Live from Emo Dojo
Live from Emo Dojo

Episode · 3 months ago

Jealousy feels like / Privileged justice gone bad / High difficulty

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

John shares how he worked through his feelings on Simone Biles, the concept of quitting, mental health advocacy, justice and jealousy. Also, updates on new shows and recovering from some nerve damage.

Song: "Security" by Amyl and The Sniffers

More at johnemotions.com 

Go Hey welcome back to the EMO Dojo,I'm John! This is my podcast. How are you who are you? Have you been of you taking care of yourself outthere, so g shock, and I found a third person a guy named Mike and we're goingto split off and finally make a o r own little podcast, which means now thischannel needs a show. So it just going to be me talking again like it's beenoff and on for years, hey cool, so we'll see what becomes of the otherone. Where are working on like logos and names, and things like that andbasically we just wanted to be like a three way: partnership, instead of justthe one guy with a couple of other guys helping him type of thing. I don't wantthat. I don't need help I'd rather either. Do it this way completely bymyself or like more like a team work whereeverybody has different shores, and...

...things like that. So anyway, was justluck on that one I'll tell you more about that as it progresses. Since weare all drummers, the general theme is probably going tobe something about drummers, like a drummers perspective on life and themes,around momentum, tempo timing, et Cera, should be pretty cool yeah. Moreimportantly, whether or not that second podcast succeeds is based purely on thethree of our ability to make it work. That leaves me free to let this podcasthere focus just on what I'm doing right now kind of like a hobby, podcastadjacent to the work. I'm trying to get finished in this case get started after talkingto a couple of different vocal coaches. It turns out the one nearest me thathappens to also be in my town he's also a world renowned for this skill, and we got along reallywell and I think that's all going to be...

...killer. So I locked down with that GuySean Pratt and we're going to be working with eachother for like a year. So I'm going to work with him towardsreading non fiction. Books on audible might seem kind of boring, but it alsoseems very hmm. I don't know working class orsomething seems like a good shore fire way to get into the business. If you can do thework, know you're not trying to be like a bigshot, trying to do movie, trailers or car commercials, or things like that work like games or cartoons, or thingslike that. That seems like next level. I think mostly rock star voice actors,kind of do that work, none the less. I listen to a lot of audio books and I hear a need for voice actors allthe time, which is to say some of the audio books. I listen to have horriblereaders, so hang around on that journey...

...with me. I also started to think I wantto start interviewing people just like from my twitter, feed or old friendsfrom facebook just check in with them and talk about it on a podcast, becausethen my other friends from the old days would probably want to listen to thoseconversations and chime in right and one of my long time goals had alwaysbeen like. How did you just make a audio version of your twitter feed? So most of that entails having a solidtwitter feed of just active users like real people, no bots and then finding one you like can engage with ona regular basis that you start to establish some trust and then at somepoint invite them on to the show ask them about a specific post or a commentthey made on another post or something they shared. That seems fun. So I thinkI'm going to try to do something like that anyway, no pressure, basically theI'm not putting really a lot of pressure on the artistic part ofcreating stuff for a podcast as much as...

...just getting on the Mike and creating apodcast like a couple years ago. I did this thing called the dog days ofAugust. We was basically a podcast challenge where we made a podcast everyday for the entire month of August, and I did it I liked it. I like the outcome,it just kind of builds your podcasting muscles. So I'm going to do that. Lucky,you! Here's! How life was currently piecing together, the well I've talkedto my superiors at work and what I do. Basically, I signed upas a salesperson, and I've hit my marks as far as number of customers, andthings like that, which is great because I sat prettyliberal mark, like I said higher marks than I thought I could get and I hithim. That was good. The issue, for me personally, is the forecast that they had made were based on last year's numbers inthe industry. Well, this year, despite...

...me hitting all the right numbers withregards to new customers, the average purchase per customer where last year Imight have been two thousand dollars, is now five hundred dollars and theaverage price of say the commodity. We're selling hasdropped in half, so there's a lot of forces at play that end up with me,making way less money than I thought was going to make. That said, thepeople I work with the really cool, really nice and they are supportive ofme doing the voice acting thing on the side as well. So if I need to run andgo, do some voice acting work so long as I get my appointments met and thingslike that they're cool, which you can't get that at every job and the fact thatI would have two jobs. That kind of complement each other is great. Becausethen I get the variety and I get a little incentive to stay at one andsome more incentive to grow the new venture. So I think it's all going towork out. Okay, stressful there for a...

...minute, though so so stressful. Asmatter of fact, I got the shingles, that's fucked up if you're in aposition to get a singles vaccine, you might want to consider that it got inmy back and my shoulder blades and right now it's in my rotator cuff, andwhat the singles is. Basically, it attacks your nerve endings, so long andshort of it. I now have nerve damage in my rotator cuff, and I can't lift myarm up all the way, so I'm kind of gimpy and that sucks the rash ishorrible and painful. Fortunately that went away- and you know you- take themedicine and makes the virus go away, but the residual nerve damage takes a long time to healand cure and fix itself and all the while, it's tingling. So it's painfulthat part sucks and it's really hard to get any sleep, because you just thepain wakes, you up, you can't take ib pro fen or anything like that,because what are you trying to do reduce inflammation? There is noinflammation its nerve damage and, of...

...course, the lack of sleep makes mecrazy and angry and a little twisted out of shape. But that said every dayit feels a little bit better and my first voice less on what the with Sanis not for another month, so I think everything's going to be fine. I justneed to take it easy and let myself heel and get something done about myshoulder on the coved front. I am starting tostay inside a lot more again thanks whoever coved germs, thanks ovid germs anyway yeah I'm on. I do a lot more ofmy sales from the telephone right now and just go out and make deliveries when I need to, andotherwise I kind of I can stay at home, plus air condition. It's been hot asfuck outside boy like hot and humid, so it might as well stay inside yeahtry to stay safe. I go to the supermarket either really late at nightor early in the morning, when there's...

...fewer crowds wear a mask who wouldn'twear a mask? That's the part I get well. Who Cares whether you got a vaccine ornot? I, my God? Okay, so still, wear mask. What's the big fucking deal, Imean, I think I've said this before, but why like, if you why you don't havea problem wearing pants? So why do you have a problem wearing amask? At least the mask is preventing germ transmission. It pants, isn'tpreventing anything except us, seeing your little Dick. So how about that? How about? Let'sswitch? You start wearing the mask and you can go pantless that'll be theswitch. You can still have your liberties, we just won't catch your germs andevery one will see what a little Dick you have. They got people going to concerts. Ohmy gosh, I was just watching the Lala Pelouse a couple minutes ago, there's just a whole bunch of people.There nobody's got masks on that's why...

I'm staying inside, because ifeveryone's passing it on to others, then I don't want to catch it. I don't wantto catch it. The second time know how first time, Takin time, thirdtime, no time and the okay. So the Olympic thing is what was setting meoff earlier in the week. Not for the reasons you might think. Idon't know. I don't even know what you think about my opinion about stuff likethat, so some one biles right when she pulled out because she could nail hertricks. My instant thought was you can't quit. There's no quitting right,of course, because that's that's just how we were raised. That's how I wasprogrammed as a kid, but being a long time. Mental HealthAdvocate I'm like Oh yeah, yeah she's, entitled to Yeadon stly. Whatever youwant, it's les, it's not a job, it's just nobody's responsibility could juststop any time. She isn't. Oh, was anything, and then I I didn't realize until theother day that she was involved in that whole Larry, Naser rape, Academy thing.So that's that trauma growing up as a...

...black woman trauma so much trauma therealready. But what really gets me is that she was trying to do like a deathdefine trick effectively. Have you ever tried to do a death tofine trick like ever? Have you ever hung from a rope like from the outsideof a sky scraper totally safe? You know but scary, if you ever climbed over acandle lever, bridge climbed super high in a tree or up atower, how about a high dive, just climbed up to the top of the highesthigh dive or high school? If you ever done that, okay well, now imagine like twisting and turningand flipping your body and hoping you land the right way and not landing onyour neck and dying. So that- and I do draw a distinction between that and thetennis player, because the tennis player seems to be able to do all thepress conferences. Just fine in playing tennis is not performingdeath, defying flips in the air,...

...so I have a difference of opinion.Gymnastics is not tennis, but then I had this weird itching in mybrain and I was trying to untangle it and figure out why I was bothering me.So I think this is what bothers me, whoever it really does matter. Whoeveris giving the message. You know what I mean so apparently grown white men. Weare not the proper messengers for sympathy. Like no matter what happensto us. We don't get sympathy, it's not for us. You know it's just we're, notthe right people, no matter what they're like Oh suck it up, suck it up, so it feelsoften like we're not allowed to have our own feelings pretty fucked up,obviously, and so in the case of Simon and like yes, of course, she gets thebail out. You know who everyone would love to say: Hey. I just can't make itto work today. A lot of us don't have that privilege, and a lot of us havealso been speaking up about mental health advocacy for years. So in mymind, I was like getting kind of...

...jealous I'm like wait. She calls insick once, but because she's famous and on TV and in the media, everyone runsto her support. Was it because she was famous in in themedia? Was it because she was an oppressed class or a previous victim ofcrime? I'm not sure right. How would I know why the masses do with what theydo regardless it makes me is just as a regular person feel like well, how dowe get any sympathy? How does a regular person get simply? Do we have to becomefamous and do world class death defying tricks in order for us totake a day off, and people notice like? Oh, this person needs help, so I slepton it digested it a bit. It's fine, but also got me wonderinglike: Where is the Line Between Justice and Jealousy? I simply want justice forpeople that don't have the notoriety. Do you feel in me? Do you feel on meand do you follow me? Are you feeling...

...me so that's my whole life is I've alwaysfelt like things that were not fair should be made fair if at all possible,and so when I see that normal people working class people can't get a word in edgewise when theyhave a mental health day. I want justice for everybody. In thatsense, not just the famous people say. Oh I'm opening up about my mentalhealth grapes fucking great, like it like get in line with everybody else. So in that sense I started thinking.What is where what point does justice and jealousy start intermingling, andis everybody that demands justice or they just jealous of what the otherpeople have? That's the real question right there to me are people who demandjustice like myself, really just jealous of what other people have. Let me know what you think if you wantto come on the show, let me know- and I will send you a link and a time to showup with the microphone you don't have...

...to be on camera. Obviously this is aaudio show. I'd love to hear your take on some of the topics we go throughhere and that look forward here and from you one way or another have agreat day talk to you tomorrow and now back to the wall, a.

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