Live from Emo Dojo
Live from Emo Dojo

Episode · 11 months ago

Faking a future/ When you had no intention/ Wasted time now gone

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Haiku Show Notes:

Faking a future/

When you had no intention/

Wasted time now gone

Full transcripts available at EmoDojo.com

It Wa's up it's Friday at the EMO, doJo Friday December fourth, and I'm johnny notion. I read about something I hadn't heardof called future faking. Apparently this is a tactic similar tothe silent treatment or gas lighting, or things like that that unstable people use to control others. Well, this idea of future faking. Ithought about it and I read the symptoms of it and how it works. Prettystraightforward. You basically promise somebody else, a future thatyou never intend to provide and all done with the intent of tryingto control you for their personal gain. So whether it's like you want companionship, you wouldconvince me to like go to Louisiana and help fix the housesright, but really there was no...

...intention to ever fix the houses or you let's go to Oklahoma and start adispensary when there's never actually, no true intention to start a dispensary.It's just trying to control me like providing the idea of a future that will neveractually happen or when I came across this last boss. You knowthe the business he was running is justuntenable so to draw somebody else into that and promise them well like a paycheckon time or anything like that. That's bullshit too anyway, I just kind ofcracked. I snapped. I read about that term and I thought about it and then Iwent and dealt with Thatal, the previous boss and a coupleof other situations and with both friends and family. I just kind of lostit. You know it reminded me of that movie me myself and Irene with JimCarey. There's a scene where I just...

...fucking finally loses it and that's it from the for the from that point in themovie he switches back and forth between his old self and his new self.It's a movie about split personality which I don't have, but I definitelyfeel that that intense, like something's fucking, snapped just I'm fucking over it. I have a life to live and I can't besurrounded by a bunch of like flying monkeys, doing the bidding of othernarcissists. I understand it if you're around a narsassist, you getsick, but if you're aware of your sickness, you have the choice to gethelp or not, and if you decline to get yourself help, there's not much otherpeople can do to help you're just stuck in it, and it's that similar with many othermental illnesses. As, of course, you listen to me complain that I get stuckin my own,...

...but one of them is not narcissisticpersonality disorder. I always feared. I was going to have that because I wasraised in that environment, so I ou ow saw a therapist and I went topsychiatrist and I had different types of therapy to talk my way around andthrough my tramas and it turned out. That's not one ofthe things I have I'm just obnoxious and I like to hear my own voice, butthat's the lot of people here, the term narcissist and they think of someonestaring into a mirror. Much like the Greek myth. You know of Narcisis justpeering into the lake for Evermore, which is why t e the flowers calledthat the whole thing anyway. Whoever was the clever psychologist on the teamthat named arsys personality disorder, that kind of fucked it up, because it'sfar more insidious and damaging than a flower peering into a lake at itsreflection. But once I snapped, I realized that some of the people I wasupset with and that had upset me- are simply sick and don't know yet how toget themselves healed. So I'm not going...

...to be angry at any of those folks,they're just they're on their own as far as getting help, because they havesomething that I can't help with have not equipped to unwind somebody'snarcissistic abuse or damage or trauma from it. So I feel kind of a big burden liftedoff my shoulders. Now that I realized now that came to fruish and like what Ihad kind of felt. But nobody talks to meabout things. So I don't know, I don't know what the words, but you can justkind of feel vibes of people getin given off shitty vibes. That's not hardto do, and you know if you can't get to the bottom of it. You can't get to thebottom of it, but once in a while something will happen that providesinsight into the bottom of it d. it's like Ahha. I was fucking right allalong I've, been deceived all this time, fucking Greap, you know I'm mad for alittle bit, but I get over being mad. It's I don't get over being sad or hurtas much, but if I'm mad fuck it, I...

...don't time to be mad. I'm working onsomething so at this moment right, the second I'm neither sad nor mad, I'm abit uppetdy a little agitated, an AI't bad I'll,take agitated over debressed or disbondent, or hopeless or pissed off so yeah. I'm just trying to take adifferent outlook trying to go opposite day. Whatever I'm thinking in my head,I'm trying to flip it on the opposite and think what, if it's different than, I thinkit is right. Now, that's not to say I'm going to dismiss my intuition. Iwholeheartedly trust my gut. My Gut has never been wrong. It's The Times whereI've suppressed my guts intuition telling me what was right or wrong.Sometimes I've suppressed that for months or years only to be proven rightlater, which kind of makes you wonder. WAS IT t e self fulfilling prophecylike did you get telling you? It was going to happen, make it happen, I'mopen to that philosophy, O that...

...conversation, but in hindsight nope mygut was right every single time, God damn it and I didn't trust it so I'll trust itmore. Moving forward, pick up the pieces and keep going. You know. I camehere for a mission, I'm on my mision, I'm going to stick it through, I'm nota quitter, not stopping, and I hope the serves, maybe as an example for you. Ifyou thinkit about quitting or stopping something or someone was fucking withyour life fuck, it yeah give ut some time heel keep going. If you started ona thing, there was a reason for it and just remember that that reasonstill exists likely so keep going. Like Churchill said, if you're going throughhell, keep going so yeah check that up feel messed withlike if you've been dating a dude for a long time and het keeps promising. Thisfuture, basically, it's a fake future.

He has no intention of providing. You might be dealing with a nars assistright there, just because he doesn't stare in the mirror, doesn't mean hedoesn't have a personality disorder. Somebody who tries to control you bycreating a fake scenario and promise you things that they never intend togive you look into that. That might not be the best relationship for you to bein, but it's pretty fun Y. I go look up future faking all right. Sometime to morrow onSaturday, I'm going to try to hook up with Ken the inventor of lifted theNero stimulation headband hav been trying out and if you', let me willrecord that and share it with you as well. So have a great rest of you,Friday, Saturday I'll talk to you again, byeand now back to the wall.

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