Live from Emo Dojo
Live from Emo Dojo

Episode · 3 years ago

Got Bipolar Style? Welcome to the Bipolar Party!

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

John tries to demonstrate how a mental health peer support group works with the help of his friends at Bipolar Party. Becky ("That B-Word Show"), Bryan ("Bipolar Belief") and John share issues they've had this past week in trying to help their aging parents in various situations. Listeners are encouraged to join our conversation at BipolarParty.com

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Send comments to comments@bipolarstyle.com or leave a public voicemail response (377) 944-9333

I andos online iitstylehey, what's up thiis johnnymotions, and this is another dog days of August podcast. However, this one isreally special. My other show bypolar style started about a year ago, and Iput up a slack channel at Bipolar Partycom, so that people who listen tothe show could come in and share and just have a place off of facebook andtwitter to talk to other people with the similar mental conditions and whatthat's turned into as also found some other podcasters. And now we are goingto do a little podcast set up similar to a DB SSA meeting, which is thedepression and bipolar support alliance in which we sit in the group. Werthere's only three of us here today, but the we've done it with largergroups. We just did not record them and we're doing this kind of test to letpeople listen so that, if you are into it, you can come visit us at BipolarParty and maybe participate in another on upcoming group. That's just likethis just recorded for the public to hear how people with bipolar disorders,interact with each other. So that said, I said: There's two other people herewith us. I will let them introduce themselves started on my left Beckyonce you go first hi, I'm becky and I have by polardisorder and pertaline personality disorder and that's Buto. That's why I'm here yeah a tellhim your podcast Yo, because Lov I get lots of new listeners on these dog daysof podcasting, so on top of the Johnny Motion, show you're listening to now bypolar style, becky's got one too promote away. Beckysis your CS totally.It's called that Bword and we cover everything from mental health, fromborderline personalityty disorder to by POA disorder. Add we had somebody withaspergers on recently, and I have an upcoming episode about. Did this IEOF identity thisorder? So it's going to be pretty cool wow, that's exciting! We talked aboutthe this associative thing in the slack channel. THAT'S PRETTY AMAZING! Well,apparently, a lot of us with bipolar disorder also feel the world hates us,maybe like borderline personality disorder, type symptoms, and also thatthis association, when you get so stressed out, you don't even know whoyou are. You don't feel like your you sometimes so that's awesome and sittingnext to you hi. This is Brian I'm. I also have by POL disorder andBorderlam personality disorder. I don't have a podcast, but I am very active onthe bipolar partycom.

I'm the I consider myself the Messfitof the group. That's such a borderline thing to say I know in Becky's mine she's, all noI'm the misfit and in my mind I'm like no, I'm definitely the missfanbut. I don't know I've. What's that accent,everyone, here's the accent. Where is that? Really you hear my accient, I'mI'm from nor I'm from North Carolina? I I'm a Red Nack from North Carolinawhite trash trash is a little rough, but we appreciate you. I LOVE THE AC com. Icome straight from the trailer park. What part of the country are you inBecky, I'm in Ohio, so kind of the middle of America, I'm on the Leb sidein California, so we've got effectively three white people inAmerica, we've got a a left, O middle and a right side of the country andkind of politically speaking kind of similar toon the left middle and right over there. So we don't talk about politics toomuch in our bipolar party, just not what we're there for. Well, everybodyhas an opinion on that and that's not the normal way, we're going totypically introduce people in a group. I just wanted to let these folks know,because Brian also is going to start a podcast like he's interested in it, andyou coan tell most people don't want to jump up on the Mike He's already gothis Mike and his computer set up so look forward to a podcast from himshortly yeah. I would expect it. What do you think? I think so. I just needto organize my thoughts and make sure I have enough contect to to put something out there that peoplewould be interested in yeah or ul. You do like. I do just talk. Even if peoplearen't interested 'Salsom, it's the greatest thing everjoin the party at bi, polar PARTYCOM, okay. So now, let's pretend we'reactually at a DBSA meeting, Brian you've not actually been to one becky.You have right. I've been to the online okay, so yeah I'll play moderator, andI don't have a script, we're not actually a DBSA affiliated group in anyway but they're. They typically read a bunch of rules in the beginning of thegroup. The one thing that I think is important to reiterate on the podcastand to listeners when you're in a group setting like this we're not trying tofix the other person, I'm not trying to help you, I'm not a therapist, I'm nota professional at a doctor, etc. So, when somebody shares their opinion,N shares their perspective or shares their trouble when we respond to them.Wel Use what's called eye language, and I don't mean your eyeballs. I meanusing the word I so, for example, if, if Joeiy said I'm having a problem withmy ex wife, she won't. Let me see the kids tat at it it all. My responsewould not be. Have you done this? Have you tried this? Have you have yourheavyou ha? You know what I mean. I'm...

...not here to fix him he's not I'm not togrill that person. The way to respond in this kind of group setting is heyjoy. It was my experience when my wife didn't. Let me see my kids that I didXy NDZ. So when we say iy language, that's the best way to reply to a group, it's not as big of a dealwith just three of us, but when there's ten of us at makes a big deal becauseeveryone's trying to fix the person who just shared and it kind of gets out ofcontrol right. So, let's introduce ourselves not thelong way like the way we' normally do in a group is like hi, I'm John. I hada pretty good week. I scale one to ten I'd say it's about a seven and a halfand I would like to share later and then you go becky. Okay, Oh and I go now just you just saybasically like what Eai you said: Hey I'm Becky I had a pretty good week orand then whether or not you want to share yeah well, I'm becky and IHAVE had a a lot of ups and down thisweek and I will probably share later probably all right. Hi, I'm Brian and I I've had some ups and downs this week,because I don't really want to rate myself my week, but I'm going to share later. Okayexcellent. So it looks like we have three shares in today's group andunless somebody has an urgent share, we will start on my left and go clockwise.So becky tell us what you' like to share today. Well, it's just it's been a crazy week because my my mom has had started to have sezuresand she was in Harr accident and so that kind of puts me in a I don't know difficult mindset. I guessI've been having trouble with suicidal thoughts and annaegation and yeah. That's kind of what's been goingon and I don't feel like there's been any. I mean there are people that I can tellen things, but I don't feel like I'm being heard. I guess I don't know, but you know I'm safe, I'm not doinganything, but I just don't know what to. I know what to do about it. I have similar issues when my parentsare in distress because I'm not really sure what to do. I don't have the tools.thit resources to help them, and it also brings life into perspective- is like way whwhen they die as much as they get on my...

...nerves. I won't. They won't be there to evenhelp me like. I don't feel that they help me much now, but I'm sure they do.You know what I mean: I'm just not processing it properly or something butyeah when they're in distress it makes me feel, helpless and hopeless, andonce if yeah wit, I don't know the details ofof how how your mom's condition is makingyou feel. I just know like when my mom or my dad or in that state I reallyjust feel helpless. So I'm sorry, it pushed you off to the suicidal ideationarea, because that always sucks yeah it does it's. It comes up a lot yeah. In my experience when I've hadthe suicidlibary aviations, I it Gosh, you just don't want to you. Don't you don't want to doanything I mean you just want to land, bad and salt. I guess I don't know if Sulk's aright word, but so I know what you're going throughbecky thanks. I feel that when yeah, it's the, I think it's thehopelessness. That is that what it feels like to you is the because a lotof times when I feel the suicidal idiation bit or even yeah it's more ofA. I don't want to kill myself. I just want everything to end it just itsometimes things feel so hopeless. It's like what's the whole point, I'm sotired, I'm so exhausted. Can it just please stop I'm wondering if there's aGod, can you just take me out, so I don't look like I killed myself. It'salright so wanting to end this feeling more that there's never like. I want topunish them for the way they treated me. Like the the thirteen reasons why kindof bullshit set up on Netflix that perspective, my suicide Al Cadiationnever looks like that. I would never blame somebody else for the way. I feelI feel the way I feel because it's hopelessness is the way I've added upall the parts in my own head that feels hopeless. And yes, I just hope when people hear that wetalk about suicidallidiation a lot of times for almost all the people h'vetalked to in the group, nobody ever wants to punish the living. Nobody,it's never a selfish move, it's like I'm its hopeless Ha. You feel so vacantso pointless like I'm just taking up food, I'm just you know shitting up theriver, I'm just I'm a waste of life. Why am I even on the planet here? Letme help society by removing me from the equation. I know when I've been suicidal, like you hearthese horror stories about picking up chikers. You know, and I actually picked up a hitchhiker oneday, hoping in my in my head that he would do something to end it,...

...so I wouldn't have to do it myself,yeah. I know that feeling that's what you're talking about yeah, it's like putting yourself inDangero situations when I was in Los Angeles, downtown. I used to go joggingthrough skid row and to the point where I was thinking, I'm going to get sometshirts that like say, skid, row jogging club or something like that.You know what I mean, but the whole idea was like I'm just running throughskid row, because maybe I might die here like maybe Oh, that white guy gotkilled in skidrow Wywell. I don't want that story either, but I always wondernlike. Why do? Why do we put ourselves in dangerous situations? If we'RE NOTSOMEWHAT SUICIDAL? Is it purely adrenaline? Is it is an adventure, oris it just trying to find like you know how people cut themselves or harmthemselves or scratch themselves to feel like real to feel if they're real?I wonder if we do the same things by putting ourselves in dangeroussituations just to feel something besides hopelessness and emptiness. I think so I think that's a lot of whatit has to do with it. Maybe we should go to amusement parks more often orsomething who she feel. That void was something more uppete. That's. Whythat's why? My in my mania and suicidal I mean I think you can have both thesame time for sure you know I was Driv my car like a maniac and go a hunderand something miles per hour to see how fast I can go just for the just for thekick of it. Yeah Yeah right and I feel the same way. I think I'm at my biggest danger to myself when I'm ina mixed state, because I have the depression enough to pull me down andmake me think everything as hopeless, but I also have the manic energy tofollow through to like to go. Do something to make something happen. Yeah, it's tough! I don't like talkabout too much, because I don't have my own answers, even when I get to thatsituation, because every every time I get to that point, it's a differentsituation and for everybody, every human, it's a different situation. Soit's hard to say like this is what will save your life the next time, because Idon't. I don't honestly know that sucks. I'm feeling today becky you feelingbetter like now than even hour ago, yeah, I'm Fon, okay. Today so far, yeah, it's areallyyeah! Well, it's Saturday, though, that's always helpful because there'sno pressure to work, I mean you could always unfind yourself a little bitright, like you said, maybe go see a movie or something later yeah, I thinkgoing out and do something kind of, paradoxically, going out and some doingsomething by myself, yeah, it's like meditating or just you know some metimewhatever they want to call it nice. Well, thanks for sharing now bryth. Ifsomething we ure, I'm sure I I've been. You Know My meds, I'm on a coupledifferent meds that helped me with my depression.

I don't know, if is this the place to talk about medsfuck, yea, dude people love talking about man, just the one connectivething when you say I'm on Sara Quel or I'm on Lamictel, all of a sudden,everybody that listens that as by polor disorder instantly they're like Oh yeah,I take that. You know what I mean so boow mes talk about your mid. Well, I take trantalics, which I don't know. I've heard it's an antipsychitic. I'vealso heard is nantidepressing. It could be used for both, but it was. It was helping, but it wasn't helping enough, and so they put me on a bill IFI too, and it made me emotionless and just this week my I've been noticing for a while Beckia. This is kind of goes along withwhat your moms going through my dad, my bads mental state has gonedown and I'm gonna get I'm Gn get weepin now and I live. I live with my Gad and he I have to do everything for him and it's hard it's hard to be dealling with bipoler disorder,borderline personalitisorder and also had to be a caretecker for a Nelo edelyperson. So I call my brother and I've called my brother a few times this weekand just broke down crying because I don't I just don't know what to do andthat's not something I normally do is cry, but it's been, it's been tough. Are you? Okay? Now I don't mean like are Yuk today yeah. I feel I feel okay today I feel Ifeel good talking about it. Yeah, it's weird when you hear two dudes talkingabout it like even the way. I just said that are you? Okay, now it almostsounds like. Are you done crying? Are you done Lut? You know I mean I didn'ta that. I didn't Ma that Wa on't sound like that. Nobody took I like that:okay, good man that that's rough and I have the same situation. My share wasgoing to be about also taking care of my dad. So I don't want to trudge toomuch on that on yours, but I definitely feel the pinch, a being quote: UNQUOTE:The sick one in the family, but I'm in the middle. Now I'm the Middle Age oneI have old parents now that need karing for, and I also have kids now, whostill need carring for and there's nobody here to care for me andthee. There hasn't been right. That's...

...how I got to this place because nobodycared for me and it's really troubling on many levels, just physically, it'sexhausting to try to care for somebody when I'm exhausted myself due todepression or whatever 's going on that day. I never feel appreciated because of theborderline, maybe or maybe because nobody really expresses theappreciation. It could be a little of both the whole. You know just becauseyou'r paranoid doesn't mean people are not following you. It's the same thingwith borderline. Just because I have borderline doesn't mean some peopledon't appreciate me doesn't mean some people, don't actually hate me. The Ifound people that hate me and that don't appreciate me and it's not theboardinline so and that's also troubling to because the way we presentourselves a lot of people just think. Oh well, you're, not sick. That's whyyou have to do all the work. That's why you're doing the caretake and you'renot sick and like motherfucker. How do you know how I feel all right? It'sthat and just putting on the John Suit just trying to be me every day, that'sfucking, exhausting so much so I really feel for you dude. I just and you tooback you haven't to deal with your parents that way right ium. I wanted to share too my Abillifi. They have to give me giveit to me. An injection I had about ten years ago had gastor bypasssurgery and I lost a hundred fifty pounds, and so it's been a struggle with mads, because I don't I don't I don't absorbthe mads like I used to like. I should the way they the way they do the waythey used to do the gaster bypass surgery. Is they they make your stomach, really smalland also shorten your intestines, and so that's how you absorb nutrients, soi'mviroment deficient- and I also am med deficient, so my medsdon't work as well as they would on a normal person, so they had to adjust mymad. So a take my meds multiple times a day, instead of once a day. So there's just a littt. You know interesting tidbit ofinformation, yeah, it's another kick in the ass right and we just that one morething for people that don't have any kind of mental condition to realize. Oh,that dude got to take meds all the time. It's like a clock. You got the littlepill box. You got all these things were like normal middleaged people. Weshouldn't have to be on. Eight hundred pills, but yet if you want to stayfunctional, Tah, there's a whole regiment, you got to go through it'sridiculous. What's the TRU Olixs I've never heard of that is have a differentname. It's just got the brand name on thebottom on the bottle.

So I don't I don't know. I know oneofther person who takes it. I want to ask it my next group to thatsounds interesting. You think that's one of the newer ones like the oneyou're on Youre Avrela, right re like yeah, that's one of the nearer ones toare you still like it? I am still on it and I like it and everything were, didthey swop in for limittoll or something else it used to be on? I did used to be on limital and I wasnon all of them for a while at the same time, but then I recently got off thelimiptal thankinness. I don't feel like Tho was doinganything for him yeah after a while, I felt the same like most of the menseventually lose their efficacy on on me. I don't know if they ever worked orwhatever, but yeah. It's not bad to change. I just do it under a doctor'scare yeah. Actually I just looked it up.Trentellix is is for isfor de it'sa Nantada present. Oh, that's why I don't know whe, that'sweird they! Maybe it's one meant formanic people, because you know theyrarely give antidepressint straight up any depressance to by polar becausethey well I'm onats that yeah I'm on Litheum to for IM andbilify, that's awhole other set of work right there, too, yeah there's a lot of monitoringthat goes involved with that right, a d you have to you have to worry about your thogoword. This is the thing youknow I was watching. I live a lot in downtown area is tons of homelesspeople and I see how hard it is for them to be homeless, how much work theyput out to be homeless and the perception is homeless or lazy. But manthese people go through so much work. Physical Labor, just to be homeless,dragging your bags around everywhere. All Day, Gettin kicked out sleeping onhard, scment dot it off. Well, it's kind of the same way when you're sick,like when people when we have depression or something people think ohyou're, just depressed yous to lay around all day. Well, no, listen to allthe work. We have to do theres so much work involved at being sick withscheduling, appointments and fighting the BURAUC orsy and getting paymentsover to there and then and then the pills, oh and then the pharmacy arethey're out of it. They don't you know they don't support that pill anymore orthings. It's always changing. You never have any peace or I never did it's well.You talk about taking taking pills multiple times a day. I actually havean APP on my phone. That Shik shoots me a reminder. It's kind ofannoying actually, but it gives me a reminder every time Ihave to take my madicone. Does it give you like a little gold coin? JCHEINlike a game I fel taking. It should gave a five pill. Taking I mean ifthat's L, people love games yeah, so it wouldn't hurt. If you got little coinsfor it right, hey dude. Do you play fucking scrabble or anything like that?Do you play words with friends? I did, but I felt real dumb, so all right because Beck- and I arealways at it over there- just Pano, no...

...beetle, most of the time Tobye tone,likeevery game will get one lucky word. That's all it takes. Is One lucky wordand that's all it takes with anybody, but I'm not always the one who gets thelucky word, I'm probably the least competitiveperson you you'll meet like I'd rather as Yorother. What's your sign dude whenyou're born I'm a Vurgar? Yes, okay, I see that'll, do it I'm in Ares. I'mlike! I can't not compete, I'm like just keep going, go I' Elia, so thatexplains it yeah Leos. At the same way, all my best friends are Leos and myson's Alea. My son was born on my wife's birthday, so my wife was ELEA.When I was married Leos see. The reason I get along withLeos is because ares are one of the few signs that can tolerate Leos, buttherere fight e fire sign to right,yeah, FRI, SIDS, we're just more nuts, but in Leos we, everyone lets Leos,think they're in charge of everything and Leos are happy with that, becausethey actually think they're in charge of everything and the rest of theworld's like hat t just Aleo, just let them things throu're in chargeofmeverything. He thanks! That's funny! Now I mean literally, Imean best friend in high school best friend, now ex wife and first son thats,four Leos, surrounded by him. Oh and my bestfriend, that I grew up with like in my se, in my tenties to he was at Leo alsoyeah. It was amazing how Man Leo somet they're just surrounded with them. That's because they're awesome! Well,it's it's because nobody else will hang out with them. That's WH, Hey, but nobody else will hang out with meeither. So that's kind of the thing Ecaus, the only thing worse than Leoas,like the Arias this, like Fike, that guy whatever okay I'm going to share tobefore get we get too long here. Okay, did you get enough outprying yeah? So and then then the moderator comesaround back to me and like okay, John, so all right. Well, I had this issueagain with my dad. I don't say again with my dad: Don'have like a lot of issues with him, but like like Brian and and Becky Dad MomIss you so my dad has been caretaking thisproperty up at Lake Taho for years. That's property is beautiful right onthe lake t any time I want to go, get away from the city. I go there, it'sfree! I love it and he loves it. He's a retired ex COP xvet kind of Guy Livingon a fixed income. Well, he loves it there and the guy he care takes from issuper old like in his s and about to die. So my dad, you got to figure outsomething to do. You can't just wait until life happensto you. Should be proactive and you make a plan because he's gonna diethey're, going to sell the property and you're going to have to move, and hiswhole thing was like. Oh now, maybe they'll keep me on as a caretaker andDatet I'm like dude they're, not even...

...going to keep the property like this.If somebody buys this is going to get flattened a they're going to build acondos here, get real like your older than me. You should know this. How do I know it and you don't anyway,he ignores it sure enough. They sell the property. He's got to move by theend of September that this just happened this week right an like, toldyou so. Fortunately I had to come to the city a couple weeks back and showed him. Ihave a spare bedroom, I'm like you can stay here. I run the hotel. I cund folkyou up with e with the room. You know it's like a a hotel. You can live in,so I can actually hook him up whatever he's like no, I can cite's not reallyfor me. I get it because it's fucking Grimy,you know he lives in a beautiful pristine lake in the forest and Ioffered him an apartment, Mer, Satan's asshole,it's just totally different worlds. I get it HM, so he doesn't like this idea nowhe's getting kicked out. So I get this long. You know those emails from yourparents are like super long paragraphs about five of them stacked up in email.I'm like Oh here it is here's the email and it so he's basically running downhis plans. Well, he's gonna get rid of some stuff and go store some stuffthere, and then he used this really bizarre term. Then I may go mobileright. HMM, all right! So I don't know what going mobile to you means, becauseI have different terms like couch surfing to me would be staying at afriend's house and then maybe in another house or whatever to me goingmobile means living in now car. What do you think maybe were Rv or something like that? That'swhat I was thinking in orv right, but since he doesn't have any ofthose things and Lik at what does this mean, but you know what he does have.Is He, as my fucking, suburban up there in Tao, because I don't park it in SanFrancisco because it's three hundred fiftyars a month to park, so I don'tneed it. I ride the subway and the bus in the lift and everything I keep mysuburban up, an tio in this email he's talking about selling his old, beat uppickup truck and go ing Mobile Andand, I'm becoming incensed as I'mreading this email, I'm like am. I overreacting, Oris this fucking guytalking about taking my new truck, I just bought and I'm OCD. I don't likeanything in my truck. I like it clean. I don't want. I don't even wantanything in the glove compartment. I just fucking superosee the like. I eventook all the badges off the truck it just simple right, clean. I don't wantanybody fucking in it. I want anybody fucking living in it. Nothing like thatand when I get this email it's under my skin. Now I'm like is this fucking guy,assuming he's just going to take my truck and go live in it like what thefuck is this, so I'm just wondering if my feelings are valleyis and if so, howmuch or if you would react differently,...

I would you know, I think that I would probablybe maybe not quite as incensed but perturbed in somebody just assume thatyou 're going to take my stuff and use it for their own devices. You know whatI mean right, so I can see you know I can see the pointin there and again thedynamic. Remember I'm the sick, one. I'm like people should be helping meand now I've saved the money took me fucking forever too, because I don'tbuy things on cras saved, like thousands and thousands of dollars andbought the truck outright and what I'm just going Ta. Let sitthere and he's going to deteriorate it by living in it. Would you have done anythingdifferently, Brian or like? How would you respond? I think that I would say something to him offer to sell it to him just say dad. You Know Ig, the title is in my name. If you want to buy it from me, we couldtransfer the title. I have a problem with being passive,aggressive right, and so I would I would try to make aconscious effort not to be passive, aggressive, okay, well I'll, tell youhow I reacted and we'll see if it was right because yeah it I don't know, I'm tired ofbeing taking advantage of I'm over it. I'm like past that chapter of my life,so I just sent him a quick email because he can. He conveyed this to mein an email, so I always feel it's fair just to communicate in the same mediumback. You know what I mean, so I just send him a quick email. I said becausehe outlined his plans and I said that's all great period. Let's not make any assumptions about mytruck. I like it antiand clean it's not for living in period. That's it sendthem. Email seem reasonable. Yes, I think so it turned out to be reasonable.Apparently he sent it back. Oh Yeah, I understand about your truck. That'sfine! I didn't plan on living in it, so maybe you know, maybe he thinks mobileis couch surfing. Maybe his I'm going mobile is Cap Surfing. Maybe we justuse different words, so I just want to share that like, even though I kind offeel like I overreacted, it was only in my head. The overreaction was in myhead. The part that eventually came out filtered turned out to be the right words, likeyou said, don't be passive, aggressive, just address it directly and I did the best I couldn't worked out.Okay, so we'll see I'm not sure what to do with Fatik now, maybe...

...maybe his idea of going mobile is tomove into a mobile home yeah. Well he's waiting for some vet housing to open upup there in the mountains where he lives and th. He has options they're,just not he's not sure of the time frame Goy. I don't think I would wantto leav Ti yeah. It's there's no work there. I'm Ilike to do things I like to engage with people and work on projects and there'snothing to do. You want to build the campfire. Okay done: That's yeah!That's the project, this pretty funny yeah, but I guess this thepresumptuousness of or the way he said it. I don't know anyway, so that wasthat that was my big thing of the week had other ones, but I'm over it. Thatwas the ones th t with the family always hit me the hardest and theclosest, because they don't really yeahso sensitive about that stuff.Because the thing is like I know he doesn't have any extra money. If Ioffered to sell it to him, he couldn't pay me, there's no money, for he can'tbuy it from me. The Best I could offer to do is likesell it and give him some money. Just straight up here. Have Somebody go buywhat you can with that money and I'm going to buy a something to use in thecity or whatever, but iven than I'm like? Well, why whyt should I do that?Mi, don't know an then I started thinking why I don't even need Ta Treck,anyways, whe, O. I just sell it by a badass computer and some morepodcasting gear. So I mean I can buy a lot of stuff, but I'm like yea and thenmy dad's a hole. No, no. We need the truck and like who is we motherfuckeryou're up there driving it around, I'm never in it, but I don't want to be a deck. That'swhat it all just AL GETS DOWN TO. I just don't want to be Dick E's likeit's my dad, it's like! Well, why don't you help you dad, I'm like I'm helpingthim as much as I can. I gave him a nice truck to use over the winter timeand that a a, but just just because you give somebodysomething doesn't mean that they can keep taking, and I I felt like it wasleaning towards that situation. It's becoming a slippery slope and I'm gladI nipped it in the bud suscinctly and without blown avewse too much yeah anyway. So that is how a groupworks and thanks for Becky and Brian thanks you guys for making it seem realand sharing your real things. Thank you, yeah yeah, Rhosting andeverything, and so remember for anybody. Listening still to the dog days ofpodcasting, go search out that B word it's a podcast with Becky from Ohio,that's n, yeah, talking about borderline personality disorder and bypolar disorder and all of the other connective tissues, and shortly we'llhear from Brian in North Carolina. When we get him on his own podcast as wellin the beantime, you can meet up with all of us at by Polar Partycom, justtype that into your browser, you'll see a place to request a link, and then youcan go download the slack software or APP or whatnot and hang out with this.It's basically a safe place for us to share and commiserates. You could seeand you could see the misfoots and...

...action yeah Y H can you can hang outwith all of us who feel like we don't fit in with the rest of the worldbecause of our borderline personality disorder? But if you feel that way thencheck it out. Maybe maybe you have a personality, disorder and Hou justdidn't know it we're happy to walk you through thosethings and welcome you aboard to your new found knowledge. ALL RIGHT GUESS: We'll have an awesome.Saturday appreciate your time from San Francisco, I'm Johnny Motions and wewill see you next time. ECRIE TILEONIS A.

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