John | Podcasting
John | Podcasting

Episode · 1 year ago

Creative and mentally ill? NFTs might be for you / Matching your "best self" with your best moments

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

John Emotions talks about how NFTs might be a great way for creative people with mental illnesses to escape the misery of day jobs, and how to set up an account using the Coinbase/Coin Wallet apps, Ethereum, and OpenSea. Then he talks about how difficult it can be for people with mental disorders to be their "best self" at exactly the moment social interactions call for it, and how this disconnect can create distressing patterns of isolation. G-Shock seemed worried that people stop leaving reviews after he showed up. John is taking a break from social media until the holidays. Please email john@emodojo.com, or call 1-405-44-3330

Hi and welcome back to Emo Dojo. I'm johnny emotions and today it's just you and meet so just kick back and relax. Today I'm going to talk about NFT's and how people with mental illnesses might be able to leverage this as a source of income without having a boss. It's awesome. And then I'm going to talk about how having a mental illness really throws off your timing, your overall timing and relationships throughout your life. That causes kind of a recurring downward spiral. So I'll get to that at the end, but first let's talk about N F T's. What is NFT? No fuzzy things. Now I don't know, and ft you could be a lot of things. You can make up your own in this context. What I'm talking about is this new thing, new ish thing, called non fungible token. It's kind of a lame marketing term, whatever, we're stuck with it. Nft Is an nft that's a non fungible token. This non fungible token is a newer piece of the blockchain world. So in the blockchain world you're familiar probably with blockchain money like bitcoin and etherium things like that. Well, and FT's are block chained pieces of digital artwork, and so there are a lot of people with Bitcoin, etherium, all the types of, you know, tradable blockchain money, because they started early and they got lots of it and they're looking for an interesting, weird things to buy. So this is created an art market of NFT's which could be anything, anything you can imagine that's digital. It doesn't really matter much like in the real art world, art is very subjective to the viewer. You go into any art gallery around the world and you're probably going to find something on the wall or on the pedestal that makes you scratch your head and wonder what the fuck is this? How did this get in here? This looks like a I want to say this, and this looks like a person with no skill made this. And I feel the same way about many nfts, and that's okay, because that's the great thing about art. But the really interesting thing, I think, is here we get like in this zend diagram of and employability and creativity. Well, a lot of people with mental illnesses have those two, but we don't have the stability things. So we can't handle normal jobs for long periods of time because something will go off the rail and then the whole cycle repeats itself. With creative work or working for yourself, or just if you're a designer, and particularly an artist, a photographer that works in digital anything. I mean he could just anything you can get onto that screen and convert up into one of the platforms that I'll talk about in a second. You can sell for whatever you want. It's like Ebay. You could be crazy because I got one a million dollars. Okay, well, probably going to sit there, but maybe it maybe gets sold. Who knows? That's the really interesting thing about nfts right now. And so a lot of you are creative and many of you are probably struggling trying to hold down a quote unquote normal job and you probably have this little creative creature inside of you just begging to get out and go, you know, live in a cabin in the forest or on the beach or something and make artwork and play guitar and, you know, just sit...

...coconut drinks or whatever you do. But I just I know so many creative people that also have mental illnesses, that suffer daily because they have to go to what normal people call a day job. So nfts might be one path to escape that misery. So I'm just going to tell you real quick and about five or six steps, what I did and how I did it and the platforms I used. Ready for this? Okay? First you got to get the coin base APP, all right. So coin base allows you to buy Bitcoin, the theorium, all the different all kinds of different stuff like that. And in this case, for Simplicity Sake, I'm just going to tell you what I used and you can dig into the details on your own later. But so I chose etherium because it works with the simplest platform that I found. So I bought some etherium and then you have to download APP that goes with coin base called Coin Wallet. I downloaded coin wallet, then I traded my etherium that I bought in coin base over to the coin wallet. Pretty simple, so far, right. The next thing I did was I went over to the platform that I had chose. In chosen that I had chosen whatever called open sea. It's open sea, like the ocean, open sea, opensee, seemed like the easiest and coin based also seemed like the easiest APP to get etherium. If theorium works with both of these really easily. So that seemed like the simplest way to go. Keep in mind if you use things that are simple and thought out, well plan and that means they often hired better programmers and therefore they're probably taken out a percentage or something somewhere in the way because you're paying for that elegance. Okay, that's fine. I'm down with paying a little extra for the elegance and ease of use. So you with me so far? We put some money from our bank account on two coin base, transferred that etherium that we bought on coin base over the coin wallet and then we opened an account on open see. Now I uploaded the design, the artwork that I want to sell on open sea and I hit sell. I think I'm not looking at the screen right now, but basically there's a big blue button that says a seller or post or something like that. Go ahead and click that. Now here's where. Here's the biggest catch that I found right in this process. Once you say sell this item, it's going to ask you three different ways to sell it and you chick choose whatever way you want. I chose like a set price, like it'll just stay there, and so they'll somebody meets that price. You can also do like auction style and one other one. Once you click that, you're going to get a message to say, Hey, we have a few low fees and whatever. I'm like, okay, that's fine. Then you click a button and then it connects to your coin and Wallet, the Coin Base App and they talked back and forth. So the next step of the here's where I'm like a f come on. So the dialog screen came up and said, hey, mining fees are a bit high right now. So gave you three different choices of a minor apparently something has to be mined to set up your open sea account. Kind of makes sense to me. It's fine. You can't get around it. Whatever. The issue here was that those mining fees that, you know, the previous screen said were small turn out to be a hundred bucks roughly. I think there's a hundred...

...six dollar one, a hundred eighteen dollar one and a hundred and twelve something like that. Those three different choices, they were all just over a hundred bucks. To basically connect. What was the terminology they used? Something like initiate your account at Opensee or something like that. It's fine, I mean that terminology I'm not too concern with. I just want to get the fucking thing up there so people can bid on it. Right long and short of it, I had to go back to my etherium on my coin base APP and buy more of it. I had to buy enough so I had whatever, a hundred and twenty twenty five dollars worth of Aitherium, so that I had to then transfer the hundred and twenty five bucks worth of Atherium back over to my coin wallet and then reinitiate the sell this artwork button once that connects to your coin wallet again. There you go. It's a sees that you have enough to cover the transaction or the mining fee and let you post the item and now the items posts. You're good to go, and I think that mining fee covers the next items you post to. I think it's just for your account overall. I'll know tomorrow after I try to post more items and I'll update you on that. So, long and short of it, it's about a hundred and twenty, hundred and twenty five bucks. You'll have to spend. You know that much on the etherium in coin base transfer. Roughly hundred twenty five bucks in the theorium from coin base to coin wallet. Go on open see, start an account, put up your artwork, click the button that you want to sell it. Let them initiate to each other to your coin wallet and once it shows they have enough money to start the mining. That'll happen and then you can post your artwork Tudda. How about that? Now the great thing is, or will be, I should hope, is that it's not a hundred twenty five dollars to have to post each thing. If it is, that's pretty prohibitive. Obviously. If it's just a hundred and twenty five to start art one account, or one gallery, let's call it, that seems fair, because then just stuff that bad boy full of all your crazy artwork and see what sells. Who knows what if somebody likes your stuff? What if you have like a whole series of matching characters or things like that? That could be worth a lot of money to somebody, especially people that are collecting original stuff. And the really neat thing is, since it's blockchained, if that person ever sells it, you can set it so that a percentage of that sale comes back to you. So if I put up a piece of artwork and I say I want ten percent royalty. Every time someone sells that on the blockchain to somebody else, I get ten percent. I can't explain why things you see on your screen are worth money, though. That part blows me away. Why don't you just take a screenshot of it? That it? I don't know. There's something to ownership, true ownership, and on the blockchain it's proven that you actually own the original of that piece of art or the rights from the original creator. So that's that's kind of cool and I think it's worth a hundred and twenty five bucks to find out. So I will keep you posted and let you know if that's for the whole account or for per item. All right, cool. The other thing that's been weighing kind of heavy on my heart lately is this idea, and I've seen it now that I've seen the patterns happen over and over again. So I think some of these things, when you have mental illnesses, you can only see in hindsight after you have many years of age behind you. I guess that makes wisdom. I think that's what creates wisdom, just paying attention two things year after year after year, and then after a while it's like, oh, yeah, that's the thing.

So one of the most damaging recurring patterns I see in my own life, and I also noticed it with other people who have mental illnesses, and you could relate to this too, I'm sure, is that we it never feels like I'm able to provide the best me to those I love the most at the time I'm with them. Does that make sense? So, like sometimes I feel like, yeah, I'm the best me, right fucking now, this is me, like clearheaded, like, you know, full of hope and positivity, clear view of the future, you know, aid a good breakfast or whatever, took a nice long walk, all the whatever, whatever. However, you feel like the best you right, but invariably, when you have a mental illness, it seems like nobody else's ever around when you're when you're having the best you kind of day, and it just sucks because other people, and I noticed this a lot with my kids. Right. So, when I got divorced, now I'm broke, basically because, you know, you got to live on half your income and pay it back to the mom and because that you have nowhere to live, and that triggers mental illnesses, right it'll fucking new trigger your disorder hardcore and then you had then you're in a fucked up spot, right. So then, now that relationship is that, oh, we got to go to dad's, but now they're not getting the best me to getting this deteriorated version of me that stuck living in a fucked up, tiny little place or something like that. You know, I try to make the most of it and I'm always trying to be positive, especially when they were young. I'm like, Oh, yeah, this is kind of be fun about it whatever, and I tried to make everything seem fun and like an adventure. But you know, they just don't. They don't remember things that way. They remember I don't. They remember things differently. Like it. And this all struck me when one of my kids eat he recalled the story and he said, Hey, remember when you almost let me drowned at that one swimming pool where you lived, at those apartments, and like what? I'm like, that's the time that I saved you from drowning. Drowning. However, you say the word and it just it struck me as so bizarre because I'm like what, I was the one who helped you. But they remember it backwards, like I don't know, like how does that all happen? Anyway. So each time in my life then I'd get kind of shut out, wholly depressed, lose a job or cause whatever, loseless, caught, lose a job, but normally I don't quit. It would be fired or some kind of weird Tangion, because I don't know, because I'm fucking me right. I do the best I can, but anyway, depression usually is one of the job killers. Overall, I'm not quite there to where I can qualify for any kind of disability, but it's enough to where my life has been a fucking hellish cycle over and over again, like every thousand days. Cycle repeats itself. But the Times that I've been up, there's been nobody around, because the Times that they've been around I've been at my lowest. Nobody can deal with that, understandably. And then the pattern repeats because they they, like ever, not just my kids, but like everybody in my past, almost that I can think of right now. HMM, yeah, they, they, they've been worn out. I've warned them out because they were. They've had they were around me when I was not at my best for whatever reason. which is funny because when I'm at my worst and I need help, nobody's around either, but when I'm just barely getting by that somebody might talk to me on...

...the phone or see me in person or something, and they're just not getting my best. Like fuck. I feel like I have so many opportunities to perform and be a fucking awesome person and I just let people down. and I wonder if you do you feel that way, like Geez, I'm not trying to be a dick or anything like that. And like, for example, with my boys. Recently, I've been thinking about them a lot. So I just miss them so and I'm just trying to figure out, like undoing my mind, what happened. But it's that whole thing. Like I was in a fucked up situation anyway. We're in like swamps of Louisiana, living in a house where there's gaps under the doors big enough for like little lizards to crawl in. The weather was horrible. The man was just tough, and so then they came to live with me there and there was so much tension to begin with that we didn't even give a get like a fair shake to be father and sons and I have a really strong thing about justice and fairness, and that's one thing that really fucks with my head a lot is that every time I get a chance to be with my sons, it's in a really stressful situation. Oh, not only are we now in the swamps like covid starts. So now we're in covid and then we go to Oklahoma because my son's got into a fight with my roommate in Louisiana. But I've told everybody it before. You know I'm not going to take somebody else's side over my kids, so I will always take their side. And then we ended up in Oklahoma and then, you know, we're in fucking the tiny one bedroom apartment, three of US grown size men, and I'm stressed out. I got to find a job. Everything's fucked up. I don't get extended benefits, there's no extra you know, unemployment for me. There's no employment for me anyway. So I found a quick little job for a marketing company. Fine, then I found a normal job, but throughout this time I didn't know if I was going to find anything. We literally left Louisiana in a suburban me and my two sons pulling a trailer. I'm like, what the fuck were we going? What? How? How is this even going to work? Entirely stressful, and I mean I'm highly sensitive person anyway, and it was just really a lot to handle and I didn't handle it well. But I didn't try. I didn't beat anybody, I didn't curse anybody out, I didn't fucking throw things or break things. I'm just I'm not that kind of person. I have self control, come on, but I just you know, there's Times where I just got on my son because the bike store was closed or because we're looking at like a site for the business we wanted to start, and I got on because I didn't think he was up to speed with the plans that we had already made. So it felt like he wasn't paying attention, so I gottn't. I got on for that. But you know, that was enough. And we had a blow up about who owns my my truck, which was a sore spot for me because my own dad tried to steal it from me and I'm just tired of people trying to take shit from me. It's so much, you know. But again, all of these things would not have happened if we were, if things were whole, like if our lives were whole together, like if things just never got fucked up, we would have a full size house with plenty of room for everybody. Every whoever wanted a car would have a car. But things are so disintegrated now and I think a lot of people with mental illnesses feel exactly like this, because things keep repeating in cycles and just when you think you have everything good together, you find like, oh, things are going good, of course now there's nobody here to have any fun with, to like, to share in the love, and then you get depressed after years, or or at least after months and months, but...

...definitely after years, you just get to press that there's nobody to share it with, and then when somebody comes back into your life, you don't know how to express how the fucking your joy and then gets all bent out of shape. And then my one of my other sons came to visit us here and I was tired. I was like super stressed out about trying to get to a job and get enough sleep for that job, and they were, you know, stand up on night playing video games and you know, just woke up and I was cranky because I'm like, I need some sleep, but now I feel like a Dick because that was my only chance to see him and now I felt like he took that personally. Guys so much. You know what I mean, and I don't know, I just had to get that that part out, and so I appreciate you for listening, but you know, I feel it too. I mean, if you're, if you're suffering from some kind of mental illness, whether it's bipolar disorder or borderline disorder, obviously anxiety and straight disorder, straight depression, then yeah, you probably start to understand how the cycle will just take you out of the social game entirely and without any friends or even family left. The older you get, it really gets fucking like lonely. You know there's nobody to give you a hug and you know how exhausting it is to have to take care of yourself all day long with nobody around. I'm talking every single little thing, from fucking doing the laundry, putting the ice in the ice tray, to every little thing needs to be done, the things that you would normally as somebody. Hey, could you do this for me real quick? Cool could you do this, share be happy too. So when you got two people, that's like a little balance. When somebody's up, somebody's down, and you can, you know, share. When you buy yourself, it's either you do it or just does not get done, and a lot of times things don't get done and then you feel like a fucking slab, like a slacker, because it's exhausting just to keep up with the vacuum in that cleaning the bathtub and doing the laundry and going shopping and all that stuff. It's rough when you're alone. So I don't know if there's some way that I could collect all my good times and put them in a collection and share those with the people that are used to love me or that I love. However you want to frame that, that would be awesome. And if you hear this and you know me from the past, then yeah, thanks for listening, because I have love for you as well before I get out of here today. It's going kind of long time. Sorry, had to fucking breathe and just get it out. I was talking to g shock the other day and he sounded concerned that we stopped getting reviews after he started coming on. He didn't say it out right, but I got the sense that he thought it was because of him, and I don't think so. I think it was something else. I think it was when I tried to have a cohost. She fuck things up and made me stress out, and then we had like a slack channel that somebody else was like becky was trying to fuck around in there. There's two becky's and I love them both. Once a podcaster and one is she was like a fan of the show and she kept talking about like this person that wasn't in the group personally, and I'm like, oh, that's too much, this is not appropriate, and I asked her to like take a break and she did whatever, but now I feel like a Dick for for that, you know, I'm like, Oh, well, there's you just being a Dick. Should let her go. So, Becky, that Becky, if you're out there, I apologize. I'm not starting a new slack group, but yeah, I mean, I see, I know when I can be a Dick and a lot, a lot of times just like a sneeze. Is that make sense? If you have a...

...mental illness, sometimes your reaction is like a sneeze to a normal person. Let me explain. It's that you can't control it. You know you're about to do it, you did it. You might have sneezed on somebody and you apologize and keep going. If someone throws some black powder and your nose and you sneeze on them, you probably gonna say, what the fuck are you doing? Why'd you make me sneeze like in other words, we can be provoked. Yes, of course. There're many people in the lives of people with mental illnesses who love to provoke us right and they get off on that. They're sick. A lot of them are basically narcissist who have not going gone to the hospital or seeing a shrink on any regular basis and just don't acknowledge the narcissist them. In fact, all of us have a little bit of narcissism, so it's important to like check in on that Shit and make sure you're not being the narcissist, which is why I put such a heavy emphasis on apologizing. Sometimes, you know, all the time whatever, when it's they're fucking apologize every episode. But I sometimes I apologize in my head. Now work all these things out and think, oh yeah, cool, it's all good, but I never actually call them or I never email them. We're text there and more's told anybody. A lot of times I do, but not every time. So if you think I'm mad at you or anything like that, I've forgot. Yeah, I totally forgive everybody. Forgive you and you and you, and if you've apologized to me for something, yes, I accept your apologize, your apology. Man, I'm just trying to keep it all together. I feel like I'm going in this transition of life. I need to clean up some past business so I can move on to the next thing. And Yeah, so, anyway, I appreciate you for listening and we'll talk about something, hopefully more uplifting, on the next episode of this show. You know, that actually doesn't have a name. We record at the EMO Dojo and I call this character Johnny. Emotions they're realized. Yeah, that doesn't actually have a name because I wiped a buipolar style off because I didn't want the stigma right. Anyway, if you good thing of a good name for the podcast, cool, Oh du got all distracted. So the pretter Gary thinks nobody loves him because there's no reviews and comments. He's all I would even take a bad review, but I'm like no, don't do that. I'd rather have no review than bad review. Fuck that, just honest review. Yeah, but please, if you're listening, I know it's a panda ass to leave a review, because I try to leave reviews and there's tons of great podcast then think, man, I should leave a review for this show. I love this show and I just don't and I keep listening and I listen to all their podcast and I'm like, when the fuck is your next episode coming out? And you know, I never returned the favorite new for I can hardly ever will do the review, except now. Now I'm trying to start this new thing, you know, trying to change my life, and I'm leaving reviews and I'm emailing people that are here on their podcast and thanking them and stuff like that, because it's important to let people know that they're heard. I think so. To that extent, I would like to know that this show is heard. So you can email me, John at Emo DOJOCOM. Pretty straightforward, John John, and I'm going to get off social media until the holidays. Just need to break from that Shit. It's too much. But you can always email me there or you can call the studio. Call Four hundred and five, four Oh three thousand and thirty three hundred and leave me a voice mail. I would love to hear from you that way and I promise I will not exploit your call. Over this podcast real quickly. Here are the other things I'm doing to change. I cut all sugar, snacks and drinks out...

...of my diet, replace them with water and salad, and I started rowing every day. That's those the two of the big changes. Anyway, and just I'm constantly doing the research on my brain and trying to fix me, working on Cyposyde spit it out. Psyche. What is it? Psycho cybernetics, not to be confused with Dianetics, the scientology. Shit, it's not scientology. Look up sybe man, look up how to pronounce words. Look up psycho cybernetics and the power of the subconscious mind. He's the kind of books I'm getting back into and been starting a vision board. Yes, it sounds Corny, it works to try. Thanks for listening to me talk. I'm happy to be in your head. Hit me up talking soon. Goodbye, and now back to the wall.

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