Emo Dojo
Emo Dojo

Episode · 2 years ago

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

John, Jack, and Nick have a casual conversation about living with family members who have NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder).

It's only head and now it's online Bible, this stylecom yes, join emotions with Bible style. We'll see. quit looking at my work in progress. You fucking up my flow as an artist. Do you like people to watch you do your art? I wouldn't stay, so I wouldn't know. That's why I like when I see street artists, cartoonists, like drawing people on the street at the fisherman's war, for whatever man they got to work with people just staring at him. Yeah, that's head a right dicause that's not really watching me draw these people. Yeah, and it's like their family member. That's why I couldn't do well that. Yeah, especially with like that's why I was thinking. If we do instruments or something like that, it's like the our mom constantly fucking should be commenting while we're doing it, like you can't. Yeah, I feel like we just couldn't do it in peace. They're like, you know, trum said, no room to like explore without being judged exactly or like comment that she'll be on the phone saying, Oh, nick was playing fucking fucking Tom Petty earlier on the drums. You're like like Oh, like, I felt that when my mom put me like through piano lessons when I was young. Yeah, and then she'd have people over for Christmas and Oh, John, show them what you learned in piano lessons, and I'm like, I'm not, you're fucking trained Mounky's just show my kid can do. I trained them so crazy hate for him to get trained. Well, that's that's what it became like a why? What did I pay for all those lessons for? I like, I thought, so I could learn piano. Yeah, but it turned out she paid for those lessons so I could fucking like be your little monkey entertainment our parties, and she played piano to Huh. Yeah, she's pretty good. I'm glad she turned me on to music overall, but come on now, just to be the pet monkey looking with the games in the wells, bells and whistles for all the guests. Did your mom ever do this? Like, I can't recall if she did when when we were married, but my mom did this weird thing before guests would come over. She'd Clean Up, which is pretty normal. I guess you don't want people, especially if we just got messes laying around. It's not your best foot forward, but she would clean on something. That too. It's like, why don't we live this way all the time? That's like that's just how if it was clean the day you came over, that's just a happened. To be clean. Just live, live clean. Like why put on a show for others actually, but my mom would do it to the point where she would clean before the cleaning lady would come over because she didn't want the cleaning lady to judge her as being messy. And I'm like, what are you paying her to do that? And like that's this odd that's putting on appearances. That's a narcissist thing. narcissist, like the public appearances is everything. Is that that okay? That's why I try to think about with her too. It's like this she really deep down have these thoughts, the thoughts that she says out loud of like...

Oh, I just want the best for whatever, for you guys and this, but it's like or deep down it's like in the end you're driving us kind of towards what you think will be good for us, for you in the long run. Right, it's interconnected. Yeah, I mean uncle was like to me before I went to college. He said, all right, we'll take care of you guys, you know, if we ever need money or anything like that, as long as you take care of us later. Oh yeah, he's straight up said that to me too. He sat me down. He's like, he's like the whole point of this is that you guys are going off doing it yourself and you cool take care of the people who took care of you in the long run. Yeah, I mean that kind of makes sense, really makes sense, but it's like you took care of us by option, I guess, or by it right, right, are by our choice, by the parents choice, right, the parents like we have. It's like he had Gelsun cars. We don't have what when go? Yeah, it's myself. Yeah, exactly. I had our mom with that, Dude said. Our MOM deal with that. Did I spoken like a Gamer, spawn myself into existence. I sbody did this. Before I left, was like mom or she was like she was like I was just getting ready to go here. So I just wasn't. I was just on my path, doing my thing, not really talking to anyone, and she would just got to shoot ass Jack Back. What's should ask me what's wrong. I'd say nothing, that she'd go what's his deal like? When I leave the room, and then she'd ask me and I just said she's like, Oh, it just sucks, like you're not happy. It's just like you festering in pestering me all the time about it. Like do you ever realize that you're the problem, like you're the stent are like you're part of the problem, I guess. Yeah, yeah, they know people. HMM. I don't want to like blame that, like focus on her in that situation, but like people in general, for sure, it's all about like well, especially that, what's his problem? As if being silent is a problem. Yeah, it's like I'm just being quiet. I'm not like bowing to your little mind. I hate this. See silence to them as almost as as like worse than a than a negative response. Is like then, like a is worse to them than a derogatory response to what they want. Yeah, well, we were just watching a thing on youtube about narcissist. What was the name of that video? Jack? was that like talk is their currency? I think it was cool. Yeah, there's a kid doing the youtube video and his whole the title was talk is their currency, and that is like narcissist people with the actual narcissistic personality disorder. They fucking just fill every gap, with every gap of air, with like words about sin. It's just were as it is. Words are about that, like it, like in directly about the trying to get gain, yeah, or about just about them. Yeah, like even like. And then GRANDPA's a good example, because you just like, yeah, you can't like being a room for like thirty seconds without him opening his mouth to fill the air with...

...more noise. I'm like, Dude, I was. Are you just scared of that's why I think about them too. It's like, are you scared of the silent? Yeah, silence, is that loneliness? I think it's a fear of losing control. That's all. Yeah, part of it, right, because as long as you're stirring up the crazy, if you're the one stirring up the crazy because you're the only one that has the goggles to see through the fucking dust you're kicking up, then yeah, you're happy kicking up crazy, not like yeah, because there is no crazy in silence. If people who just four, five, six people sitting in room quietly reading their own book or on their head sets or on their phone or whatever. Where's the drama? There isn't right. Gets to me is the come into the room and the announcement of something in their life for the like they already have the preloaded response. They want a specific like it's like a script in their head. Yeah, they'll come in the room, they'll say who, that was a tough walk or some lights. You know, they're like who if it's hot out, like Oh, you just going to walk? Like like they want you to ask a question. Yeah, no, I know what you mean. It's a question stated, you know, put out as a statement. It's like it's hot outside. Well, onto itself, that statement does not require any answer. And Yeah, it's actually if everybody has sit outside, we all have apps on our phone that tells us it's ninety two. You know, I mean the whole thing, like Uh Huh, yes, but if you're making a statement that just requires a h Huh yes, doesn't need a reaction. We're not. We don't live on cell phones. Like if someone but then they'll say see you. I say things and that just no one says anything. It's like, but that doesn't qualify or response, or even it doesn't the qualify response in the first place. Yeah, say it differently. Yeah, I mean, if it is a question, question, ask the question. Whatever the question really like in great like it's re really, you just gotta get it out. figure a way to make it so we' don't there, you don't not need a response. Yeah, yeah, just I mean make it so the person not answering is on the hook. Yeah, exactly, because, like if someone has asked a direct question, Hey, I'm going to the grocery store. Will you be here when I get back to help on low groceries? Hey, will you, you know, feed the dog whatever? That's sense, and then it can. That's ten times better than saying I'm going to the store, okay, that's it, come back and then going getting mad with the groceries into the house, making a big noise, like it's like right, you hear the wrestling of the of the plastic bags when through the of the door in the wall, someone, someone kicks the door opened for the front door to get through, just like they're scared to communicate. Yeah, it's like. But then that goes back to the thing you said about how their people are just taught to be reserved, like you, just like from your upbringing. There's like that's true, especially. I mean well, like I'm fifty and you guys are like twenty. is so roughly. You know so, but people are aged generation x and above, for sure, toddle hold different way.

Yeah, especially women. They're taught to not state their feelings, so it's hard not to state your feeling like so you end up these. You end up getting your feelings out other ways, and sometimes they're less than direct, which drives direct people crazy, especially like if you have adhd and you need simplicity in life and someone just keeps throwing mind games all day and like what the fuck? So crazy. My my mom was like that and my dad were like that too. But the trippy thing is everybody has probably one of those symptoms, at least, just because there's so many symptoms and narcissistic person yet that that makes you question yourself. You're like, wait, and my Narsiss if I as am I the secret narcissistic that thinks, Oh, I'm not a narcissismt everyone around you was thinking. They're like, no, that's what narcissist would say. I'm not an narcissist. No, I think that's something once in a while that is narcissistic isn't the same as yeah, and we having narcissistic tendency exactly. It's like being sad over a sad thing doesn't mean you have to press yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, that definitely that's it. That's a good point. And but I think a lot of it just the way you feel like, if you, if whoever's listening to this, feels kind of like this is kind of fucked up. What do? I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells and trying to please this mysterious phantom. Chances are you probably live with the narcissist. Yeah, it's that feeling they give you. So just checking off a symptoms and everything like that, it's almost pointless do because there is no pill to take. You can't get a narcissist to take a pill to recognize it or heal themselves, and they refuse to see a doctor. Maybe is why. Why would they? Rands are different on narcissist, like I'm our eyes and stuff like that are different on under certain areas of questions, I'm sure. I'm not really sure what brain scans to tell something the doctors. She sparks some to make it like Oh, yeah, oh, this part of the region the brain, because right now the brain research in that way is so primitive. It's like, Oh, look, we can detect pain, we can detect truth or live. But I'm like, how do you detect personality? Fuckery? How about? Yeah, how about the Jack? Jack will know like the Oh, we're gonna do this in the end. That trickles down the tree to you're going to do this, I'm going to buy it and I'm gonna throw it on you. Yeah, ourcissistic. I think it's a control thing. Maybe there is the I was reading a narcrvis share. Doing my bidding and matter unasked for gifts is a narcissist thing. They give you gifts, you to ask. This goes back jet dude. Me and Jack were talking about this one time when I'll be say, say, I'll I would be upset or something. Not Upset, but yeah, I'm just doing my thing. Not The TOT's quiet. Sure that's the word. Not Replying, okay, not replying to things that don't require replies actly, some neutral and then show out. Someone will ask a question and go, Oh, are you hungry or blah, blah blah, or like do you want this? Do you want this? You want this to try to make you feel better, and you're like, I'm just just just let me, just leave me be. What I would like is to be left alone. Yeah, and then, but then they'll buy you something without you even asking, that they know...

...you like generally, and you're like, okay, I'm not going to not enjoy the thing, and then they'll use that as a fucking guilt trip after and they'll go his own. He'll he's only nice to me when I'm buying a pizza's, yeah, or Star Wars legos and yeah, Geez, it's like, but I didn't ask for the Star Wars Lego or the pizza. Yeah, you brought that's trying to suck up to me, to get me back on your good side so you can manipulate me exactly. So rough it's just do the bidding for them. Yeah, they call that in you in narcissist books, flying monkeys, like because the he was at of all. Yeah, because the evil witch would get her flying monkeys to do her bidding. narcissist people generally have a close knit group of people around and find the people like them right. They're not necessarily friends with each other because they talk shit about each other to they gossip and they talk shit about the people they say they don't. They're like yeah, yeah, you know, it's they just like evil monkeys that fly. It's like a little cold of narcissist. Yeah, alms and well, they can all tolerate each other to some extent, and then they all feel somewhat in control. So when this send out the monk is to do their bidding, they're like that's the enemy, and then all the monkeys are like reporting back on leg exactly shit. Like that's how we'd feel about like family shit, I guess, about like someone's doing reek, like why is this person hitting me up out of the blue, out of nowhere, and asking a general question and then kind of a question about what we've been going on in the family? Like how do you even know about that? Oh, I know, right, right, it's all peripheral. It's like, Oh, you're not transparent at all. But the funny thing is that's super transparent. Once you start identifying the way they communicate. Instantly it's a up red flag. They're they're doing that thing again. You know, it's like Jack has been drawing his world of warcraft character for the past fifteen minutes. Yeah, rendition with the different direction. I saw the shoulder pads and then the undeadlooking face and the no mouths. I was like, Yep, it looks like an fnomes to me. Jack created a fantastic character that will probably surpass emo joe on t shirts. The sleepy face, got the sleepy face with the bags under his eyes or above his eyes, depending on which, or above and below. If he gets a little HD REVAM. I love that will because it looks kind of almost like a becomes like a infinity symbol. If you blur your eyes it kind of looks like one. Anyway. It doesn't like a yeah, it that's exactly. It has like a balance to it. Got Love Things and balance, the simple, the simple, like McDonald says, the simpler the better. We should watch the founder. I think you'd like it. I see you have seen it. I don't want to watch it. If Nick has already seen that, I watched again. I saw you, sure, Wayne, coming back from Florida like a couple years ago. Oh and the rest of inglorious pastards. Yes, at the first that for sure. We're going to rewind. We're going to the fast bender part the party. Fast pender came in and got sent to the little bar underground. Will start there. I wasn't buying Brad Pitt at the beginning, but then once they got to he just sticks with it, you know what I mean? That's here. That's that's...

...a characters like he can't just say Nancy's every time. They fucking say where Nancy's nasty hunters. It's pretty funny. I like it. There's there's a lot of people in that movie. There's weather's Daniel Brule. Is that one dude? And then Mike Myers, yeah, the kid from the office that Mark Marin hates Novak. Yeah, and then there's that one other dude that we're like, isn't he and stuff? He's like a little see's like a b side actor, I think. Oh well, couple people from the Marvel Universe and fast benders in there right. I think the lady was in a man, I mean in fucking Captain America, The lady they met at the bar downstairs. You might have fallen asleep at that point and maybe that's it was good, though. Well, rewind little, really wind, Jackie Brown. I can't believe you guys haven't Seen Jack Brown. That's one of the more fun fucking modern day because it's all Tarantino. It's like the modern day soundtrack. Heard it's been. It's been, what's the word? Titled as a or something like that, as a hangout movie, designated like a talkie cult classic hang out. Like the way the dialog goes throughout the movie, I heard, is like hangout, ee. That's what it's faired. Lots of people hanging out. For sure, you can just chilling shit. Every once in a while someone gets killed. There you go and Oh, but there's also this ominous threat throughout the movie because there's two feds trying to track down gun runners. Geez, I don't know the story. Yeah, that's basically that's Jackie browns caught in the middle of it because she's transporting money in her case. All right, nick, I say you give us a little outro with this character. All Right, so Jack has been drawing to character and now nick is going to give it out. Now I just sound now, I just think of an undead from wow. It's like, but tod they already have a sound. Well, what's a line that say? You go to the loot, you got to sell some items. They're like how does the undead when see, I just got the undeads from wow in my head. Now they're like go forth right, the forsaken ones. What if that thing had red hair, you know, to spice it up a little bit? I guess. How would that sounded? Look a little nasal thought. Yeah, I like naked little zest. Maybe got to make a make a nasal drop a little Tony Tony share hes on it, one of those, one of the little pads as they due on all first you got her. Yeah, making kind of neas. I guess some fucking weird sounds in here, but I'm not sure I have that one yet. What was the one we added besides the Randy Marshall One? Let me see, big rain. What was? Oh, Hey, pe, fuck you. That was older. Here's a bunch of Oh knows, the Vince Neil all rock and...

...shout, the double and been do, but do the fucking Vince Neil. I guess. Got Several hundred bucks off some fan APP and you can. You can. You could submit pay a bunch of money and have them like record. They'll be your monkey for a little bit. Yeah, we we can record a greeting. So someone paid the Motley Cruz singer like six hundred bucks and he records this shit like at home going up the elevator in Vegas and he's super drunk. Yeah, a shath of brothers. It's a big four. Oh, I heard they announced another farewell to her. Oh yeah, she'ses bien do some bid do. I can't even. I can't imagine how much those tickets were for the first farewell. I can because we went really where the last show, the very last. Yeah, staple center, New Year's Eve. That was last show ever. Two thousand and seventeen. Sixteen or seventeen. We got our tshirts in the parking lot from the black dude who had pirated shit. He had already made like privated shirts. Is like a super bowl ones of the other team. But plus, these were these were great because they were bad. I mean they were just kind of fucked up looking like I was like, contin that's awesome, but he was doing it for like ten bucks and they're getting like fifty bucks inside by do and I'm like the same concert and we're like the probably tour again, anyway. Oh and hey, look there they are, toured again. Go vious new bid any other narcissism topics. We can talk about the samples. That was pretty free flow. There was some good examples in that article. I could share the link to the article in the notes below. Hey, click below and hit subscribe. But yeah, there's play. I mean I always figured people listening to a podcast also have the Internet. thinking. Pretty much key in any any turn we talked about. But I think a lot of people that deal with narcissist in their immediate environment we're probably sitting there nodding their heads to everything we said. Come Fuck, yeah, oh, totally, and this and that and you know, because once you find people that experience the same shit, it's like I'll hear the specific examples, but oh yeah, you burned your hand with fire on a stove, so did I. Well, then you find those people. But when you find people that are they're experiencing the thing that we've been trained not to even think as a thing, because fucking people with MPD will gas light you, they'll make you think you're crazy, they'll create all this crazy span and nonsense. They like put it back on you as if it were you. So, especially to the listener, if you think you're feeling crazy, but you know, you're not actually crazy, you're not hearing voices kind of crazy. But if you feel like you're nuts, you probably not nuts. You probably like us. You're...

...probably just like a victim of like narcissistic abuse, in the Flying Bok, acissism, control or some other good words. Control is the big one, for sure. But, and you know, the thing is, though, it's their disorder, but since they can't get help, like, what do you do? Form like I have sympathy for people that are drunks, heroin addicts, any kind of mental disorder. I mean, yeah, okay, you got a thing, you acknowledge it, you deal with it. narcissists never acknowledge it. That's their thing, that is part of their thing. And like, well, how do you deal with that? And every expert of ever seen or read about it's like you can't. You just have to. Basically, you are a narcissist drug. They're addicted to you. What do you think happens if you call them out just blatantly, right to their face? Yeah, they don't know. I'm the NARM experiences, like they don't like the fat. Yeah, you can diagnose me now. Okay, okay, that's what I am. So let me tell you what you are. Yeah, they turn it on you. It'll it'll total deflection, like it'll just deflect right off in the right field, foul ball, like he'd like you did even hit the ball. They're like, bring up something that you did two months ago or just for forty years ago. Yeah, they carry some shit for decades, Dude. That's the weirdest thing. That's when you start to realize, Oh yeah, I actually can't be too entangled with that. You're like, why are you doing about some shit like that's not obviously people change. Do you never change? I guess no, no, they don't, not in that way, not in a way that puts the burden of change on them. Yeah, Oh, you made me change, I had to or this and that, or the world's against me, or something like playing the victim is in habit that's out of they're all on that's either all on your side or a hundred percent for you or, yeah, negatively towards you, for sure. That's how I feel about fascism. Like the ideologic the ide the ideology of fascism is you're either a hundred percent with us or we're a hundred percent against you. So there's no room for deviation of thought. And that's just exactly how, like a lot of hardcore narcissists, aarts like well, you do think by way, and we make things appear to be this way and you're going to be a happy damn it, and that's it. As like well, except for on Saturdays, I like to do this. NOPE, you're the enemy, kind of like a bad Alpen, Cheeto, bad bade. Now back to the wall, and now, and now, you gotta get a bottom of her voice in the world somewhere. Probably shouldn't said his name, but still, I can still eat this part out. I might cut it about thirty seconds back or just put this in. Oh right, cool. Well, thanks for listening. And if you didn't know, the two people have been talking to all my sons. That's Nick and that's Jack. I'm nick. High Nick Jack, Hi Jack. We both sound pretty similar, I imagine. I would imagine so too. So, yeah, if we were a family of emotions, that's...

...nick emotions and Jack Emotions. Jack, deep bub all righty. Well, you have a great day. Thanks for listening to the PODCAST. We'll talk to you next time. Subscribe to piple this style on e cheese and spotify. Follow along on twitter. He's so stupid. And now back to the wall.

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