Live from Emo Dojo
Live from Emo Dojo

Episode · 11 months ago

Thrown out like the trash/ Recycled for needed change/ Gaslight the bonfire


Haiku Show Notes:

Thrown out like the trash/

Recycled for needed change/

Gaslight the bonfire 

Transcipts available at 

What's up, welcome to the emo do jotoday's Monday November thirtieth, I'm johnny motions, so I went to that new job this morning, tcool exhausting if you have a mentaldisorder, try working eight hours, ten ten hours straight, it's fucking hard, but it's what I got to do got to trygot to push forward and yeah. Of course nobody nobody's here,there's nobody to say hey. How is your day at work and then Aga and then you didn't emailme or call me or anything. So I'm feeling pretty abandoned right aboutnow. Yeah, it happens. I know everybody can't like drop whatthey're doing and reach out and support...

...somebody I was hoping somebody might I'm starting to do all my show notes inHicou format. I've always had a fascination withHikou. It's restrictions, five syllables,seven, five there's other forms, but that's the one I'm into intraditionally high cou. Poems should convey the transition of seasons. That's sometimes I well a lot of times.I don't do that, but that should be in there the transition there should besome kind of transition in icou anyway. I like it. So I figured since this showis transcribed anyway. I don't really need, show notes if you want, if you'researching for something just go to the page and hit the little search box, andyou can search every single word in the...

...podcast anyway right so there'stranscriptions. So why make show notes how about to have fun with it? So Idon't think anybody else does their show notes in Hicou format, let alone adaily show with higcoup notes. So basically I have to do a podcast everyday and come up with the new Hicou. As soon as I finish, podcasting HM, it's,a nice distraction have a problem with a abandonmentday. Ithink that's what's making me feel dejected like I don't understand why Iget abandoned like we had like the last guy. I was working withthere just flaked on paying me my kids and I we had to plan you knowwe. I thought we had committed to each other to come. Do a thing here in thisnew town I moved in and now none of them are around. I don't know wherethey are there thet don, they don't say anything to me and therethey're, nothere currently, and I haven't seen him...

...over the Thanksgiving holiday. So Ifeel like there's no commitment there like what what happened to like makinga commitment and sticking through it. I've never been the kind that wouldjust fail a commitment like when I was a kid. I never ran away. I had to bekicked out of the house when I was married. I didn't divorce, my wife, shedivorced me and, like with my kids, I'm I try to reach out. I know mypersonality is me it's a little extra, but you know I'm ethical, I'm not acriminal or anything, but I still feel like therthey've abandoned me. I feel likeeverybodyit's abandoned me. I don't understand why like well, I'm plus I don't now. Idon't trust my own judgment, like the people I choose like in this case th mylast employer. I pick that person and that was horrible judgment. They were,they were disloyal to the cause and they abandoned the project and likedude man up and pay your bills. Like a regular employer or with anybody like,if you commit to a project for somebody...

...or plan, you got a fucking man up, Idon't know not talking in the terms of toxic masculanity man up like that.Just I don't know what other word to use there stand up withhold your commitment. Keep trying persist, nope. Now, I'm stuck doing all the things like. I'm still,I'm like the last one left and most of the plans that II've ever made withpeople like a buddy on mine, wante to start a podcast a long time ago. I'mstill the only one podcasting you know most recently, my kids and I wanted tocome and start a business together. Now the only one still pursuing that thatfrustrates be- and I feel like they've just quit, like who quits, who quits inthe middle of a thing without saying, without like inwordsspeaking out loud saying, the reasons I'm not a mind reader only narcissusexpect others to read mind, and I don't think my kids are narcissist, but theymay have learned that trait from their mom who expects people to read theirminds and when you get it wrong, they...

...get mad. That's just the way. narcissescontrols the environment, but I don't. I didn't expect that from them. Iexpect my kids to communicate in words and have a normal conversation, but I don't hear from them. Th Y, Idon't know what they want to be in life, what they want to do with their lives.I don't know what their vision is five or ten years from now. I don't theyjust don't talk about anything like that with me. It's sad got ta email here, some news, so I crack the top hundred and fifty inNorway Woho. We have one of the top hundred and fifty podcasts in Norway. So, of course, to the listeners inNorway yeah, yes, good, Divagu, Dignamia naled. It do you think, that'sbecause Norway has a bunch of depressed people. I don't know because there's abunch of people from India that listen... the show, so a shoutout to India aswell. I just read a headline this morning that India has one of thehighest rates of depression in their populace of any country in thedeveloped world. So I wonder if there's a correlationbetween a depressed population and the countries that listen to this podcast don't know I'm happyor listening. Idon't. I hope you get some value out of it. Maybe it helps you process your ownthoughts or yeah, something like that. We're justlike! Well, if that guys, that guy could do it. Maybe I should try becausehe doesn't sound that fucked up or vice versa. There's probably people listenin s think to themselves yeah. I guys got fucking issues yeah. I had so much to say and just deflated. I don't really feel liketalking, so I'm not going to waste anymore of your time either, and here I'm just going. Ta Sit in thisroom and be quiet and think about...

...a life. Yes, ENTYCOMESA Croaand, O even love Mor Hay. I can findanetween withe witches, oanyway justand, now back to the wall,.

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