Emo Dojo™ Presents: John Emotions
Emo Dojo™ Presents: John Emotions

Episode · 3 years ago

Bipolar Style and the Art of Emotions

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

John explains the transition to producing a second podcast, not specifically about Bipolar disorder. After studying more about "labeling theory" John wants to expand his focus on more than just a stigmatized neurological disease. The first draft of this new, short-form, solo podcast was called Art of Emotions, but that has already evolved into an even newer podcast called "Manic Episodes." Depending on when you find this, John may have moved on to bigger things, or faded away altogether.

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It olyandows online Ahes Eot with style. Well, hey welcome to San Francisco. s chilling in the studio was hot today. Excuse me, so the windows are open. Street noise is especially loud today, what it put on some jazz music to kindof cover it up. Little white noise and partiular were listening to CetBaker, Nice Yeah, so anyway, you're probably comingin from one of two directions. Most likelyyou listen to the Bypoland style show...

...and you are used to this intro it only and nowit's online o Thi Esegli with I style, but since these podcasts are going to be alot more frequent and a lot shorter, I figu ered that intro was still toolong and regardless this is going to be a different show. The bypolar styleshow. Excuse me something in my throat the bypolarstyle show is, you know, obviously about things pertaining to people withby poled disorder and life as a bipolar person, I guess is the best way to sayit, but I get tired of being boxed into thatlabel. Bipolo I mean, I think, about a lot of things, so I need another venue.Ideally, the podcast is about lets me...

...share. Elike always have a therapist,but I aways like to get things out into the world with the hopes that somebodyelse might hear them. I don't even need it to be reflected back to me. I justlike to know that somebody heard that it helps me clear out my head and moveon to other things. However, my life is pretty wild, pretty I'm like a feralperson and a lot of the things I encounter in myday today. Life are just not appropriate for a show for people withpipolar disorder specifically and in fact I might freak some of them out andtrigger many people with mental illnesses, but I do encounter and use my emotionsevery day, so I'm going to have a separate podcastcalled the art of emotions. Make Sense. You know my little stage. Name, JohnnyMotions Art of emotions, you get it all right, you're, so smart! So that's thedeal. This particular episode also kind...

...of marks the first of the next set often episodes for bipolar style. So I'm just going to go, insert it there. Soit shows up on your downloads, that's why it lit up and you downloaded thesubscription, but also this shows up now as the firstart of emotions episode over at Johnnymotionscom cool and it's also inlike podcast I'm dirt. It's also in hitunes and spotify in those places too.So you can look up the art of emotions. If you want to hear me rant on theregular basis or stay tuned to the bipolar style once a month before bypolar related, podcast got it cool so well, and that second one here thatsecond little intro this is the art of emotions for the artof. Emotions is much shorter,as you can tell because the episodes...

...are shorter, but I must say I'm stillhooked on my original intro. So please indulge me. Let me play it here, realquick! This is the intra I wanted, but it's like fifty five seconds long andthere's no fucking way. I'm going to have a fifty five second intro in ashow. That's like fifteen minutes. It doesn't make any sense, but anyway herewas the one I'll use this once a season and so to start season three forbypolar style, hes that Intra on Mor time you don't erstand my class Ecuo. I could have been somebody if thet's going to be that kind ofquatim on tink my Pickin e Bat MTUTA. Isn't that awesome? Love thatbut, like I said it's too long, so...

...you'll Hel the short little riftbetween my frequent podcast, the help so hone ofe.The reasons of the second reason I guess from doing podcast aside fromgetting things off my chest, is that helps me practice to speak to pauseappropriately, not say um do whatever there I said Um I could go to toastmasters I would liketo, but I have anxiety issues and it's hard to commit things like that. So I do the podcast and I try topractice speaking this way. Hm Fun. You know it's a hobby, so here's what happened last week, I'llcatch you up to just generically, I'm the director of a non profit and wehaue people that are formerly homeless or...

...poor Vietnam, vets and just those kindof folks andso every once in a while, as you mayhave heard, on the last podcast people die in the building and that particular death I saw lastweek was gruesome on top of it being a suicide. So the whole thing s left melike hmm, is shocked an emotion, HMM, I'm trying to figure out the art ofwhich emotions happened last week, so definitely shocked when I saw the Goredetail of this particular occurrence, and I also connected it with mortality in general, because Saturdaywas my birthday and that always winds me up anyway, because when you havebirthdays- and you have particularly borderline personality disorder- okay,okay, all right when you have borderline, you tend to think everybodyhates you and you do irrational things like wait all day for people to callyou and take you out to dinner and...

...things and nobody ever does, and thenit feeds your kind of psychosist. That's like! Oh everybody hates me, somy birthday kind of sucked on top of that. But you know when Yo connectit,with the mortality and the shock of seing a dude with his face eating off. That's nuts ban that just really threwme for loop last week. So I go through the shock of that then on Saturday andplay the pity party after nobody calls, I mean what did I by call? Oh, my friend from Louisiana Onakacalled, and she left me message and she's sweet, but I mean she's twothsandmiles away seems like probably whatever. However far, that is nobody round like my immediate family,none of them they're all within driving distance of where I am right now Ididn't hear from them. Nobody called nobody sent the card S, no birthdaycake, none of that nothing, I'm like what are they conspiring, of course,not that's kind of paranoid,...

...but what I do think happen- and I thinksucks almost as bad- is that everyone assumed that either I was okay withoutone or that somebody else was going to take care of it. So, like I fuck it,somebody else woul take care of it really like you're so busy. Maybe thatyou guys, if you have a a person in your family, that's sick, maybe have aplan for checking up on them now and then, whether it's for a birthday orholiday or just traditionally or hey, maybe on a regular basis, so they don'tend up dead. Like the guy I found in room three o three, the other week, youknow, come up with the plan. So when nobody checked on that dude for acouple days, he ended up dead in a box like these little rooms are smallthey're like a little box. People live in them and that Du just died in hiswith his puppy in there and the puppy licked his face until he decided to eatit. That's disgusting right, of course it's disgusting, but the fact is. We could all end up thatway and I sometimes I just think that...

...this is the starting of that, likepeople not acknowledging my birthday is the start of that whole thing like thatchapter of my life yeah so next day Sunday, just one out andwent on a cruise out on the Bay SanFrancisco Bay, it was beautiful, it's pretty cold, but the clouds had blownaway for the most part, puffy white clouds. A few of them existed on a youknow: Bright Blue Sky. The water was kind of Shoppy, but youknow the ferry boat went out underneath the Golden Gate took. Some nicepictures got my nature on Filttia, the eons, the ions from the oceanchange. My Body change my mindset and then we got back and did this other funthing Wut we me and whoever else I went alone, but the other people on the boat.With me. We rode this thing called the rocket boat. Oh my God, you guys got toride this thing. If you ever see a...

...rocket boat, they probably have them inlarge rivers and Atlantic city or wherever. You knowthis, this fucking boat that holds about fifty people up in front. But thething is powered with like sixteen hundred horse power, turbo jet enginesunderneath and the guy drives it like Hife, you ever seen those Jetski guysjust get pretty narly on the jet skis and spend th s and dip down the water alittle bit and kind of pop back up a little bit. This dude was driving aboat with fifty of us around the bay like that blasting, like rush and gunsand roses and Bonjovi Yeah. It was pretty amazing so that kind of blastedout my whole bad mood from Saturday still don't knowwhat happened to the mom sent. Er Email asked hem if she's, okay and having herback from her, I don't know what what a deal is. What happene? I hope she isokay,...

...the reason I went out Sunday just because Saturday hnight Saturdaynight on Saturday night, I got I. I was just depressed looking for somethingmotivational to watch on TV and ended up watching the secret to know thesecret. It's basically a rehash of the law of attraction from the early partof nineteen hundreds, and I think it's part of the what's called the news. Thenew thought is just a thought paradigm hundred hundred fifty years ago, where people started thinking aboutthinking and the power of visualization- and you are what you be, you are whatyou think you are and that sort of thing anyway. I saw the secret and itreminded me all about that stuff like visualization and how important it isfor me to keep my emotions if my thoughts in the positive. So that's whyI decide to say Fuckit, I'm going to go out on the bay and shake the cobwebsout of my head and take on a new attitude so that seeme to work prettywell...

...and then all this week since we've got most ofthe the broken things fixed at the at thenew job, things have been going smoothly and yeah think things are generallygetting better. So I don't know side from the dude dying and then nobody shone up for ma birthdaygoing out on the water. That rocket boat really changed things and Istarted smiling. I figure I'll. Just smile I'll, be the happy guy this weekbecause the people around you don't know me as the unhappy guy. So wasn'tthat big of a change, but I was intentionally, smiling bigger andencouraging people and not putting e Shitty attitudes get to me and itworked men. Other people start smiling. It was a good day, yeah yeah. It's all right cool. I appreciateyou listening thanks for tletting me get that off my chests and Watl chat,some more to morrow...

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