Live from Emo Dojo
Live from Emo Dojo

Episode · 2 months ago

Creative and mentally ill? NFTs might be for you / Matching your "best self" with your best moments

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

John Emotions talks about how NFTs might be a great way for creative people with mental illnesses to escape the misery of day jobs, and how to set up an account using the Coinbase/Coin Wallet apps, Ethereum, and OpenSea. Then he talks about how difficult it can be for people with mental disorders to be their "best self" at exactly the moment social interactions call for it, and how this disconnect can create distressing patterns of isolation. G-Shock seemed worried that people stop leaving reviews after he showed up. John is taking a break from social media until the holidays. Please email john@emodojo.com, or call 1-405-44-3330

Hi and welcome back to the hemo Dojo,I'm johnny motions, and today it's just you- can meet so just kick back andrelax. Today, I'm going to talk about N, F ts and how people with mentalillnesses might be able to leverage this as a source of income withouthaving a boss, it's awesome and then I'm going to talkabout how having a mental illness reallythrows off your timing, your overall timing and relationships throughoutyour life that causes kind of a recurring downward spiral so I'll getto that at the end. But first, let's talk about N, F ts. What is it n FT? No Fuzzy things? No, I don't know it and if t could be alot of things, you can make up your own in thiscontext. What I'm talking about is this new thing: New Ish thing called nonfungible token: It's kind of a lame marketing term.Whatever were stuck with it, N FT is an N F T, that's a non fungible token.This non fungible token is a newer piece of the blockchain world, so inthe blockchain world, you're familiar probably with blockchain money likebitcoin and ethereum. Things like that. Well, N, F, ts are block, chainedpieces of digital art work, and so there are a lot of people with Bitcoin etherium. All the types of you know tradeable blockchain money because they startedearly and they got lots of it and they're looking for interesting, weirdthings to buy. So this is created an art market of n ftes, which could beanything anything you can imagine that's digital. It doesn't reallymatter much like in the real art world. Art isvery subjective to the viewer. You go into any art gallery around the worldand you're probably going to find something on the wall or on thepedestal. That makes you scratch your head and wonder what the fuck is this. How did this get in here? This lookslike A. I want to say this. This looks like aperson with no skill made this and I feel the same way about many n ftes andthat's okay, because that's the great thing about art, but the really interesting thing Ithink is here we get like in this zen diagram of employability and creativity. Well, a lot of people with mentalillnesses have those to, but we don't have the stability thing. So we can'thandle normal jobs for long periods of time, because something will go off therail and then the whole cycle repeats itself with creative work or workingfor yourself or just if you're a designer and particularly an artist, aphotographer that works in digital anything I mean you could just anythingyou can get on to that screen and convert up into one of the platformsthat I'll talk about in a second you can sell for whatever you want. It'slike Ebay. You could be crazy because I got one a million dollars. Okay wellprobably going to sit there, but maybe it maybe gets sold. Who knows? That's the really interesting thingabout ftse right now, and so a lot of you are creative andmany of you are probably struggling trying to hold down a quote, unquotenormal job, and you probably have this little creative creature inside of youjust begging to get out and go. You know, live in a cabin in the forest oron the beach or something and make art work and play Guitar, and you know justsit coconut drinks or whatever you do,...

...but I just I know so many creativepeople that also have mental illnesses that sufferer daily because they haveto go to what normal people call a day. Job so n FTSE might be one path toescape that misery. So I'm just going to tell you real quick in about five orsix steps, what I did and how I did it and the platforms I used ready for this.Okay. First, you got to get the coin base APP. All Right, so coin base allows you tobuy Bitcoin to theory im all the different,all kinds of different stuff like that, and in this case, for simplicity's sake,I'm just going to tell you what I used and you can dig into the details onyour own later. But so I chose ethereum because it works with the simplestplatform that I found so about some etherium. And then I you have todownload a APP that goes with coin base called Coin Wallet I downloaded Coin Wallet, then I traded my etherium that I bought in Combes over to the coin, walletspretty simple so far right. The next thing I did was, I went overto the platform that I had chose in chosen that I chosen whatever calledopen sea. It's O P e n s e a like the ocean, open sea, open sea seemed likethe easiest and coin base, also seemed like the ses apt to get ethereal.etherium works with both of these really easily. So that seemed like thesimplest way to go. Keep in mind if you use things that aresimple and thought out well planned. That means they often hired betterprogrammers than therefore they're, probably taken out a percentage orsomething somewhere in the way, because you're paying for that elegance. Okay,that's fine, I'm down with paying a little extra for the elegance and easeof use. So you with me so far we put some money from our bank accounts ontic in base transferred that etherium that we bought on coin baseover the coin Wallet, and then we opened in the count on open sea. Now I uploaded the design the art workthat I want to sell an open sea and I hit Sol. I think I'm not looking at thescreen right now, but basically there's a big blue button that says a cellar orposts or something like that. Go ahead and click that now here'swhere here's the biggest catch that I found right in this process once yousay, sell this item, it's going to ask you three different ways to sell it andchoose whatever way you want. I chose like a set price like it'll. Just staythere and sit till somebody meets that price. He can also do like auction style andone other one once you click that you're going to geta message say: Hey we have a few low fees and whatever I'm like okay, that'sfine, then you click a button and then it connects to your coin wallet the Coin Base AP and theytalk back and forth. So the next step of here's, where I'm like C, come on.So the dialogue screen came up and said: Heymining fees are a bit high right now, so it gave you three different choicesof of a minor. Apparently something has to be mined to set up your open sea account kind of makes sense to me. It's fine.You can't get around it. Whatever the issue here was that those mining fees that you know theprevious screen said were small turn out to be a hundred bucks roughly, Ithink, there's a hundred and six dollar...

...one hundred and eighteen a one and ahundred a d, twelve, something like that. There was three different choices:they were all just over a hundred bucks to basically connect what was theterminology they use. Something like initiate. Your accountat open sea or something like that. It's fine, I mean that terminology, I'mnot too concerned with. I just want to get the fucking thing up there, so thatpeople can bid on it right, long and short of it. I had to go back to my ethereum on my coin base APP and buy more of it.I had to buy enough, so I had whatever a hundred and twenty twenty five sworth of etherium so that I had to then transfer the hundred and twenty fivebucks worth of etherium back over to my coin wallet and then re initiate thecell this artwork button once that connects to your corn wallet againthere you go. It's a sees that you have enough to cover the transaction or themining fee and let you post the item and now the items post you're good togo, and I think that mining fee covers the next items you post to. I thinkit's just for your account overall I'll know to morrow. After I try to postmore items and I'll up at you on that so long, a sort of it it's about ahundred and twenty hundred a d twenty five bucks you'll have to spend. You know thatmuch on the etherium and coin base transfer, roughly a hundred and twentyfive bucks in the therium from coin base to coin Wallet, go on open, see, start an account. PutUp Your Art Work Click the button that you want to sell it. Let them initiateto each other to a coin wallet and once it shows that you have enough money tostart the minding that will happen, and then you can post your art work.totahow about that now the great thing is, or will be. Ishould hope is that it's not a hundred and twenty five dollars to have to posteach thing if it is that's pretty prohibitive. Obviously, if it's just ahundred and twenty five s to start one accounts or one gallery, let call it that seems fair, because then juststuff that bad boy full of all your crazy artwork and see what sells? Whoknows what? If somebody likes your stuff, what if you have like a wholeseries of matching characters and things like that that could be worth a lot of money tosomebody, especially people that are collecting original stuff, and thereally neat thing is, since it's block chained, if that person ever sells ityou can set it so that a percentage of that sale comes back to you. So if I put up a piece of art work- andI say I want ten per cent royalty every time- some one sells that on the blockchain to somebody else. I get ten per cent. I can't explain why things you see onyour screen or worth money, though that part blows me away. Why don't you justtake a screen shot of it that I I oh I don't know, there's something toownership, true ownership and on the blockchain. It's proven that youactually own the original of that piece of art or the rights from the originalcreator. So that's that's kind of cool and I think it's worth a hundred andtwenty five bucks to find out. So I will keep you posted and let you knowif that's for the whole account or for per item, all right cool. The other thing that's been weighingkind of heavy on my heart. Lately is this idea, and I've seen it now thatI've seen the patterns happen over and over again. So I think some of thesethings when you have mental illnesses, you can only see in hindsight after youhave many years of age behind you. I guess that make makeswisdom. I think that's what creates wisdom just paying attention to thingsyear after year after year, and then...

...after a while, it's I go yeah, that'sthe thing, so one of the most damaging recurring patterns I see in my own life,and I also noticed it with other people who have mental illnesses, and youcould relate to this too. I'm sure is that we it never feels like. I'm able supervisethe best me to those I love the most at the time,I'm with them does that make sense so, like sometimes, I feel like yeah, I'mthe best me right fucking now. This is me like clear, headed, like you know,full of hope and positivity clear view of the future. You know ate a good breakfast orwhatever took a nice long walk all whatever. Whatever. However, you feellike the best you right, but invariably, when you have a mental illness, itseems like nobody else is ever around when you're, when you're having thebest you kind of day it just sucks, because other people- and I notice this a lotwith my kids right. So when I got divorced now, I'm broke basicallybecause you got to live on half your income and pay it back to the mom andbecause that you have nowhere to live and that triggers mental illnesses.Right it'll fucking in trigger your disorder, hard core, and then you had then you're in afucked up spot right. So then, now that relationship is that we got to go todad's, but now they're not getting to best me the getting this deterioratedversion of me that stuck living in a fucked up tiny little place, orsomething like that. You know I try to make the most of, and I'm always tryingto be positive, especially when they were young, I'm like Oh yeah. This iskind of be fun about it whatever and I tried to make everything seem fun andlike an adventure, but you know they just don't they don't remember thingsthat way. They remember. I don't they rememberthings differently like this all struck me when one of my kids, he recalled the story and he said Heyremember when you almost let me drowned at thatone swimming pool where he lived at those apartments and like what I'm like.That's the time that I saved you from drowning, drowning wower, you say theword and it just it struck me so bizarre because I'm like what I was theone who helped you, but they remember it backwards, like I don't know likehow does that all happen anyway, so each time in my life, then I'd get kind of shout out wholly depressed, lose a job or causewhatever losels cat lose a job, but normally I don't quit. It'd be fired orsome kind of weird tension, because I don't know because I'm fucking mewhat right I do. The Best I can, but anyway depressing usually is one of thejob killers overall, I'm not quite there to where I can qualify for anykind of disability. But it's enough to where my life has been a fuckinghellish cycle over and over again, like every thousand days cycle repeatsitself, but The Times that I've been up there's been nobody around because theTimes that they've been around I've been at my lowest. Nobody can deal withthat. Understandably, and then the pattern repeats because they they likenot just my kids but like everybody in my past, almost that I can think ofright now- HMM yeah they they they've, been worn out. I've worn them outbecause they were they've had they were around me when I was not at my best forwhatever reason, which is funny, because when I'm at my worst and I needhelp nobody's around either, but when I'm just barely getting by that,somebody might talk to me on the phone...

...or see me in person or something and they're just not getting my best like fuck. I feel like I have so manyopportunities to perform and be a fucking awesome person, and I just letpeople down, and I wonder if you do you feel that way like Jeez, I'm not trying to be a dick oranything like that and like, for example, with my boys. Recently, I've been thinking about them a lot, soI just miss them so and I'm just trying to figure out like undoing my mind whathappened. But it's that whole thing like I was in a fucked up situation.Anyway, we were in like swamps of Louisiana living in a house wherethere's gaps into the doors big enough for like little lizards to crawl in theweather was horrible, a man. It was just tough and so thenthey came to live with me there and there was so much tension to begin withthat. We didn't even give a like a fair shake to be father and sons, and I have a really strong thing aboutjustice and fairness, and that's one thing that really fucks with my head. Alot is that every time I get a chance to be with my sons, it's in a reallystressful situation of not only are we now in the swamps like Kovidaras, so now we're in coved, andthen we go to Oklahoma because my son's got into a fight with my roommate inLouisiana. But I've told everybody before you know: I'm not going to takesomebody else's side over my kids, so I will always take their side and then weended up in Oklahoma and then you know we're in fucking the tiny one bedroomapartment, three of US grown size, men and I'm stressed out. I got to find ajob everything's fucked up, I don't get extended, benefits, there's no extra!You know unemployment for me, there's no unemployment for me anyway. So Ifound a quick little job for a marketing company. Fine then I found anormal job, but throughout this time I didn't know if I was going to findanything. We literally left Louisiana in a suburban me and my two sonspulling a trailer, I'm like what the fuck, where we going. How is this evengoing to work entirely stressful and I mean I'mhighly sensitive person anyway, and it was just really a lot to handle and Ididn't handle it well, but I didn't t I didn't, beat anybody. I didn't curse.Anybody out. I didn't fucking, throw things or break things, I'm just I'mnot that kind of person. I have self control come on, but I just you know there's times where I just gothim my son, because the bike store was closed or because wewere looking at like a a site for the business we wanted to start and I got on because I didn't think hewas up to speed with the plans that we had already made, so it felt like hewasn't paying attention. So I cudn't I got on her for that. But you know thatwas enough and we had to blow up about who owns mytruck, which was a sore spot for me, because my own dad tried to steal itfrom me and I'm just tired of people trying to take shit from you it so so much you know. But again, all ofthese things would not have happened if we ere, if things were whole like ifour lives were whole together like if things just never got fucked up, we would have a full sized house withplenty of room for everybody. Every whoever wanted a car would have a car,but things have so disintegrated now and I think a lot of people with mentalillnesses feel exactly like this, because things keep repeating in cyclesand just when you think you have everything good together, you find like.Oh things are going good, of course. Now, there's nobody here to have anyfun with to like to share in the love, and I then youget depressed after years or at least...

...after months and months, but definitelyafter years you just get depressed that there's nobody to share it with, andthen, when somebody comes back into your life, you don't know how toexpress how the fucking your joy and then gets all been out of shape. Andthen my one of my other sons came to visit us here and I was tired. I waslike super stressed out about trying to get to a job and get enough sleep forthat job, and they were, you, know, staying up on night playing video gamesand you know I just woke up and I was cranky because I'm like I need somesleep, but now I feel like a Dick, because that was my only chance to seehim and now I felt like he took that personally go so much. You know what Imean and I don't know I just had to get that that part out. So I appreciate youfor listening, but you know I feel it too. I mean if you are, if you'resuffering from some kind of mental illness, whether it's by polar disorderor borderline disorder, obviously anxiety and straight to sortstraight depression. Then yeah, you probably start to understand how thecycle will just take you out of the social game entirely and without anyfriends or even family left the older you get. It really gets fucking. Likelonely. You know this. Nobody to give you a hug,and you know how exhausting it is to have to take care of yourself all daylong with nobody around I'm talking every single little thing from fuckingdoing the laundry putting the ice in the ice tray. So every little thingneeds to be done. The things that you would normally ask somebody hey. Couldyou do this for me real, quick cool? Can you do this sure be happy to sowhen you got to people there's like a little balance when somebody's upsomebody's down- and you can- you know, share when you by yourself: It's it eitheryou do it or just does not get done and a lot of times things don't get done.Then you feel like a fucking slab like a slacker, because it's exhausting justto keep up with the vacuum in cleaning the bath tub and doing the laundry andcoming shopping and all that stuff. It's rough when you're alone, so Idon't know if there's some way that I could collect all my good times and put himin a collection and share those with the people that used to love me or that I love. However,you want to frame that. That would be awesome, and if you hearthis- and you know me from the past that then yeah thanks for listening,because I have love for you as well before I get out of here today. It'sgoing kind of long up, sorry had to fucking breathe and just get it out. I was talking to g shock the other dayand he sounded concerned that we stopped getting reviews after he started coming on. He didn'tsay it outright, but I got the sense that he thought it was because of him,and I don't think so. I think it was something else I think it was when Itried to have a co host. She fucked things up and made me stressout, and then we had like a slack channel that somebody else was likebecky was trying to fuck around there. There's two beckies and I love themboth once a podcaster and one is. She was like a fan of the show and she kept talking about like thisperson that wasn't in the group personally and I'm like. Oh that's toomuch. This is not appropriate and I asked her to like take a break and shedidn't whatever. But now I feel like a Dick for for that. You know I M my ohwell, this you just being a Dick, should let her go so becky that Becky,if you're out there, I apologize I'm not starting the new slat group butyeah. I mean I see, I know when I can be a Dick and a lot a lot of times,just like a sneeze.

Does that make sense if, if you have amental inness, sometimes your reaction is like a sneeze to a normal person.Let me explain it's that you can't control it. You know you'reabout to do it, you did it. You might have sneezed on somebody and youapologize and keep going. If someone throws some black powder in your nose and you sneeze on them, you probablygonna say what the Fuck are you doing? Why did you make me sneeze like? Inother words, we can be provoked? Yes, of course, there are many people in thelives of people with mental illnesses, who love to provoke us right and they get off on that they're sick.A lot of them are basically narcissus who have not gone gone to the hospitalor seeing a drink on any regular basis, and just don't acknowledge thenarcissism. In fact, all of us have a little bit of Narsisi. So it'simportant to like check in on that Shit and make sure you're not being thenarcissist, which is why I put such a heavy emphasis on apologizing.Sometimes you know and all the time whatever we got, ter fucking apologizeevery episode, but I sometimes I apologize in my head. I work all thesethings out and I think oh yeah cool, it's all good, but I never actuallycalled them or I never email them or text tete or told anybody a lot of times. I do not every time soif you think I'm mad at you or anything like that, I for yeah, I totallyforgive everybody for give you and you and you and, if you've apologized, tome for something. Yes, I accept your apologize, your apology, man, I'm just trying to keep it alltogether. I feel like I'm going in this transition of life. I need to clean upsome past business, so I can move on to the next thing and yeah so anyway, Iappreciate you for listening and we'll talk about something hopefully moreuplifting on the next episode of the show. You know that actually doesn'thave a name. We recorded the EMO DOJO and I call this character. Johnnymotions they realized yea doesn't actually havea name because I wiped to buy polar style off, because I didn't want thestigma right anyway, if could think of a good name for the podcast cool. OhDad got all distracted, so tireder Gary thinks nobody loves him, becausethere's no reviews and comments he's all. I would even take a bad review,but I'm like no don't do that. I'd rather have no review than bad review,fuck that just honest review yeah, but please, if you're listening. I knowit's a pain, the ASS, to leave a review, because I try to leave reviews andthere's tons of great podcast, then think man. I should leave a review forthis show I love this show and I just don't and I keep listening and I listento all their podcast and I'm like when the fuck is your next episode comingout, and you know I never returned the favor it network can hardly ever willdo the review. Except now, now I'm trying to start this new thing. Youknow trying to change my life and I'm leaving reviews and emailingpeople that are here on their podcast and thanking them and stuff like that,because it's important to let people know that they are heard. I think so.To that extent, I would like to know that this show is heard, so you canemail me John, at emo do joco pretty straightforward J, O H, n John and I'm going to get off social mediauntil the holidays. Just need a break from that shit. It's too much, but youcan always email me there or you can call the studio called four o five.Four four o three three three O and leave me a voice mail. I will love tohear from you that way and I promise I will not exploit your call over thispodcast real quickly. Here are the other thingsI'm doing to change. I...

...cut all sugar, snacks and drinks out ofmy diet, replace them with the water and salad, and I started rowing every day. That's these two of the bigchanges anyway, and just I'm constantly doingthe research on my brain and trying to fix me working on in Cyphosis spit it out. Sike whats it psychosensory to be confused withdianetics the Scientology Shit. It's not scientology, look up side, man look up how to pronounce words, Look Up, psycho, cybernetics and thepower of the subconscious. Mind he's the kind of books I'm getting back into.It was starting a vision board. Yes, sounds Corny Rathans for listening to me. Talking,I'm happy to be in your head. Hit me up: Tackin, good, bye and now back to the wall.

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