Live from Emo Dojo
Live from Emo Dojo

Episode · 1 year ago

Faking a future/ When you had no intention/ Wasted time now gone

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Haiku Show Notes:

Faking a future/

When you had no intention/

Wasted time now gone

Full transcripts available at EmoDojo.com

Hey, what's up? It's Fridayat the emo do Jo, Friday December fourth and I'm Johnny notions. Iread about something I hadn't heard of called future faking. Apparently this is atactic similar to the silent treatment or gas lighting or things like that that unstablepeople use to control others. Well, this idea of future faking, Ithought about it. I read the symptoms of it and how it works prettystraightforward. You basically promised somebody else a future that you never intend to provide, and all done with the intent of trying to control you for their personalgain. So, whether it's like you want companionship, you would convince meto like go to Louisiana and help fix...

...the houses, right, but reallythere was no intention to ever fix the houses, or you let's go toOklahoma and start a dispensary, when there's never actually no true intention to starta dispensary. It's just trying to control me, like providing the idea ofa future that will never actually happen. Or when I came across this lastboss, you know the the business he was running is just untenable. Soto draw somebody else into that and promised them well, like a paycheck ontime or anything like that. That's bullshit too. Anyway, I just kindof cracked, I snapped. I read about that term and I thought aboutit and then I went and dealt with that all the previous boss and acouple of other situations and with both friends and family. I just kind oflost it. You know, it reminded me of that movie me, myselfand Irene, with Jim Carrey. There's...

...a scene where it just fucking finallyloses it and it's it from the for the from that point in the moviehe switches back and forth between his old self and his new self. It'sa movie about split personality, which I don't have, but I definitely feelthat that intense like something's fucking snapped. Just a fucking over it. Ihave a life to live and I can't be surrounded by a bunch of likeflying monkeys doing the bidding of other narcissists. I under stand it. If you'rearound a narcissist you get sick, but if you're aware of your sickness, you have the choice to get help or not, and if you declineto get yourself help, there's not much other people can do to help.You're just stuck in it and it's that's similar with many other mental illnesses,as of course, you listen to me complain that I get stuck in myown but one of them is not narcissistic...

...personality disorder. I always feared Iwas going to have that because I was raised in that environment. So I, you know, saw therapist and I went to psychiatrist and I had differenttypes of therapy to talk my way around and through my traumas, and turnedout that's not one of the things I have. I'm just obnoxious and Ilike to hear my own voice. But that's the a lot of people hearthe term narcissist and they think of someone staring into a mirror, much likethe Greek myth, you know, of narcissist just peering into the lake forevermore, which is why the flowers called that the whole thing. Anyway, whoeverwas the clever psychologist on the team that named narcissistic personality disorder, that kindof fucked it up, because it's far more insidious and damaging than a flowerpeering into a lake at its reflection. But once I snapped, I realizedthat some of the people I was upset with, if and that had upsetme, are simply sick and don't know...

...yet how to get themselves healed.So I'm not going to be angry at any of those folks. They're justthey're on their own as far as getting help because they have something that Ican't help with. I'm not equipped to unwind somebody's narcissistic abuse or damage ortrauma from it. So I feel kind of a big burden lifted off myshoulders now that I realized, now that came to fruition like what I hadkind of felt. But nobody talks to me about things, so I don'tknow. I don't know what words, but you can just kind of feelvibes. If people get given off shitty vibes, that's not hard to doand you know, if you can't get to the bottom of it, youcan't get to the bottom of it. But once in a while something willhappen that provides insight into the bottom of it and it's like, Aha,I was fucking right all along, I've been deceived all this time. fuckinggreat, you know, I'm mad for a little bit, but I getover being mad at it's I don't get over being sad or hurt as much, but if I'm mad, fuck it.

I don't time to be mad.I'm working on something. So at this moment, right the second,I'm neither sad nor mad. I'm a bit uppitty, a little agitated,an Ay bad. I'll take agitated it over depressed or despondent or hopeless orpissed off. So yeah, I'm just trying to take a different outlook,trying to go opposite day. Whatever I'm thinking in my head, I'm tryingto flip it on the opposite and think, what if it's different than I thinkit is right now? That's not to say I'm going to dismiss myintuition. I wholeheartedly trust my gut. My Gut has never been wrong.It's The Times where I've suppressed my guts, intuition telling me what was right orwrong. Sometimes I've suppressed that for months or years, only to beproven right later, which kind of makes you wonder, was it a selffulfilling prophecy? Like did you get telling you it was going to happen?Make It happen? I'm open to that...

...philosophy. Or that conversation. Butin hindsight, Nope, my gut was right every single time, God damnit, and I didn't trust it. So I'll trust it more moving forward, pick up the pieces and keep going. You know, I came here fora mission. I'm on my mission. I'm going to stick it through.Not A quitter, not stopping, and I hope that serves maybe asan example for you. If you thinking about quitting or stopping, something orsomeone was fucking with your life, fuck it. Yeah, give it sometime. He'll keep going. If you started on a thing, there wasa reason for it, and just remember that that reason still exists. Likely, so keep going, like Churchill said, if you're going through hell, keepgoing. So yeah, check that out. If you feel messed with, like if you've been dating a dude for a long time and it keepspromising this future, basically it's a fake...

...future he has no intention of providingyou might be dealing with a narcissist right there. Just because he doesn't starein the mirror doesn't mean it doesn't have a personality disorder, somebody who triesto control you by creating a fake scenario and promise you things that they neverintend to give you look into that. That might not be the best relationshipfor you to be in, but it's pretty funny. I go look upfuture faking. All Right, sometime tomorrow, on Saturday, I'm going to tryto hook up with Ken, the inventor of lifted, the Nero stimulationheadband I've been trying out, and if you'll let me, will record thatand share it with you as well. So I have a great rest ofyour Friday Saturday. I'll talk to you again by and now back to thewall.

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