John | Podcasting
John | Podcasting

Episode · 1 year ago

Faking a future/ When you had no intention/ Wasted time now gone

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Haiku Show Notes:

Faking a future/

When you had no intention/

Wasted time now gone

Full transcripts available at EmoDojo.com

Hey, what's up? It's Friday at the emo do Jo, Friday December fourth and I'm Johnny notions. I read about something I hadn't heard of called future faking. Apparently this is a tactic similar to the silent treatment or gas lighting or things like that that unstable people use to control others. Well, this idea of future faking, I thought about it. I read the symptoms of it and how it works pretty straightforward. You basically promised somebody else a future that you never intend to provide, and all done with the intent of trying to control you for their personal gain. So, whether it's like you want companionship, you would convince me to like go to Louisiana and help fix...

...the houses, right, but really there was no intention to ever fix the houses, or you let's go to Oklahoma and start a dispensary, when there's never actually no true intention to start a dispensary. It's just trying to control me, like providing the idea of a future that will never actually happen. Or when I came across this last boss, you know the the business he was running is just untenable. So to draw somebody else into that and promised them well, like a paycheck on time or anything like that. That's bullshit too. Anyway, I just kind of cracked, I snapped. I read about that term and I thought about it and then I went and dealt with that all the previous boss and a couple of other situations and with both friends and family. I just kind of lost it. You know, it reminded me of that movie me, myself and Irene, with Jim Carrey. There's...

...a scene where it just fucking finally loses it and it's it from the for the from that point in the movie he switches back and forth between his old self and his new self. It's a movie about split personality, which I don't have, but I definitely feel that that intense like something's fucking snapped. Just a fucking over it. I have a life to live and I can't be surrounded by a bunch of like flying monkeys doing the bidding of other narcissists. I under stand it. If you're around a narcissist you get sick, but if you're aware of your sickness, you have the choice to get help or not, and if you decline to get yourself help, there's not much other people can do to help. You're just stuck in it and it's that's similar with many other mental illnesses, as of course, you listen to me complain that I get stuck in my own but one of them is not narcissistic...

...personality disorder. I always feared I was going to have that because I was raised in that environment. So I, you know, saw therapist and I went to psychiatrist and I had different types of therapy to talk my way around and through my traumas, and turned out that's not one of the things I have. I'm just obnoxious and I like to hear my own voice. But that's the a lot of people hear the term narcissist and they think of someone staring into a mirror, much like the Greek myth, you know, of narcissist just peering into the lake forevermore, which is why the flowers called that the whole thing. Anyway, whoever was the clever psychologist on the team that named narcissistic personality disorder, that kind of fucked it up, because it's far more insidious and damaging than a flower peering into a lake at its reflection. But once I snapped, I realized that some of the people I was upset with, if and that had upset me, are simply sick and don't know...

...yet how to get themselves healed. So I'm not going to be angry at any of those folks. They're just they're on their own as far as getting help because they have something that I can't help with. I'm not equipped to unwind somebody's narcissistic abuse or damage or trauma from it. So I feel kind of a big burden lifted off my shoulders now that I realized, now that came to fruition like what I had kind of felt. But nobody talks to me about things, so I don't know. I don't know what words, but you can just kind of feel vibes. If people get given off shitty vibes, that's not hard to do and you know, if you can't get to the bottom of it, you can't get to the bottom of it. But once in a while something will happen that provides insight into the bottom of it and it's like, Aha, I was fucking right all along, I've been deceived all this time. fucking great, you know, I'm mad for a little bit, but I get over being mad at it's I don't get over being sad or hurt as much, but if I'm mad, fuck it.

I don't time to be mad. I'm working on something. So at this moment, right the second, I'm neither sad nor mad. I'm a bit uppitty, a little agitated, an Ay bad. I'll take agitated it over depressed or despondent or hopeless or pissed off. So yeah, I'm just trying to take a different outlook, trying to go opposite day. Whatever I'm thinking in my head, I'm trying to flip it on the opposite and think, what if it's different than I think it is right now? That's not to say I'm going to dismiss my intuition. I wholeheartedly trust my gut. My Gut has never been wrong. It's The Times where I've suppressed my guts, intuition telling me what was right or wrong. Sometimes I've suppressed that for months or years, only to be proven right later, which kind of makes you wonder, was it a self fulfilling prophecy? Like did you get telling you it was going to happen? Make It happen? I'm open to that...

...philosophy. Or that conversation. But in hindsight, Nope, my gut was right every single time, God damn it, and I didn't trust it. So I'll trust it more moving forward, pick up the pieces and keep going. You know, I came here for a mission. I'm on my mission. I'm going to stick it through. Not A quitter, not stopping, and I hope that serves maybe as an example for you. If you thinking about quitting or stopping, something or someone was fucking with your life, fuck it. Yeah, give it some time. He'll keep going. If you started on a thing, there was a reason for it, and just remember that that reason still exists. Likely, so keep going, like Churchill said, if you're going through hell, keep going. So yeah, check that out. If you feel messed with, like if you've been dating a dude for a long time and it keeps promising this future, basically it's a fake...

...future he has no intention of providing you might be dealing with a narcissist right there. Just because he doesn't stare in the mirror doesn't mean it doesn't have a personality disorder, somebody who tries to control you by creating a fake scenario and promise you things that they never intend to give you look into that. That might not be the best relationship for you to be in, but it's pretty funny. I go look up future faking. All Right, sometime tomorrow, on Saturday, I'm going to try to hook up with Ken, the inventor of lifted, the Nero stimulation headband I've been trying out, and if you'll let me, will record that and share it with you as well. So I have a great rest of your Friday Saturday. I'll talk to you again by and now back to the wall.

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