Emo Dojo™ Presents: John Emotions
Emo Dojo™ Presents: John Emotions

Episode · 4 years ago

Bipolar Style | John Emotions on Being Shut Out

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

John Emotions rants about how his family abandoned him, even after they all learned of his bipolar. Also, addresses how society harnesses bipolar people when they're manic, but discards them when they get depressed. Day ends on an up note when Maria Bamford replies to his tweet.

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I'm Johnnye motions: This is Bi colar,stop all right! Well, that Ben Harper Song Iput on the end of Bet podcast. Yesterday yeah I got flaged on Faceboop,so in order to keep from being flagged onthe various platforms and just goingto use original music like music, my brother Ray wrote me, and it sounds just like this keep short sweet, but that's the tagfor the show for now I like it. I know it's a little. U Be kind of heavy forfor a lot of people, but it's me kind of heavy for a lot of people anyway.I'd ask you how your day was, but you can't really talk back to me right now,so maybe we should work on that. If you...

...want to be on the PODCAST, I would loveto have you as a guest. The main criteria would be knowing how to useSCYPE. If you know how to use scape, I can get you into the audio mix here andwe can have coose conversations. You can share. Do your whole thing kind of use, the DBSA a model ofsharing where you know you just release, you get itall out and if you want feedback you know the audience can send yourfeedback and warm thoughts or troll you. Maybe who knows this all a grandexperiment, yust trying to connect the bipolar people, all the bipolars in oneplace. So do you guys go to groups? You go to real life by polar groups. I goto one in San Francisco. It's great. I think it saved my life a couple oftimes and I think that's part of the Tart of whatI'm trying to do here is get more of...

...you that listen and that are on theInternet to go to real life. DVSA groups and you know, meet other peoplein real life and since we're kind of like Xman superheroes with super powers,it's way more interesting to talk to other bipolar folks and heartheir stories in person it's emotional yeah. Sometimes it gets pretty heavyand really deep, but everything starts to resonate. So if you haven't been toa DBSA meeting in your town, go to DB s alliance, DOT, Org and check it out. Ifyou want to network with us, you know a kind of more NetworkiInternet type of way, go to bipolar junglecom, just put up a little profilethere and I police that place pretty strongly. There shouldn't be anyshenandigans. I see Yo Committin, shinanigins and Ta Boocher from theGroup...

...and I'm pretty picy and fairlyprogressive, but I'm fair and just but I know whatto expect of bipolar people that are supportive of other bipolar people andthat's the whole key to a podcast like this is really to give a voice to by polar folks that to let the rest ofthe world know we're not super crazy. Just maybe a little bit crazy or maybewel just talk too much could be all of the above. So let me tell oh here'swhat happened today. I was on one of these facebook groups and someone saidpost Ta picture of somebody you miss and I'm like man, because I have aposter like on my facebook there of my kids and their mom so like Jesus, butit just got me thinking that what happens to families when they findout a family member has bipolar what goes through their head when theydecide to like. Let's just fucking kick that guy out of the family, I don't getit, I don't like get phone calls. They...

...don't check in on me the kids, the x,the MOM. The Dad sends me like updates about his life, which is cool. I reallyappreciate that because we actually get along really well, but he doesn't likespecifically call the check it on me. I think he assumes I'm fine, which, forthe most part, I guess is cool, but assuming and actually checking up fortwo different things plus. Sometimes, when my dad sends me his updates, likeI have a special email rule and all the filters stare his email to specialfolder, so I can read them well, apparently that folder was out of viewin my browser little too low. I couldn't see it so I didn't know, iscollecting emails and then in classic dad mode he he starts going after melike, oh so you're, not answering me back, oh You'e, too good for me too,that kind of thing I'm Mie Fuck and then of course now I don't want toanswer him back because now he's pissed and I haven't done anything except notsee his emails. So That's dad, but you...

...know, like I said we get along reallywell, so I appreciate him, but there's not a lot of connection he'slike three hours away and he updates me on his life. You know a couple times amonth, but mom nip don't hear from the kids, don't hear from nephews or auntsor uncles, or I heare from I have my friend Onica from Louisiana. She checks,Om, Oni and but she's, not my family. So I'm like what what kind of familyjust turns a person out because they're sick, I don't get it and it's kind oflike a chip on my shoulder. So as we go through these podcast, you know that'spart of the basis of my attitude really ' like what is SCA such an attitude.Well, fucking e!! that's why whyw would you feel if you got sick and your wholefamily, just bailed on you and turned on R, all your social circles againstyou and just made up all kinds of bullshit because they 're covering forthe fact that you', just you got a mental illness kind of goes back to that that oldthing Iam, always thinking about like...

...society, loves to harness the power of mania inbipolar people whenever we're on we're super productive funny, charming, Ohyeah life, the partio does all this great work Super Smart, leted thatright and but then the moment you get depressed. When the moment you hit thatother side, it's over man, they're fucking out the door, didn't even knowye can't remember your name. THAT'S PRETTY FUCKED UP! So sorry, for thesalty language- but you know a fucked up thing is fucked up is not only wayto say it. That's it's probably fresh in my mindbecause at my last job I was you know, doing really well on my meds.Everything was balanced and kicking ass and, of course, they've taken advantageof that of that talent and then got sick got depressed, fell into adeep, deep cavern. Nobody called me: Nobody reached out.The whole thing was like a sham because...

...the company was like full ofmillennials and preached of humanity and connectedness and community, butthe moment you get sick, they turn their back on you and I found that tobe true with most folks in life. So I'm not just blaming a tech company or myfamily, but seems like society in general. So is that valid or a I just wastingtime? That's the big question right. It probably is valid and it is a waste oftime. So you know some days old things come up a facebook post. You don't know,what's going to hit you, but then it kind of just triggers all thesethoughts and feelings and emotions that you just can't contain. Fortunately, you know you ouploughalong and that's a good thing about having a job that you kind of know howto do an ancomfortable with it keeps you focused and keeps you structuredand thank God today, this week this month, I'm functioning enough to have ajob, because sometimes you know I don't...

...know what I would do without thatstructure, I'm pretty good at creating my own, but man, but I'm superdepressed. There's no structure, th herest, nothing! Just dark! You justcrawl out of bed barely if you can and get drink of water parched crawl backin bed, it's as miserable as people think so yeah. That's that who knowswhat tomorrow brings, but I wanted to bring up a couple of helpful peoplehold on. Let me grab my hye, so the twitter thing is like workingout pretty cool this time. I've done other podcast that weren't as twitterfriendly. I guess, and this one people are digging it. I guess because h maybe the focus is sotight, an bi polar anyway. So I check the leaderboard. If you want to gocheck it out yourself, you can go to bipolar stylecom, leaderboard and ASEA.Diane Harwood is sharing again, Oh and...

...today was her first day doing a podcast.So it's going to be neat to hear how that went. I'm excited for her number two. I am in Radio Onlinethey've done. I A lot like htwenty six earned capital points word, whileStudio Shimoi is still uptop and my friend Mal from Mexico. Is there too soHeymol what's going on and then one super exciting thing, I'msuch a Dorik sometimes happened right before I came on Whel Iwas going through my twitter feed and like I'm always trying to shareUPLIFTIG n kind of entertainment options for people with bipolar thatare relevant and one of the things I shared about was Maria Bamford's show.Lady dynamite and she's also got a new special called big baby or adult baby,or something like that either way. They're both hell funny- and I was justtelling people yeah. You should totally watch that because it's funny it's andshe has bipolar, so that's makes it extra cool and then she replied. So I'mlike yeah, that's awesome! So like e...

Super Fan, boy apparently- and I didn'teven know it so thanks Maria Banford for replying humbly yours, johnnymotions. What do you think about politics? I hate them, but they're everywhere, HM, like every smart person, I know, is on avery specific side of politics in America and probably a similar side ofpolitics in other parts of the world, and I rage in politics in my johnnymotions account on twitter, but I'm trying to keep it off of the bipolarstyle account and just wanted a double check. Is that like does that seemright, so the keep politics out of the bipolar, Stram Yeah? Okay, HMM, okay, no politics! For now I'LL!Try I'LL DO MY BEST! So, okay, we...

...should get out of here, even thoughwe're not going to be able to play like a cool song that encapsulates today'sepisode. You know the episode still shouldn't go too long. I just reallycheck it in with you guys, because I don't like have anybody to check inwith them and you're totally welcome to check in with me. So if you need thatthe I can't hear you like necessarily but let's set up a SCIPE, go to sign upat by polar stylecom Click, the checkbox that says I want to be on thepodcast and then I will hit you up directly it'll. Be Me calling you andwe'l put it together have a cool conversation. So I look forward to that.It's about time for the alarm to ring here. Listen for that! It's the oldtimy telephone alarm like S, pretending somebody's calling me like my mom Yep. That's it it'sas long as I'm going. Nodo it 'not going to podcast for four hours like Joe Rogan. I don'tunderstand why people would listen for four hours.

We could pack a lot into fifteenminutes right and I need to do this daily. It's kindof like a daily. You know confessional, something likethat. It's helpful for me! So ether people like it or they don't like it,but I try to be connective to all those that are helping out so again check outthe leaderboard by polar stylecoms. Last leaderboard sign up to the emaillist to get on. The podcast well have more conversations not using hm like unauthorized music anymore, butwe've got our own better music and that's about it for today ' going to goto work for a couple days and we'll check in say, midweek, cool cool. Allright on behalf of me myself and I that's Johnny Motions for bipolar style.Take Care, BIK.

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