Emo Dojo
Emo Dojo

Episode · 4 years ago

Isn't Bipolar a chick thing? Stop denying suicides! Welcome to the Bipolar Party!?!

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

John Emotions talks about the death of Delores O'Riordan, asks if Bipolar Disorder only affects women, and welcomes everyone to the Bipolar Party ... dot com

---
Send comments to comments@bipolarstyle.com or leave a public voicemail response (377) 944-9333

Welcome back to thy polar style, the podcast for by pole it people and those who love them. Join US online at by polar stylecom and now here's your host, Johnny most and I'll right. Welcome back to bipolars style. I am johnny motions and I am not having a good day to day. If you listen to the podcasts on the regular or maybe watch the youtube live stream, you may have heard me talk about trying to get a new job, because the current job I have had wasn't they just weren't really pulling their weight as an employer, like you know, night providing computers, or the particular job was in sales and they couldn't provide estimates for me to get to customers and on the rare occasion I could get it estimate to a customer and get the customer to buy something. The company had a hard time producing these custom things on time. So, as a salesperson, not only affected me financially but affected my personal brand in the market place, because it looks pretty bad if you're selling things that the company can't produce. So anyway, all that led up to me, you know, looking for somewhere else to work, and I found that all is cool. The think pretty sure. Hopefully the job I'm leaving will have the courtesy and ethics to pay me the commissions they owe me and I can start fresh. So that should be me. I'm moving to downtown San Francisco. Have another job lined up there. Start next week, so that part's cool. But that's not why I'm having a bad day. Maybe maybe that contributed to a little bits. I put in my notice. Only put in a week notice because I don't know, two weeks seems extensive, little excessive these days. So I put in my week ...

...notice. We're only halfway into the week and you so so well, tomorrow can be your last day, which kind of offended at but I don't really care. I'm over it. Just slightly offended by it and yeah, whatever. Moving on from that. But here anyway, here's why I'm having a bad day. I was downstairs at the place I live, playing the drums, you know, listening to the headphones and rocking out to some of my favorite music and you know, just a wave of depression comes over and hits me and then I started to think about it for a minute, like why am I why am I depressed? And I realized like I've had a bunch of good news lately, pretty solid successes for an average person, let alone a person with bipolar disorder. So let me back off a second there and remind every body that does not have bipolar how fucking hard it is to find a job that you can work, not because of your talents or skills or your intelligence, but because of your emotional ups and down. Sometimes you're depressed for weeks or months on end and can't show up at work. How was an employer supposed to keep a spot open for you? And then you've got to catch up on all the projects that you've been missing out on and it's a mess. Man. I found a new job, which is cool, and it wasn't sure what the deal was. A lot of times my self esteem takes a big hit when I'm depressed and I think I'm worthless, and so it's really neat when you can get an interview and apparently, thanks to my borderline personality disorder, I come across as fairly charming and interviews, so people love me and interviews. You know, it's like three or four months into the work relationship is when they start disliking me. That said, okay, it's hard to find jobs. Hey, I got a new job. Cool, but there's nobody here to celebrate with me. There's like fucking people online, especially if you hear this now, you'll say, oh, tweet...

...out something, congratulations and some emojis, and that's that's fine, but I mean there's nobody here. There's like there's nobody in my life that congratulates me in person, like there's no support circle, there's no no people that are like yeah, we're rooting for you. Dude, that's fucking awesome. I'm glad you got a new job doing something more that you like, or you know, that type of thing, and don't have a pet and all the why, or a girlfriend. My kids aren't here to say fucking cool, Dad, that's awesome, we're proud of you. Go Dad. Nothing, I got nothing. And then people say, oh, but yeah, I'm right here. No, you're fucking not right there. You're on the internet or on the other end of a phone or some other place in time and space. You are not right here. Nobody is right here. If you were, I would probably wouldn't be doing a podcast, I would be hanging out with you and talking with you. So that's the thing when, and I'm not blaming you listening off, obviously, I'm just being emphatic because I'm upset. But once you've pushed away all the people in your life because of the disorder that you have, because you don't realize that you have it, disorder maybe, or you can't quite control it, or the MED's don't work or the therapy isn't working, for whatever reason, you burn out all your relationships and then when good shit actually happens, there's nobody there to celebrate it with, which makes life infinitely less enjoyable, makes it that much less fun to live overall, as if being depressed wasn't bad enough, the times when you're not depressed and good things happen, there's nobody to support you and celebrate with. This it's sad. And this all comes on the heels of the news. Yesterday we learned about the death of Dolora so reardon from the cranberries, who died by suicide. But nobody fucking says it. How are we were going to, you know, address the stigma of suicide if the people closest to those who die from it don't even say the word, just say the fucking word when someone dies of suicide. Say it. Suicide is like...

...a disease. You catch it. It's catchy. If someone dies by suicide and if you don't address it, somebody else that witnessed that or hears about it could catch it. It's like a contagious virus. So you've got to address it by name and you got to go straight to the source find out why people catch suicide. Unfortunately, by polar folks, folks with bipolar disorder, however you want to describe yourself. We get killed by suicide at a much higher rate that the average person. Upwards of twenty percent of US die by suicide. So suicide is a disease unto itself. We're never going to be able to fight it unless the people who lose loved ones to suicide start calling that shit out immediately. Play Coy with the media. We know what that means. died suddenly, you know, respect the privacy, blah, blah, blah. Just fucking say it. Okay, if you guys won't say a person died by suicide, who will? What just we're just going to blow it off. She mysteriously turned to a fairy dust and went off into heaven. Okay, that makes you feel better, but it's not going to stop the problem with suicide. And while I was talking to somebody about this particular situation, the the they said, well, like bipolar is, that's like a chick disease. Anyways, I'm like, Holy Shit, here we go again. This is like somebody saying that to me is like having trump is president. It's like just pushing us so far backwards, a hundred years back in evolution of mankind. So check it out. Yeah, bipolar disorder is not a chick disease, because apparently whoever thinks that is only focusing on the chick emotions, let's call them. Not even want to go there. But there are other emotions we like. Right now I'm fucking agitated. I'm angry on the grand spectrum of emotions. I would rather be angry than in despair. At least I have some energy, I have some hope and...

I'm just I'm just fucking pissed about way the way things are right now, and I'm that way frequently. Some people call me a spas. Call me what you will be, but these are my emotions. I'm not always sad, not always depressed, I'm not always lonely, not always angry or agitated or aggressive. Sometimes I'm all of those at once and sometimes I'm none of them. But emotions are part of all of us, men, women, probably, animals, not robots. In the future, as we all turn the machines, emotions will be our most valuable currency. So in brace your emotions. If you're feeling something that's human, men do that. Embrace that feeling, embrace your emotions and, you know, enjoy life the best you can. Try to avoid the bad emotions encourage the good ones. You know, healthy balance. But yeah, stupid. No, bipolar disorder. It's not a chick disease. It's going to make for a great headline on this podcast. Is Bipolar Disorder at chick disease? I can see that now, is the headline, in fact. Yeah, I think I'll do that anyway. So, yeah, bipolar is for everybody. And if someone dies by suicide, acknowledged, it's suicide. If it seems like suicide, it is suicide. Anyway. Remember last week, maybe the week before last, when I was talking about the five people that you are around the most and about the Dharma punk's podcast where they talk about surrounding yourself with just five supportive people. Well, put some thought into this and I'm like, well, the Internet kind of is good for that stuff. Twitter is not perfect for I use twitter a lot to save news articles of my own that I like to read later. I use twitter to communicate. When I'm active on twitter, like I'm I don't sit in front the computer and play on twitter necessarily very...

...often. So it's I'm not always chattable, but I do want a place where folks with bipolar disorder can congregate online mine and perhaps make tight enough bonds to where we could meet in person and then we could start building actually true life support network of those five people were talking about. Going through the list of type of platforms I've tried over the years and that's such a pain in the ass. So facebook is okay, facebook groups are okay, but the thing with facebook by polar groups and mental health awareness groups and all those type of groups, as they get so huge and become poorly managed. So there's lots of stocking, there's lots of inappropriate behavior, a lot of just gets kind of creepy not very supportive. So I wanted to make platform away from facebook in particular. I'm not a huge fan of facebook. Oh Hey, that was my new year's resolution. I quit facebook. So I deactivated and deleted my account what you have over there in some of the groups. I left the keys to the back door with the good friend of mine so I can get in if I need to. But yeah, I'm not on facebook anymore. Not Not a fan. That's what led me to search out other platforms to do this on. So I tried something called Yammer. Why? AMM are used to be a great platform, really simple, really cool to use, and people can share ideas and congregate and it kind of like an online water cooler, just that sort of thing like facebook used to be before they had all the ads. But then, of course, Microsoft came and bought Gammer and fucked up the login process so that when people try to sign up you and try to invite new members, it's confusing and invites go off into space and people can't get in. So it's virtually useless. So had to cross that one off. I tried something else called the mighty networks, which is like an APP web based thing, mostly APP based, and it...

...seemed cool because it was kind of geography based, location based, the problem with that was the APP itself was Super Clunky and slow and the interface was just kind of crappy, not very intuitive at all. Crossed Mighty networks off the list. So the last one I found was also one of the first ones I'd found a few years back. It's called Ning and ing Ning Ning Network. Ning had been around and fell out of favor. I think they had some financial difficulties with their old node media or mode media, whatever they were called before. Anyway, long story short, they seem to have new money and a new focus. It is a pay platform. I have to pay for it, so maybe I'll put up a patreon page or something so if it becomes a thing, maybe other people can help me pay for it. Anyway, not a big deal, but it's a it's a paid platform. So there are no ads, which is one of my key criteria. I can't stand adds, especially in bipolar groups. What are they going to do? They can to advertise. The SAMUAL's yet to us. You know what they can to advertise. No, I want to talk about it because I don't want to adds in our little area. And the next thing was like, okay, what do we call it? And at first I like I like the jungle. I like adventure. Let's call it bipolar jungle, two words I think are cool you put them together, like Apple Pin and bipolar jungle. Yeah, and it was cool enough right. It's has a fun ring to it, but it also has kind of that dangerous connotation to somebody that might be anxious or, you know, a little depressed or just I don't want to go to the jungle. No, that sounds like too much, so I backed off the bipolar jungle idea. Bipolar junglecom still goes to this new place, but it's not called that. Now. What's it called? Okay, I'll be happy to tell you. We were chatting on...

...twitter. You know, a couple of folks, I think it was Becky, over in Chicago and I were chatting. One of us was depressed, I think I was and or she was. What are does really matter, and we were kind of cheering each other up with like hey, let's listen to the same songs together or the same band together at the same time. You do it in Chicago and I'll do it here in San Francisco. So I think we had like some ramones or some kind of old school punk rock going very cool. She's a big Morrissey Fan, so maybe we had more CEGO. Maybe that's why we word depressed the moment. Anyway, we're like Hey, let's share these songs. We shared the songs and we hashtagged it bipolar party, and so going back to that memory, I'm like, Oh, that was fun. Yeah, let's call the new bipolar group bipolar network, Bipolar Party. So that's the name. If you go to bipolar partycom right now, log in, you could sign up. Is Free. Jump in there, set up your profile and Bam, you'll know you're in the right place because you'll see the little smiley face, Yin Yang logo, emo Joe. You'll see him on the corner there, or her whatever it is. Tried to make the place look kind of fancy, you know, HMM Homie, like comfortable to hang out in. And know that when you sign up you're only giving your email address to me, to John. That's it. I'm not a corporation. I'm not going to sell your email address. I think the platform let's meet email blast you once a month if I want to, but I haven't yet. To the people that sign up at John emotionscom, I have email list there as well, and those folks can attest that I never email them. It's just the way to get in that. We're not going to use facebook log in or any of that. I don't want any facebook tentacles touching the bipolar party. You're here and of course it's private. The outside world can't get in there. They can't search for content in our network. And you'll also notice that those of us who are diagnosed with bipolar have a little star by our profile pick, like we're verified.

We're cooler than you guys that are not bipolar, at least at the bipolar party. That's how it works. So come on in, sign up. It's free. Hang out with us, give me show ideas. You can come on the show to we could talk about ideas that should be talked about maybe on a podcast like this. I'd be happy to hear your input, but if you already know you want to be on the podcast, go to Johnny emotionscom slash guests and sign up. It'll take you to my calende link. That's a mouthful. Basically, it's a show calendar with all the available showtimes and dates that I have open, and I love to talk to you there. But anyway, back to the bipolar party. Yeah, share what you want, just if you got pictures of yourself for your kids, or get videos or poetry or or working on a project you need help with. Do it all. There's also real time chat, an area to blog for yourself, if you want to do that or if you already blog. I would like it if you copied and pasted some of that stuff or linked it to bipolar party so we can all see what each other are up to and try to be more supportive in a kind of a real time way. So, anyway yet right. This is how the mind of a manic person works. I need five supportive friends, so I'm going to build an entire world just to find those five friends who. Okay, well, that works for me. So that's that's where my skills by is starting things and seeing what happens. Cool, right. So, bipolar PARTYCOM. Like I said, if you go to bipolar junglecom, I'll go to the same place now and again. Go to John Emotionscom if you want to sign up to my email list or become a guest. There is some other stuff there too. Hey, if you sign up to my email list and share a bunch of stuff. The winner each month gets an emo Joe tshirt, so that's worth it, right. Yeah, sure, okay, I think I'm done. Man. I just want to get that off my chest that a lot of times...

I don't. I'm not like one of those persons who likes to talk. I'm a person who likes to have said something. I like. The reason I do talk is so I can get things off my chest and get on with life. So I appreciate you being here and listening to me rant and rave about different things. I really feel like I'm getting more settled. Tomorrow is going to be the last day at my old job. Get a day or two off to clear my head and boy. Yeah, so anyway, get hold of me on twitter at John Emotions. Also for the podcast at bipolar style. You can listen to the podcast directly on the web at bipolar stylecom. We are on Itunes, apple podcasts. We're also on spotify. Now trip that. If you listen to spotify. Just searched bipolar Bam right there, bipolar style. Listen to us there and also visit the facebook channel. No, facebook channel. Fuck facebook, still stuck in my brain. visit the Youtube Channel. Go over to youtube and look for Johnny mootions. We'll see the johnny emotions presents. When I get to my new place I'm going to be doing a check this out, but to stream live jazz concerts. What? It's not that weird. You'll like it. It's in the heart of downtown San Francisco and super crazy tough neighborhood. You'll love it. I'll put the camera out the window. We can watch drug deals. I'll put the camera inside, we can watch the jazz bands play. It'll be a hoot, so stick around. Subscribe to this podcasts. If you want to see the videos, go over to youtube and track down johnnymotions show. Cool. All right, let's get back to life. I'm glad you made it really appreciate if you listen to this show. IMP there is anything I could do for you, let me know. Have a great day. Talk to you soon. By. If you liked what you heard, subscribe on Apple Podcast by Itunes and join us at by polar stylecom. Thanks for listening.

In-Stream Audio Search

NEW

Search across all episodes within this podcast

Episodes (127)