Live from Emo Dojo
Live from Emo Dojo

Episode · 5 months ago

Jealousy feels like / Privileged justice gone bad / High difficulty

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

John shares how he worked through his feelings on Simone Biles, the concept of quitting, mental health advocacy, justice and jealousy. Also, updates on new shows and recovering from some nerve damage.

Song: "Security" by Amyl and The Sniffers

More at johnemotions.com 

Oh, hey you, welcome backto the EMO Dojo. I'm John. This is my podcast. How areyou? Who Are you? Have you been? Hope you're taking care ofyourself out there. So g shock and I found a third person, aguy named Mike, and we're going to split off and finally make our ownlittle podcast, which means now this channel needs a show. So it justgoing to be me talking again, like it's been off and on for years. Hey, cool. So we'll see what becomes of the other one.We are working on like logos and names and things like that, and basicallywe just wanted to be like a three way partnership instead of just the oneguy with the couple other guys helping him type of thing. I don't wantthat. I don't need help. I'd rather either do it this way completelyby myself, or like more like a team work where everybody has different shoresand things like that. So, anyway,...

...wish US luck on that one.I'll tell you more about that as it progresses. Since we are alldrummers, the general theme is probably going to be something about drummers, likea drummer's perspective on life and themes around momentum tempo timing, it said.Oh, should be pretty cool. Yeah, more importantly, whether or not thatsecond podcast succeeds is based purely on the three of our ability to makeit work. That leaves me free to let this podcast here focus just onwhat I'm doing right now, kind of like a hobby podcast adjacent to thework I'm trying to get finished when this case gets started. After talking toa couple of different vocal coaches, it turns out the one nearest me thathappens to also be in my town. He's also like world renowned for thisskill and we got along really well and...

I think that's all going to bekiller. So I locked down with that guy, Shawn Pratt, and we'regoing to be working with each other for like a year to I'm going towork with him towards reading nonfiction books on audible. Might seem kind of boring, but it also seems very, MMM, I don't know, working class orsomething. It seems like a good shore fire way to get into thebusiness if you can do the work. You know you're not trying to belike a big shot trying to do movie trailers or car commercials of things likethat. Work like games or cartoons or things like that. That seems likenext the level. I think mostly rock star voice actors kind of do thatwork. Nonetheless, I listen to a lot of audio books and I heara need for voice actors all the time, which is to say some of theaudiobooks listen to have horrible readers.

So hang around on that journey withme. I also started to think I want to start interviewing people just likefrom my twitter feed or old friends from facebook. Just check in with themand talk about it on a podcast, because then my other friends from theold days would probably want to listen to those conversations and Chim in right andone of my longtime goals had always been like how did you just make anaudio version of your twitter feed? So most of that entails having a solidtwitter feed of just active users, like real people, no bots, andthen finding ones you like can engage with on a regular basis that they startto establish some trust, and then at some point invite them onto the showask them about a specific post or a comment they made on another post orsomething they shared. That seems fun, so I think I'm going to tryto do something like that anyway. No pressure. Basically the I'm not puttingreally a lot of pressure on the artistic part of creating stuff for a podcastas much as just getting on the mic...

...and creating a podcast. Like acouple of years ago I did this thing called the dog days of August,were was basically a podcast challenge where we made a podcast every day for theentire month of August, and I did it. I liked it, Ilike the outcome. It just kind of build your podcasting muscles. So I'mgoing to do that, lucky you. Here's how life was currently piecing togetherthe well, I've talked to my superiors at work and what I do.Basically, I signed up as a salesperson and I've hit my marks as faras number of customers and things like that, which is great, because I setpretty liberal mark, like I set hire marks that I thought I couldget and I hit them. That was good. The issue for me personallyis the forecast that they had made were based on last year's numbers in theindustry. Well, this year, despite...

...me hitting all the right numbers withregards to new customers, the average purchase per customer, where last year itmight have been two thousand dollars is now five hundred dollars, and the averageprice of, say, the commodity we're selling has dropped in half. Sothere's a lot of forces at play that end up with me making way lessmoney than I thought was going to make. That said, the people at workwith the really cool, really nice, and they are supportive of me doingthe voice acting thing on the side as well. So if I needto run and go do some voice acting work, so long as I getmy appointments met and things like that, they're cool, which you can't getthat at every job, and the fact that I would have two jobs thatkind of compliment each other is great because then I get the variety and geta little incentive to stay at one and some more incentive to grow the newventure. So I think it's all going...

...to work out. Okay, stressfulthere for a minute, though. So, so stressful. As a matter offact, I got the shingles. That's fucked up. If you're ina position to get a shingles vaccine, you might want to consider that.It got in my back and my shoulder blades and right now it's in myrotator cuff. And what the shingles is basically at attacks your nerve endings.So, long and short of it, I now have nerve damage in myrotator cuff and I can't lift my arm up all the way, so I'mkind of gimpy and that sucks. The rash is horrible and painful. Fortunatelythat went away and you know, you take the medicine and makes the virusgo away, but the residual nerve damage takes a long time to heal andcure and fix itself and all the while it's tingling. So it's painful.That part sucks and it's really hard to get any sleep because you just thepain wakes you up. You can't take Ibuprofen or anything like that, becausewhat are you trying to do reduce inflammation? There is no inflammation, it's nervedamage. And of course the lack...

...of sleep makes me crazy and angryand a little twisted out of shape. But that said, every day itfeels a little bit better and my first voice lesson with the with Shawn isnot for another month, so I think everything's going to be fine. Ijust need to take it easy and let myself heal and get something done aboutmy shoulder. On the COVID front. I am starting to stay inside alot more. Again, thanks whoever COVID GERMS. Thanks COVID GERMS. NowAnyway. Yeah, I'm going to do a lot more of my sales fromthe telephone right now and just go out and make deliveries when I need to, and otherwise I kind of I can stay at home. Plus Air Condition. It's been hot as fuck outside, boy, like hot and humid,so it might as well stay inside. Yeah, try to stay safe.I go to the supermarket either really late...

...at night or early in the morningwhen there's fewer crowds. Wear a mask. Who wouldn't wear a mask? That'sthe part I get. Well, who cares whether you got a vaccineor not? I'm like, okay, so still wear a mask. What'sthe big fucking deal? I mean, I think I've said this before,but why? Like, if you why? You don't have a problem wearing pants, so why do you have a problem wearing a mask? At leastthe mask is preventing germ transmission, if pants isn't preventing anything except a seniorlittle Dick. So how about that? How about let's switch? You startwearing a mask and you can go pants less. That'll be the switch.You can still have your liberties, we just won't catch your germs and everyonewill see what a little Dick you have. They got people going to concerts.Oh my gosh, I was just watching the Lallapalooza a couple minutes ago. There's just a whole bunch of people there. Nobody's got masks on.That's why I'm standing inside, because if...

...everyone's passing it on to others,than I don't want to catch it. I don't want to catch it thesecond time. Know how first time, Checond time, third time, notime and the okay, so the Olympic thing is what was setting me offearlier in the week, not for the reasons you might think. I don'tknow. I don't even know what you think about my opinion about stuff likethat. So Simone bials right when she pulled out because she couldn't nail ortricks. My instant thought was, I you can't quit, there's no quickteam. Right, of course, because that's that's just how we were raised. That's how I was programmed as a kid. But at being a longtimemental health advocate, I'm like, Oh yeah, yeah, she's entitled toDude, honestly, whatever you want. Let's it's not her job, it'ssince nobody's responsibility. You could just stop anytime. She doesn't know US anything. And then I didn't realize until the other day that she was involved inthat whole Larry Nazar Rape Academy thing.

So that's that trauma growing up asa black woman. Trauma, so much trauma they're already but what really getsme is that she was trying to do like a death define trick effectively.Have you ever tried to do a death define trick like ever? Have youever hung from a rope, like from the outside of a skyscraper? Totallysafe, you know, but scary? If you ever climbed over a candlelever bridge, climbed super high in a tree or up a tower? Howabout a high dive? Just climbs up to the top of the highest highdive e Your High School? If you ever done that? Okay, well, now imagine like twisting and turning and flipping your body and hoping you landthe right way and not landing on your neck and dying. So that,and I do draw a distinction between that and the tennis player, because thetennis player seems to be able to do all the press conference is just fine. In playing tennis is not performing death...

...define flips in the air. SoI have a difference of opinion. Gymnastics is not tennis, but that Ihad this weird itching in my brain and I was trying to untangle it andfigure out why I was bothering me. So I think this is why itbothers me. Whoever, it really does matter whoever is giving the message,you know what I mean? So apparently, grown white men, we are notthe proper messengers for sympathy. Like, no matter what happens to us,we don't get sympathy. It's not for us, you know. It'sjust we're not the right people, no matter what. The like, oh, suck it up, suck it up. So it feels often like we're notallowed to have our own feelings. Was Pretty fucked up, obviously.And so in the case of Simone, and like, guess, of courseshe gets the bail out. You know who. Everyone would love to say, Hey, I just can't make it to work today. A lot ofus don't have that privilege, and a lot of us have also been speakingup about mental health advocacy for years. So in my mind I was likegetting kind of jealous. I'm like,...

...wait, she calls in sick once, but because she's famous and on TV and in the media, everyone runsto her support. Was it because she was famous and in the media?Was it because she was an oppressed class US or previous victim of crime?I'm not sure. Right, how would I know why? The masses dowith what they do regardless. It makes me, it's just as a regularperson, feel like, well, how do we get any sympathy? Howdoes a regular person get simpathy? Do we have to become famous and doworld class death defying tricks in order for us to take a day off andpeople notice like Oh, this person needs help. So I slept on it, digested it a bit. It's fine, but also got me wondering, likewhere is the line between Justice and Jealousy? I simply want justice forpeople that don't have the notoriety. Do you feel a me? Do youfeel at me, and do you follow...

...me? Are you feeling me?So that's my whole life is. I've always felt like things that were notfair should be made fair if it all possible, and so when I seethat normal people, working class people, can't get a word in edgewise whenthey have a mental health day. I want justice for everybody in that sense, not just the famous people say, Oh, I'm opening up about mymental health. Great, fucking great. Like it, like get in linewith everybody else. So in that sense I start thinking it. What iswhere? What Point Does Justice and Jealousy Start Inter are mingling, and iseverybody that demands justice or they just jealous of what the other people have?That's the real question right there to me. Are People who demand justice, likemyself, really just jealous of what other people have? Let me knowwhat you think. If you want to come on the show, let meknow and I will send you a link and a time to show up witha microphone. You don't have to be...

...on camera, obviously, this isan audio show. I'd love to hear your take on some of the topicswe go through here and it look forward here in from you one way oranother. Have Great Day, Talk to you tomorrow. I'm not looking for. I'm looking for. I'm not looking for. And now back to thewall.

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