Live from Emo Dojo
Live from Emo Dojo

Episode · 5 months ago

Intros are too long / Should I stay or should I go / Did Gen X get lost

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Intros are too long /

Should I stay or should I go /

Did Gen X get lost 

John ponders incoming job opportunities while wondering if many of his Generation X brothers and sisters lost their way. More at johnemotions.com 

And just like that we're back.I listened to a lot of podcasts lately and some of my favorite podcast havestarted to drive me crazy because I listened to them. You know, Ibeene listen to them, I guess is the phrase, but they're Intros orlike ten or twenty or even thirty seconds long, and I have to listento the all that bullshit every time. And some of them artificially will cutlike an hour long interview into thirty minutes, so I have to listen half nowand then half a week or two from now. I don't understand.If you have the whole interview in the can just play it, otherwise you'rejust manipulating your audience. Cheez, come on. So that's a that's whatwe're going to go with, you know, because I'm going to do one ofthese, like I said, an episode a day throughout August and maybebeyond, who knows? I'm just kind of giving myself a challenge. Anyway, it's Monday, August second and this...

...is a day two of my challenge. So, like I said, I'm just going to drop in the littlesuper friends sound every time we change episodes, because otherwise it's just going to gettedious to because my episodes aren't that long at all. Could you imagine, like having a minute long intro for a ten minute podcast? That wouldbe dumb. So did you dig that band just now? Oh, Idon't know what order you're listening to. I think I've said this before,but since I'm going to be making a new episode every day for the monthof August, you probably might want to listen to it newest first. Ifthere's a sort mechanism on your ipod or your little playlist whatever, do newestfirst and you'll just hear today's right, it's today anyway. That song youjust heard from yesterday's episode, called security, was by a band called Amil andthe sniffers. They're out of Australia. They've been around for about, Idon't know, several years, probably more than five years, but notmuch more, and I think they started when they were really young, sothey're still young, like in the early...

S. I think they started asteenagers. Very cool. I love that sound. It kind of reminds meof the buzz cocks meets Blondie, I guess. And for those of youwho don't know, back in the s they used to sell this stuff inwhat we call the head shops, where they sold bombs and pipes, butno cannabis. They also sell this jar of some stuff called rush, andrush basically you unscrew the jar and sniff it and it gives you a headrush. Kind of Corny, but you know, we take what we canget back in the days anyway. Amil, that's stuff in that jar called rush, is amial nitrate. So Amil and the sniffers get it. Amilon the sniffers. That songs called security. It's coming out in a couple ofweeks, so keep your eyes out and ears open for that. Ilisten to a lot of music when I'm driving, so I try to savethe good ones. There's a lot of music out there, and not allof its to my liking. When I find things that I think are prettycool, I will for sure share them with you. Here's a dilemma I'vebeen thinking about a lot lately. It's...

...probably part of the thing that stressedme out and gave me the shingles. So I have my like linkedin profileup there and my resume is a normal resume place whatever indeed, and Iget people asking me to see if I could, if they could have myresume, like, will you submit your resume to this job? Basically,so, basically one click away from applying at a new job. So noneof these are jobs that are in my current industry, which I don't thinkI would go do because it's not loyal. But Man, I get so manyjob potential, job offers, let's call them, that I think Imight be missing out on something and I'm wondering if I should just like clickthe yes button, go, yes, go ahead and submit my resume onfile to that job that you've asked me for. What do you think seemsreasonable? I mean a lot of people are changing jobs and everything and,like I've said, this job their forecast for what the sales and the paywould be our way off to what the...

...reality is. But that doesn't meanI should suffer, right, and I am loyal. So I'm thinking loyaltyshould mean don't go work for a similar company in the similar trade, butif I go back to doing something else, like design work, that's not aconflict at all. And I don't know, got to take care ofme too. Since then, you know, they don't look out for me.As far as the pay goes, so I have to look out formy own pay. So, anyway, what would you do? You know, I'm most most of people I know are like yeah, fuck, ofcourse, go apply for the job, get a different job, you dumbass. Anyway, I think a little bit differently. I'm always trying tolike stick it out and hang in there a little longer. But anyway,something one I just a job came up today that look kind of up myalley. I'm like yeah, yeah, actually, that one looks kind ofcool. How much effort should I put into this or how much thoughts shouldI even give it? We'll see. And you know, this whole thingis got me thinking also, like what doesn't get me thinking right? ButI know a lot of people my age...

...that don't work now and have barelyworked most of their lives, like jen x people, and I know ahandful that have jobs, but they don't seem to be jobs that they likevery much. Me, it wasn't something they talked about doing back in theold days when we were friends as kids. Nobody's doing any of those things andmost of the new people I know now don't work at all. Someonewhat the fuck? I like why am I still working? I've been workingsince I was like, I don't feel, like, like three years old orsomething. I used to climb trees and grab mistletoe and bundle it upwith red ribbon and go down to the local kmart and sell it at Christmastime, and that's when it started and I literally did the lemonade stand inall this, always trying to get some independence. You don't get some income, but when you've got mental health issues sometimes it gets difficult to stay ata place that sucks, for example.

You don't have the intention. There'sjust no reason to stick around if something is miserable because, well, it'sjust the way some some of our minds work, you know. But thepeople I'm thinking of are generally I would I don't know. They've never mentionedmental health problem. So either they're hiding them or don't want to talk aboutthem, or whatever, however you want to frame that, or they justhave never looked into it and maybe that's the source of their their misery.And I say misery because a lot of the people I know that don't worknow, that are my age, seem miserable. They focus on the bad. They pretty much just look at the screen, obviously because we're in apandemic and you can't really do a lot outside, but I really start toworry about them, especially I do have handfuls of friends that are successful andthose are the ones. This is really interesting thing about reading this book calledwant wanting. I guess it's about mimetic...

...desire and mimissas, copying others,and one of the interesting ideas is that when somebody has actually been in yourpresence, you've broken through. Now you're in the same world. So Ithink being in Los Angeles and San Francisco, but particularly Los Angeles, when you'rearound and your meeting and you're talking to and hanging out with famous peoplewho are super successful, in your mind you know that that's a that's attainable, that's a real thing. You've seen it, you've been there, you'veyou know all the stuff. So in the in the concept of Mameisis nowthat I know these things are real, somehow I want to copy that.Like I think that's that's a realistic goal, is to do something and be greatat it, and I wonder how many of my friends either think aboutthat a lot or just kind of stuff it. Think about it but don'tmention it. Or if there's other people that do talk about it and Ijust don't, you know, I don't...

...hear from them in particular. Andthere's, I'm talking about you, a couple dozen different people I've known since, you know, great school. So if you're out there and you're oneof those potential in that pool of people, I would like to hear from you. Tell me, like where, what happened? Like how did weget off track? I know I got mentally ill and then got off track, but was I off track and that's what led to the mental illness?You know, is it? Is it cause or effect? which way doesit go? Is it just see, seems like there's so many generation nextpeople and like I've lived a normal life in normal places, I guess you'dcall them middle class suburbs type of places, as a kid and then as Igrew up, I explored cities and the Wilderness and other places. Buteverywhere I go I see these people, I see people like me that justdon't seem to have, I don't know,...

...a solid grasp of what they wantto do. They got like five different ideas of things they could doand like speak of myself as well, because I don't like I don't havethe try, don't trust myself to put it all the you know, allthe bet on one of those things, because I just don't have that kindof support system to take that kind of risk, I guess, and maybethey're the same way, but I guess what I'm getting at is it wouldbe need if we all got together and provided each other that kind of support, became our own support system. And I don't even know where to start. I mean, fuck apparently I fuck up all the time, right,or people lead me to believe that, and no matter how much I apologize, I can't get back in the good graces of people I'd like to bewith. So I end up missing half my life because I'm like, Oh, well, I missed that person or those people, and in there's otherpeople I missed that well, they're like fire. You know, I appreciateit, but I'm not going to go touch it. I'm to get init. Not gotta be affected or get...

...burned. Could deal with that froma distance, you know. I could enjoy some things from a distance andother things I wish I had close by. But one thing that would be greatwould be a social support network of people that all knew each other fromback in the day. And do you have that? Do you have thatsocial network? Did you have it organically, did you have to make it asan adult? I'm curious. You know, I'm in my own head. I assume everyone has a similar life to me and then I see peopleliving similar lives to me, which reinforces my thoughts. But there may bepeople like maybe you. Do you have a support network of people that aretruly uplifting? Like, instead of getting support when I got shingles, Igot basically I needed like three or four things and they all speak to eliminatingthe stress that caused the singles in the first place. Right instead, Igot like a forgiveness. My Mom forgive...

...me for not taking the shingles vaccinationwhenever, a year ago, she doesn't know of like been out of money, not having any medical insurance or a way to get to a doctor fora fucking shingles vaccination. But when I got the singles most recently, mymom sent me Neil says she forgives me, she forgives me, and that special. I wonder if she get forgave my sister for dying of cancer too? Who knows? Parents are fucked up, and apparent I'm a parent, soapparently I'm fucked up. I just don't know how. I don't knowin which way. Like I know I don't know how to tune for itor make amends. There's no path to redemption for me. So I'm justkind of stuck here in space, talking on a mic in the middle ofnowhere. Weird. So let me go contemplate this. Job Requests. Man, always something new to think about. Anyway, I'll go check it out. That's it for today. I'll start scraping together more ideas after I youknow, I'm really still racked up with...

...painted everything and I'm a sleeping maybefour hours and night, which just makes me miserable. So if you detectan angry tone in my voices, because I'm not fucking sleeping. That said, you know I got some I'm not sleeping. I got plenty of timeto do a podcast each day and stay in practice, but I'll try toget some guests on the weekends come up with a list of topics that makemore sense than me just rambling. That said, I hope you enjoyed therest of your day or night, wherever it is. However, it iswherever you are and I will see you tomorrow, August third, and nowback to the wall.

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