Live from Emo Dojo
Live from Emo Dojo

Episode · 3 years ago

Happy New Year 2019

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Recorded December 31, 2018; John Emotions reflects on some of his major challenges and accomplishments of 2018 and previews 2019 with a surprise announcement about the future of Bipolar Style. We also talk about being a good guest and what to do if things get tough. #allinyourhead

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It's only your head, and nowit's online Bible this stylecom yes, motions with Bible style. Hey, what'sup? How you been? And happy fucking New Year. We made itone more year. I know a lot of my friends don't like to celebrateNew Year's quote unquote, the to hit for it, too old for it, too lazy for it, whatever time is just to construct all that wholeshit. But you know what, it's kind of cool when everybody around theworld is kind of doing the same thing at the same time. In away it's kind of cool, you got to admit and like when you goto a movie in a theater versus watching it on Netflix. That's why peoplego to movies and theaters. There's a Camaraderia community sitting together and doing thesame thing at the same time. Why do you think people still call radiostations and request that stupid song that they can get anywhere? It's because theywant to make sure everybody else is hearing the same song they're hearing at thesame time they're hearing it. So I think that's the NEAT thing about NewYear in general is we're all experiencing it and more than that, acknowledging itat the same time. Together, whether you like to acknowledge it or don't, you're still acknowledging it. Happy fucking New Year. Join the party.Add Bipolar Partycom that said, it has been a really trying year for me. Twenty eight team was tough. I took on roll as a Hotel Directorfor a nonprofit that manages housing for the homeless, you know, freshly homelessand war vets and things like that. Really tough. Not For me,not with that organization. A lot of the tenants thought that the owner ofthe building was a slum Lord, as they say, and I haven't foundanything personally to discount that notion. So whatever. One of my favorite quotesis from churchhill. If you're going through hell, keep going. So Ikept going. I'm not going to stay there if I'm not welcome. Youknow, fuck that. Kick around somebody else. I'm not going to bethe face of their failures. It's not my deal. and which is weirdbecause when you have bipolar disorder you tend to apply for interesting jobs, jobswhere you think you could actually help people, and then, when they don't workout, because it's a high risk venture to begin with, people think, oh, he's bipolar, he got fired because he's bipolar. Well,maybe I did, but I also stood up for what was right and Ican live with myself. So that's important. So if the past year I wasin the suburbs of the San Francisco...

Bay area and then I was inthe heart of downtown San Francisco, really high crime, Grimy, poor neighborhoodcalled the tenderloin, and now I'm in Louisiana. I'm from California, butI think Louisiana's a pretty neat place. So fresh air, cheap rent,friendly people, Wide Open Space, Oh and no feces on the sidewalk.I love my favorite part. So goodbye tenderloin, Hello Shreveport. That's that'smy big news for today. Personally took a train ride from San Francisco downto Los Angeles, and Los Angeles across Arizona, New Mexico Texas, allthe way up to Longview Texas, opt little bus to streveport. Had somegood friends of mine, Anica and Patty, picked me up and let me staythere their place. They have awesome place for my studio and giving mesome breathing room to get on my feet when to start a podcasting company instreeport. How about that? Because while I like to say I'm not amental health activist or advocate, fucking a am a podcasting advocate. So ifyou want to make your own podcasts, especially in this realm where you likenot sure you want to tell anybody you have a mental disorder, then getahold of me. I'll keep your confidence and show you how to make podcasts. Because, you know, throughout the history of the bipolar style show,the whole yearlong ish history of the show, I've had some cool guests, butgetting guests is hard. When you run a show by yourself, it'sjust fucking hard. You have to do everything. And I'm into like theother stuff too. I'm into graphic design and audio production, so I likethat part, but gathering guests, that was hard and that kind of keptme focused on like, well, Shit, and now I just have to talkby myself or fucking ten or fifteen minute. That's lame. I don'tI don't like listening to podcast where people just talk, talk, talk,whatever. So I'm thinking, well, I wouldn't listen to it. Whothe fuck else is going to listen to it? I'm so turns out youlisten to it, and so I love it. I appreciate you and thankyou. So for two thousand and nineteen. I'm going to do way better forthe bipolar style show. For one, I'm going to eliminate all of theother side projects, my personal podcast, and going to put them on iceand focus on bipolar style proper. Don't worry, I won't get boredbecause I'm starting a podcasting company, remember, so I'll have actual other kind ofclients that I'll help produce podcast of all sorts. I have two industriesalready talking to making podcast for them and that'll be that. But if youhave a podcast about mental health, mental...

...illness, whatever, get ahold ofme through the show, through twitter, email, whatever, and I'll fuckinghelp you do it all. My theory is that if I keep doing thisI'll get really good at it and eventually I'll make money at it. SoI'm not trying to make money with this bipolar style podcast. That's why wedon't have ads, and I'm not trying to really make money off of yourpodcast, because how do you do that? I'm not like a record executive ata record label trying to sign up to late at Sta no, butI can help you. If you're a mental health person, for sure willget past the stigma and do your fucking thing, tell your story, makeyour project. If you've always wanted to make a podcast, I can breakit down for you. So it's super easy and we'll get that taken careof. Okay, cool. So maybe that's a thing for two thousand andnineteen for you, I mean not for me. I've already committed it.That's my thing for two thousand and nineteen, helping you make your podcast and helpingsmall businesses and different industries make podcasts where they pay me for that help. So I can just be a full time podcaster. That sounds lovely,especially if I can do it from where I am now, in the middleof a nice forest up on a hill, a river off into the distance,plenty of room to move around. It feels like I'm kind of likein a mental hospital out in the sticks, but everybody's leaving me alone and theyget the podcast. It's it's fucking cool. So my dad was stayingat my place for a while waiting for his room to open up for hisapartment or whatever. My Dad's like elderly style guy, not bipolar style,elderly style. When to make a podcast for old people called elderly style.Anyway, I got him situated. He's fine. He's up back at LakeTahoe, you know, regular kind of looks pretty new actually, like builtin the two thousands, modern architecture, contemporary fixings like Internet and cable andstuff like that. Lives with the bunch of old people like himself and theycan all share their stories with each other as if they were new stories,which is cool. It's good thing, though, he was driving me fuckingcrazy. taught me a lot about guests and how to be a guest.So it tripped me out that he had no ambition. He lives the lifeof a house plant. He just sits there and saps up the sun comingin the window and watches MSNBC all day. They might go out and get somefood once in a while, but it comes right back to that spotand just blew my mind, like you fucking move. Ever, then Irealized, man, maybe it being a kind of a Dick, but Ikind of was, but I kind of wasn't, because that was not theplan. He didn't come down to like sit in my place and wait forhis own apartment to open up. We had a whole different plan. So, anyway, I have issues with unmet expectations to begin with, and thento just see a dude sitting in your apartment like a house plant with noambition, like off, what the fuck?...

And then I start think, well, that's my dad. I am I going to turn out like that? Oh boy, oh well, so I'm not going to turn out likethat. I have this insatiable drive to thrive and overcome. So two thousandand eighteen was neat because I learned about Dr Adler, Dr Alfred Adler,who, if you didn't know, was the third doctor in the Vienna Schoolof Psychology. Everybody knows about Freud. You probably know about young, withthe J Jung Young. You know. You know about Freud, you knowabout young, but did you know about addler? I think of it likethe dude from guns n' roses, the original drummer, Steven Adler. Anyway, there's no relation, but think of it that way. Outfred Adler andhis personal psychology has studied all about that. In two thousand and eighteen, inmy mind is blown. I feel like, Oh my God, Ican almost fix myself with this newfound knowledge. So, if you want to checkout a good book from the library or find it cheap on the Internetsomething, check out this book called the courage to be disliked. It's aconversation between a mentor and a mentee about individual psychology, as based on AlfredAdler, told in a kind of a storytelle story, kind of fashion,easy read, mind blowing concepts. But yeah, if you're going to readsomething that that changed my life in two thousand and eighteen really that and anacid trip. Yeah, I took some acid. Not saying much more,but I found someone I took some and during this trip I realized the recurringtheme was you already have everything you need. You already have everything you need,and I'm like, Whoa? Like anything, it's all on this planet, right here where I was put. You need more money, there's rightover there. Go get some more money. You can need more oxygen or moreshelter or more human these all there. The whole world has everything we needin it. So it was a lot more relaxing to me and Ichilled out a bit started gaining more focus, considering I already have everything I need. What do I want to do with what I have, and itcame down to, honestly, podcasting. I fucking love podcasting. Why?I don't like to hear myself talk, but I like the idea of storytellingand getting others to share their stories. So that's that's, in a nutshell, the past kind of year. The addler at Larry and psychology, findingmy dad a place to be and trying to work out make a nonprofit SROhotel much better than it can be, to no avail. That was kindof a fail on my part, but lessons learned. You know, youdo what you can do. Oh and here's one thing that's kind of sucked. Earlier in the year at Bipolar Partycom...

...a couple of the guests got onmy ass for something I said or did, whatever was. They are off basewith the details, but the fact that one person said it and anotherperson backed them out. Like you know, I'm not going to kick people outof the group because they criticize me, their name calling and some kind ofcrass things, but whatever, point being, I take criticism to heart. It takes a while to suck it up and try to figure out whatthey really mean, because oftentimes when you critique somebody or throw out name calling, obviously that's that's not helpful because I can't discern what that what's in that. But when people say you're an egotistical or whatever, after check my ego, if they say you're an Asshole, after figure out what what have Idone to make them think I'm an asshole? So the long and short of it, I just stopped going to the group for a while. Becky fromthat B word podcast does a great job at cohosting the group anyway, andshe's a good middle ground and I just figured in two thousand and eighteen Iwould grow up and not engage every criticism against me and just step back andlet it breathe. I heard a quote from Walt Disney, something to theeffect of sometimes when you get kicked in the teeth, it takes a whilefor you understand that that was the best thing that happened to you. Sothe idea that you know sometimes criticism were things that seem like they heard atthe moment are good for you, causes you to think. So, yeah, I started thinking anyway, it's just part of my campaign of being aless of an asshole. I don't know exactly the specifics. Sometimes people getwound up because, hey, we all have bipolar disorder and many others.So I just chocked it up. Is that too? I mean it's agroup for bipolar it's called Bipolar Party. There's going to be fucking people actingout of line, and not out of a line, how do you sayit? They'll miss a line with each other, like nobody's really out ofline, just sometimes we miss a line with each other and it causes arift. So anyway, I stepped out of that group for a while.I'll be back at bipolar party in two thousand and nineteen. Don't you worry. You got not the fuck out. Man, give me my gut himwhat payback? Some mother gaming, because you know that's a hangout for otherbipolar podcast for example Becky at that B word, Brian Ats bipolar belief andJim at the bipolar pod. So there's some cool podcasters hanging out there.If you want to be a podcaster and you want to hang out with mentalhealth kind of folks, go to bipolar Partycom and I'll see you there ina few weeks. Okay, so that whole thing kind of rounds out tothis moment now. So I'm glad you stayed around this far, because I'vegot exciting news, aside from getting my shit together more with the podcast fortwo thousand and nineteen, make it it more regular, getting up on thefacebook, putting all the pieces together that I've been hesitant to, you know, address just because of one guy. You know, not too much timeon my hands. I'm going to work on that stuff, but I'm goingto have some help. That's right,...

...there's going to be a cohost.I'm totally stoked. How did this come about? Well, I'm not tellingyou much about the person. That's the surprise. You're going to fucking loveit. But it's a big enough change where I'm altering the logo. EmoJoe will change. Look for that and this person, because you remember,if you listen to this show last the last episode, I basically said,Hey, I'm not going to really do these unless anybody signs up to beon the show. Well, like I said, people don't like this volunteerto be on the show, especially with somebody like me who'll talk over youand is hyper and whatever. So that's I'm like, well, fuck it. It's a good way to kind of passive aggressively kill the show. Justdo that. Well, somebody reached out. Like I always say, if youwant to do your own reach out, I'll help. Well, somebody reachedout in that context and this person had some ideas for podcast and theywere bouncing them off a third person and like many projects, the third personwho I don't know and whatever, but it's similar to many project have beenpart of. There's always one person that wants to do a thing, orclaims to want to do a thing, but there's always an excuse why thething doesn't get done. Like a lot of people, I think just likeplanning, they like to be in the planning stage so that it never actuallygets accomplished. If you never ship your idea, you can never ship yourproduct. Then nobody can ever criticize you, and I think people find comfort inthe idea that they'll never be criticized if they're constantly working on the thing. No, fuck that, it's not my personality. Let's make a thing, see if people like it, and if they do, cool, askhim what they like about it and fix it, make it even better.If they don't like it, stop making the thing and move on. We'recreative people. We can come up with new ideas. It's not a bigdeal. Just fucking think of something new to do. So this listener hadapparently found one of those people right and I'm instantly like empathize right away.I'm like, Oh boy, I don't know how to help you with thatsituation. So I listen more to what this person was indicating they wanted todo and the ideas, but more importantly, I was checking out the energy,which turned about to be like mine. This person is bipolar in the sameway that I'm bipolar. We're hardly ever depressed. We don't like tofocus on the depression at all. There's plenty of people with unipolar like justdepression. Fine, do that, because we are manning that. They don'thave talk shows for just mania. So we like the bipolar podcast that featurepeople like us that are upbeat, their fast and like. You get itif you have bipolar disorder, you fucking get what I'm saying right now.So I found another one of us, or this person found me, let'ssay. We ran over list of ideas and before long, I mean I'mthinking, man, I just kind of passive aggressively iced the bipolar style show. This person would be the perfect catalyst to relaunch it and make it awhole new fucking thing, like way different,...

...like not just incrementally, we're talkingexponentially better show. HMM, but like is that appropriate to say no, I'm not going to help you with your project, but it's you wantto help me with my project? I can't tell you exactly how that conversationwent, but the long and the short of it that person is going tobe the cohost for bipolar style starting the next episode. So next episode,we'll call it episode zero for season two thousand and nineteen, and it willfeature this person's origin story, you know, like I like to think of allof us as superheroes in a way, and we'll want to know this person'sorigin story and how they got to where they are on the mic nextto me at the fantastic bipolar style studios. So that's exciting. I'm totally stokedabout that. Give me a new focus, a new lease on life. Sometimes you just cross paths with people that run at the same speed andthings work out. So you never know. Nothing's forever. We don't know myI said, you know what, then, I want to build likethe coolest podcast for bipolar people ever. I wanted to be like the Metallicaof bipolar podcast and then I started thinking, well, there aren't really that moneybipolar podcast and none of them are trying to be the metallica of bipolarpodcast. They're trying to be like the Dave Matthews Band of bipolar podcast,the Endya of bipolar podcast, and like no, I want to be likethe metallica of bipolar podcasts. I can dream, all right. So,Hey, I found this. In Louisiana they've got drive through daiquiri shops.You can drive your car through the back of the liquor store and there's awindow like at a bank and Change. There you go. You can putsome money in the thing and the lady will hand you out a freshly madeDaiquiri. The one I got tonight has what he call it stuff ever clear. It's like a hundred ninety proof. Sounds like a mess. I've hada couple sips of it and thank God the brain freeze load me down becauseit's kind of buzzy. It's lots of liquor in there. Don't worry,I'll be fine. I don't drink a much, ever, and I'm notplanning on getting super wasted tonight. I just wanted to taste my first officialLouisiana Daqiri, so that's exciting. Ever, clear in a Daquerie. Come on, man, stoke though to go, relax, do the little countdown.Wake up tomorrow. Hit the ground running. Like I said, man, if you want to do a podcast, hit me up bipolar stylecom. I'mbuilding a new website to go with this whole change for two thousand andnineteen. Yeah, I'm pretty stoked. I think you will be too onceyou hear what's happening. That's it's all I've got, man, I've talkedlong enough. You have a wonderful night. I'm glad you're still here with us. If you were feeling depressed and just happen to find this show,fucking high fives, go over to bipolar...

...partycom right now and sign up,just, you know, stay with us. If you were depressed, I knowwe used to do Bridge Watch angels and San Francisco, where we wouldwalk the bridge at Christmas and New Year's. Because lots of people want to endit all. Man, don't do that. You're here with us.Stay focused. Two Thousand and nineteen is going to kick ass. We're alreadyweird as the rest of the world to tior rates and turns, the chaos. We already know what that's like. So we've got a headstart and Ithink if we stick together, things going to be pretty Badass for us.So head tight, listen to the next episode. We're going to do episodezero for two thousand, two thousand and nineteen season, and that will bethe origin story of my new cohost, who I'm not telling you anything elseabout, COOL CHAP.

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