Live from Emo Dojo
Live from Emo Dojo

Episode · 7 months ago

Shock starts with pegging/ While Voltage checks his colon/ Hemorrhoids be gone

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Shock starts with pegging/ While Voltage checks his colon/ Hemorrhoids be gone

#SignalJams #Haiku #EmoDojo

A I was Gary: It's just Gary Character. She not sticking anything up. My Ass,let's put it that way. Ol You dnow Wen to get Paig like Ronnie, does on Stern.Absolutely not that's a seventy year old man dude he likes hees off I justwant to. I just want to feel what they feel thatthat's his excuse. He becauseyeah I just want to. I just want to feel what they feel not yeah. I don'tthink it's that weird. It's just not for me like the fact that he does ityeah hat's Yeah Understandi. No, I don't find it weird, as in weird weird,I just find it weird is just like yeah, maybe today I'll take a fucking dildoup my app yes too much, that's just too much too much right. I'm sure I put myfinger up my ass before as a kid you know. Just I got TA ASS. I put athermometer down the tip of my Dick once to so. I'm like Com. What doesthat do? Just? It did Weird Shit. You know when you're a kid you investigateyour body, but now as an adult, I' Lik...

Yeah not too much happen even stuff. Inmy ass, my hamroid was acting up this weekvery Gary Gera. I had had a lot ofthat feeling around this week, yeah yeah, Itold Joi had a Hamrid operation yeah about a year and a half ago. Yeah I didit work fuck yeaat work, dude, Fuck Yeah, Oh my God, so like normalhammeroids on the outside of your butthole people get those that come andgo whatever right fairly tolerable. But then I had like ajust a pain up in my ass, like h, the fuck and so the go way up there. Yeahlike it felt like it was two or three inches up in my ass shit, mine's onmine's, just on the rim, side fuck a motherfucker, but I- and so I guess itjust kept getting bigger and more irritated or whatever irritates hefucking hamroid. But of course I'm hypochondriact, I'm like Oh fuck. I gotthe anal cancer. Oh shit hit hit's got the colon cancer, I'm a gonor, so Ijust fucking went ever to the hospital...

...where I was living up in treevfort andtheyre like yeah. It's good thing came in will be happy to check out going fora colonoscopy and all that stuff, because I did all the other test. I haddone Lik that poop test you can send in your poop and everything. Oh theyanalyze your feces yeah. I did that a that came out fine, but it was they hadto determine if it was a hamerroid now because they're, like is probably justa Hamroid, but we got to see what we're dealing with so they fucking- oh yeah dude they fucking knocked meout to me out out, came some good drugs. Then gasp me Itwas, one of those kindof knockouts where it's like okay count backwards from ten and you get to aboutseven and the next thing. You know it's bright lights. That're like you, cansit up now that kind of knocked out wow wait reminds me ond when I have mywisdom, teeth out exactly that kind of team. Yeah same thing so now, but I was like Oh really, because for one and for one they like, oheverything, went great. You know nothing going on up there. You know wegot rid of the the hymroid is pretty...

...pretty big. We coan see why you were inpain that that's all heeled up and good to go. Come back for regular checkup, not a COLINOSSCA. Belater. You know, GAM o was yours like a constant pain, or did it like com ingand out, like you know, one week, it'll be good. We ol start like that right,but over time it start getting and out right, likepainful O, not nd. I do stuff, like you, know, be active or ride my bike or playthe drums or just whatever, just be active and kind of not be. Therebasically do all of the things that are. You should be doing to not get hamroidsright. They do say, though, that avid bikeriders, if you're not sitting onyour seat correctly, yeah and aggravated Biger Sur for sure, and itstarted to get to that point where, like Ou' just never was comfortable atall and then came to point. Where was always discomfortable and then the highside of that pain was almost unbearable. So my average resting pain was probablylike a four up to about a ten you had...

...resting bitch face dud. I was fuckinghorrorblem. An this can't be am I take me out like if you ever had lower backpain or some shit like that. Ah, I got through pains all the time. Dude, I'm M, I'm always going through pains, but Ijust I just fucking go through it. You know I just I just deal but anyway,when I was done, they cut that fucker out. It was sore for about half a daybut dude. The sore was a relative term because compared to the pain it was itnothing its fucking. I coul at least sleep now before there was not even acomfortable position to lay on your ass, because if you laid on your right side,your left side, you're, squishing it if Youe layitg on your back you'resquishing it had to like, have create a fucking valley for my ass with the likepillows. Yes, Yes for sure so anyway, if you have a way to it or somehow,either with money or to somehow pretend your poor and go get it done throughthe county hospital fuck, I was, it was great to it was sat. It was like a newlight found. I have found Johnny that...

...when I have had these, I guess I'llcall them pain, attacks like literally I've had it where I'm dead, asleep andall of a sudden, I'm just like WHO's. fucking me that'soh, like with Icepick,though yeah like with e ice pick who's fucking, my ass with ice pick. So whatI do now is heating pad seems to work for me, yeah yeah, Ow, on the heatingpad for at least a half hour and yep it definitely an ice swelling down. Youcould do either one like. I don't like ice yeah O for some reason. Colddoesn't work for me. Does the other thing is good. Is epsonsalt baths go,get yourself a vibe bout. You know five pound bag of EPS and salt over at thefucking Walmart or something sure and put a couple of cups in that in a warmbath. You don't have to fill up the bath all the way, just fill it up toyour ass. You know up to your waist or whatever for sure, Soak your butt holeup in that epsinsalt that reduces swelling. That was nice, we'll checkthis out. I have had this problem in my area, for God at least twenty years,because when I had the problem I did go...

...to the doctor. Man They did ColonOscapes, they did so many different things and theyre like we can't findanything well, so you're not dying I'e just going to have to live with. It nowwont tell, but you can go back, so I would bring the Ani Lik go back to anew doctor or whatever, because time has changed and things have justprogressed whatever, but man it changed my life, I'm just talking about thefact that I'm telling this guy I have this excruciating pain sitting down ispainful and he can't find shit. That' just annoyed me, fucking dismissive. Ihad some Nice, India, laiser Indian lady doctor at OsuHealth and report. She was Super Nice Yeah. It was great, but so there wasactually a double benefit, so they got rid of the Thewhat di. You call it the HEM wrid upin my asshole, so that confirmed that that's what the pain was. They said ithealed. Fine, no problem, very common, we're glad your feeling better and alsoyour assholes clean, all the way up,...

...wunt up like five feet: andthin you're,like good, come back. In ten years we went up five feet. We were ticklingyour tonsils yeah. I mean I N. I don't want to hear this. I heard the last farlike come back in ten years. For you know checkup, so I'm like okay, a crossthat off my hypochondriact list, no ass cancer. All right, we sent a probe up there to tickle.Your dude is troubling honestly, like yeah, not to even just be fun of it. Iwould somehow finaggle a fucking way to get somebody up in your ass to cut thatout. It will change your life. How about a Gerbil? Maybe maybe don'tknow, get that animal in there. You get yeah, but it's tough though, becauselike because you'd have to superhide your money and almost create a newalies and just go to like the county hospital, say I'm poor, I have. Can Iget some Medicaid, please or just fucking pay for it, but that could bepricy because you'd have to sign up for insurance and they say. Oh, you have apreesisting condition. Okay, that'S GOING TO BE EXTRA! You know all thatbullshoul probably end up costing you Eightsano Ollars to get it cut out thatdirection. I'm not really sure it's...

...kind of fucked up in America Huh we can't just go, have some shit takencare of but more important to me because I'm O we got to sign papersaway and go how you planning to pay for this yeah with my doze Coiin. We don'twe don't care about your health, you want your money and then your health.We wuld lock that money, that's America because it ICL have now. If we happento fix you, we want you to be on the hook for the rest of your life. Hey wefixed him, that'll be thirty five dolrs a month, please forever yeah. Would youlike the subscription plan ot one time, payment, yeah, wilike us to fuck, youslow off and on or just one big time? Would you like it without the Lube, that's extra...

...and now back to the wall.

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