John | Podcasting
John | Podcasting

Episode · 4 years ago

Keep Talking Mental Health! Beka and Joe Lombardo, Bipolar Style

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

John Emotions talks with Beka and Joe Lombardo from the Voices for Change 2.0 podcast on their relationship as a mental health 'power couple,' Beka's book 'It's Not Your Journey,' and the origins of their #KeepTalkingMH hashtag. Trigger warning; self-harm

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And now it's online Bible this stylecom yes, John Emotions, with Bible style. Hey, what's up? Thanks for letting me back in your head. I appreciate you subscribing to the bipolar style podcast. Today is an especially cool day. I had kind of a rough weekend. If you want to hear about that, I whine about it over at Johnny Emotionscom. Here on bipolar's style, however, welcome Becca and Joe Lombardo from Detroit USA. They together are both mental health advocates and are responsible for the Hashtag keep talking, mh. So what's up, guys? Thanks for joining me. I appreciate you being here. Hey, thank you for having us. Yeah, absolutely, thanks for thanks for welcoming US onto your humble little show. Appreciate it. So, Joe and I go back. We had a little conversation beforehand to hopefully get the guy talk out of the way, but I remembered that you guys are like the power couple of mental health. But I only bring that up because Joe's twitter Hashtag, twitter handle, is power slave one thousand nine hundred and seventy four, which is awesome because I'm a huge iron maiden fan. In fact, I'm wearing a Derek Riggs original shirt right now. I'll have to show it to Y. I'll take a picture of it. Nice. That's all. Which one is it? It's one you haven't seen. He did it for an autism an autism fundraiser, and it's got Eddie with his the top of his head exploding into puzzle pieces. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, it's amazing, I say. Yeah, I look to see a picture of that. I saw him at a comic con kind of place. He was hanging out there drawing pictures for people and he drew a little Eddie in the coffee table book I got. So yeah, anyway, Joe and I are huge metal fans. So all that aside, maybe I have some metal music playing underneath us right now. That explains it. So let's get let's get back to I know, I know, if we keep talking metal much more, backs eyes are going to glaze over because she's not exactly the the metal fan that you and I are. Some metal stuff that I'm into, but not not man, not everything he listens to. I know. I just buy the TSHIRTS for Christmas. FROTHER, that is a firm supporter. I appreciate that. Yeah, that's that's the extent of their support, though, is that I can't get her to listen to any of it. In if I play runder the hills, she gets mad at me because it's stuck in her head for three days. You were lucky to have found one that will stay with you. I am most of my metal friends are single, especially when you're still in the metal at our age. They're like, okay, dude, all right, have grown up yet? No, not yet. Toys arrest is closing. Damn it. Okay, started on that. So Hey, I wanted to. So both of you are like a mental health power couple now, but obviously you came from different paths. You're from the same geography. You're both from Detroit area. If what did mental health issues bring you together, or did you come together and kind of discover your each each other's backstory after the fact? It was as a good questions after the fact. I mean we met. It's funny. We when AOL first started, you know America Online first started, they had penpal features where you could pick an area of the, you know, United States to be a penpal with somebody, and I was picking Michigan people because I want you know, with the hopes of meeting them some day. And that's how we met, was through AOL on a pen pal thing, Yep, which is why we still have AOL email addresses to this day. And embarrassingly, yeah, her email isn't quite as bad, but mine going on forty four next month. It's embarrassing on a lot of levels and I have to clarify that with everybody I give it to now, you know. But it's almost...

...like a retro kitch kind of thing down, don't you think? Because a lot of people are actually getting landlines again, like after not having had a landline for five or six years. So just tell them like, yeah, this is rare. Man, we went talking about the old school. It's like your hipsters, grow a Goateee, put on some flannel, get you well, I got go tea part down. I'm good. They're halfway to hipster flannels warm. So so, yeah, the pen pals, Oh that's neat. Yeah, we're pen pals. And then we met in person and we are schedules were too different at the beginning, like he lived on the other side of town. Yep, you know, we just couldn't seem to connect. So we kind of let it go. And then, yeah, a while later it was like maybe of one thousand nine hundred and ninety eight. We will what happened. Was Not was okay, I'm going to let people in on something that they may or may not be aware of. Yeah, and this is something that we don't talk about a lot. One back and I first met due to my own ignorance on the subject, I knew that she had bipolar disorder and she would do things self harm and whatnot. I never kept it from anybody. I was. She didn't. She was very upfront with it and it I was. You knew what it was. Becca, back then you were diagnosed already. Yeah, I was diagnosed at age nineteen. Yeah, okay, and I'll be honest with you. It it scared me and so I, in my ignorance and in my I'm ashamed to say, I I ran away. You know, I didn't know what to do, how to take if I was going to be strong enough to be able to be there for her. And we had met. It was we had met in person summer of ninety nine and stop talking. And then about March of two thousand and one, we reconnected and, you know, we would still talk here and there and she couldn't ever really figure out why I had left back then. And eventually I was asked with her and I told her. And what you really scared of the bipolar, or do you think I might have just been scared of being in love? I didn't understand it, okay, and I and honestly, I needed to grow up, I needed to mature a little bit. And and you know, during the whole time that we were apart, I still thought about her. I thought about her a lot and I wondered how she was and I was concerned for knowing what she had been going through and that she had been in bad relationships previous. And so we started, actually we started hanging out. It wasn't two thousand and one. It was because we went to that wrestling thing in August. Yeah, one of the things that brought us together was our love of wrestling. All right. Yeah, so it was like August the two thousand and we went to a wrestling show and it was her and I had a couple of my band members, band I was at the time, and a friend of hers, and after that we kind of kept talking stay in contact and that March of two thousand and one. We started seeing a little bit more of each other and, you know, I was really trying to open myself up to who she was as a person and getting past what she was dealing with, you know, and realizing that this woman was just amazing, she was incredible, she was funny, she was beautiful, she was intelligent, she was everything that I was looking for and I wasn't going to let an affliction that she was dealing with come between that. I was going...

...to embrace it and be her rock for her, because I needed one, she needed one and I needed her, you know. So, yeah, we don't talk about that very early time that much, but yeah, that's so. I don't blame him for that, you know. You know I don't. I don't sit around and think about, well, he screwed me one day, or whatever it's. I I understand I lost a lot of friends and, you know, I would have, say I had a friend come over to watch movies and I would leave my stack of pill bottles out on the shelf of my in my bedroom and they would see that and I would never see them again. Yeah, you know, so as I was on so many meds at that point and you know. So I don't. I never I didn't understand where he had gone and where it went wrong, but I didn't hold it against him because, you know, deep down inside I know that it's very difficult this cease to deal with, especially for someone who's kind of a fixer and wants to make everything better, right, right, and you know, you have to understand that you can't always make everything better for the person. Yeah, and that was it. That was a tough lesson to learn to you know, because early on I wanted to fix it. You know, I wanted to you know, I would go with her two doctors, when I still go with her doctor's appointments, but I would go and, you know, be all full of bluster and everything, wanting to get her you know, wanted to fix her right, right. Yeah, and finally one day it click. It's like, well, I can't fix this, you know, only she can fix it. What I need to do is be there for her and whatever way she needs. So, anyway, by May two thousand and one, we were dating and we were married August. Third we nice. That's actually like a very traditional kind of romance cycle, it sounds like. So it's interesting because when we think of ourselves as unusual or abnormal or disordered. But it's nice to hear a story of like a normal romance kind of developed between two people. So, but Joe, do you have like mental health diagnosis of any kind? Nothing I would consider official. I have anxiety issues and I do have a prescription for medication, you know, for one for those days that I do feel, you know, she's anxious. Yeah, and but I don't take it that off. And Yeah, I generally I can. I can keep a pretty good handle on it. Um, he said, a little bit of depression here and there, but yeah, it's been primarily it's not one of those things where it can be for those of us with bipolar where somebody's like why are you depressed and you have absolutely no idea. Usually his stems from, you know, a loss or a death and one of our families or something like that. He doesn't get really the the random, the the mood suit. Yeah, the random, mostly mood swings, because I get mood swings. Yeah, but you know, I'll it's there's more reasoning behind it, I guess you could say. Um, then not. So, you know, I've don't know. I mean I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and you know, I actually had a really bad depressive episode a couple weeks back. So I'm going to talk with her about it and, you know, kind of get some insight and see what she wants me to do. You know, but it sounds like you're able. You're more open than most other men I talked to about mental health issues. Do you think that's in part because you live with Becca? It's absolutely because I live with Becca. You know, I being with her for for guy, this August is going to be seventeen years baby, being with her that long, seeing the roller coaster...

...that she's been on with her life and being with her through everything. It's helped me to recognize that in myself and in others that we come to, you know, and we've had family and friends come to US asking our advice now, you know, which was part of the reason that she wrote the book, part of the reason that we do the podcast. You know, we realize that we want to help people and so, yeah, it for me, it helps me now because now I can you know, it's not a one way street, it's a two way street. You know, if she's having a bad day, she'll message me while I'm at work or she'll call me into Hay I'm not having a good day and I'll try and talk her through it. And now I can do the same thing with her, you know, if I'm having, you know, a bad day for whatever reason, I can talk with her and she'll help me through it as well. That's so great. It's so great. And you mentioned the book, So let's talk about that a bit. So sure, Becca under the name Rebecca, Rebecca Lombarne. She just goes by Becca Lombardo on twitter. If you're looking for there, be Eka. She wrote a book called it's not your journey, and let's talk about I mean, just tell me if you don't want to get too deep into any of these things, but I think you like to share, so I'd like to hear about what brought you to attempt to take your life. Well, it was a lot of things, a lot of things that I was kind of let letting build up inside me and I wasn't dealing with her processing. And you know, it started back with my mom's death and then, you know, my brother died on my birthday in two thousand and eleven. Life is so coul that way. Yeah, and I knew that my depression was getting worse, but I was kind of trying to we I had like a home multilevel marketing business from one of those companies selling like candles and stuff like that, and I was really throwing myself into that and I was doing great with it and suddenly I started to kind of tank it. Like I got into a fight with the women that were on the team that I had and the company. I made the mistake of calling one of the girls a bitch and the company called me and reamed me out and it was just kind of a breaking point when I got that phone call. I know it all sounds kind of silly, but when you combined it all together and you're not processing or, you know, talking to anybody about it, it becomes very big and it's like a giant weight on your shoulders. Yeah, that's just one aspect of what she was going through there. There was a lot more behind that, but that was that. It's almost like that was that was the result of the other things. I get to the same point. I don't know if it's Hypo mania or intense depression that makes me lash out and anger, but yeah, they're definitely times where the week's worth of events will culminate in me writing the wrong sentence in email to a boss, and sometimes that might get me fired, and it's like well, actually, yeah, of course I would have thought of it differently had the prior six days not happened. Yeah, life just some in and I don't know if it's people with bipolar particularly, because a lot of people don't have a weight of events and get their emotions out as they're coming through. Like we tend to block them up and keep them to ourselves because I got other shit to do and that person doesn't really want to listen to this. So, yeah, I know I'm particular. That sounds so familiar to me and I know there's so much building up. It's that. Yet, like you said, that's just the end results, surface stuff. Yeah, that's the way you see, but so much cause that. Yeah, it's a pressure cooker, you know. It's just strather broke the camels back, you know, perviously. Yeah, and honestly, calling someone a bitch that's pretty mild. I mean, you know as well as I do there's plenty of people that are out in the streets waving knives around, getting shot by police because they're just lost their buying momentary. I mean you know that...

...it can. It could wrap up so high that people literally die. So for one, I guess. Jeez, I'm glad you really you're here still, because all of that, it doesn't really matter how you got to the point of engaging with suicide ideation, but once you're to that point it doesn't matter. It's just such a bad, dark, lonely place to be and I'm glad you made it back. You're not the only one. Yeah, sure it was. It wasn't easy at all. And you know I used to practice. Well, I'm recovering from self injury about five years now. Yeah, and it'll be. It'll be five years in June. Yep. What's that like as an adult? I worked in the juvenile hall and I remember the kids would scratch themselves with paper clips, for example, and if anybody's listening, that's a trigger warning. Than obviously fast forward this episode and back at you don't have to talk about that if you don't want to, but I'm just curious. As an adult, does that manifest itself differently than when you were younger? No, not, for me it doesn't. It's pretty much the same it becomes an obsession to a degree, you know, once you've got the urges. And for me personally, what would happen is I would visualize it and the the image would not leave my head and I just was constantly obsessing. And at first the whole thing makes you feel better, you know, and then when you're done with it and you're looking back at how you, quote unquote, failed, then you feel even worse. Now you're in pain and you know the physical level and the emotional level, and then you feel like you've let everybody down and it just makes you want to do it more. Wow, yeah, get caught in that. It's just downward spiral. Yeah, but back when she first explained it to me to help me understand what she would wear, her mindset was is she would be and in such intense emotional pain that she had no way of expressing it. So hurting yourself would be the physical manifestation of that emotional pain. But then she would be so ashamed about doing it she couldn't show anybody. Yep, so nobody was seeing it anyway. Worse, and that's how the cycle would form. You know, she'd feel worse, she would do it, she'd feel even more worse. Yeah, that's a word the same. Yeah then, yeah, shame. She would hide it, which became like her own little game underneath the surface. Nobody sees it, nobody hears about it. You hide it with your shirts or, you know, you cover up the scratches or whatnot. That's pretty insidious. But you know, I wonder because when you explain it to me, it sounds romantic in my head, because I don't I don't mind pain and I always think back to people who like getting tattoos. Every time I've got a tattoo, I'm like, Oh yeah, there's a release of endorphins from receiving so much pain at once and of course, like when you're done with that Tattoo you're magically absolved of the guilt because like, Oh hey, I'm cool, I got a tattoo. But I wonder if there's something in there, because there's definitely something to that pain distracting you from your life and if you know the pain is not going to kill you, like you're not sawing off your leg or anything. But I wonder if there's something in our brains that triggers just the release of the of the endorphins or something that we need that were unable to get elsewhere. Yeah, that's part of the theory behind self injury that, you know, I've learned over the years is that it releases the endorphins and gives you that you know, I don't know how to explain it, relief, so to speak. It's really now it's a release. It's a release and and it you know, it's difficult, it's it's I could start is, it's a constant struggle. You know, you get the images in your mind or the feeling like you're so for me it was always started out with anxiety. I would be super, super anxious and the only way to calm myself was the self harm. Well, so, yeah, it's been a constant struggle but...

...yeah, I'm grateful for the last few years of recovery being cleaned. Yeah, and you know the thing with her incident five years ago, and what was you know that she wasn't specifically trying to and her life. Yep, per se, it was she wanted to end the pain. Yeah, she was in a lot of pain and a dark place and that's all that she wanted, you know, and at the time her mindset was, you know, if I'm not here anymore. Well, everybody'll be better off. Yeah, and yeah, my pain is done. And you know I'm you know, and you know, people at the time accused her of being a coward, of being selfish, of all this stuff. How could she do this to me? How could she do this to her family? All this horrible stuff, and you know, the thing is is number one. You don't get to ask that. Huh? That's right, you don't. You know, this is a thing between her and I and her and her family, and you know the you don't like it, find, leave, you know it. Change the change. You're not you're not gonna be there to support her through this, to ask her how, how and why she's in that much pain to begin with. To do that, you know, when you're in the the throes of that, you're not rationally thinking about, you know, how this is going to affect that other person. You're thinking, I don't want to be in pain anymore, I don't want to hurt the people I love anymore, and if I'm not here I can't hurt them. Right, you know, that's the thing. Right, it's like our perception of our lives impact on others is skewered because of our disorders. So a lot of times when we don't think of suicide, as you know, escapism at all. We think of it as ending two problems at once. I'm ashamed and I'm a burden on my family and I'm also in pain and internally, you know, tortured. So Hey, if I end this, I don't really want to die, but it seems like the best options of all that I can think of. And I'm a reasonably intelligent person. So when you when you start to kind of intellectualize the whole idea of suicide, it gets really dangerous right there, because you're both clearly smart people and you can rationalize things, but if you start rationalizing the negative side of things, it could go downhill really quickly. Yeah, sure, you know. And you know once she saw the other side of it and you know how everybody actually did care about her, you know then, you know, then she realized and she felt bad obviously about that, and you know, I was never angry with her about it. You know, I was never mad. I was never you know, how could you do this to me? I felt terribly about the whole situation and all I wanted to do is help her pick up the pieces and, you know, start over. You know, that's where my mindset, well for a book, comes into you know, got out of a horrible hospital situation and then started my blog, which was very freeing and a lot of people liked it and said it was good. So eventually I began to explore the option of turning a blog into a book and you know, the rest is history. Well, that's I did that. So back up a step. What made your hospital experience so sucky? Well, you got an hour. Yeah, the original place was just our you know, we actually live in between a fire station and a hospital in the hospitals literally five minutes from us. You can walk to it. So it started out there and you know, I was under Suicide Watch while I was there...

...for about four days. I wouldn't let me shower anything, and then they came to me and said, you know, the the fact that the matter is because of what you've done, the state is having you committed, and they told me about this this one place that was an hour away. Yeah, and it sounded like a nice place. We looked it up online and everything and it seemed really nice. The problem was they were they didn't have power for the same period of time where I needed to be admitted. So they found this other we literally we're out of power. Yeah, yeah, the power went down. Yeah, my Gosh. Yeah, I remember there was a storm that they lost power on that that time. What had happened? Yeah, but, yeah, then they physically lost power. It's God. So they couldn't. Yeah, so they couldn't accommodate her. Plus, I think they're trying to get it. By the time they got a free bed for her, that's when they lost power. Yeah, so they sent her to this other place in downtown Detroit, in the heart Ro wasn't downtown, but it was in the heart of Detroit in an area where you don't want to be, and that the hospital was just it was. It was a horrific experience. I mean I had to be striped shirt searched when I got there the treator like a criminal they did. And there are people there that were freaking out while I was being you know, they did the intake part and there are people screaming in the hallway and fighting in the hallway and if they didn't calm down they gave them a shot and just threw them in this empty room and they just like laid on the floor and drooled like a straight up looney bed, every the thing you imagine from a kid when they say you go into the crazy hospital. That's what that sounds like. It's exactly what it was. Was a woman who kept taking poop out of her toilet and smearing it on people's door handles and you know, it just I can't even it. I can't even. And thankfully I was only in there about four days, but you know, it was four days too long. It it felt like forever and that's a good learning moment this. I had the same conversation with the person over the weekend who had gone through something similar, and we both concurred with what you're saying now. Is If, yeah, it just basically the worst part about attempting suicide or getting to that level is actually going to the mental hospital. It's it's either boring or miserable or scary or designed to make you crazier. It's just like, what the fuck, this is not going to help anything. So we came to the conclusion that note we're not going to try to commit suicide ever because we don't want to go back to that. In that house. Yeah, yeah, that's a that's a big force for me too. That's always in the back of my mind. You know, I finally got to a stage where suicide doesn't seem like an answer for me, and that's a big part of it. Is My most recent experience at the hospital and and I'll never I'll never get that way again. Yeah, yeah, they already the irony of that Shitty healthcare can actually cure you from one one piece of the mental health puzzle. It's like, Yep. Anyway, I don't want to belittle suicide or anything, but for those who ever thought of it or you know, hopefully not thinking of it now, but if you have ever and didn't quite make it to the hospital part, consider yourself lucky. The hospital part is just miserable. Yeah, for sure. So then, so you wrote the book it's not your journey. People can pick that up on Amazon. Look for it's not your journey from Rebecca Lombardo. And then the Internet came around and and twitter happened. Right, you guys got on the twitter a few years back, HMM, more so her than me. I'm a bit of a late bloomer to it. I kept trying it and I kept getting confused. They didn't understand hashtags and it all seemed like a bunch of gibberish. And once I started to figure out exactly what was going on, then it became a valuable platform. Yeah, then she was like, Oh, this is great. I'm like, I don't get it. Yeah, I took a suck...

...in because you have the ability to talk to famous people. Is that it? Yep, it's right time. When it when it actually happens, it just makes you it's like feeding an addiction. It just makes you want to do more twitter. Joh, I gotta, I gotta tell you this because you'll appreciate this. I have talked to Dave Mustan on twitter. Oh, Nice, yeah, DA's interesting character. Yeah, that's when are were putting it and he yeah, we were talking about the Netflix Daredevil TV show because the first season to come out and he hadn't seen it yet and I was just talking to because I know how much of a punisher fanny is and I knew punisher was going to be in season two. So, but anyway, I digress. Twitter, now that's fun. I do the same thing. You Know Maria Bamford, she has bipolar and she has the spence. She's a standup comic and she has a show called lady dynamite. If you guys have Netflix, check out lady dynamite. It's like basically her life as a bipolar person. It's amazing. So she was remember years ago, maybe less than ten or so, target had to add where a lady with the red sweater would just like hyperactive, run around like Manic, shopping waiting for target to open. That's all sounds vaguely familiar. Yeah, you might see it on old, old youtube ads or something like that. So, but that was this comic name Maria Bamford, and apparently during those period she was manic and in her new kind of story of her life, Meta Comic Series, they retail that story. Target is now called paychecks and but they talked about how they harness her when she's manic and then when she's depressed they will still want more from her. So it is really interesting just like Oh yeah, that happened and that happened. And part of the series she goes back to Duluth, what she calls her blue period. So the whole tenth of the screen is blue. So you know that she's jumping in time anyway, the NE effect was a she's like famous bipolar person and when she responds to me on twitter directly or answers like a question that I could tell like Oh, that's a human, a human actually wrote that. I guess it's super excited. So I be you're right. Twitter definitely levels the playing field in a really cool way. Yeah, and then, so you discovered Hashtags, right, or you made up hashtags or you just discovered the power of them. Yeah, that's basically it. For the longest time, I just I would, I would. I was one of those persons that would do Hashtag. I don't know if this is working. Let me know if you're going to you know. Yeah, those really long ones. And Yeah, I didn't it. Didn't understand that nobody was going to be looking for my you know, see part sentence right, that single Hashtag. I don't know if many people know that, though, because, like novice users don't often realize if you click on a Hashtag on twitter, it'll take you to a new page with everybody talking about that Hashtag. So if you didn't know that, check it out. That's why it's also, like you said, it's silly wohend, because I know a lot of people. There's a certain type of person that will hashtag anything like, Oh my God, I don't have any milk for my cheerios, Hashtag, no milk for Chereos. But if you go click no milk for Cheerios, there's like one Hashtag in the whole world that says that. But if you go to a cool and if you make up a cool one and kind of nurture the Hashtag over the years, you really created a nice database of quotes and links and all that sort of thing. Yeah, so how did you come? But Long, too long time to figure that out. And when you decided to make one, why did you make it the one that you ended up making it? Like, how did you come up with the name? was there any deep thought involved, or you like a fuck it, let's just call it this. There I wouldn't say there's deep thought involved, but basically what I did was I went to shoot. I can't remember the website now. It's just I'm just your on a blank, but it's a website where you can basically buy Hashtag eggs.

You become the the creator and the the holder of Hashtags and you pay a very small, minimal fee and it becomes your Hashtag and I knew from piers on twitter that hashtags could be really powerful. I've watched, you know, stigma fighters and the not a shamed project and no stigmas, no stigma's right and just you know, and the stigma campaign and all that stuff. So I realized that they could be very powerful. So I started thinking I would get, I would pay for the Hashtag keep talking, because I felt like that was broad enough that it wouldn't narrow people down so much, to say just by polar disorder. They would be able to talk about whatever conditions they were dealing with. But that was taken. So then I just tacked on the MH on the end of it, and it wasn't taken. and Oh it was called the sites called twelves www dot twubscom. That's still around. Huh, twelvecom, and you could taps register, kind of like registering a star on your name. You could register a Hashtag in your name exactly, and that's what I did with keep talking mh, and it's just really blossoms from there and I'm so excited about it. How many people that use it? And it's funny because you know she did this like a year ago now. It's been a while. It's been a while. And once she got on there, her first big idea was, I want to get this thing corunt, you know, trending. I wanted to try and I wanted to trend. And you know, she's trying her little harder to get this thing to trend and no matter what she did, it wouldn't come up in the actual you know how you yeah, are the left search and it's yeah, and all the trending ones, and she got bummed out. I'm like, and I'm looking at going, but babe, do you realize how many people are using your Hashtag right now? You know, and it kept spreading and then we started seeing famous people using it and it's like, oh my gosh, this is becoming a thing. Yep, yeah, yeah, and the way you named it, I think, is important. I come from like a marketing and advertising background from the old days, and a lot of times when people have a message, especially when it's activism, the message tends to be anti something like no more guns, or what about, you know, whatever the thing is of the moment. So I think it's it's really cool that you guys made the Hashtag both proactive and a verb. So it's not like yeah, it's not like fuck suicide or all that kind of stuff, because, I mean, that's not something I can do. I can't. Suicide is not a thing and if it were, I couldn't go do that to it every day. It doesn't really make sense in the brain. But what you're saying with the Hashtag keep talking, mh as the reminder, but nonetheless keep talking. I think it's great, because that is the one thing that will keep somebody from actually killing themselves. You cannot kill yourself while you're talking. Yeah, that's that's very true, you know, and and it's broad enough that it encompasses all of mental health. All Right, mental illness, you know, and that was that was the goal. You know, it's not just bipolar, it's not just depression, it's, you know, OCD, it's did, it's anxiety. Yeah, that's you, you name it. You know, if it's tied to mental health in some way, we should be talking about it. You know, our goal and our goal with the podcast to is to to, you know, we keep saying, get the word out on but just to break the stick and make it socially acceptable to talk about it. And, more importantly, not have it be demonized, you know, and like this. The one problem that we've got going on right now immediately is this whole talk of guns and gun control and, you know, there's a certain side of this that's trying to spin it as a demonization of mental illness. You know, the chief chief among us,...

...our attorney general, was trying to do that, you know, and it's like, cut it out, you know, don't demonize it, but help those that need it get the help. You know, yeah, provided scified. You know, that kind of thing exactly. You know, don't don't limit the treatment that people need and insist that people that want to buy guns do get, you know, testing for it. You know, and that's the thing that that kills me, and I'm going to say this really quick and get off my soapbox, because it drives me nuts. And we try really hard enough to talk politics on our shows. That's that's funny. Let me stop right there, because everybody I listened to that has a mental health podcast says they try not to talk about podkat politics, but we do, and honestly, I think it's important because we are humans in this world, like everybody else that votes and I think it's critical that we vote on our our issues. So, yes, this is true. This is true. My whole thing on it is, you know, for those of us that think those those people out there that think you like, we had the march on Saturday and you know, it's all about banning guns. We don't want to ban guns, okay, we're not asking for a full on band of guns when I asking for a repeal the second amendment. We're all we want to do is have some tighter regulations, make it a little harder to get them. You know, do universal background checks, do mental health checks. You know, if you go and get a car and you're driving a car, you have to have it. You have to pass a driver's license test, right, and you have to do that. You have to go back for a renewal every five years, you know, and that's a car. And those guys like to bring up well, you can kill people with cars, yeah, but you also have to jump through a bunch of hoops to get one of the first place. Yeah, the well regulated still at least do the well regulated part. If you want to have a militia, well regulated militia would mean not allowing crazies into your club. No, no, exactly, you know. So that's all we're asking for, you know, just concede a little bit. Every other thing that's out there has protections, has has rules and has this and that. You know, we're all protected by the First Amendment. But you can't run into a movie theater and Yell Fire. Right, exactly. That's not protected, you know. But according to their argument, yeah, you can run new movie theater and do that because it's your first amendment. Right. You know, why doesn't a second amendment get the same thing? Okay, I'm getting off my soapbox. No more second amendment. Let's go in. That's a super valid point, though, because if we've got mental health advocates and activists say and, you know, tightened down on our own people, then that's saying something. And if you've got the NI saying no, don't listen to the crazy people. We don't need to tighten down the crazy people. It's just the whole thing is like we're in Lala land. But yeah, I digress. Let's get back to them. But yeah, so anyway, and but on your point, if you have a mental illness, don't hesitate to talk politics, engage in politics, and vote for the people that support funding for mental health initiatives. Whether or not you're opposed to guns or not, that's really not not the issue at a right and as much is use some of that money to help the sick. Right exactly, you know. You know we're talking about it and we're trying to get the word out more, you know, but we also need the funding, we need the help. We need, you know, psychiatrists and psychologists that are compassionate, that are caring, that will listen to to the listen to us and they'll take an active interest in treating us. You know, backs doctors and twenty, twenty years to finally find a good doctor. Yeah, and she's and she's awesome and she listens and she cares to what Beck goes through. You know. Well, I guess the main problem is that people are way more expensive than pills, you know,...

...because that that's always been the key with me. It's easy to find a doctor to prescribe pills of one days or the other. It's much more difficult not only to find a therapist at all, but to find one that that could actually help, that's a good fit. So, yeah, I hear it. And then all just cost money. If people don't want crazy people running around the countryside, you know, sleeping on the street corner, or if they believe crazy people are shooting up schools. If you don't want that happening, then fund mental health initiatives. That's all. Yeah, yeah, so we got like four minutes left. Let's let's hype some more things for you guys, because I love hyping things. So okay, so the listener again, Becca Lombardo. Under Rebecca Lombardo wrote it's not your journey of failable on Amazon. That's awesome, and then you can always join Joe, Rebecca, myself all of the other cast of characters on twitter just by finding the Hashtag keep talking, mh. Click on that and you'll see us there, and if you don't see us, we'll see plenty of other people using it. And feel free to Hashtag things when you bring it up, like Joe said, any kind of mental health issue, because I think a lot of these are still in the kind of introductory process of scientific discovery. I don't think most scientists know what bipolar disorder is. Borderline personality disorders another strong connected disorder to bipolar. A lot of people have both of those and don't realize it or know it just because doctors haven't talked about it. And I definitely have anxiety disorders, post traumatic stress. You know this. Very few things, once you start peeling the onion back, that you realize you don't have. So I can appreciate that. Keep talking, MH. That kind of spreads out and let's everybody on the spectrum communicate with each other to let it to let us know that we're not alone. Basically, yeah, yeah, it's huge. Then you guys go to DBSA groups just out of curiosity. Do you know what that is? Yes, I do know what it is. I have not been. I just haven't planets haven't having aligned. But yeah, cool, but yes, I do, I do know what that is. Yeah, they're pretty fun it. So if anybody out there is a solo, a single doesn't have a partner, try the DB Essay for Die Depression bipolar support alliance to me. Maybe you made a partner there. I want to do an episode of a podcast about mental health dating, like people with mental health issues dating other people with mental health issues. HMM, it's yeah, that would be a good topic because, like, in part of me says, well, at least that person understands me. But on the other half you have society out there going no, those fuckers shouldn't breed. So somewhere in between is is maybe equilibrium, but I'm always curious about that. You guys working on what? Like? How's your life like? Are you going to do different projects? Is the project the persistent, like keep the keep talking, mhs, Hashtag going, like persist with that. Your your book. I'll show you're always promoting the book and then you have the podcast to promote the book. You do one other things. So let me get that clear. So what is voices for change to? Oh that's your podcast name. Yeah, change. To point out it's version, because we started out with one network and we left that network and started with a new one. So, Yep, we have to distinguish that. You. But shout out to left of straight radio network. Yes, absolutely, left of straight. I like that. That's a network like a they assembled podcasts of similar taste. I guess, is how they they are in Lgbtq network and you know, we one thing that we pride ourselves on is we're allies. You know, sure, we absolutely support the LGBTQ community. You know, again, one thing that I've always struggled with my entire life is discrimination. I don't I don't get it in any of its forms. You know. So you know by all means we support Lgbtq, and you,...

...our producer, Scott, is an awesome guy and we love them. You know, he's become a good friend of others. And why do you bring him up? Is He gay? Is He awesome gay? He is awesome gay. He's an awesome gay. All right, Scott, thanks for your help. Man. Yeah, he is. He is a big bear of a man and, like I said, we love them. He's a hell of a guy and you know, we're grateful to him for giving us a platform to do it we do. We wouldn't still be doing it if it weren't for him. That's all. Yeah, and his enthusiasm and everything. So, yeah, he takes everything in stride. So we're in yeah, I'm in San Francisco. You speak of my language, brother sister, cheese and five joy that, excuse me, by other quality.

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