Live from Emo Dojo
Live from Emo Dojo

Episode · 11 months ago

Recent articles/ Show how to support loved ones/ In times of crisis

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Haiku Show Notes:

Recent articles/

Show how to support loved ones/

In times of crisis

Transcripts available at EmoDojo.com 

Good morning, what's up it's about ninein the morning about to head off to my new job, and I wanted to kind of do a splitpodcast like check my mood in the morning and then check it again when I get home or if I don't have theenergy or intention when I get home I'll just post whatever I have righthere, so I woke up you ever wake up in a panic. I get morning, panic it's where you wake up and you're okayThi! It's like I sound sleep, but the moment I start to awake my brain kicksin I'm in a panic like I don't. I just want to hide. Idon't want to face the world. It'soverwhelming! It's weird! It's like it's like on heavy drugs. I don't knowdrugs heavy drugs that I've never even done. I don't know if you've never hada panic attack it. It's fucked up. A panic attack sometimes feels likeyou're having a heart attack. If you don't know the difference and a lot oftimes, people will think they're having a heart attack and go to the hospitaland have their heart checked out to find out t. It was quote unquote, justa panic attack. Ell feels the same, but anyway once you know that your Heart'sfine and you know that it's a panic attack. Then you typically remember topanic attack. It's not that bad, it's still bad, but it's not as bad as aheart attack. You know what I mean yeah, so I wake up feeling like that.Get Out of the shower clean up subsides a little bit, I'm still just feeling I don't know feeling abandonedlike is when people don't feel well or having mental health issues normally,there's others around them to support them and help them do stuff, and thatdoes not exist as it existed for a long time. For me that it'sporadic at bestand haphazard kind of a patchwork like...

...some people have entire families and friends. Youknow networkd together that actually talk together to help that individualI've got a bunch of looseenit individuals who don't really reach out on any regularity, or anything likethat. So I feel just out in space alone, andsometimes I don't even care, then I'm out in space alone, I'm like well fuckit. What why exist at all. If this is all that's going to be that's howthat's how the suicidal ladiation starts honestly, it's like why it evenexist. If this is all that there is and people say well, it's not all. There iswell fuck. I am you know really good at trying new things over and over tryinga new thing see if it works, you know give it a chance to work, move on to adifferent thing: try that, because you have to strike the balance between trying to live a stable life anddeveloping those routines, and also, if that does not work, you have to be ableto move to the next thing to try to find something in your life that works,and I think I've had a pretty decent balance of both of those. But I stillhaven't found what I'm looking for, so to speak, like the Youto Song, peoplethink well what maybe you don't know what you're looking for yeah fucking E.I know what I'm looking for, I'm looking for a companionship someone tojust hang out with that understands me or, if not understands me, lets me beme without trying to undermine my persona, my personality and try to tellme that my person is just wrong. That's not that's completely! I don'tknow it's cruel, like you can't just tell somebody that I don't like youbecause you so I live a lonely life and I go outinto the world and work and people in my work life thinks I'm a normal person,so I put on my little costume and pretend I'm a a working person and dothat. It's not really me! It's weird I feel like I live a life where I neveractually get to be me. I was reading an...

...article about what to do if you are a loved one, how to talk toloved ones when you are worried about their mental health. So it's kind ofreading through and seein thing, these things sound right, the one that sounded the most right wasstay connected. So the main tips and the article werefirst pay attention, do pay attention to your loved ones. If you lovesomething pay attention to it and do what you can so goes on to tellthe different ways to pay attention and it mentions, you know, pay attention tothings you see, but also pay attention to things thatyou don't see like. If you don't see them showing up for work or if youdon't see them, brushing their hair or washing their clothes. If they lookdishevelled, you know, there's if there's things missing or if you seeunusual behavior, that's the lifted ID I've been podcasting with theneurostimulation thing on my head: That's it! Let's take it off. The next thing is to normalizeconversations about mental health, which is what I'm trying to do here.Basically, I mean that's why the subtitle of the show is making mentalmainstream hello but yeah. That's it's it's a two waystreet like I can't be the only one trying to make conversations aboutmental health, mainstream and normal. If all of my friends and family ignoreme, another tip is don't be afraid to talkabout selfharm or suicide. There's been several studies that showthat that does not make it more likely for the person to complete suicide. Sodon't worry about it often times it just opens it up and lets them knowit's okay to talk about and helps them release those feelings and then explainwhy you're concerned, like be specific,...

...if you see somebody in distress thatyou love be specific, say hey, I noticed you walk like way slower thanyou usually walk or you don't you don't look me in the eyes as much anymore.What's going on those kind of things and try not to make it about you, it'snot all about you just ask specific questions about their behavior. Tellthem you notice things about them and what I think the last thing in thisarticle is basically know how you can help a lot of people want to help anddon't know how mtrying to think of what would behelpful for me if somebody came over here to my house, put me in their car and drove me to ahospital check me in with the doctor, make sure I was seen by the doctor. Leave me there if I need to be checkedin and check ing on me a little bit later or take me to the pharmacy and get somemedication or whatever the doctor prescribed for me and kind of hang out with me for maybea couple more hours, so we're talking like a whole day. It's pretty much it'sa long commitment, but it's I'm being specific. That's whatwould help me. What doesn't help me is telling me todo things. I already know how to do that. I've already tried, and since most of the people that try to offerhelp, don't pay attention to me. Normally they don't know. I've alreadytried these things, so that gets annoying and it almost feels like I'm being gas lighted. Call the self helpline call the suicidehotline. Did you call this organization? Did you call that one? Yes? Yes, yes!Yes, of course I fucking I'm an adult, I'm human. I have the fucking Internet.I can look up phone numbers. I can call phone numbers and leave messages. It'snot fucking helpful. I need help like help. Tell him he's to do something.I've already done is not helping so well. I got to get out of herefeeling a bit grumpy...

...outcast. I did my nero stimulation for themorning. got that out of the way got a podcast ten minutes in. If I needit and don't want to do anything later tonight, so I don't know maybe I'll recap theday and you'll hear it but hanging there. Thanks for listening, talk toyou later, okay, there we go Yeahlik, Tadno, Gona thisan that Nday Wen raining inside and ha well through the magic of time.Shifting it's now twelve hours later, it's nine thirty at night, I'm reading an interesting article. Would you like me to read it to you? Okay, good, I'm glad you said yes,because I was going to anyway I'll credit to the author of theArticle Sherry Herd, Aa. It's on the website, learning mind com,learning, hyphen, mindcom, it's a neat article. I just got abouthalfway through it and I realize I shout I got to do the last half of thispodcast. I said I was going to do this...

...morning anyway, so I'll finish. Reading,Let's learn something new I used to like reading back in GradeSchool, because I was pretty good at looking a few words ahead and beingable to read fluidly. I guess I'll do my best. Sometimes I've run into the end of asentence and don't realize how it's supposed to have ended. Oh by the way.This is me reading. It's almost all overbatum. So that's why creditedSherry heard, even though I might sell like I'mtalking. I think I, like the article because she writes like I talk.Sometimes yes, okay seene does family manipulation soundlike a new thing. You may be surprised to learn thatmanipulation can come from. Anyone. Be It partners, mothers or fathers, evensiblings, partner manipulation has become prettycommon. Many people have managed to get away from this sort of abusiverelationship. However, manipulation is prevalent in all sorts of relationships.Apart from the intimate sort. In fact, many people are reporting thatfamily manipulation is also a problem. Mothers, fathers, sisters and brothersare all prone to become manipulative and abusive toward one another, and itcan become a serious problem. Family manipulation is mental, physical,sexual or emotional abuse carried out by family members toward one another. This sort of abuse is generally used tocontrol one another for various purposes. Science point to an unhealthyrelationship having grown up with your family maymake it difficult to decipher any abusive treatment. Considering the components ofmanipulation include brainwashing, it's hard to tell if you've actually beenmistreated at all. Sometimes it's not...

...until you've gotten away or moved outof the home that you realized. The extent of the unhealthy situation hereare some warning signs that family manipulation is or has been part ofyour life lies. You will recognize family manipulationwhen Lis are involved. Family members, especially thenarcissistic kind, will tell lies easily when direct questions are met withvague answers. This is one indication that manipulative lies are being told.Liars will always be able to give half the truths to convince you. They arehonest and reliable people when, in truth, they are only striving for whatthey want. A liar will always lie until more lies to cover the old ones, silent treatment, even family members will resort to thesilent treatment. In fact, the closer you are to some one, the more chancethat their narcissistic actions will display. This sort of behavior silence is one of the manipulatorschoice weapons because it gets the work done with little effort for those who are unaware of thetactics. The silent treatment can garner pity and Grovelly, which isexactly what the banipulator wants. They have one. These selfless disguise truly selfless people are honorable.The manipulator can fool you into thinking that they are selfless as well,but they are really not. They actually have a deeper motivation which includesrewarding themselves and making everyone else think highly of theirquote, outward motivations, which are false, and while people are busy beingproud of the manipulator, they are also falling right into the drap and helpingthe manipulator win gas lighting.

Dysfunctional families are notoriousfor gas lighting. Sometimes you might even find an entirefamily that constantly tries to convince each other that they are allcrazy. The sheer volume of madness president some families is almostunbelievable gas lighting in case you didn't know, is the ability to convinceanother person that they are crazy while taken advantage of them. I bet you've seen sisters or brothersdoing this to each other. Honestly, this is so common. It almost seems likea normal aspect of the family unit. Intimidation, family manipulation sometimes comes inthe form of intimidation. While it might not be straightforward threats,it can still be frightening enough to make you do what the manipulators want.This is what's called quote: Covert, intimidation, which is veiled in a formof kindness and is hard to decipher at times pay close attention to the choice wordsof the manipulator, and these words will reveal their true intentions. Gilt trips, a manipulator, will use guilt trips ona regular basis. If you tell them no, they will find a way to make. You feelbad about putting your foot down. Sometimes, if you ask the manipulatedto turn the volume down on their music, they will turn it off completely. This tactic is used to make you feelbad about asking them to tone something down and will return by takingsomething away entirely. It's also done to show you they havecontrol, and yet you should still feel guilty. It's weird! Isn't it shaming if family members are shaming yourweaknesses than they are being manipulative, for instance, if you have an insecurityabout your weight, a manipulator will...

...make shaming comments about that topic. Their intentions are to keep youbeneath them in order to retain control. If they can retain control, they willfeel better about themselves in turn. After all, manipulators truth be told,have low self esteem naturally and all their tactics are used to fix. That is your family, manipulating you. Let's take this one step at a time. Ifyou've always wondered whether your family was manipulators, you can usethe warning signs to discover the truth. After you know, for sure you canresearch ways to improve your life or get support from others. Maybe you canhelp your love ones in the process. It may be a long road to healing, but it'sworth it. So thank you, Sherry herd. That was aneat article, lots of kind of self evident truths in there for anybody.That's lived in a family which is pretty much all of us right. So let me go through these one moretime. Signs the point who non health relationship ore lies: silent treatment, selfless disguise gas lighting,intimidation, Gilt, trips and shaming, alright. Well, I'm going to try to getsome sleep. You have a killer evening day orwhatever time I'll talk to you tomorrow, good night and now back to the wall.

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