Emo Dojo™ Presents: John Emotions
Emo Dojo™ Presents: John Emotions

Episode · 1 year ago

Crossover: A Look Inside A Manic Mind | Author Brett Stevens discusses his new book

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

First-time author, and five-star Amazon-rated storyteller Brett Stevens opens up about his personal journey toward his own “Bipolar Style” and reads from his seriously—riveting new book featuring vignettes of the various outbursts he recalls with rich detail.

So many people with mania can relate to his stories, and will appreciate this discussion about how his new book, 'Crossover: A Look Inside A Manic Mind' came into existence, and his inspiring plans for the future.

[• COLD OPENING] Via Skype: Brett reads the opening “pizza parlor” story over music from Twenty One Pilots + MUTEMATH (“Heathens remix”)

• CLOSING MUSIC: "Party Up (Up In Here)” — The great DMX

• Buy 'Crossover: A Look Inside A Manic Mind': http://bit.ly/bipolar_crossover_book
• Sign up for Brett's email list: https://www.insideamanicmind.com/
• Email: john@bipolarstyle.com
• Public Voice Message: (337) 944-9333

Allmy friends, Hdan Stak, it o wait. forthe everybody gut the fuck offI've had enough of you all talking behind my back excramed looking out ofhe public crowd. Having Lunch Bat Day at a pack, pizza shop and Textit shutthe fuck up, I yelled even louder as loud as I cook. The place went silent,except for twenty one pilot hetens playing on the pop station. In thebackground, so you don't make any poten moves. You don't know. Thet happiyofyou had the CROWDOF etension five foot,eight white skin black hair, strong bill, light beard. I was wearing shortniky shoes and a soft pshirt that was a gift for my mom. This time. Last year Iwoked around and saw nervous college students, fathers Ao, protect theirwisy young children and restaurants, Taft. Looking for the closest phone tocall nine hundred d one, I took a deep breath enjoying the pieace in quietthat Hadme to get in my world for the last week. They be most Sunshine Seidthrough the window tinding directly into my edes ivtere Yo. Well, haven't Igod, then a brave man about my height shell. By and friendly join me in thespotlight, Hey man, you all right: let's take a walk outside. Herepresented everything I was going to change about the world, this fat fakeworld, then his face transformed, Heeth, growing, intofact and his eyes widingvoice. Deepiit, all the spectators disappeared. He put his hand on myshoulder and in a deep voic felp it out come on man. There are kids here. Ipull the letters that I need tounscramble and the word hear me litup in the sky. This is your World Brat you are. My son now go take it then Iwas back in the pizza place with the crowd of insignificant mortal. I lookedat the man's hand on my shoulder and thrust. My arms forward wit perfectlyutilized force, knocking him back over the table behind him. A chair shiftedand soware dinged. On the floor, a woman shrieked pis cries now aboutthirty men stood up ready to physically remove me from the prenisit. If e ofthem standing in front of the Exit, God showed me an image of myself as a highschool basketball player running sprint after sprints to motivate me to escape,I got low and charged forward towards the door, like the crowd wasn't eventhere, I was met by punches name calling tickisass and the Lou rip of myshirt. Whe are all looking for the fame result. Getting me out of therestaurant. Eventually, our combined force knocked me out out of tha frontdoor and Olto the street. I stood up like nothing. An half and in went aboutmy day with a ripshirt, enjoying the sunlight available to answer. whorkemail, tis needed excited for a blind date that I had plained that evening.Most of all ready to accept the next challenge that God had in store for me, Oline what you just been listening to. Is itexcert from the new book crossover by Brett Stevens as red by Brett Stevhen,so to day, I'm honored to have viascype Brett Stevens welcome Brent thanks forbeing on the show. Thank you very much glad to be here.Your book is excellent. The parts I've read so far for the listener. Pleaselook up breat's book. What's your website again Amanic, something o inside Amanic mindcom?That's it go to inside Amanic mindcom in fact pause this podcast and go dothat right now inside a manic mindcom put in your email address and Brettwill send you a sample of his book. You can also go on Amazon or put a linkdown in the notes and look at all those five star ratings for this book. It'sincredible so, like I said, I'm Otor to have you here and I'm really proud ofyou for completing an actual book and...

...having it published you're. Actually,an author man, congrets thanks thanks FA feels pretty good yeahright how man a lot of people want to write books.A lot of people have bipolar that those two hardly ever connect and both aredifficult, living living with bipolar and writing the book. So how did you come to to put the booktogether yeah, so the book started as more oflike a ertherapeutic exercise, which I think is pretty common when you arediagnosed with a serious illness. Writing down your thoughts, journalingan it, is definitely a very positive activity to do and honestly I've neverreally been a writer before this happened, and I just found that I wasenjoying it and getting a little deeper into my stories and finding ways toconnect, and you know, create more of what actuallyhappens in my wife and I think the biggest thing that had me continue with the writing was I toldsome of these stories verbally to some very close family members that had noidea that this is what it was like and as I read them what I wrote you know itbecame very evident that it was kind of shocking to them. So I figured if I cancontinue to write this and kind of make it to the end. Hit might be able tohelp other people. Definitely and storytelling is one thing, but the wayyou present your stories, I think, is extraordinary. I read tons, I read alot and I have lots of stories over my own and so it's one thing to say: DudeI was in that pizza, parlor and I fucking went off and I just bolted outthe door done right, but you color your stories with so much rich detail thatit's really a treat to to not only to read but to kind of justenvision. You can really feel like you're in that situation. Andto anybodythat suffers with the bipolar impairment will have a lot of empathyfor your stories and probably see themselves in a lot of these stories.So that's why I thought you would be perfect for a show like this, becauseyou know that's what it's all about is showing the rest of the world that weare definitely fun. We can function right, we can function. We just have abit more highs and more lows than the average person so reading that pizzaparlor story in particular it just really stood out to me, the softnest ofthe Tshirt, the you know the description of the kid you bumpd down.How many people were there blocking your exit? Even when you wanted to exityourself? The whole scenario just really resonated with me, and you said you had not written beforeI mean aside from like Ou k, ow high school or college writing yeah and Iy just kind of float outthere, weren't too many edits, and I'm glad you got that kind of experience,because really that's what most of the sections in the book they cover. Youknow that's the opening and it's it's intense, but you'll see as the episodesramjob there's. You know thirty passengers that are very similar indifferent situations, and I'm just glad that you know you took something fromthat: Yeah, definitely and the baseball one. I like that, a lot when you firstdiscovered you had asthma by way of getting you know, dust kicked down yourthroats at that. That sounds miserable, butagain you know not having suffered from asthma. I started to really feel like.Oh, that must be that must suck, and I really felt like you'd conveyed yourthought very accurately and I think a realy cool thing about books like yours,again we're talking to Brett Stevens. His new book is crossover it'savailable on Amazon and probably many other places. So when I read a booklike yours, I think it's even more critical for friends and family of bypolar sufferers to read books like this, because then they start to understandthat you know we can function, we can...

...be on podcast, we can write books. Wecan, you know, do all of these things, but when you read the intensity of someof these stories, I think a la person would finally start to understand thatthere's like there's a different thing happening here, but it's not permanent.You know, like I think, by polar people get classified in the same way as babyschizophrinic people or something and people just think for whaccado allthe time. So I think, showing your book and kindof contrasting your stories then to your presentation now, for example, Ithink, is really powerful not to just bipe pollor sufferers, but the friendsand family as well yeah, and I think too, at the the opposite is true, so youknow we can be perceived as wacky or crazy or dangerous or on the other endit. Oh, you know, you're you're getting frustrated or you know, you're really.Sad. Like your, you know, your mood has been up and down, or someone kind oflike has a natural, healthy reaction, emotional reaction of something that Alyou must be Li, polar or I'm feeling by poor today you know H, t that's justnot how it works and I honestly would not have knownthat until I was diagnosed. I took abnormal Syke in college and reat aboutby Por and had'. You know really, I knew the definition, but that was aboutit. So it's definitely. You know an example ofhow intense and rammed ut my experience was, but then you also see how thatsimilar energy was very helpful in business and in professional poker andin basketball to be successful. So I you know, I can't really complain toomuch and I'm learning how to manage it, and you know hoping to have thisbalance and keep this to Biltyo have now. You know for a very long time,yeah now now that you're diagnosed and you can kind of identify the feelingsand emotions that are involved with bipolar, like I always like andepression to a big dark black oily sunami coming at me, you can see itcoming in the distanch and feel it it's almost here shit, I'm in it. So thedifferent ways to describe that, but in hidsights how how early do you thinkyou had bipolar? Do you think you were born with it? Do you think it developedas a child like? So what are the feelings you felt back then that youmight now ascribe to by polar disorder? Sure, well, I'm very lucky to have had you know two gradparents great family,very good resources growing up, and so really I can only speak to myexperience, which you know I had a very healthy childhood. There was a lot ofcompetitiveness, but between my brothers and I I did get very angry Foru ad times. Iwas able to pot that into basketball as an outlet- and I really wasn't untilcollege, where I even had any consideration of what depression was orbeing medi. It wasn't. None of that was happening until my first episode andthat's where I learned, but something was off in my brain. I didn'tnecessarily have depression or I wasn't able to see thedepression coming. But what happens atlease with me is. I have these veryhigh highs and then I have a very ow eighteen month period of depression tokind of remain stable. So I can honestly say I didn't really see anywarning sins until college and then you o I've had three total episodes and ittook the third one to officially to come diagnosed. So my episode kind ofcame and went without too much reflection or understanding about whatwas Menia. What was the pression? What happened? It was more just like okay, Ikind of overcame that I'm just going to move off my life now and it wasn't til.I officially got to Dagnosit and had tsome major episof. Really, you know living a somewhathealthy life beside just being a little bit isoating stress from work, butthat's when I really start to...

...understand more. What it's about andreally this book is my reflection and you won't see too much depression oryou know, there's not a lot of description about those. You knowqualities of bipolar throughout my childhood, which I write about, but youdo really see them. You know during episodes and dern recovery. That'sthat's a good point like not too many people, there's not too many greatstories into the deepression side of things. I mean I laid in bed for threeweeks and shut all the blinds. That would be my story, and anybody atdepression understands that. In fact, it's hard to to me would be almost impossible towrite about depression while in the throws of depression, except for maybejust complaining or whining on twitter R, something that nobody loves me.Something like that. Do you, or can you share the details of say your first episode,let's say like what was the first thing that happened that made you think Igotto get this checked out. Well, unfortunately, it didn't quite gothat way. FROR me an add of my episodes, one of the hardest things about what Igo through is I have Gero awareness of it's happening or it's ramping up oranything like that. So I'm in school and I'm hearing Meta just from birds, I'm really you know trying to envisionother people's perspectives and I'm looking at all of my college. You knowpeers and students and seeing them in different ways. I'm thinking about I'mthinking of person of the professors are talking about me and I'm not sleeping I'm working out.You know throughout the middle of the night and my brother visited thank gonand he knowthat something was off which led to me being very confused about whyI was leaving school. Why I'm walking into a psych ward? I didn't. I wasexcited to go to the psych word because I thought it was some and you know so so I was lucky. Mybrother brought me into that episode after you know about a week of justintense, you know vivid delusions, allicinations all described in the bookand that that's for kind of like the first episode. I also go into he detailwhat it's like to be in the hospital three separate times, and you knowcoming from a you know: Middlpap Ower, very goodfamily to then you know my roommate h hospital has tried to hang himself or Iwon. You know I was in a straigt jacket and just things like that. So that'swhat I found you know take apart aside from the trauma that you go throughwhat I actually find interesting about the stories. How could this person, wholived a pretty normal high school wife, you know, have friends, brothers,whatever capin the basketball team? You know a year later, I I'm in a straygJack in the hospital. You know those were the main drivers and me wriding.This I had Toco kind of like walk through, went from my childhood to these verydangerous places that I experienced from from being manic, yeah yeah. I'mglad you did. I glad I'm glad you took the time, because what you're sayingI'm sure will wasn't it with lots of people because you're right, sometimesit just sneaks up on you, you don't really have OK, you don't have anyexperience or anything to relate it to see. You don't know. You've heard theterm by polar you've heard people use loose terms like crazy or whatever, butI think when I first it first hit me. I really felt like I was losing my mindand I didn't have a word for it. I just I ended up in Ar Emergency Sychword.Maybe like you and I m, I just told the doctor said I just fucking feel crazy.I just I'm out of it an you know: they start to go through all the. How areyou sleeping datad all that all that stuff? So it is a learning process andkind of, like you, I'd hoped. The psych ward might have been like o some kindof Panasea like Y, ah finally help and no it wasn't like that at all. For me,it felt an IT still does. When I'm having a critical episode. I've almostswear that the doctor's Mo is just to...

...bore me enough to leave they're likeput them in the Wai Oan for like six hours, he'll get over it and you knowsometimes I fucking do because, if you're in the waiting room at a psychemergency, you know unit in a major city, you'regoingto Wa ven want to leave because there are not like mental illnesses, acontest, but there are some seriously fucked ap people in the emergencypsychwards, so it often feels weird as a person that can typically function,except for you k, ow, occasional episodes. It feels strange to be in awaiting room looking through the glass at what appears to be the CUCKOO's nest.So yeah, I'm glad you stuck it through. Did you feel when you got diagnosed?Finally, after the third episode, did that label help you did you feel like okay, cool,have an answer or do you think it stigmatized you I at home me and I'll start like myfirst thought: Wath fear. Okay, I have this thing. I didn't know anythingabout it. So Tho learn ow sod, effecton medication. You know you have doctors,saying you're taking medicin the rest of your life. Now you know and I'm verycompliant. I mean I relisted and was very defensive when I was manic and beingpaken involuntarily into these hosital experiences, but once I knew what wasgoing on, it's like okay, tell me what I have todo. You know. I know I understand, there's no guarantees, I understand allthis stuff, but you know I'm going to do what you tell me to do becauseyou're, the professional and once I got into a routine, I almost I don't wantto say that by por is good in any way, but I just started to feel like this ispart of me and I'm going to live with it and I'm goingo have a happy life with it, and I'm just going to do everything I can andI'm going to accept the time that dangerous or whatever happens. You know,I can't control that, but I did see it as like what the hell is this. What do I haveto do? This is scary. You know if I get a ache in my leg, is that for medicineyou know have to really understand my body and what's happening with themedication and- and you know I've again- I've good doctor so ban thankful forthat too, but once you get that squared away it becomes like like, I can writemy own future and I'm I really don't really. You know see it as you know, mythere's a cloud over my life now and I can't live, I'm I'm looking at itpositively like without it. I wouldn't have been able to write this book orreally understand some of these things, and you know there is a lot of positivethat comes with being able to talk about your experiences and just use it. You know, use it and takevalue from it. That's kind of my goal, yeah. I agree. I felt the same way andin many ways I felt, like my diagnosis, was more of a roadmap like what beforewere earlier before I was diagnosed, I didn't know where to go like I wasdriving around all over left ride up down once you have a diagnosis. Atleast you have especially nowadays with the Internet. You could just go seewhat other people are doing to help themselves and it does provide a lot ofclarity. That said, I don't go around sharing with everybody, I meet Hey,I've got bi, polar and clearly I don't use like a stage name on the podcastand things like that because I still have to work and stigma is real and Damasen, of course, but I alwayslikened it to I mean, like you, see para parot Olympic athletes that aremissing limbs mean they know, they're missing a Limand, they coan either sitand do nothing or they could continue to live their life as best as they canand to that end, like you said just embracing what we have using thediagnosis as a roadmap and moving forward, I think, is such a criticalpart of the healing process of any mental illness. So I' really apblaugeyou for that, especially...

Ti. Now, when Youre I noticed O, so you grew up with theolder any younger brother, you, the Middle Child Yeah. Do I don't want to talk out of turn, buthave a e? Your brothers experience any kind of mental impairments. They have anyanything similar to by polar at all, no they're, both perfect teythey, don'tthey haven't had to deal with. You know mental ownest and tits way, but youknow they they're very supportive and yeah. We all played on the samebasketball, cour and compeat our whole live wat. The same you know no one,there was no disability were playing and beating each other up, yeah theyeah. I guess I'm the one that had to experience these things and they'vebeen supportive. So it's almost geoes like you know, obviously we're not allgoing through it, but they're in there for me. If I need them- and you know I definitely feel like- I havepeople to lean on which makes it e easier forspor. That is so great, it'sso nice to hear when, when I hear stories of sufferers or people with bipolarwhatwhatever, you want to call them having a tight knit support circle andthey've been there since before since the beforetime, you know, so theyreally know you. They know the core of you as a person, and I'm sure they seeis just the thing. And, of course I mean personally speaking, I would muchrather have heard that sir, you have bipolar disorder, then you have cancerand you're going to die of PANCREADAC cancer, and it's six months orsomething like that. You know so right. There was definitely of all thediagnoses we could have had by Pollan was not bad because I'm like wolthere's parts of this. It could actually embrace I'm a creative person,sometimes the Hypomania when I'm still functioning and not quite totally, spunoff the rack. I do lots of great creative work.That's a sympact. Most of my life has been. Oh here comes to Hypomania. Letme go earn a bunch of money right, quick before I get depressed for a yearand go broke, so it's this up and down and up and down an up and down, butknowing that it's not cancer, it's not diabetes. It's just bi polar in my mind,W. I don't want to diminish it to the listener or anybody new, because I knowpeople that are newleu diagnosed are often very sensitive about it, and youknow we understand. I just don't want you think we don't, but there are somethings within the spectrum of bipolar that are useful when you're trying tobe productive, Syeah- and I find it really interestingand I think what separates it from you know a sicknets or something that onlymakes you feel worse. Ot takes your energy, I mean there's a lot of placeswhere you have by Poar I sortof. Nobody knows it and you're actually performingvery well, and you can't see it. So I think I just think. That's like adefinitely like a factor that that I find interesting. Is You know you justwonder: here's here's, a baskwall team wrought our cato. You know defensiveplayer of the year and the NBAA and- and you don't knobody knows a he's bypoer out there. You know some of these entertainers there there by Bor, and itjust shows you that it does allow there, no limitation, youknow if you can get it under order, and it just seems like if you can canfindthat that part of it a special it can actually kind of allow you to findsuccess somewhere, and I don't want to generalize, but that's just what I'veseen and what I've experienced personally yeah same here when I wouldgo to peer to peer support groups like the Depression and bipolar supportalliance. DBSA has peerd Paer support groups. Sometimes I would go on acertain night and almost everybody there was simply depressed, like unipolar depression, not by polar at all. I don't want to say simply depressedbecause depression is fucking miserable,...

...but iwould get in that group, and I'mlike these people, don't get me that I got to find a different group. No, sothere's some benefit to that. The mania, the hyperactivity, the justgeneral kinetic activity in the mind and so yeah I would have yeah. I guessif I had to choose between bipolar and General Depression, I would pick bypolar. It sounds like a weird thing to say, and I don't want to imply that heyby polar stan at all, because the depressions miserable and a lot oftimes, I'm depressed and Manick at the same time, in a mix state which issuper fuck, because I always likend it to like. Well, I'm depressed enough tokill myself and I have the energy to go. Do it right so that that's just miserable tell me about your other hobbies. LikeI noticed in the book, you mentioned music. A Lot. Do you do music or orlike? What's what's the? How do you function your life like aside fromrunning the book? What do you do? Yeah I mean I love, I love music. Idon't play any music, but I just always have it on I'm very into like hip hop,but I like most most other music as well. I play Amachurch Ches, so I playa lot of a lot of chests and I compete once a month for Ukan teamn in my cityand then I think you know I no woman taxtally hold them Wat, something Iplayed for fun during my childhood, but I really got good advice and was ableto do that as my career for a few years, so I definitely enjoypoker and I like teaching poker and training on poker as well. So sogenerally, you know I've had I've never had a job for more than three years atthe same time, and I had a really good experience working for some some gymsand for a startup that did really well so I'm just trying to apply my energyand to to whatever it is and kind of pick it up so right now you know I playpoker as a hobby. I piy chest is a hobby and I run a small real estate companyand I'm just you know, Send Som Tim on this book and I'm actually gettingservice bi a mental health first aid in about a month so that I can hopefullytach some things and actually learn becan, not just like on the job by poorexperience, which is very dangerous. Yes, I want to want to learn. You knowwhat are the essential things that people can take away instead of just mystory that that is Youniqu to me. That's great. I love that well, and Idon't want to put too much emphasis on the listener to be productive. I mean Ikind of have issues with rcapitalism in general. I don't mean it was like. Oh,you got to be productive. Why? Why? If we don't have to why? But I like that,you are productive and I like the way you are doing it you do it similar tothe way I've finally discovered his best and that's having a handful ofthings, you're really good at that you could switch between almost notdepending on your mood. You don't want to like change jobs every two weeks orwhatever. That's not what I'm saying but to be able to both have a kind ofintellectual and creative outlet. You are selfcontrolled schedule like itsounds like you can. You can control your schedule to some extent beingselfemployed being an entrepreneuer. I think that's critical for people thathave, let's call it functional empairments, because the pressure of trying to fitinto society with the forty hour a week, job showing up and having a boss thatdoesn't understand you or coworkers. That wonder why you're always get tocall ind, sick or anything like that. That adds a whole different layer ofstress. So I'm glad that you brought up the fact that you are. You are productive again, notnot that that's everything in the life, but it is important because I think itmakes you feel good. It makes you feel like increases your esteem. It feelslike you can sustain yourself if everything else went to crap yeah, I just yeah. I to you know I was going to say just in terms ofrecovery and stability in general, to I...

...think, there's a way to view yourrecovery as something that you can be productive towards for your own benefit,and what I mean by that, I you know I do a morning routine. You know metapadestretch, breeding exercises, medacine healthy breakfast, you know afternoonis medicine and Briting t besides. Nighttime is breathing actual medicine and, like those are thingsthat don't take very long and anybody can do them and it's a hundred percentis noticeable like I can tell when I'm flacking little good wers is when I'mdoing it, and I think if you know, if nothing else and I'm trying to becareful like, I think I would hope I would hopebe able to send the messageout that, like medicine, is definitely working for me and doing theseactivities as definitely working for me, and you know I feel like they aredoable by anybody and so that you know having discippline if being productivein Tho. There is. I've definitely found a lot of success. My recovery and youstill look at the calendar. You have time and you know work is definitelysomething that needs to happen, but I think you know you take thifteenminutes in the morning every single day or you know, when you can, you seeresult, and you know that is fully in your control. You know when you're upfor it and if you see the value in it, so that's definitely something you kindof like being productive in your own wiover. For, like I found that to be yeah yeah. Definitely that's important,yeah just and to be active to be engaged in your recovery, and I getyour point a lot of times. I'm somewhat flippant, especially ontwitter, and I forget that I don't. I have to say the whole message like, forexample, what you just said about healthy eating and exercising thingslike that. That is so critical, but if you would only say that to a person,that's suffering they would just probably snap back at you and say youknow, exercising water is not going to care my mental illness like we get it.That's not what we're saying we're saying that it willdefinitelydefinitely help in addition to your medicine, I chink say to like my recoveries arepretty unique like I go way up and then I go way down and then I have aconsistent eighteen month recovery. So for me it's probably a little easier tobuild my schedule back and add these things and see over time, because I'mnot constantly going up and down right s tin, ther, to like I'm hailoring. It works for me and I think I'm at anadvantage on that way, because I have these consistent, you know slow incintand that you know that's where this came from style, yeah and it's true,and we can we both gind of hit on this. Similarly, everybody's situation iscompletely different, completely unique and it often takes not weeks or months,but years literally year after year after year, before you start to detectthese patterns and once once you do detect them, then you can manage them alot easier and you start to feel a lot more comfortable with them. So yeah, Ithink, that's a critical point just starting to just pay attention to yourown cycles or patterns, or I'm not sure the best or the medicinal or clinicalway to say that, but just letting it be and not freaking out not panickingabout the fact that you're having an episode, especially once you've, beendiagnosed. Excuse me once you've been diagnosed, you kind of know what it is.You know you're not going to die of that. Specifically, you might becomesuicidal, but you're not going to just die of bipolar like cancer. Going backto that Morbid example. So yeah, so you have. You have esomaces options oncelike there's choices, an option, eventially yeah, yeah and and not toknock suicidality. That's fucking ridiculous as well. I just get so Badadthere. I've been there so many times and the moment I pulled back from it,I'm like God. Why did I get? How did het get that bad, yeah, it's inexplicable so to the listener. We know there aretimes when you're suffering. In fact, if this is one of those times, I'm justlike well just take it five minutes at...

...a time it doesn't have to be an hour attime. Does't even have t people say just take it one day at a time I'm likeI don't know if I'll be alive by sundown. So it's really important just to sit yourstandards and put your goals measure your goals in little chunks that youcan actually accomplish. So you know, like you, said, breathing, that's socritical, it's one of the things I suck at because I get hyper. I get excited an aDi, a all that and then before I know him like a breathethat's right sofocusing and making time to breathe. I'm sure there's lots of APPs peopleput it on their watch, and things like that, so yeah breathing is critical,probably more important than, and I don't mean that, like you need air, butI mean, like concentrated, breathing deep breathing making space for your mind in thatmoment, while You'r breathing, I think it's a a bigger Tal than most peoplegive considerations to right now right seems like an easier whin thancome of the other ways to get Awin yeah it's weird too, because even if you'redead depressed lane in bed, sometimes I'm like. I can't get into the breathing thingright now, I'm just going to roll over here, O just sleeping in the rest ofthe week, Yeah Yeah. Now I get that O. I get that yeah!It's hard, no kidding it's hard, but I'm glad youput it all together since this book, I think, will really establish you as a as a trueauthor. Do you have plans to write more in the future after you collect morestories or once you get certified as a mental health first age? Do you like towrite enough to write another book, so I started writing a little bit more.I wrote about a hundred pages kind of some sort of recovery or what I'm doingnow- and I kind of the interesting thingabout writing for me- is going to ave place where I'm in the scene andthining about what's going on so fortunately, I've been in a veryhealthy place for fora, probably about a year since Ti got things organized,and so I haven't had those like moments. Fori'm like I want to dig back intowhen I was so depressed and what I was thinking feeling and seeing UNSO. Iwrote about a hundred pages, very it's more of like a white type of selfhelpthing t what ive found was. I might just that might just be better and a social media, or you know someencouraging type of thingsis. I can put online I'm kind of picking choosingfrom that, and I have you know unfortunatel.Hopefully I don't have to write anymore hat, I'm trying to say real thik. Itwould take something like that for me to really you know: Go Bel worth it toget back in there, but but yeah. I absolutely want to learn more and I think, as Ilearn more, it might not be a entertaining and interesting writing,but hopefully helpful. That brings up something else. Inoticed in your bio. So when you write in very descriptive terms, there is aword you use for a condition you have that lets. You recall things withexplicit detail. You want to talk about that Real, quick sure it's called hypernedia. I didn'tknow what a thing until I let my doctor actually read the manuscriptor yeah before I was even published and she looked that up and determine likethat. I have that, and essentially it just allows me to recall very specificthing in grade durin times like trauma so, like yousaid before, you know not a lot of people with by por writing books aboutit. I mean I'm sure there are some, but what I try to do was just give you thatexperience and bow out from. I guess that ability that I have toallow you towalk through it with me: The danger, the music, the highs, theloads. So having that condition, it just allows me to recall things ingreat detail and I think I've read a...

...bunch of books on by Por. I think thatis what I thought make this book unique compared to the other ones that I'veread yeah an so by yeah, that' call Hyperneia yeah, I think so too, and Ithink it's what made reading those little vineettes of your stories muchmore engrossing and in I kind of need that for me, when I read fiction ornonfiction of biography type stories, I need that detail. Otherwise it justgets kind of dry. So I thought that was really cool and I couldn't I started to think because I think thatway too, but then I started to wonder: Is that just my creative brain kickingin and making up stuff, but I'm like now now. Let me check so I'd, askfriends or family about old stories and they're like yeah. That's totally whathappened? How? How do you remember that and, like I don't know, how do you notremember it Sii? Just now, I think it'ssupervaluable as a creative writer to have that skill. So I encourage you toto keep writing whatever it is like, even if it's not your story, just tokeep that muscle flex so to speak sore coon. Whathow can people help you, aside from buying your book? Obviously again we'retalking to ere talking to Brett Stevens, he wrote the book crossover it's brandnew, it's up on Amazon lots of five star reviews link is in the notes below so aside from buying your book and kindof shedding some light on to the society about bi polar. How canpeople that hear this help you or find your communicate withyou sure, so you can definitely Co. You canemail me directly, Mi, it's just Ba, even Torty, two GOCOM. We have awebsite, like you mentioned before, in Sadomanic mindcom, we're on Basebook,crossoverlooking sadamatic, mind and then instargram and twitter crossoverunder score book and then breath Stevens on linked in, but I think the one of the things that I think thatthis could be actually helpful for, instead of just being a broad story, is if, if you're, the medical,professional or a teacher trying to help a student or patient or familymember understand what media is or what a Rampup to a manic episode. Whatis it like to be inside of a hospital? A few people that ive handed it to thatare in that? That field have shown it to patience and have been able to explain things in quain terms, notmedical language, that that has been helpful. Sod. Think if you, you knowanyone who is interested and kind of actually using it as a resource to walkthrough an example with someone that might need it. I think that's been thebiggest thing so other than that I mean I'm just Gona, I'm going to get Certifia mental person. I'm going to Reali really have a lot of learning to do tofigure out really how I can help in the way that I'm going to be able to helpin so l, just communicate with me and I'll try to keep everyone posted onwhat I'm doing and then you know the goal here is for me. First, it's goingto be to teach family members and friends how to deal with someone who isgoing through an episode or how to get ahead of it, and that's going to be myfirst goal. I want to just keep it to that so that I can kind of go fromthere and see see where my back in te Di will. Next. That's that's a greatpoint, especially the point about medical professionals trying to reachfor examples to share with their new patients reach no further. You've gotsome free research right here. The books called Crossover when you see allthe random books on Amazon or whatnot look forard looks like a kind of a graycement color background, with a bright pair of Red Converse on the front.That's the correct book! That's bread's book crossover, look through it scanthrough and it's a great kind of book, because you can flip through it andjump to a different story. Do a different story. I don't think it hasnecessarily be read. In Chronological Ord am MI correct.

I think it meant to be in chronologicalorder, but you can definitely get get the meto bet by hi pipping through yeah,just kind of suck at books t. But I D, I love them, but I, like, I tip,typically jump around and I found that to be easy for me as well in yours andyou can kind of sid through hi yeah. The sekongs were written likewhen I ran out of energy. That day. That's that's when the section ended,so it only goes as far as my attention bank and take me so thei, relativelyshort section. I, like that fair. It's perfect! It's not necessarily sort ofthe like the perfect amount of digestible storytelling. I think, andespecially coming from amatic perspective, it's so critical to getthat out there and again reflecting your stories with hearing your voice ona show like this. I think people start to get the idea that oh bi polar, isn'twhat I thought it was th they're, not flaming lunatics. They just haveepisodes and to experience what our episodes look like. That's the thingright there go look at those and honestly, if you see somebody trippingout in public, maybe don't be such an asshole to that person. Do your bestlike, like the Chubby guy at the pizza parlor just do your best to satisfydthe somway yeah in that yeah I mean and for sure. Well I thinkwe've all been there, and especially upon hindsight, we can see that we werethe instigator and some of that, but just the same, I've seen plenty ofinstances where somebody's kind of a little in need. I guess in public and they're,clearly suffering of something. So I would hope that the public would readstories like yours and understand that. Oh He's just having episode like, ifyou see a person flopping around with epilepsy, you know if Youv know peoplewith Apilepse, they say we'll give them some space, you know, make sure doesn'thurt his head or that kind of thing. There's certain things you can do tohelp a person having a episode tackling them, rushing them blockingthem from escape. That's not going to help. So I think, by reading yourstories, the average lay person will be able to better understand by polardisorder in general and maybe even help in a specific instance in the future.So that's that's fucking great man. Thank you, yeah! So well close it out a.We were talking earlier about a lot of people just drop off after about twentytwenty five minutes. So I don't want to go too long for the listener. I thinkwe've got a bunch of good stuff. Do you feel like you've got enough of yourstory out so far? Oh Yeah, yeah for sure, cool cool, soBrett and I met via twitter. We're both on twitter. If you want to followeither of US come on along we're happy to have you, and so far as I can tellwe're both very communicative. If you want to reach out to US personally, goright ahead, we will respond IMSO that said Brett. I reallyappreciate your time. Everybody listening, Brett Stevens CommonSpelling Book is called Crossover. It's available. Wherever you buy books, youshould go, get it read it share it with some friends or better yet have yourfriends by their own copy. So thanks a Gan Brett, and I look forward tochecking in with ye a several months or so how about that sound good to me. Thank you. Right onman. Well have a great weekend. You guys in Brett have a happy holiday,whichever one you celebrate, appreciate you and I wo Forard to talking to you all right, Tanyou, O.

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