Live from Emo Dojo
Live from Emo Dojo

Episode · 3 years ago

I'm still alive! Time to give thanks and move on ...


John Emotions talks about killing off his ego, wrecking his own party and how things are evolving for him and the show. Be a guest on the show! Buy a tshirt for Christmas

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Andnowt's online etsyl, Hey: what's up it's johnny motions heregreat to be back with you, thanks for letting me in your head in your ears inyour little ear, pods your air pods and your headphones and whatnot man. It's been a while I've been busy,I've been making other podcasts and hive been helping. Other people maketheir own podcast, so I've been productive. I'm sorry! IfI've, let you go for so long without new podcast, but you know we all gothrough our things and you know what do you want for nothing? It's been well here, I'll get you up tospeed, and this is kind of like the Monday before Thanksgiving here inAmerica, Thursday. The fourth Thursday of November is the day we've givethanks the day that pilgrims came to Plymouth Rock and had dinner with the Indians, and theygot all kinds of weird myths that go with Thanksgiving holiday. But,generally speaking, it's a time to think of things. We should be gratefulfor and practicing gratitude is one way to kind of alleviate depression.Clinical depression is a serious matter. Take your medicine, don't drink alcoholavoid depressing things but yeah. At the end of the day, mindset mindset is really important. It's important to have a positiveattitude kind of goes back to the whole evolution of the bipolarstyle, podcast and or my other podcast. So here's what's going on with that. Igot tired of talking about myself and my own bipolar disorder. So iod justwant to hear other people's stories. If you go to buy polar stylecom now,there's a link somewhere there on the Patrion page. That says like schedule yourself to be a guest,something like that, so I'm only going to produce bipolar stylepodcasts when somebody else wants to share. So if you want to share scheduleand appointment, we'll talk I'm going to, let you do most of the talking I'llprompt you, because I don't like boring podcasts, and there are some technicalrequirements like you- should have a USB microphone to plug into yourcomputer. Not your cell phone, not your tablet, not Wifi or sell signal. Ingy of thatbullshit. One thing I want to do with podcast ismake them sound much better. One of the reasons I don't listen to podcast isbecause most people that produce them don't seem to care about the quality ofthe audio. I do so for bipolar style. If you'd like to be on the show, you need a USP Mike. It's not that muchDask, it's like Hune and ninety nine, its target. You cound, probably get onefor five dollars on black Friday, the Friday after Thanksgiving, so uone of the you know, sacrifices youmake living in ha city. Is You need to let the people clean the poop off thesidewalks and San Francisco? I don't know what happened with the cityplanners, but they severely forgot to plan enough shit holes for the numberof humans, so there is human feses all over the sidewalks of certain parts ofSan Francisco. It's disgusting, you think it's dog boop! It's that's notdocumean. Some of it is dog poop, but no, this human poop talk about weirdthings and animals just randomly no more poop. This is one of those cities that, whenyou are walking around- and you...

...accidentally say to yourself Whoa- thatis the fucking weirdest thing. I'm going to see all day if youaccidentally say that to yourself immediately, you will see something tentimes, weirder and you'll be shocked and you'll, just like Oh wait willremind myself never to say that it's always weird things to see aroundhere. Poop on the sidewalk is not weird, that's the common occurrence. I sawsomething strange yesterday and was really cute and the most weird thingI've seen him a Lotg of time. I was over at the supermarket pick up somegrocery and the lady behind me. At the otherregister. I can see her paying for her grocery and there's a you know. She pulls open the literherlittle baby carriage asked the clerk. Oh do you want to you want to say howto my Kitti, not that unusual to have a cat in aStroller, not in San Francisco mean how? How else do you get a cat around? Thecool thing was, though this was a regular stroller. It was not inclosed,it didn't have any net around it. It was like a regular seat like a babyseat that you would just sit in and this giant fat, orange and white catwas just chilling right. There, no net, not zipp in not cage Dann. He was justchilling JS kind of sitting on his fat, Butt, leaning back a little bit pretty weird right, I'm thinking ofmyself! That's the one of the weirdest things I'll see all day, and then thelady pulls out of her pocket. Oh here's, his friend and the lady pulls out afucking little mouse, a living actual mouse and sits it onto the little catsbelly. I mean it's a big cat, it's big fatcat right and she puts his littlemouse on this orange cat's belly ant, the orange cat just sits there come and the mouse just chills, kicking iton the giant fat billy of the Kiddicat. So in the supermarket behind me,there's a lady with a fat orange cat in a stroller and the cat has his own petmouse, which is a real mouse. That was pretty weird all right. So back to the bipolar style.Whole thing about not wanting to focus on bipolar too much because you knowwho focuses only on your sickness, especially like I don't get any benefitfrom that, except for getting it off my shoulders. I can do that at the DBSAmeetings right. I could just go talk and an get it off my shoulders, but Ido like to practice podcast production skills and I need to talk aboutsomething now and then so by polar was it but, like I'm saying you don't wantto do a podcast just about your wart or just about your whatever I mean pick arandom thing. If you got a thing, that's quote: Unquote a disorder. Doyou want to sit around and talk about just that? TWNT, four, seven La do Mani, Feyou! Last Don mat it foryour a TI. L Fo, you las O me. I see your Tike. We is ISOL. Hanywayyou've, listened tothe show before you've heard me rant about this. So what I do was I startedlike a fan club. I guess I come from themusic industry, so we used the I've been in bands and I'v managed bands,and things like that. One of the keys to a successful band is creating a afan club of some sort. You can have a facebook group, but that's not quitewhat I'm talking about. It has to be more separate from facebook. You shouldhave that completely on your own with your own maidling lists, and you know aplace where people can gather where there aren't other people's ads orother people's Fan. Clubs trying to get their attention sounds like a lawn, Moer, ingine Huht's, a little scooter built this place called bipolar.PARTYCOM is you probably here on the bumper join is exclusively a boypulling that Portycom and that is...

...basically just a link to slack channel.Are you guys familiar with the APP slack if you're on bipolar party, you are soslacks a really popular? You know chat APP. Basically in America, it'sprobably growing other placess, not the biggest in the world, but it's one ofthe bigger ones so, anyway, by Polar Party had a little fan club area. Wherepeople can talk about bipolar, so that worked out cool and then I just saidthe wrong thing: A piss somebody off and I didn't want to like stir up,trouble and fight back. So I'm like O Fuckitg, you guys can you guys can playthere and I'll just go find something else to do. You know it's like. I don'tknow how D I likin it if I had a party in my house and somebody else wascoming over and acting like an asshole and I told them to leave, but they cameback anyway and everybody else at the party was all like. No, let him stay,let hem stay, I'm just going to sell a house and Move Holm. Jus caus gosomewhere else. I Li now because I me I just like I want to be like me and Iwant to live in a peaceful environment, not talking about off topic, crazy shit whatever so I just left that be so if you go tobipolar partycom now it's an awesome place, I'm sure I've just because I'mnot there. That's probably why it's more awesome now than ever. So, of course, that left me with a lotof extra time. Well, unfortunately, during this time my dad started needing a place to be sohe's hampering my life. I can't produce the podcast feeling stifled completely.The dude doesn't contribute shit around and Theni just sucking the life out ofme on top of me being depressed anyway, my friend Dyng, my dad, doesn't give ashit about any of that kind of stuff either's all about himself. So I've gotall these pressures and then people in the bipolar party group ore,taking my words out of context, obviously on purpose just because theygot a different ax to grind or whatever so anyway. The whole thing just spunout of control to back off, but I still like podcasting one of the dudes inbipolar party, Christian Fella Brian, and which isstrange because if you've heard me talk, I rant and rail about Christianity andreligion. Sometimes I was raised as a Baptist in America, but its kind ofgrew out of it anyway met a guy named Brian over in North Carolina and Brian,has a podcast about Christianity and mental health. That's pretty cool, soat least one good thing came out of that right. So it also got me thinkingthat well Jeez. Let's just do this with more people. So frankly, if you're outthere- and you want to try to make a podcast totally hit me up Bu, I will behappy to help you host it for free, for you show you howto put it on itunes help you, you know, put up your twitter account in youwebsite now, O that totally happy to help. We need more podcasters willingto speak up about mental health. There's a bunch of youtubers there's a good twitcher on her name's anxiety and it's likeanxiety, but instead of the an it's the letter m like mouse. I guess I don'tknow anxiety, MX, IE, ty, anxiety on twitch, she's, good and like tons of youtube accounts anyway.By point being, I just don't think, there's enough great sounding podcast for other mental illnesses and there'snot as many voices as I would like to hear from other countries reallydifferent cultures, different heritage and different viewpoints on mentalhealth and mental illnesses. I'd like to hear that, and if you have an ideafor a podcast, let me know I help you work it up. You can be your own star. Idon't have to talk on it. The whole thing can be yours and it canbe free I'll help. You do it. So that's...

...what you know long and short of it,throw all that turmoil. That's what I came up with so we'll do bipolar stylego to bipolar stylecom and you can, you know, schedule a guest appearance andbe on this show and anytime. You see that there's a new episode of bipolarstyle. It's only because somebody knew decided to come on the show. That wasone of the harder things I found about running a podcast with guests isbooking the damn guest, especially if the guests also have mental healthissues. It's just the shit show it's hard to book anybody and I'm reallyorganized so I have like a calendar reminders scheduling all that text.Shit and people still couldn't get it together. So anyway, I'm not going Na,I'm not going to fight for guests and I'm certainly not going to sit and keepblabbing on my own story again and again again again, it's lame so now bypolar style is your turn to talk. But if you want to hear me keep talking,this is the other thing I found out. You can check out chaos updates, sochaos update. I've always had this fascination with chaos. I don't seechaos as a negative. I don't see chaos in the sense of mayhem and turmoil. Tome, chaos is avoid of nothing from which everything begins. So in my mind,I'm alwas I've always been like a positive thinker. So I see a lot ofbeauty and potential and possibilities in chaos. It's it's not stable, though that's for sure, but even though it's not stable, Istill see beauty in it and I think it's worth celebrating in my own life andalso worth documenting to the outside world. So my new podcast is calledchaos update. Of course, you can go to chaos. UPDATECOM follow the twitter atchaos, update that whole stick, but that's only like to the people thathave been listening to me for a while, and you probably know that, becausethat other show the Johnny Motion Show- and I changed it to upbeat for a minute,because one point I was so low, I was going through that will fuck itI'm not going to die, I'm not going to die just fake it and Tel you make itlike. Everything was coming down on me and I'm solike ow. Okay, just pretend your upeat go thewhole colorful upbeat, happy music, everything just force, it just go behappy, and I don't I don't know if it helped or not, but it helped becauseI'm alive I'm not dead. I didn't die by suicide and live to see another day. That said me if you just if you for some reason,you're turning tuning into this podcast, because you like to hear me Ramble, youprobably dig chaos update a lot because I'm going to do it frequently they'regoing to be short, they will revolve around mental health topics or at leastfrom top at least be topics from a mental health perspective and always betrying to bring that kind of back into the to the message regardless. If we'retalking about entertainment or politics or any of the rest of the things wehave to live with in the real world anyway, and so I think it's importantto get that out there, that people with mental illnesses have a perspective onthose things and that aure perspectives matter, but there's no bot sidesanymore, they're, just trying to wreck our goddamn country still trying to getout of this city. Have I said that on this podcast before, like it's crazydown here, my job is crazy. I'm overwhelmed and stacked Tan, deep with,like literally mentally ill people and some physically disabled there'selderly people homeless, people old war, vets, you name it I'm in the thick of it right now- and Ihave this paranoia or this thing, where I fear of becoming the average of thefive people I'm around the most.

That's not good. Not This! Really I gotta Get, can keep my movement gotte, keep so there's some people on twitter.Recently I was listening to a podcast, the I know it's Becka, Labardo and Joe, but I aways forget, t fuck. Sorry, yousuck yeah tack. Ask Anyway. I think it's a God. Damnimgnna have to edit this Atamfucking up so bad check out the big brain on bread so on twitter, Becca,Lombardo and Joe Lombardo ar two twitter mental health advocates andthey have a podcast. I just can't think of the name of it. I know theirhashtagers keep talking mh, but the name of the podcast is like left of thedial or straight radio can see. Im Super Fucking OUP anyway I'll get itright, and I will put it correctly in in the notes and when I tweet this out,so they have a podcast to talk about mental health issues and they had one of the spokes. People are bry goodfrom the International Bipolar Foundation on this past week, and Ithought that was pretty entertaining for it's just fun to hear people withbipoler disorder, kind of Hash things out and what I always find entertainingis when I listen to fucking mental health podcast where they start talkingabout politics and earnest. Meanwhile, they're all saying: Oh no, we don'twant to talk about politics, but meanwhile, let's talk about politics.It's funny. I know nother guy, who he's a comic but he's also a rocker and hispodcast is all about rock and rose OL man. This podcast isn't just about rockand roll hey coming up next week. Dave girl is Goingto, be on my dear. If yousay it's not all about rock and roll, but it's all about rock and roll. Soyou know there's no shame in talking about politics. Just make a show moreabout politics. That's all! I'm doing with the chaos update by the way islike I'll talk about politics hat. We have to work our way through this right. The Guy who's president now won't bepresident in a few years. No matter what happens so, we've got TA sticktogether. I think the ultimate battle will be the last of the organic humansversus the robot transhumans, we'll see when that day comes. Maybe all of theraces of organics will finally unite to beat the robot actually give me one. Second, I want toGe look up Ho Fuokay, here's how that should have sounded originally so heythis past weekend, I was listening to a podcast called voices for change. TWOPOINT OUT NA they're available at voices dash for Tas Change, dotnet, thehost Rebecca Lombardo, her husband, Joe Lombardo, welcome the guest aubry goodfrom the International Bipolar Foundation. eahsomething like that right anyway, sothe PODCAST is called voices for Change to point out. That's a good one! LISTENTO THAT ONE! Also! LISTEN TO THAT B! Word Cores Becky, which she's produceda couple of podcasts with beat together on both by polar disorder andborderline personality disorder. We both have both of those so that B, wordshe's way more mellow than me. She's, like a normal person. Talking Very hypnotic, I think, is a good word whenI listen to Becky's show that B word so I'm thankful for meeting her and forwhat she's doing putting together the podcasts pretty frequently. I think sheslowed down a little bit too, but you know we all do what we can do. It'snice that there are several west o fill in the voids when others are notproducing, shows. You know, that's one of the things I'mgoing to appreciate more about doing chaos update three four five times aweek is that I can just ramble and keep... updated on things I find on the fly.I also do you use flipboard. Do you use flipboard flipboard is a cool APP. Iuse it on like tablet and a phone where you can just save curerated newsarticles from types of feeds that you're into I've got a magazine overthere by polar style, can see a lot of the articles. I read and get my ideasfrom for this podcast, so you know I'm nogenius. I just read a lot super curious. I want to know about your stories andyour perspectives on the same stories. I'm reading. Are we getting the sameinformation? Are we hearing things the same way? Are we processing? Are weheading for a solution for people with bipolar disorder? That's what I want toknow. Can we separate mania from depression? Finally, when can we dothat as a person with bipolar disorder? I've never gotten the benefit ofantidepressancs. They simply will not give them to me because I'm Alen mannic,I len lean hypomanic Rormatic, I'm a fast person, I think, F, that's mydisease. I'm fast people like Oh Youre, spas, spas, isn't a diagnosis andhonestly mania tends to I mean it feels fast Hypomania, but I'm not adhd. I'm not. I mean I'mpaying too much attention. Not Not enough attention, so if there were adisease called fast and an, I think I just have fast, I think fast, and itspeak fast and it's not that bad. I just it feels like you guys are slow,not you guys, but tha. You know the regular people feels like they're, slowand kind of boring and predictable. It's weird: Whatever you know what I mean if youhave bipolatists, where you totally know what I mean all right, so yeah have you caught upto speed yet so we're going to tie a BOT round the way I used to do bipolarstyle, I flipped the switch on the the order in which the podcasts play soa lot of new people hopefully have been listening from the beginning or caughtup to the story, and now, when they get to the final episode of the bipolarstyle, most recent ones, they'll get this episode y you'll get this oneyou're listening to the episode, you got hey how about that anyway, nowyou're caught up to speed moving forward, basically starting twothousand and nineteen January, all of the new bipolar style episodes willjust be me hosting somebody from around the world sharing their story. I've gota great platform to record your voice level. It out make it sound awesome onboth sides, I'll record some place a little quieter. So you don't hear thecity behind me and we'll make a really cool, sound, ind, podcast and kind oftry to do our part to reduce stigma by showing the rest of the world. Howquote unquote normal bi polar people are right. Ththat, sound e fect that reving motormeant something right, I believe in synchronicity. So I don't know whatthat exactly meant right there. That said, do that have an awesome Thanksgiving and if youwant to hear meet, talk more go over to itunes and just look forchaos. Update that'll, be me, I'm not going to use my name that much, I'm notgoing to say hey, it's John Emotions or any of that, I'm just I'm trying tokill my ego literally and like it's not about me. It's not about me! It's about! Well get me getting my story, not myeven my story me getting my emotions out my feelings out my thoughts out ofmy head that that's what it's about to me. It's just me getting the shit outof my head. Instead of being the crazy guy talking at the bus stop or theMANNIC street preacher on the corner, I'm just talking into a Mike, but youdon't know who I am and that's the way I like it. I like it that way. Youdon't need to know who I am so I'm not going to like promote johnnymotions or anything like that. In fact,...

I change that twitter account and websites nearlydefunk. They might just point that domain name back over to Bipola stylekind of erase those tracks make that disappear. So I'm Beingi'm glad you are here andour witness to all of this. So at least we know it happened so moving forward,people don't think I' supernuts. Some of you will actually just knowjust evolution of a project right yeah. What do you said all right, I'll? Let you go and go overand check out. Chaos, update I'll start, recording those probably Wednesdaythanksgiving morning, maybe even Friday, Saturday, whatever and start recordingthose and also go to bypolar stylecom hit the book a guest spot button andcome on be on the show, be on an episode halt to yourself. You can shareas yourself. You can share as your twitter handle or you can share as ameme. It doesn't matter you can share anonymously or not. It doesn't reallymatter. People just want to hear like from others, who've been diagnosed withbipoer disorder to know that they are not alone all right. So you're notalone. You got me, which you know thit's, not saying a lot, but I'm happy.I have you and you take care talk Toyou soon, CSE.

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