Emo Dojo™ Presents: John Emotions
Emo Dojo™ Presents: John Emotions

Episode · 1 year ago

Attunement

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

John talks about “attunement” — what it is, what it is not, why it matters, and how we can all get more of it in our lives.

It's all in your head, and now it'sonline ad Vipothis stylecom hers, Joini motions with biphone style, hey welcome back for new listeners, I'mglad you found me and for those of you who have been listening for a long time, happy two thousand and twenty we madeit into the new year and I'm really happy that you're here so enjoy.Today's episode is about a thing. I've been researching, called attunement,spelled att une ment atunement. This episode will talk about what attunementis what it is, not thet many ways you can find positive,attonement and a few ways where you can encounter some negative attunement. Solet's get started kind of create a mood here and after the musical break willstart some talking want to Ta Toeatis Atac to mewhat s aTomere profound right. What does it...

...take to be lows? Nothing at all, so I've been reading alot of books as I do lately over the holidays, I've been reading books aboutattention, deficit disorder, add Adhd, driven to distraction scattered andelastic mind. I think, as the third title. It's neat when you read books,because you can instantly gather the you know, years of research from oneperson and put it in your brain, it's kind of like downloading a new patchwhen you read three books at the same time about similar topics, hat's evencooler, because then you get to think in three dimensions and maybe so somecommon threads between the different books that didn't necessarily exist,but that maybe should since I'm not an author, I'm not going to write a bookabout it. I'm just going to talk about it end again. I'm a lay person so takethis all with a grain of salt, but I think you might like me find that amuch of this just rings true. So in one of the books I was reading, they talked about a really interestingstudy back from the S and into study. They take a mom and a baby, an infant,not just one. You know they did many pairs of moms and infants and they would have the mom interactwith the baby in a room, and then they would take the baby to a different room or the mom whatever they would separatethem on from the baby, put them in different rooms each with a camera so that they could kind ofcommunicate in real time, but through cameras, long ASD short of it that turned outokay in real time. Communicating with people via camerasis very similar to communicating with...

...real people in real life cool. Then they did the Ketd of mixed up twodifferent CER research studies. There was a previous one called the stillface study with which the mob would interact with the baby smile Googu,Gaga, all that kind of stuff, and then the mom would just go blank on purpose.The MOM would make her face blank. If you see any of these videos onyoutube of the still face, steady or still face research, it's pretty disturbing, watching a baby communicate with the mom and then themom's face goes blank. The baby starts doing anything to reanimate that MOM'sface start. Googue got me, it's reallydisturbing. So with the two television study, Ithink that's what it was called the totv study when they they kind ofinserted a time delay, so that the baby would communicate with the mom and viceversa, but on a delay there was no actual synchronization, there's noimmediacy, so the term they came up with was a tunement. I think in today'skind of parlance, you'd call it presente like you should be morepresent in your life, which is sort of it's sort of the same thing butpresents to me, doesn't require other people. You can be present in your lifeand staring at a tree. Well, the tree doesn't care that you're staring at it,but you're present you're. In the moment you just you're present right. Atunement, on the other hand, requires another living mammal. Let's say Idon't think it really works well with reptiles or lower functioning creatures.It May, if you're hippy and by the way, if you're searching the Internet rightnow for the term attunement, you might find it in kind of the crystals andcandles set in that community, because...

...they're all about asunement but they're,talking about organic energy- and you know shit likethat- that that scientific stuff, the attunement I'm talking about, isbasically scientific research to see how humans communicate so just mindyourself if you're out there looking for a tunement so anyway, with the TVswith the TWTV study, what they found was just simply by interjecting a timedelay. It had the same effect on the baby asthe still face experiment. In other words, communicating in anything butimmediate real time is not communicating well at all. You might aswell send a letter pony express you might as well text somebody there's acouple articles o'f reading talking about. Don't you hate it when you get left onred? In other words, you text, somebody, you see that they read it, but theydon't reply. In other words, they're out of attunement. That person justpulled the still face experiment on you. You were communicating back and forthleft and right and all of a sudden they stopped, they broke the atonement andso I'like. Why was I even looking intothis well for one I like to study about how the brain works and I was readingup on atd and Athd, but what got me started on the whole idea. Was thisconstant headline about how social media is bad for thekids, social mediais bad for the kids? Well Shit, I'm generation X, I wasliterally born in Silicon Valley too. At the time all thi stuff came to be so.I've been around computers we used to have to code and basic and C pus, plusand coball all that stuff. So computers are not new to me social media. I wasthere at the beginning. I see its value, but I also wonder like why are so manykids becoming depressed and it turns out? Social media is more. Like HmmCandy, I guess is a good metaphor. Once...

...a child discovers candy, that's allthey want to eat, but you can't survive on candy. You can't survive on socialmedia; in other words, what social media is good for is one thing, butwhat it also does s it pushes out. All of the other things. Yeu Can't surviveon a diet of social media. The same way you can't survive on a diet of candy.You need real human interaction, just like you need salad and water andsunshine. So to convince yourself that socialmedia will cover all of the basis. Is Foolish. You've got to go interact withpeople, the less you interact with people, the less you're going to wantto interact with people and pretty soon you're going to be a social, and youjust going to be stuck so kind of the same way with candy. If You keep eatingcandy, nothing else is going to taste. Good you've got to reset your system sothat the right things, the healthy things, actually taste good or you knowpeople ou, not eating people, but you know what I mean. What the heck are youtalking about, so the idea that we should maybe minimize social media isonly valid to the extent that you fill that extra time with humans like bydoing things but with humans or here's another idea with pets. You can be atuned to a bit, in fact, if you're in the wild, it's a good idea that you beattuned to nature or you will be eaten, but the same whole. True with domesticanimals, if you have a dog or a cat or a bird or anything that like canrespond to you in real time that welcomes you. When you get home thatjumps up on the bed in the morning, you're both in a tunement, that'simportant, that's why people with pets live longer than people whit. Don'tthat's why people with families and support structures have better livesthan people without and don't get me wrong. I'm generally a! What do youcall that independent minded person alone or if you will, I appreciate time alone. I think that'simportant as well.

Another part of the Diet- I guess maybe,if alone time was salt and social media- was sugar yeah. Those things are fine,but you still need actual human interaction. Andi'm like well Jeez. If social mediais not it there's no real time interaction, you post, Tho Post, youhope somebody likes it. You hope somebody comments but they're, notimmediate, I'm thinking well, what cantechnologically advance kids these days fill their diet with. That is notsocial media, but it's still digital and it really comes down to like shat aps, sometimes, but moreimportantly, like video conferencing real time like facetime APPs, like that,where you can see somebody- and you can talk in a video and get a real reactionthat is going to be infinitely better than texting or leaving a post onsomebody's social media stream or wall or whatever you want to call it, andalso things like gaming, onlie gaming, twitch mixerplaces like that. Were you you're involved, you're a tuned, because, ifyou're not you're, going to get blasted out of your spaceship right, some big monsters ging to come, eat youyou're, tuned and you're, interacting with other humans in real time. In apositive way, musicians know this: When you're playing into band you're allfocused on the song you're a tuned most people for the moment that they are inte band playing that song are not feeling the effects of anxiety ordepression there. In the moment they are tuned to the song with the otherpeople in the band same thing would go with military operations, street gangs, ifthey're not doing harmful things, but even if they are doing harmful thingswithin the community, a gang, for example there attuned toone another and they feel that sense of connectedness of togetherness. So somepositive attunements aside from like an this, is also like for people who justdon't like to go out in public. I know...

...many people that listen just kind of get stuck you're stuckindoors, so there are ways like pick up a phone andtalk to somebody. You don't actually have to see them a telephone calleratunes. You can hear people breathe. You can hear them the sound of disgust.If you tell them something that didn't want to hear. You could almost hearsomebody smile if you're communicating in real time through a phone and videoconferencing and gaming and in the band I a jungle with your domestic pets.Those are all great ways to fail: Your Life with more attunement. So if you're,if you're on social media cool but try to add some more of those elements tothe mix- and I think you'll start feeling a lot better, because you'll bea more tuned, you feel like you're part of humanity and then, of course, whenyou've had enough, you can back away from the computer. You know, leave thecrowd or whatever and go be alone sit in the tree swinging whistle whateveryou want to do that's alone time, but it's different. So the attunementfactor is huge, but here's something you have to watch out for there are creatures on this planetcalled narcissists. This suffer from something called narcissisticpersonality disorder and a lot of people with likeborderline personality disorder. I think, in my experience anyway, it'sbecause they were raised by narcissists people with borderline were oftenprogrammed at birth and through their younger years by narcassist, to feelthat way to feel that they just don't fit in, because the nurcisist willnever see a shrink and doesn't have their own needs met, so they use othersas their kind of addictive substance or source like if you areliving with the with the nurcissist you're the source of their addiction.They need you to survive. The problem is narcissister very attuned to theirsubjects to their victims, so what anarcsis will do in the sense ofattunement is they'll, take all of...

...those things they're paying attentionto and use them against you to coerce you or manipulate you. So in this sense,attunement with other humans isn't always positive. You really have tomake sure it's. You know uplifting and positiveatunement as opposed to negative damaging attunement. It's funny. Youknow. If you listen to the show, I don't like him out like a church person,but in testing my theory I'm like well, I felt like Shit, especially around theholidays, where I wasn't super depressed, O kind of push off mydepression until Alf tof the holidays, you know put on a good face and justsmile and make it through the holidays and then come the first week of January.I'm usually pretty big mess, but anyway, in that time frame I kind of like well, I should test mytheory: Is it just being around people? Make you happy? So I went to the Zich.A black church down the street here went and check that up. I was raised inSouthern Baptist churches. So that's familiar to me and I think I like blackpeople more than white peopleat the time so I went down to church and verywelcoming they invited me in open arms. The church filled up, probably man,three hundred people inside the sanctuary area. I had to stand up andintroduce myself in front of all these people, but then we sang and then weclapped- and we listened to the Prescher- give his story. Wel I thoughtwas really cool. Was the the pastor, her preacher? I forget what Baptistcall themselves anyway, the guy in charge up there he started going on with the band. The band was playinglike the little riff little vamp in the background, and the pastor was like hatthose people at Walmart. They calling you out your name and they're gossipingbehind your back and then the people on the audience were like Yeah Pret, yourbrother, breach it and then him being attuned with their energy. He kind offelt kind of like a good comic. You...

...know when you're on a bik and it'sworking- you just go in you double down on that bit, because a comic is a tunedto his audience or her audience. The same way. This pastor was a tune to thechurch audience he would keep up at every time. He gota little better response from the crowd he would double down on that topic. Hewas a tuned, so a belt that built the audience into this, like fervor ofenergy and upbeatin happiness, all attunement, a hundred percent aftom. Hehad the band in a tune with each other. He had the preacher attuned with the congregation, and I was just in the middle of itthinking man, my fucking theory is working and in fact it worked enough. Iovercame I dislike of religion and the crazy stories, and you know the realityis I just don't like religion, mostly because it's full of hypocrites? I holdthem to a higher standard like everybody's, a hypocrite sure, but noteverybody goes to church and pretends they're, not a hypocrite. So that's theissue I have with church, but anyway, all things. Hypocrisy aside, theattunement one finds into church is very, very powerful and I think thatmight be a huge reason. Bhy people turn to religion. It's not for the crazymythological stories is for being around other people. Doing the samething, you'll find the same thing: the same enjoyment at a concert at asuporting event. All these things humans become attuned to the same thing.At the same time, and that's critical, that's why you leave those eventsfeeling a certain way. You can also feel a certain way if you just practicelittle bits of attunement throughout your life every day you know animals,small events, pick up a telephone call and talk to somebody in real time geton twitch and you know talk to whoever other gamers people presentingthings and then on course, on the flipside. If you feel like you're anatunement with somebody, that's...

...nigative and is using it to manipulateor chorus you CURSO, hurter coerse. You then, of course do what youneed to do to remove yourself from that situation, and then so you know weeks acouple months or whatever after a, I feel my head with all thisinformation in theory about attunement. Now I look for it everywhere I go and Imake special notes of places and things that I enjoy being attuned to naturesporting events. I'm a big movie Fan, so I like to see movies at a theater alot of people like. Why do you go to theater? Why don't you just see it oncable? Well, for one I don't pay attention when it's on a small screenwith the lights on with fucking laptop or what all that stuff, I'm just IAVEscatter brain. I need the focus, but then I realized that the moment thatmovie ends all of the other people in the theater and myself. We were attunedfor all that time and we all left with the same experience. So there's lots ofdifferent ways. You can become attuned and challenge you to keep your eyes andears open for things that you feel attuned to in a positive way and alsoguard yourself against any negative attenement that might be used tomanipulate you cool all right. So yeah, that's my whole bit on a tunement. Ihope you enjoyed it subscribe if you haven't subscribed already and if youalready do M. I love you thanks for being here. Look for me on twitter,where I post links to all the things I talk about and talk to you next time,Jo, subscribe to by Poti style on Ijune andspotify, follow along on twitter, he's so stupid and now back to the wall.

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