Emo Dojo™ Presents: John Emotions
Emo Dojo™ Presents: John Emotions

Episode · 3 years ago

Keep Talking Mental Health! Beka and Joe Lombardo, Bipolar Style

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

John Emotions talks with Beka and Joe Lombardo from the Voices for Change 2.0 podcast on their relationship as a mental health 'power couple,' Beka's book 'It's Not Your Journey,' and the origins of their #KeepTalkingMH hashtag. Trigger warning; self-harm

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Hey what's up thanks for letting meback in your head, I appreciate you subscribing to the bipolar style.podcast today is an especially cool day. I had kind of a rough weekend if youwant to hear about that. I whind about it over at Johnny Motionscom here onbipolar style. However, welcome Becca and Joe Lombardo from Detroit USA. Theytogether are both mental health advocates and are responsible for theHashtag, keep talking MH. So what's up guys thanks for joining me, Iappreciate you being here: Hey, thank you for having US yeah. Absolutelythanks for thanks for, for welcoming US onto yourhumble little show appreciate it so joe and I go back. Wehad a little conversation beforehand to hopefully get the guy talk out of theway, but I remember that you guys are like thepower couple of mental health, but I only bring that up because joes twitter hash tag twitter handle waspower slave one housand, nine hundred and seventy four, which is awesome,because I'm a huge iron maiden fan, in fact, I'm wearing a Derek Riggsoriginal shirt right now. I'll have to show it to you'll. Take a picture of it:Nice, that's that's Owhich one! Is it it's one you haven't seen: He did itfor an autism, an autism fundraiser and got Eddie with his the top of his headexploding into puzzle pieces. Oh, that's, awesome! Yeah! It's amazing! Isay Yeah I' love to see a picture of that. I saw him at a a COMACON kind of place. He was hangingout there drawing pictures for people and he drew a little eddy in the coffeetablebook. I got so yeah anyway, Jo and I re huge metal fans. So all that asGod, maybe I have some metal music playing underneath us right now. Thatexplains it. Se, let's GE, lets get back to know. I O know if we keeptalking metal much more backsize are going to glaze over because she's, notexactly the metal fan that you and I are some metal stuff that I'm into, butnot not man, not everything he listens to Kno. I just buy the TSHIRTS forChristmas. That is a firm supporter. I appreciatethat yeah. That's that's. The extent of their support, though, is that I can'tget her to listen to any of it Anfi play under the hills. She gets mad atme because T en stuck in her head for three days, you're lucky to have foundone that will stay with you Aiam most of my metal friends are single, asespecially when you're still in the metal at our age, they're like okay,dude, all right Croupno, not yet toys arrest is closing.Damn it don't get me starter that mat so hey I wanted do so. Both of you are like a mental health power couplenow, but obviously you came from different paths you're from the samegeography you're both from Detroit area. If what did mental health issues bring youtogether, or did you come together and kind of discover your each each other'sbackstory? After the fact it was as a good questions. After thefact I mean we met it's funny. We when AOL first started, you know AmericaOnline first started. They had penpile features where you could pickan area of the you know United States to be a penpel with somebody, and I waspicking Michigan people because I won't you know with the hopes of meeting themsomeday and that's how we met was through AOL on a penpal thing Yep,which is why we still have AOL email addresses to this day, embarrassinglyyeah, her email isn't quite as bad but minegoing on forty four next month. It's embarrassing on a lot of levels, and Ihave to clarify that with everybody I...

...give it to now. You know, but it'salmost like a retro, kitch kind of thing down. Don't you think, because alot of people are actually getting landlines again like after not havinghad a landline for five or six years, so just tell them like yeah. This israre man. We went backing ut the old school, just like you, hips just growgoty put on some Flantel get Choo. Well, I got the got part down s good there.Halfway to hipster flannels warm so soh yeah, the your Pant Pals O. that's NeatYeah Wer pempels and then we met in person and Weour schedules were too different atthe beginning, like he lived on the other side of town Yo it you know, wejust couldn't seem to connect, so we kind of let it go and then a while later it waslike, may o one thousand nine hundred and ninety eight we well what happenedwas no was okay, I'm Gongto! Let people in onsomething that they may or may not be aware of yeah, and this is something that we don't talk about alot when back and I first met due to my own ignorance on the subject. I knew that she had bipolar disorderand she would do things like selfharm and whatnot. I never keptit from anybody. I was she didn't. She was very apfront with it and it I was.You knew what it was Becka back. Then you were diagnosed already yeah. I wasdiagnosed aage. Nineteen Yeah, okay and I'll be honest with you. It it scared me, and so I in my ignorance and in my I'm ashamed to say I ran away. You know I didn't know what to do, how to take it. If I wasgoing to be strong enough to be able to be there for her and we admet it was, we had met in personsummer of ninety nine and stop talking and then about March of two thousand and one wereconnected, and you know we would still talk here and there and shecouldn't ever really figure out why I had left back then, and eventually Iwas asked with her. I told her and were you really scared of thebipolar or do you think Yi might have just been scared of being in love? I didn't understand it. Okay and and honestly, I needed to growup. I needed to mature a little bit and- and you know during the whole time that wewere apart- I still thought about her. I thought about her a lot and Iwondered how she was and I was concerned for knowing what she had beengoing through and that she had been in bad relationships previous and so we started. Actually we startedhanging out. It wasn't two thousand and one it wasbecause we went to that wrestling thing in August yeah. One of the things that brought ustogether was our love of Brustling, Oh righ, yeah, so itwas like August o twoThousano, and we want to a wrestling show, and it was her and I and a couple of myband members from band. I was on at the time at a friend of hers and after thatwe kind of kept talking, staying contact and that March of two thousandand one we started seeing a little bit more of each other, and you know I wasreally trying to open myself up to who she was as a person and getting past what she was dealing with. Youknow and realizing that this woman was just amazing. She was incredible. Shewas funny she was beautiful. She was intelligent. She was everything that I was looking for and Iwasn't going to et an affliction that she was dealing with come between thatI was going to embrace it and be...

...herrock for her because needed one. She needed one and I neededher. You know so yeah. We don't talk aboutthat very early time that much but yeah. That's so I don't. I don'tblame him for that. You know I don't I don't sit around and think about. Well,he screwed me one day or whatever it's I understand. I lost a lot of friendsand you know I would have say I had a friend come over to watch movies and Iwould leave my stack of pill. Bottles out on the shelf. F Om, my in mybedroom, and they would see that and I would never see them again yo you knowso becaus. I was on so many meds at that point and you know so I don't Inever. I didn't understand where he had gone and where it went wrong, but Ididn't hold it against him because you know deep down inside. I know thatit's very difficult disease to deal with, especially for someone who's kindof a fixer and wants to make everything better right right. You know you haveto understand that you can't always make everything better for the personyeah, and that was a that was a tough lesson to learn too. You know becauseearly on I wanted to fix it. You know I wanted to you know I would go e Thir, O doctors. I stillgo with heredactors appointments, but I would go and you know be all full of bluster andeverything wanting to get you know wanted to fix her right right Y, afinally one day at Click as like. Well, I can't fix this. You know only she canfix it. What I need to do is be there for her and whatever way she needs so anyway by May two thousand and onewe were dating and we were married August. Third Wa Nice, that's actually like a verytraditional kind of romance cycle. It sounds like so it's interesting becausewhen we think of ourselves as unusual or abnormal or disordered, but it's nice to hear a story of like anormal romance kind of develop between two people. So but Joe do you have likemental health diagnosis of any kind? Nothing. I would consider official. Ihave anxiety issues and I do have prescription for medication. You know for one forthose days that I do feel you know just anxious yeah forand, butbut I don't take it that often yeah I generally I can. I can keep a prettygood handle on it. He's had a little bit of depressionhere and there, but yeah it's been primarily it's not one of those things where itcan be for those of us with bypolar, where somebody's like. Why are youdepressed and you have absolutely no idea, usually his tems from you- know aloss or a death in one of our families or something like that. He doesn't getreally. The random t e the mood swinng, a the random don say, mood spings,because I get mood swings yeah, but you know I'll. It's there's more reasoningbehind it. I guess you could say then, then not so you know I've. I don't know I mean I have a doctor'sappointment tomorrow and you know I actually had a really bad depressiveepisode a couple weeks back. So I'm going to talk with her about it and you know kind of get some insight andsee what she wants me to do. You know, but it sounds like you'reable, you're more open than most other men. I talk to about mental healthissues. Do you think that's in part because you live with Beccathit's? Absolutely because I live with Bacca. You know I being with her for Goy. This August is going to beseventeen years, babe being with her...

...that long, seeing the rollercoasterthat she's been on with her life and being with her through everything. It's helped me to recognize that and myself and in others that wecome to young and we've had family and friends. Come to US asking our advice now. You know, whichwas part of the reason that she wrote the book part of the reason that we dothe podcast. You know we realize that we want to help people and so yeah it for me, it helps me nowbecause now I can you know it's not a one way street. It's a two way street.You know if she's having a bad day, she'll message me while I'm at work orshe'll call me Andsa Hay, I'm not having a good day and I'll try and talkher through it, and now I can do the same thing with her. You know if I'mhaving you know a bad day, for whatever reason I can talk with her and andshe'll help me through it as well. That's so great at's, so great, and youmentioned the book. So let's talk about that a bit so term becca under the nameRebecca Rebecca La Bardo. She just goes by Becca Lambardo on twitter. If you'relooking for there Beka, she rode a book called it's, not your journey and let'stalk about C. I mean just tell me if you don't want to get too deep into anyof these things, but I think you like to share so I'd like to hear about what brought you to attempt totake your life. Well, it was a lot of things, a lot ofthings that I was kind of. Let letting build up inside me and I wasn't dealingwith Er processing and you know it started back with my mom's death andthen you know my brother died on my birthday.Two Thousand and eleven life is so cool that way, yeah and I knew that my depression was gettingworse, but I was kind of trying to we. I had like a home multilevel marketingbusiness from one of those companie selling like handles and stuff likethat, and I was really throwing myself into that and I was doing great with itand suddenly I started to kind of tank it like. Igot into a fight with the women that were on the team that I had and the COMP I made the mistake of callingone of the girls at Bitch and the company called me and reamed meout, and it was just kind of a breaking point. When I got that phone call. Iknow it all sounds kind of silly, but when you combined it all together andyou're, not processing- or you know talking to anybody about it, it becomesvery big and like a giant weight on your shoulders yeah, that's just oneaspect of what she was going through, H re. There was a lot more behind that, but that was that it'salmost like that was o. That was the result of the other things I get to thesame point. I don't know if it's Hypomania or intense depression. Thatmakes me lash out in anger, but yeah thereare, definitely times where the the week's worth of events willculminate and me writing the wrong sentence in email to a boss, andsometimes that might get me fired, and it's like well, no actually, yeah. Ofcourse, I would have thought of it differently. Had the prior six days nothappened right, yeah life just sumes An- and I don't know if it's people withbipolar, particularly bbecause, a lot of people, don't have a way to eventsand get their emotions out as they're coming through, like we tend to blockthem up and keep them to ourselves, because I got other shit to do and thatperson doesn't really want to listen to this so yeah. I know I'm particularthat sounds so familiar to me and I know there's so much. Building up it'sTEC. EA, like I said, that's just the end- result surface stuff, yeah, that'sthe what you see, but so much cause that yeah, it's a pressure cooker. Youknow it's just rather broke the camels back. You know rosly yeah and honestlycalling someone a bitch, that's pretty mild. I mean you know as well as I do.There's plenty of people that are out in the streets waving knives aroundgetting shot by police because they're...

...just lost their bind. Momentar I meanyou know tha it can. It could rap up so high that people literally die so forone. I guess Jeez, I'm glad you really you're here still, because all of thatit doesn't really matter how you got to the point of engaging with suicideideation, but once you're to that point it doesn't matter it's just such a bad,dark lonely place to be, and I'm glad y made it back now, you're, not the onlyone yeah. I sure it was. It wasn't easy at all, and you know I I used to practice. Well, I'mrecovering from self injury about five years now, yeah D it'll be it'll, befive years June yeah. What's that like as an adult,I worked in a Juvenil Hall and I remember the kids would scratchthemselves with paper clips, for example, and if anybody's listening,that's a trigger warning, then obviously fast forward, this episodeand Baca. You don't have to talk about that if you don't want to, but I'm justcurious as an adult. Does that manifest itself differently than when you ereyounger? No, not for me it doesn't it's prettymuch the same. It becomes an obsession to a degree. You know once you've gotthe urges and for me personally, what would happen isI would visualize it and the the image would not leave myhead and I just was constantly obsessing and at first the whole thingmakes you feel better. You know, and then, when you're donewith it and you're, looking back at how you quote unquote failed, then you feel even worse now you're inpain and on you know the physical level and the emotional level, and then youfeel like you've, let everybody down, and it just makes you want to do itmore wel yeah get caught in that dishust down with spiral yeah, but backwhen she first explained it to me to help me understand what she was whereher mindset was. is she would be in in such intenseemotional pain that she had no way of expressing it? So hurting herself wouldbe the physical manifestation of that emotional pain, but then she would beso ashamed about doing it that she couldn't show anybody Yep. So so nobodywas seeing it anyway worse and that's how the cycle would form you know she'dfeel worse. She would do it she'd feel even more worse, yeah, that's a word.The same yeah th then shames she would hide it, which became like her ownlittle game underneath the surface. Nobody sees it, nobody hears about it,you hide it with your shirt sor. You know you cover up the scratches orwhatnot. That's that's pretty insidious, but you know. I wonder because F whenyou explain it to me, it sounds romantic in my head because I don't, Idon't mind, pain and I always think back to people who, like gettingtattoos every time. I've got a tattoo, I'm like Oh yeah, there's a release ofendorphins from receiving so much pain at once and, of course like when you'redone with that Tattoo you're magically absolved of the guilt, because, like Ohhey, I'm cool, I got a tattoo, but I wonder if there's something in there,because there's definitely something to that pain. Distracting you from yourlife and if you know the pain is not going to kill you like you're, notsawing off your leg or anything, but I wonder if there's something at ourbrains that triggers just the release of the of the endorphins or somethingthat we need that we're unable to get elsewhere. Yeah. That's part of the theory behindself injury that you know, I've learned over the years is that it releases theendorphins and gives you that you know. I don't know how to explainit relief so to speak, it's AAIT's a release, it's a release, and it you know it's difficult. It's IAR ISIT's a constant struggle. Youknow you get the images in your mind or the feeling like you're. So for me itwas always started out with anxiety. I would be super super anxious in theonly way to call myself was to self harm.

Welso yeah. It's been a constantstruggle, but yeah I'm grateful for the last few years of of recovery beingcleaned yeah, and you know the the thing with her incident five years ago and what was you know that she wasn'tspecifically trying to and her life yep per se it was. Shewanted to end the pain yeah. She was in a lot of pain, an at a dark place, and that's all that she wanted. Youknow and at the time her mindset was. You know if I'm not here anymore well,everybody'll be better off yeah and you O. my pain is done and you know I'm you know, and you know people at the time accused herof being a coward of being selfish of all this stuff. How coul she do this tome. How could she do this to her family, all those horrible stuff- and you knowthe thing is- is number one you don't get to ask that?That's right! You don't! You know. This is a thing between her and I and her andher family, and you know the you don't like it fine leaf. You knowyeah change the Chanyou're, not you're, not gonna, be there to support herthrough this to ask her how and why she's in that much pain. To begin with,to do that, you know when you're, in the the throws of that you're notrationally. Thinking about you know how this is going to affectthat other person. You're thinking, I don't want to be in pain anymore. Idon't want to hurt the people, I love anymore, and if I'm not here, I can'thurt them right. You know, that's the thing right. It's like our perceptionof our lives. Impact on others is skeward because of our disorder. So alot of times when we don't think of suicide, as you know, escapism at all,we think of it as ending two problems at once: I'm ashame and I'm a burden onmy family and I'm also in pain and internally. You know tortured so hey.If I end this, I don't really want to die, but it seems like the best optionsof all that I can think of and I'm a reasonably intelligent person. So whenyou, when you start to kind of intellectualize the whole idea ofsuicide, it gets really dangerous right there, because you're both clearlyspart people and you can rationalize things. But if you start rationalizingthe negative side of things, it could go downhill really quickly. Yeah true, you know, and you know onceshe saw the other side of it, and you know how everybody actually did care abouther. You know, then you know, then she rasd and she felt bad. Obviously aboutthat, and you know I was never angry with her about it. You know I was nevermad. I was never you know. How could you do this to me? I felt terribly about the whole situation,and all I wanted to do was help er pick upa pieces and you know start over. You know, that's where my mindset was forthe book comes into, you know, got out of a horrible hospital situation andthen started my blog, which was very freeing and a lot of people liked it and said itwas good. So eventually, I began to explore theoption of turning a blog into a book and you know the rest of his history.Well, that's how I did that. So back up a step. What made your hospitalexperience so sucky! You got an hour, yeah th! The original place was justour you know. We actually live in between a firestation, an a hospital inthe hospitals. Literally five minutes from us. You can walk to it, so it started out there and you know I wasunder Suicide Watch. While I was there...

...for about four days, thiy, wouldn't letme shower anything and then they came to me and said you know the the factthat the matter is because of what you've done. thes state is having youcommitted, and they told me about this- this oneplace that was an hour away yeah and it sounded like a nice place. We looked itup online and everything and it seemed really nice. The problem was, they were they didn't have power for the sameperiod of time where I needed to be admitted, so they found this otherwater literally were out of power. Yeah Yeah Thei power went down yeah my GoshYeah. I remember if there was a storm that the lost potorn hat, that what hadhappened, yeah but yeah th. They physically lost power, it's God so thatcouldn't you yeah, so they couldn't accommodate her plus, I think they'retrying to get it by the time they got a free bed for her. That's when they lostpower yeah. So they sent her to this other place indowntown detra in the heart Wollwasn't down Tabit. It was in the heart ofDetroit in an area where you don't want to be, and the hospital was just it was.It was a horrific experience. I mean I had to be stripp shirt searched when Igot there e trater like a criminal, they did andthere are people there that were freaking out. While I was being youknow, they did the intake part, and there are people screaming in thehallway and fighting in the hallway, and if they didn't calm down, they gavehim a shot and just threw thim in this empty room, and they just like laid onthe floor and drooled like a straight up loony bin Ayeah. The thing youimagine from a kid when they say Youe Goingto, the crazy hospital. That'swhat that sounds like it's exactly what it was Om women who kept taking poopout of her toilet and smaring it on people's door handles, and you know itjust. I can't even Ruve it. I can't even- andthankfully I was only in there about four days, but you know it was fourdays too long it w as it felt like forever, and that's a good learningmoment this. I had the same conversation with the person over theweekend who had gone through something similar and we both concurred with whatyou're saying now is, if yeah it just basically the worst part aboutattempting suicide or getting to that level, is actually going to the mentalhospital. It's just it's either boring or miserable or scary, or designed tomake you crazier. It's just like what the fuck. This is not going to helpanything. So we came to the conclusion that note we're not going to try tocommit suicide ever because we don't want to go back to that in that house.Yeah yeah, that's a that's a big force for me too. That's always in the backof my mind, you know I finally got to a stage where suicide doesn't seem likean answer for me and that's a big part of it is my most recent experience atthe hospital and I'll. Never I'll, never get that way again. Yeah Yeahealready, the irony of that shitty healthcare can actually Carre you from one. One piece of themental health puzzle is like Yep Anyway. I don't want to be little suicide oranything, but for those who ever thought of it- oryou know- hopefully not thinking of it now, but if you have ever and didn'tquite make it to the hospital part. Consider yourself lucky. The hospitalpart is just miserable yeah sure. So then, so you wrote the book, it's notyour journey. People can pick that up on Amazon. Look for it's, not yourjourney from Rebecca Lambardo and then the Internet came around and andtwitter happened right. You guys got on the twitter a few years back more so her than me, I'm a bit of alate bloomer to it. I kept shrying it and I kept gettingconfused. I didn't understand Hash tags and it all seemed like a bunch ofJibbrish, but once I started to figure outexactly what was going on, then it became a valuable platform yeah thenshe was like. Oh, this is great. I'm...

...like I don't get it. You know Iin Sudoing, because you have the ability to talk to famous people is' that a opdrig when t when it actually happens. It just makes you it's like feeding anaddiction. It just makes you want to do more twitter jot. I got A. I got totell you this because you'll appreciate this. I have talked to Dave Mostan ontwitter. Oh Nice, Yeah Tas an interesting character, yeah, that's oneway of putting it and he yeah. We were talking about the Netflix, Dare DevilTV show, because the first season come out and he hadn't seen it yet, and Iwas just talking ou because I know how much of a punisher Fann he is, and Iknew punisher was going to be in season two. So but anyway the I adgress twinter. No,that's fun! I do the same thing. You Know Maria Banford. She has bipolar and she has this fanshe's a standup comic and she has a show called lady dynamite. If you guyshave netflix check out lady dynamite, it's like basically her life as a bipolar person. It's amazing. So she was remember years ago. Maybe less than tenor so target had O. add where a lady with the red sweater would likehyperactive running around like manic shopping waiting for targets to open that AI sounds vaguely familiar. YeahBot, see it on old, O Youtube ads or something like that so y. But that wasthis comic name, Maria Bamford and apparently during those period she wasmannic and in her new kind of story of her life, Meta comic series. Theyretail that story target is now called paychecks and but they talk about howthey harness her when she's Manick and then when she's depressed, they stillwant more from her. So it was really interesting. Just like Oh yeah thathappened and that happened and part of the series she goes back to deluth whatshe calls her blue period. So the whole Tinth of the screen is blue, so youknow that she's jumping in time anyway, the Nhat effecwas, a she's like famousbi polar person and when she respons to me on twitter directly or answers likea question that I could tell like. Oh that's, a human, a human actually wrotethat I guess I it super excited. So I bean you're right, wwitter, definitelylevels the plaing field in a really cool way, yeah and then so you discoveredhashtaks right or you made up Pash tags or you just discovere the power of them yeah, that's basically it for thelongest time. I just I would I would I was one of thosepersons that would do Hashtag. I don't know if this isworking. Let me know if you're going Ta, you know yeah s really long ones andyeah. I didn't it didn't understand that nobody was going to be looking formy you know to Hart sentence right right that single Hashtag- I don't knowif many people know that, though, because like novice users, don't oftenrealize if you click on a Hashtag on twitter it'll, take you to a new pagewith everybody talking about that Hashtag. So if he didn't know thatcheck it out, that's why it's also like you said it's silly when, because Iknow a lot of people there's a certain type of person that will hashtakeanything like. Oh my God, I don't have any milk for my Cherios Hashtag, nomilk for cheerios ut. If you go click, no milk, forcherios, there's like oneHashtag in the whole world that says that. But if you go to a cool one, ifyou make up a cool one and kind of dirture, the Hashtag over the years,you' really created a nice database of quotes and links and all that sort ofthing yeah. So how do you come o Lin, Gon time to figure that out and whenyou decided to make one? Why did you make it the one that you ended upmaking it like? How did you come up with the name? was there any deepthought involved or he like a Fuckit? Let's just call it this there. I wouldn't say there was deepthought involved, but basically, what I did was I went to shoot. I can't remember the website now:It's just I'v just roun a blank, but it's a website where you can basicallybuy hashtags. You become the the...

...creator and t e, the holder of Hashtags,and you pay a very small minimal fee and it becomes your Hashtag and I knewfrom peers on twitter that hashshaks couldbe really powerful. I've watched, you know, stigma fighters and the not ashamed project and no stigmas, nostigmais right and just you know, and the stigma campaign and all of thatstuff. So I realized that they could be very powerful, so I started thinking Iwould get. I would pay for the Pashtak keeptalking, because I felt like that was br broad enough that it wouldn't narrowpeople down so much to say just by polar disorder. They would be able totalk about whatever conditions they were dealing with, but that was taken.So then I just tacked on the MH on the end of it and it wasn't taken and oh it was called the sites called twubs,wwwt tw, U Bscom, Huh, it's still around Huh Twescom and you cun dwepregister kind of like registherowing a star in your name. You cald register aHashtag in your name exactly and that's what I did with keep talking mh andit's just really blossoms from there and I'm so excited about how manypeople that use it and it's funny because you know she did this like ayear ago. Now it's been a while. It's been a while and whence she got on there. Her first bigidea was e. want to get this thing Trent, you know trending, I want totrend. I wanted the trend and you know she's trying her little hardout to getthis thing to trend and no matter what she did. It wouldn't come up in the actual. You know how yeah o theleft, search and the Yeah Al, the trending ones, and she got bummed out,I'm like and I'm looking are going but babe. Do you realize how many peopleare using your Hash tag right now? You know and it kept spreading, andthen we started seeing famous people using it and it was like. Oh my gosh.This is becoming a thing yep. You know yeah in the way you named it, I think,is important. I come from like a marketing an advertising backgroundfrom the old days and a lot of times when people have a message, especiallywhen it's activism, the message tends to be anti something like no more gunsor whata. You know whatever the thing is of the moment, so I think t's. It'sreally cool that you guys made the Hash Tag, both proactive and a verb. So it'snot like it's not like fuck suicide or all that kind of stuff. Because I meanthat's not something I can do. I can't suicide is not a thing and if it were,I couldn't go. Do that to it every day it doesn't really make sense in thebrain, but what you're saying with the Hashtag keep talking mh as the reminder,but none theless keep talking. I think it's great, because that is the onething that will keep somebody from actually killing themselves. You cannotkill yourself while you're talking yeah. That's that's very true. You knowOtthatand, it's broad enough that it encompasses all of mental health, a mental illness.You knowand. That was, that was the goal. You know it's not just byPolarits, not just depression. It's you know o CD. It's did it's anxiety, that's good! You! You name it! You knowif it's tied to mental health in some way, we should be talking about it. You knowour goal and our goal with the podcast too is to to you know we keep saying Git get theword Oun on, but just to break the sticg an make it socially acceptable totalk about it and, more importantly, not have it be demonized. You know, and this e one problem that we've got goingon right now immediately. Is this whole talk of guns and gun control, and you know there's a certain side of thisthatis trying to spin it as a demonization of mental illness.You know the chief chief among us, our...

...attorney generals, trying to do that.You know, and it's like cut it out. You know, don't demonize it but help those that need it get the help.You know yeah provide esify Ye. You know that kind of thing exactly youknow, don't don't limit the treatment that people need and insistthat people that want to buy guns do get. You know testing for it. You know,and that's the thing hat that kills me and I'm going to say this- really quickand get off my soapbox because it drives me nuts and we try really hardenough to talk politics on our shows. That's that's funny. Let me stop rightthere because everybody I listen to that. Has a mental health podcast saysthey try not to talk about podcat politics, but we do and honestly, Ithink it's important, because we are humans in this world, like everybodyelse that votes, and I think it's critical- that we vote on our ourissues. So, yes, this is true. This is true. My my whole thing at it is, youknow for those of us that think those those people out there that think you WL, we had the march on Saturday- and you know it's all about banning guns.We don't want to ban guns, okay, we're not asking for full arm BANDOF gunswhen no asking for a repeal. The Second Amendment where all we want to do ishave some tighter regulations, make it a little harder to get hem. You know, do universal background checks. DoMental Health checks? You know if you go and get a car and you're driving acar, you have to have it. You have to pass a driver's license test right andyou have to do that. O have to go back for a renewal everyfive years. You know and that's a car and those guys like to bring up well,you can kill people with cars yeah, but you also have to jump through a bunchof hoops to get one in the first place. Yeah Thet were regulated still and theysto the well regular depart. If you want to have a militia well, regulatedmilitia would mean not allowing crazies into your club. No, no exactly you know.So that's all we're asking for you know just concede a little bit. Every otherthing that's out there has protections, has has rules and has this and that youknow we're all protected by the first amembent, but you can't run into amovie theater and Yell Fire Right Exact, that's not protected, you know, butaccording to their argument, yeah you can run to a movie theater and do thatbecause it's your First Amendment right. You know why doesn't he second monmentget the same thing? Okay, I'M GETTING OFF MY SOAPBOX! No more! SecondAmendment! Let's go in! That's a super valid point, though, because if we'vegot mental health advocates and activists saying you know tighteneddown on our own people, then that's saying something and if you've got theNRA in no don't listen to the crazy people, we don't need to tighten downthe crazy people. It's just. The whole thing is like we're in Lalaland butyeah. I digress. Let's get back to but yeah so anyway, and but on your point,if you have a mental illness, don't hesitate to talk, politics engage inpolitics and vote for the people that support funding for mental healthinitiatives, whether or not you're opposed to guns or not. That's really,not not the issue at Rightand as much as use some of that money to help thesick right exactly. You know, you know we're talking about it andwe're trying to get the word out more. You know, but we also need the funding.We need the help we need. You know psychiatrists andpsychologists that are compassionate, that are caring. That will listen to to t listen to us. A they'll take anactive interest in treating us. You know back doctor in twenty twenty yearsto finally find a good doctor, yeah and she's and she's awesome and she listensand she cares to what Beck goes through. You know. Well, I guess the mainproblem is that people are way more...

...expensive than pills. You know becausethat that's always been the key with me. It's easy to find a doctor, toprescribepills of one day sor or the other. It's much more difficult, not only to find atherapist at all, but to find one that that could actually help that's a goodfit so yeah. I hear it and then all just cost money. If people don't wantcrazy people running around the countryside, you know sleeping on the street corneror if they believe crazy people are shooting up schools. If you don't wantthat happening, then fund mental health initiatives- that's all yeah yeah, sowe got like four minutes left. Let's, let's hype, some more things for youguys, because I love hiping things. So: okay, sothe listener, againbeccalonbardo under Rebecca Lambardo wrote it's not your journey availableon Amazon, that's awesome and then you can always join Jo, Rebecca Myself. Allof the other Castiv characters on twitter just by finding the Hash Tag,keep talking. Mh Click on that and you'll see us there and if you don'tsee us ye'll see plenty of other people using it and feel free to Hashtagthings when you bring it up, like, like Joe said, any kind of mental healthissue, because I think a lot of these are still in the kind of introductoryprocess of scientific discovery. I don't think most scientists know whatbi polar disorder is borderline personality disorders,andother, strong, connected disorder to by polar a lot of people have both ofthose and don't realize it or know it just because doctors haven't talkedabout it and I definitely have anxiety, disorders, post, traumatic stress. Youknow, there's very few things once you start peeling the onion back that yourealize you don't have, so I can pociate that keep talking mhkind of spreads out and lets everybody on the spectrum communicate with eachother to let each to let us know that we're not alone, basically yep yeah its huge an then do you guysgo to DBSA groups. Just out of curiosity, do you know what that is?Yes, I do know what it is. I have not been, I just haven't: Planens haven't Havn't daligned, but cool. Yes, I do. I do know what that is.Yeah they're, pretty fun is so. If anybody out there is a solo, a singledoesn't have a partner tried, the Dbssa for ty depression, bipolar supportalliance. To me, maybe you mede a partner there. I want to do an episodeof a podcast about mental health dating like people withmental health issues dating other people with mental health issues. It'syeah. That would be a good topic because, like an part of me, says wellat least that person understands me, but on the other half you have societyout there going. No those fuckers shouldn't breed so somewhere in betweenis is maybe equilibrium, but I'm always curious about that guys. Working on what like how's yourlife, like are you going to do different projects? Is the project. Thepersistent like keep the keep talking, mh passtag going like persist with thatyour your book, offsor you're, always promoting the book, and then you havethe podcast to promote the book. You do one other things, so let me get thatclear. So what is voices for change to? Oh, that's! Your podcast name y changeto Pint oit's version to point. Oh because we started out with one networkand we left that network and start with a new one. So yeah we had todistinguish the two but shout out to left of straight radio network. Yes,absolutely obstraight! I like that. That's a network like a they assembledpodcasts of similar tastes. I guess Saow Day they are in Lgbtq network andyou know we one thing that we prad ourselves on is we're allies. You know m sure weabsolutely support the LGBTQ community. You know again one thing that I'vealways struggled with my entire life is discrimination. I don't I don't get itin any of its forms. You know so you...

...know by all means we support Lgbtq, and you know ourpreduser Scott is an awesome guy and we love Hem. You know he's become a goodfriend of others, and why do you bring him up? Is He gay? Is He awesome gay? He is bossom Kayhe's an awesome, gay all right, Scott thanks fo for help man yeah. He is, heis big, bear of a man and, like I said, welove them, he's a hell of a guy, and you know we're grateful to him forgiving us a platform to do a we. We wouldn't still be doing it if itweren't for him, that's all yeah and his enthusiasm and everything so yeah.He takes everything in stride, so we're I I'm in San Francisco, you speak of mylanguage, brother sister.

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