Live from Emo Dojo
Live from Emo Dojo

Episode · 3 years ago

Got Bipolar Style? Welcome to the Bipolar Party!


John tries to demonstrate how a mental health peer support group works with the help of his friends at Bipolar Party. Becky ("That B-Word Show"), Bryan ("Bipolar Belief") and John share issues they've had this past week in trying to help their aging parents in various situations. Listeners are encouraged to join our conversation at

Send comments to or leave a public voicemail response (377) 944-9333

It's only and now it's online Biblethis stylecom John Emotions with Bible style. Hey, what's up? This johnnyemotions and this is another dog days of August podcast. However, this oneis really special. My other show, bipolar style, started about a yearago and I put up a slack channel at Bipolar Partycom so that people wholisten to the show could come in and share and just have a place offof facebook and twitter to talk to other people with similar mental conditions and whatthat's turned into. As also found some other podcasters and now we are goingto do a little podcast set up similar to a dbsay meeting, which isthe depression and bipolar support alliance, in which we sit in the group wherethere's only three of us here today, but the we've done it with largergroups, we just did not record them, and we're doing this kind of testto let people listen so that if you are into it, you cancome visit us at Bipolar Party and maybe participate in another on upcoming group that'sjust like this, just recorded for the public to hear how people with bipolardisorders interact with each other. So that said, I said, there's twoother people here with us. I will let them introduce themselves. Started onmy left, Becky, once you go first. Hi, I'm becky andI have bipolar disorder and porderline personality disorder, and that's podcast. That's why I'mhere. Yeah, I told Your podcast you because love I get lotsof new listeners on these dog days of podcasting. So, on top ofthe John Emotion show you're listening to now, bipolar style, becky's got one topromote. Away. Becky's is your Chans. Totally. It's called thatB word and we cover everything from mental health, from borderline personality disorder tobipolar disorder. Add lead. Had somebody with aspergers on recently and I havean upcoming episode about did. This is you have identity disorder. So it'sgoing to be pretty cool. Wow, that's exciting. We talked about thedisassociative thing in the slack channel. That's pretty amazing. Well, apparently alot of us with bipolar disorder also feel the world hates us, maybe likeborderline personality disorder type symptoms, and also the disassociation when you get so stressedout you don't even know who you are. You don't feel like you're you sometimes, so that's awesome, and sitting next to you. All right,this is Brian. I'm I also have bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder.I don't have a podcasts but I am very active on the bipolar partycom.I'm the consider myself the misfit of the... That's such a borderline thingto say. I know in Becky's mind she's all know I'm the MISFIT,and in my mind I'm like no, I'm definitely the misfits, but Idon't know. I've what's that accent? Everyone here's the accent. Where isthat really you hear my accent? I'm I'm from North I'm from North Carolina. It's I'm a red knet from North Carolina. White Trash. Trash isa little rough, but we appreciate you. I love the icon. I comestraight for the trailer park. What part of the country are you andBecky? I'm in Ohio, so kind of the middle of America. I'mon the left side in California. So we've got effectively three white people inAmerica. We've got a left of middle and a right side of the countryand kind of politically speaking, kind of similar to on the left, middleand right over there. So we don't talk about politics too much in ourbipolar party. Just not what we're there for. We all, everybody hasan opinion on that and that's not the normal way we're going to typically introducepeople in Group. I just wanted to let these folks know because Brian alsois going to start a podcast, like he's interested in it, and youcould tell most people don't want to jump up on the MIC. He's alreadygot his mic and his computer setup. So look forward to a podcast fromhim shortly. Yeah, I would expect it, would you think? Ithink so. I just need to organize my thoughts and make sure I haveenough contact to put something out there that people would be interested in. Yeah, or do like I do, just talk even if people aren't interested.Also, it's the greatest thing ever join the party at bipolar PARTYCOM. Okay, so now let's pretend we're actually add a dbs a meeting. Brian,you've not actually been to one, Becky, you have Right, and I've beento the online okay. So, yeah, I'll play moderator and Idon't have a script. We're not actually a DBSA affiliated group in any way, but they're the typically read a bunch of rules in the beginning of thegroup. The one thing that I think is important to reiterate on the podcastand to listeners. When you're in a group setting like this, we're nottrying to fix the other person. I'm not trying to help you. I'mnot a therapist, I'm not a professional, amout a doctor, etc. Sowhen somebody shares their opinion, I'm the shares their perspective or shares theirtrouble. When we respond to them, we use what's called eye language,and I don't mean your eyeballs, I mean using the word I. So, for example, if if Joeys said I'm having a problem with my exwife, she won't let me see the kids that at all, my responsewould not be have you done this? Have you tried this? Have you? Have you? Have you had you know what I mean. I'm nothere to fix him. He's not.

I'm not to grill that person.The way to respond in this kind of group setting is hey, joey,it was my experience when my wife didn't let me see my kids, thatI did X, Y and Z. So when we say eye language.That's the best way to reply to a group. It's not as big ofa deal with just three of us, but when there's ten of us itmakes a big deal because everyone's trying to fix the person who just shared.It kind of gets out of control. Right. So let's introduce ourselves,not the long way, like the way we'd normally do in a group islike, hi, I'm John. I had a pretty good week. Ascale of one to ten, I'd say it's about it, seven and ahalf, and I would like to share later. And then you go Becky, okay, Oh, and I got me now. So just you justsay basically like what I said. You said, Hey, I'm Becky,I had a pretty good week or and then whether or not you want toshare. Yeah, well, I'm becky and I've had a lot of upsand downs this week and I will probably share later. Probably. All right. Hi, I'm Brian and I I've had some ups and downs this week, because I don't really want to rate myself my week, but I'm goingto share later. Okay, excellent. So it looks like we have threeshares in today's group and unless somebody has an urgent share, we will starton my left and go clockwise. So, Becky, tell us what you liketo share today. Well, it's just it's been a crazy week becausemy my mom has had started to have seizures and using the car accident,and so that kind of puts me in a difficult mindset. I guess I'vebeen having trouble with suicidal thoughts and Ivigation and yeah, that's kind of what'sbeen going on and I don't feel like there's been any I mean, thereare people that I can tell and things, but I don't feel like I'm beingheard. I guess I don't know, but you know, I'm safe,I'm not doing anything, but I just don't know what to I don'tto do about it. I have similar issues when my parents are in distress, because I'm not really sure what to do. I don't have the toolsof the resources to help them. MMM. And it also brings life into perspectiveslike way, when they die,... much as they get on mynerves, I won't they won't be there to even help me, like Idon't feel that they help me much now, but I'm sure they do. Youknow what I mean? I just not processing it properly or something.But yeah, when they're in distress it makes me feel helpless and hopeless.And once if yeah, what, I don't know the details of how howyour mom's condition is making you feel. I just know, like one ofmy mom or my dad or in that state, I really just feel helpless. So I'm am sorry push you off to the suicidal ideation area, becausethat always sucks. Yeah, it does. It's it comes up a lot.Yeah, in my experience when I've had this suicidal I aviations, Iit, Gosh, you just don't want to you don't you don't want todo anything. I mean you just want to lay in bad and salt.I guess I don't know if Salk's a right word, but so I knowwhat you're going through. Becky. Thanks. I feel that when yeah, it'sthe I think it's the hopelessness that is that what it feels like toyou. Is because a lot of times when I feel the suicidal ideation bithmm or even yeah, it's more of a I don't want to kill myself, I just want everything to end. It just it. Sometimes things feelso hopeless it's like, what's the whole point? I'm so tired, I'mso exhausted. Can it just please stop? I'm wondering if there's a God,can you just take me out so I don't look like I killed myself? It's right so wanting to end this feeling more that. There's never likeI want to punish them for the way they treated me, like the thirteenreasons why kind of bullshit set up on Netflix. That perspective, my suicidalidiation never looks like that. I would never blame somebody else for the wayI feel. I feel the way I feel because I it's hopelessness. It'sthe way I've added up all the parts in my own head. That feelshopeless. And yes, and and as I just hope when people here thatwe talk about suicidal ideation a lot of times. From almost all the peopleI've talked to in the group, nobody ever wants to punish the living.Nobody. It's never a selfish move. It's like I'm it's hopeless. It'sa you feel so vacant, so pointless, like I'm just taking up food.I'm just, you know, shitting up the river. I'm just,I'm a waste of life. Why I'm I even on the planet here?Let me help society by removing me from the equation. I know when I'vebeen suicidal. Like you, hear these horror stories about get up hitch hikers, you know, and I actually pick up a hitch hiker one day,hoping in my in my head that he would do something to end it soI wouldn't have to do it myself.

Yeah, I know that feeling.That's what you're talking about. Yeah, it's like putting yourself in dangerous situations. When I was in Los Angeles downtown, I used to go jogging through skidrow and to the point where I was thinking I'm going to get sometshirts that likes a skid row jogging club or something like that. You knowwhat I mean. But the whole idea was like I'm just running through skidrow because maybe I might die here, like maybe, Oh, the whiteguy got killed in skid row. I don't want that story either, butI was wonder like why do why do we put ourselves in dangerous situations ifwe're not somewhat suicidal? Is it purely adrenaline? Is it is an adventure, or is it just trying to fight? Like you know how people cut themselvesor or harm themselves or scratch themselves to feel like real, to feelif they're real. I wonder if we do the same things by putting ourselvesin dangerous situations just to feel something besides hopelessness and emptiness. I think so. I think that's a lot of what it has to do with it.Maybe we should go to amusement parks more often or something. We should feelthat void was something more uppet. That's why, that's why I and mymania and suicidal. I mean, I think you can have both the sametime. For sure. I'm you know, I drive my car like a maniacand go a hundred and something miles per hour to see how fast Ican go, just for the just for the kick of it. Yeah,you know right, and I feel the same way. I think I'm atmy biggest danger to myself when I'm in a mixed state, because I havethe depression enough to pull me down and make me think everything is hopeless,but I also have the manic energy to follow through, to like to godo something, to make something happen. Yeah, it's tough. I don'tdon't like to talk about too much because I don't have my own answers,even when I get to that situation because every every time I get to thatpoint it's a different situation and for everybody, every human, it's a different situation. So it's hard to say like this is what will save your lifethe next time, because I don't, I don't honestly know. That sucks. Feeling today back you feeling better like now than even an hour ago?Yeah, I'm feeling okay today so far. Yeah, it's a really yeah,well, it's Saturday, though. That's always helpful because there's no pressureto work. I mean you could always UN find yourself a little bit,right, like you said, maybe go see a movie or something later.Yeah, I think going out and just something, kind of paradoxically, goingout in something, something by myself. Yeah, yes, it's like meditatingor just tell, you know, some me time, whatever they want tocall it. Nice. Well, thanks for sharing now, B r.If something more sure, I'm sure. I I've been you know, mymeds. I'm on a couple different meds that helped me with my depression.I don't know if is this the place... talk about meds? Fu Yeah, dude, people love talking about mad just the one connective thing when yousay I'm on Sara Quell or I'm on the mittel. All of a suddeneverybody that listens that has bipolar disorder instantly they're like, oh, yeah,I take that. You know what I mean. So by all means,talk about your meds. Well, I take Trintalics, which I don't know. I've heard it's an antipsychotic. I've also heard as an antidepressing. Itcould be used for both, but it was. It was helping, butit wasn't helping enough, and so they put me on a bill if Itoo and it made me emotionless and just this week my I've been noticing fora while, Becky, at this is kind of goes along with what yourmom's going through. My Dad, my dad's mental stay has gone down andI'm gonna get I'm gonna get weeping now. And I live, I live withmy dad and he I have to do everything for him and it's hard. It's hard to be dealing with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder and alsohad to be a care taker for an now the early person. So Icall my brother, and I've called my brother a few times this week andjust broke down crying because I don't I just don't know what to do andthat's not something I normally do, is cry. But it's been it's beentough. Are you okay now? I don't mean like, are you okaytoday? Yeah, I feel a feel okay today. I feel I feelgood talking about it. Yeah, it's weird when you hear two dudes talkingabout it. Like even the way I just said that, are you okaynow? It almost sounds like are you done crying? Are you done?Let you know? I didn't need that. I didn't hear that. We don'tsound like that now. We need to come like that. Okay,good man. That that's rough and I have the same situation. My sharewas going to be about also taking care of my dad, so I don'twant to trudge too much on that on yours, but I definitely feel thepinch of being, quote unquote, the sick one in the family. ButI'm in the middle now. I'm the Middle Age one. I have oldparents now that need caring for and I also have kids now who still needcaring for and there's nobody here to care for me and they're there. Hasn'tbeen right. That's how I got to...

...this place because nobody cared for me, and it's really troubling on many levels. Just physically. It's exhausting to tryto care for somebody when I'm exhausted myself due to depression or whatever's goingon that day. I never feel appreciated because of the borderline maybe, ormaybe because nobody really expresses the appreciation. It could be a little of both. The whole. You know, just because your paranoid doesn't mean people arenot following you. It's the same thing with borderline. Just because I haveborderline doesn't mean some people don't appreciate me. Doesn't mean some people don't actually hateme. That I found people that hate me and that don't appreciate me, and it's not the borderline. So and that's also troubling too, becausethe way we present ourselves, a lot of people just think, oh well, you're not sick, that's why you have to do all the work,that's why you're doing the care take and you're not sick. And like Motherfucker, how do you know how I feel? Right it's that and just putting onthe John Suit, just trying to be me every day. That's fuckingexhausting, so much so I really feel for you. Dude. I justand Youtube back. You have to deal with your parents that way. WhereI right? I wanted to share to my abilify. They have to giveit. Give it to me an injection I had about ten years ago.I had gasser bypass surgery and I lost a hundred fifty pounds and so it'sbeen a struggle with meds because I don't, I don't, I don't absorb themeds like I used to, like I should. The way they theway they do, the way they used to do. The gas your bypasssurgery is they they make your stomach really small and also shorten your intestines,and so that's how you absorb nutrients. So I'm bidermin deficient and I alsoam med deficient. So my Med's don't work as well as they would ona normal person. So they had to adjust my med so I take mymeds multiple times a day instead of once a day. So that's just alittle, you know, interesting tidbit of information. Yeah, it's another kickin the ASS. Right, let me just that one more thing. Forpeople that don't have any kind of mental condition to realize that dude's got totake meds all the time. It's like a clock. You got the littlepill box, you got all these things. Were like normal middle aged people.We shouldn't have to be on eight hundred pills, but yet if youwant to stay functional, there's a whole regiment you got to go through.It's ridiculous. What's the true relics? I've never heard of that. Isthat a different name? It's just got the brand name on the bottom onthe bottle. So I don't I don't...

...know. I know one of theperson who takes it. I want to ask it my next group to thatsounds interesting. I think that's one of the newer ones, like the oneyou're on. You're on vrail. Are Right Y, like, yeah,that's one of the new our ones too. Are you still like it and stillon it? And I like it and everything? Where did they swappingfor Lamittel or something else you used to be on? I did. Usedto be on the MITTEL and I was not all of them for a whileat the same time, but then I recently got off the limittel. Thinkon us. I don't feel like I was doing anything for me. Yeah, after a while I felt the same. Like most of the MED's eventually losetheir efficacy on on me. I don't know if they ever worked orwhatever, but yeah, it's not bad to change. I just do itunder a doctor's care. Yeah, actually, I just looked it up. TrintAlex as is for. It's for it's a nat how to present.Oh, that's why I don't well, that's weird. They maybe it's onemeant for Maatic people, because you know, they they rarely give antidepressant straight up, any depressants to bipolar because they say, well, I'm on that. Yeah, I'm on lithium to for looking intabilify. That's a whole otherset of work right there too. Yeah, there's a lot of monitoring that goesinvolved with that. Right, you have to. You have to worryabout your thyroid. This is the thing, you know, I was watching theyI live a lot in downtown areas, tons of homeless people and I seehow hard it is for them to be homeless, how much work theyput out to be homeless, and the perception is homeless or lazy. ButMan, these people go through so much work, physical labor, just tobe homeless. Dragging your bags around everywhere all day, get kicked out,sleeping on hard cement, Dott a diet. Well, it's kind of the sameway when you're sick. Like when people, when we have depression orsomething, people think, Oh, you just depressed, you just lay aroundall day. Well, Snow, listen to all the work we have todo. There's so much work involved right being sick, with scheduling appointments andfighting the bureaucracy and getting payments over to their and then, and then thepills. Oh, and then the pharmacy. Are they're out of it, arethey? Don't? You know they don't support that pill anymore or things. It's always changing. You never have any peace, or I never did. It's well, you talk about taking taking pills multiple times of day.I actually have an APP on my phone that shoo shoots me a reminder.It's kind of annoying actually, but it gives me a reminder every time Ihave to take my medicine. Does it give you like a little gold coin? Che like a game? I should fill take it should game a fivepill taking. I mean, if that's the will, people love Games.Yeah, so wouldn't hurt if you got little coins for it, right Hey, dude, you play fucking scrabble or anything like that? Do you playwords with friends? I did, but I felt real dumb. So Wolfall right, because becky and I are always add it over there. Justprobably beat me at most of the time... buy see one. Like everygame will get one lucky word. That's all it takes is one lucky wordand that's all it takes with anybody. But I'm not always the one whogets the lucky word. I'm probably the least competitive person you you'll meet.Like, I'd rather as Ather. What's your sign, dude? When you'reborn, I'm a verger. Well, yes, okay, I see that. He'll do it. I'm an aries. I'm like, I can't not compete. I'm like, just keep going and Leah. So that explains it. Yeah, Leo's the same way. All My best friends are Leo's andmy son's Leio. My son was born on my wife's birthday, so mywife was a Leo when I was married. Leo's. See, the reason Iget along with Leo's is because areas are one of the few signs thatcan tolerate Leo's. But their fight the fire sign to right during first signs. Yeah, we're just more nuts, but in Leo's we everyone lets Leosthink they're in charge of everything, and Leo's are happy with that because theyactually think they're in charge of everything and the rest of the world's like that'sjust a Leo. Just let him think they're in charge of everything. Hethinks this, ha ha, that's funny. Now I mean literally. I meanbest friend in high school, best friend now, ex wife and firstson. That's four Leos surrounded by him. Oh, my best friend that Igrew up with like in my set, in my s too, he wasa Leo also. Yeah, it was amazing how many Leo's that arejust surrounded with them. It's because they're awesome. Well, it's it's becausenobody else will hang out with them. That's what hey, but nobody elsewill hang out with me either. So that's kind of the thing. There'sthe only thing worse than Leo's like the areas that's like fuck that guy.Whatever. Okay, I'm going to share to before get we get too longhere. Okay, did you get enough out, Brian? Yeah, so, and then the moderator comes around back to me and like okay, John, so all right. Well, I had this issue again with my dad, and I don't say again with my dad. Don't have like a lotof issues with him, but, like like Brian and Becky, Dad momisss you. So my dad has been care taking this property up at LakeTahoe for years. Nice property is beautiful, right on the lakes. Anytime Iwant to go get away from the city, I go there. It'sfree. I love it and he loves it. He's a retired x cop, x vet kind of Guy Living on a fixed income. Well, heloves it there. And the guy he care takes from his super old,like in his nine s and about to die. So, my dad,you got to figure out something to do. You can't just wait until life happensto you. Should be proactive and make a plan, because he's goingto die, they're going to sell the property and you're going to have tomove. And his whole thing was like, oh no, maybe they'll keep meon as a caretaker and at it.

I'm like, Dude, they're noteven going to keep the property like this. If somebody buys this isgoing to get flattened and they're going to build a condos here. Get Real, like you're older than me, you should know this. If how doI know it and you don't? Anyway, he ignores it. Sure enough,they sell the property. He's got a move by the end of September. That this just happened this week right, like told you. So fortunately,I had him come to the city a couple weeks back and show themI have a spare bedroom. I'm like, you can stay here, I runthe hotel. I could hook you up with a with the room.You know, it's like a hotel you can live in. So I canactually hook him up whatever. He's like, Nah, I can't. Citi's notreally for me, as I get it, because it's fucking grimy.You know, he lives in a beautiful, Pristine Lake in the forest and Ioffered him an apartment near Satan's asshole. It's just totally different worlds, Iget it. HMM, so he doesn't like this idea. Now he'sgetting kicked out. So I get this long you know, those emails fromyour parents are like super long paragraphs, about five of them stacked up.Email like Oh, here it is, here's the email, and it's sohe's basically running down his plans. Well, he's going to get rid of somestuff and go store some stuff there, and then he used this really bizarreterm. Then I may go mobile, right. HMM. All right,so I don't know what going mobile to you means, because I havedifferent terms, like couch surfing. To me would be staying at a friend'shouse and then maybe in another house or whatever it's. ME, going mobilemeans living in your car. What do you think? Maybe where our Vor something like that? That's what I was thinking, an RV, right. But since he doesn't have any of those things, I'm like how,what is this mean? But you know what he does have is he hasmy fucking suburban up there and Tahoe, because I don't park it in SanFrancisco because it's three hundred fifty dollars a month to park. So I don'tneed it. I ride the subway, in the bus, in the liftand everything. I keep my suburban up until home. In this email he'stalking about selling his old beat up pickup truck and going mobile and and I'mbecoming incensed as I'm reading this email. Unlike, am I overreacting, oris this fucking guy talking about taking my new truck? I just bought andI'm OCD. I don't like anything in my truck. I like it clean. I don't want I don't even want anything in the glove compartment. Ijust fucking super OCD. I'm like, I even took all the badges offthe truck. It just simple, right clean. I don't want to buyfucking in it. I want to buy fucking living in it. Nothing likethat. And when I get this email, it's under my skin now. I'mlike, just fucking guy assuming he's just going to take my truck andgo live in it. Like, what the fuck is this? So I'mjust wondering if my feelings are valleys and, if so, how much, orif you would react differently. I...

...would, you know, I thinkthat I would probably be, maybe not quite as incensed, but perturbed ifsomebody just assume that you're going to take my stuff and he's it for theirown devices. You know what I mean? Right? That, I can see, you know, I can see the point in there. And againthe dynamic. Remember, I'm the sick one. I'm like, people shouldbe helping me, and now I've saved the money. took me fucking foreverto because I don't buy things on cred I saved like thousands and thousands ofdollars and bought the truck out right. And what? I'm just going tolet it sit there and he's going to deteriorate it by living in it.Would you have done anything differently, Brian, or like? How would you respond? Um, I think that I would say something to him, offerto sell it to him. Just say, Dad, you know, the titleis in my name. If you want to buy it from me,we can transfer the title. I have a problem with being passive aggressive,right, and so I would I would try to make a conscious effort notto be passive aggressive. Okay, here, well, I'll tell you how Ireacted and we'll see if it was right. Because, yeah, itI don't know. I'm tired of being taken advantage of. I'm over it. I'm like past that chapter of my life. So I just send hima quick email, because he can. He conveyed this to me in anemail, so I always feel it's fair just to communicate in the same mediumback. You know what I mean, m so I just send him aquick email, I said, because he outlined his plans and I said that'sall great, period let's not make any assumptions about my truck. I likeit empty and clean. It's not for living in period. That's it.Sent them the email. Seem reasonable? Yes, I think so. Itturned out to be reasonable. Apparently he send it back. Oh Yeah,I understand about your truck. That's fine, I didn't plan on living in it. So maybe you know. Maybe he thinks mobile is couch surfing.Maybe his I'm going mobile is couch surfing. Maybe we just use different words.So I just want to share that. Like, even though I kind offeel like I overreacted, it was only in my head. The overreactionwas in my head. The part that eventually came out filtered turned out tobe the right words. Like I said, don't be passive aggressive. Just addressit directly and I did the best I couldn't worked out okay, sowe'll see. I'm not sure what to do with favor now. Maybe maybehis idea of going mobile is to move...

...into a mobile home. Yeah,well, he's waiting for some vet housing to open up up there in themountains where he lives, and that he has options. They're just not he'snot sure of the time frame. God, I don't think I would have wantedto lead. Yeah, it's there's no work there. I'm a I'dlike to do things. I like to engage with people and work on projectsand there's nothing to do. You want build the camp fire? Okay,done, that's yeah, that's the project. It's pretty funny. Yeah, butI guess is that the presumptuousness of or the way he said it?I don't know. Anyway. So that was that. That was my bigthing of the week. I had other ones, but I'm over it.I was the ones that with the family, always hit me the hardest and theclosest ecent. It really. Yeah, so sensitive about that stuff, becausethe thing is, like, I know he doesn't have any extra money. If I offered to sell it to him, he couldn't. Baybe there'sno money for he can't buy it from me. The Best I could offerto do is like sell it and give him some money. Just straight uphere, have some money, go buy what you can with that money,and I'm going to buy something to use in the city or whatever. Brightand then I'm like, well, why should I do that? I don'tknow. And then I started thinking, Oh, I don't even need atruck. anyways, when I just sell it and buy a Badass computer andsome more podcasting gear. So I mean, I can buy a lot of stuff, but I like yeah, and then my dad's a whole. No, no, we need the truck. And am I? Who is we, motherfucker? You're up there driving it around. I'm never in it.But I don't want to be a dad. That's what it all just all getsdown to. I just don't want to be Dick. He's like,it's my dad's like, well, why don't you help you dad? I'mlike, I'm helping him as much as I can. I gave him anice truck to use over the winter time, and that a dad. But justjust because you give somebody something doesn't mean that they can keep taking andI felt like it was leaning towards that. Situation. is becoming a slippery slopeand I'm glad I nipped it in the bud succinctly and without blown afuse too much. Yeah, anyway. So that is how a group works, and thanks for Becky and Brian. Thanks you guys for making it seemreal and sharing your real things. Thank you. Yeah, here are hostingand everything, and so remember, for anybody listening still to the days ofpodcasting, go search out that B word. It's a podcast with Becky from Ohio. Let's me, yeah, talking about borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorderand all of the other connective tissues, and shortly we'll hear from Brian inNorth Carolina when we get him on his own podcast as well. In themeantime, you can meet up with all of us at bipolar PARTYCOM. Justtype that into your browser, you'll see a place to request a link andthen you can go download the slack software or APP or whatnot and hang outwith us. It's basically a safe place for us to share and commiserates andyou could see and you could see the...

...misfits and action. Yeah, yeah, you can. You can hang out with all of us who feel likewe don't fit in with the rest of the world because of our borderline personalitydisorder. But if you feel that way, then check it out. Maybe youmaybe you have a personality disorder and he just didn't know it. We'rehappy to walk you through those things and welcome you aboard to your newfound knowledge. All right, guys. Well, have an awesome Saturday. I appreciateyour time. From San Francisco, I'm Johnny Emotions and we will see younext time. Styles on I cheese follow. Excuse me.

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