Live from Emo Dojo
Live from Emo Dojo

Episode · 3 years ago

New Year's Resolution Suggestions for Families of the Mentally Ill


Captured live from John Emotions' old YouTube live stream, John reflects on the past year and gives some previews of the year to come. Highlights include snarky suggestions to families of the mentally ill who suck at taking responsibility for their sick and disabled loved ones. Follow/chat with John on Twitter @BipolarStyle

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Welcome back to my color style, thepodcast for Bi colar people and those who levt them join US online at byTollarstylecom and now here's your husband, Johnnye motion, welcomejohnny motion, orte style made it mantwusandand. Seventeen wasquite a ride, and the year this podcast started so itwas pretty important to me.I loved it. I hated it typical, bipolar fashion yeah. It was the thing man, twothousand and seventeen is almost over and I'm glad you're here, I'm glad I'mhere and to stick around tomorrow will be a New Year. You know and ametaphorical way to start a a new life. If you will, you know just kind of amilestone to move forward in your recovery or your progress. Whatever youconsider forward movement and getting better. Sothanks for Tuning Need Tho by polar style. I have somein not important, but I have somebusiness to do here. Real, quick, I'm going to turn on the twitter, livestream camera and then we'll get started with the boolk ofthe podcast, which isn't very long.It's about thirty minutes and at the end I'll tell you a way that you canget a free, emo Joe t shirt. It's like little Yinyang with the smily face. GuyHad design for kind of the brand for the bipolar style, but you know itdoesn't say bipole or anything on it. People like them. So if you want toknow how to get a emo, Jo shirt, hang tight, I'm not going to tell the peopleon the twitter live stream about it. It's only for podcast listeners, solisten up at the end you'll be able to go. You know, do the thing that is requiredto get a Tshirt, hey all right, then cool hold on one. Second, let me gopush the button and get the twittere live stream gun all right. Welcome twitter live streampeople, I'm johnny motions, as you can see frommy fancy new lower thirds there. John e motions follow me on twitter and youcan check out a lot of the past episodes this past season of bipolarstyle. It's my podcast! I started back in August. This will be episode.Thirteen or fourteen the end of the first season, affectionately known asby Polo style, so welcome. Thank you. Folks, out there I told the people onthe PODCAST who've been here before you guys got here. How do you stick aroundlearn how to get your free Emo, Joe Tshirt Yeah I'll, say I like this, likethat, guy, that's emo Joe, it's a little logo I made for the bipolarstyle, podcast and it's it doesn't say, bipolor anything on it and people likeit. So if you want to find out how to get a free one, stick around stickaround wow what a year man I'm glad we made it.Of course, I typically only regord podcast and video when I'm feeling upto it. So you never see me when I'm at my lowest yeah modestly. Nobody reallysees me what I'm at my lowest. So that's said, I'm glad to be here. Thosandy Eightee, I mean wo thousandand seventeen was a trip I listened to. I had did done a kind of a pilot episode of bipolarstyle back in right about now, like I think tonight, it was either ChristmasEve or New Year's Eve of two thousand and sixteen into seventeen, where Ijust I was in Los Angeles living down there, and I had nobody to hang outwith annothing to do so. I walked out on the street with my Handy Zoom, Mikethis thing here, which actually is recording the podcast right now, butit's portable so took the Mikeout with another Mike that plugs into it...

...and found a guy named Jay from Chicago, andhe was like a street person drunk kind of looking for some more alcohol and heshared his story about how he also had bypolar disorder, which I thought wasthat that's that's, TAT's, a great kind of cautionary tale and it's a good wayto start a podcast, and it also was kind of the podcast that I wanted tohave any way. Just excuse me just like a man on the street kind of deal anyway, that I called that bipolar show. Youcan go see. Bipolar showcom goes to the old, sound cloud files and take alisten if you like anyway, the audio wasn't that great, but there was meinterviewing jy from Chicago in a dark alley. Late at night on a night justlike tonight, so itwas pretty interesting. But anyway I kind of went off the rails, as bi polar peopletend to ended up moving away from Los Angeles, moved to Louisiana for a whilemove back to the San Francisco Bay area, and when I got back to the bay area, Ithought man. I still like that idea of doing the podcast, but by polar show,is a little too heavy handed is not. I don't know it's not specifically. Theidea wasn't specifically about by polar or to inform people about pipe polar.It was just place for me to get my voice heard to get it out, because whenyou're sick over years and years, you tend to not have continuity ofhealthcare or mental health care, or anything like that. So I don't have astedytherapist, never have the ones. I have had have said: Yeah get go aheadand have a podcast or do fucking live stream or whatever. If it's good foryou, if you're able to communicate your feelings and get them out, then that'ssometimes as good as having a therapist. Now, obviously your your pixsells on ascreen, and you can't give me a hug or anything like that. So it's not quitethe same, but it's helpful to have this voice to get to get this yhet out yeah.So that's part of why the whole thing started. It just kind of seems to end.It ended up being, like my turn, to share at a DBSA meeting. If you are newto depression or by polar. What you should do is go to dbs alliance, DotOrg, that's the DBSA I'm referring to. Anyway. They have DBSA meetings and youcan go to hang out with other bipolar people.I guess people with bipolor disorder, how you like to explain that and it feels good good to see othershear their stories in person. You don't you still don't get a hug,but it's nice to go and share that soanyway, I can't get out all the time to the DBSA meetings, but this is verysimilar. So in a DBSA meeting you tell them your name and how you wer yourweek was and then, when it comes around to your turn again, you just sharewhatever the fuck you feel like sharing, which is a lot of times all we need. Most of us don't have a place to dothat in our normal lives. So it's nice to have a small audience of people in acircle to share your problems or your thoughts or your concerns aboutanything really. So that's kind of what this podcast turned out to be it justmy share out to the world make sense. It's kind of weird the people now on the live stream get to see me walkaround and fuck up. That's all eddige it out from the podcast editediidididited out from the PODCAST and the podcast people get new musiclivestream people won't get that for a while. Until I get two people myselfand somebody else to run this obs software, as you can see like I said,'ve got lower thirds happening down here. Now, that's cool! I like that. IfI was over at the computer, I can push the buttons and make putther shit flyaround the screen and make it like a really live stream thing, but I reallywanted to concentrate still on...

...podcasting. It's really just this isjust an adgent to the podcast, so yeah have to get used to that. I have to getused to that too. Let's get on to some topics took somenotes through the week to talk about on the podcast. I think Ishould go to toastmasters. That's not one of my notes, but man I bet theywould teach you how to breathe while you're speaking and standing. I do thepodcast while I'm standing, because I don't want it to drone on and on and onforever and ever so I fear Aff. I do it standing it'smore like a like a standup routine right. Okay, I'm going to just digress lightly,but if this were stand up routine, my new bit would be have you seen thenew apple commercial, New Apple Osten, or is ten fucking Appletan apple phones,Dan, the big latest phone with the big knotch in the top wofh? The camera goesanyway, the new ad campaign. It's really hyping the facial recognitionand one of the big phrases that comes across the screen when they're you know dancing and thebig white background and the phone flashing around it says pay with yourface pay with your face. That seems soabsurd to me. I started thinking. What else can I payfor? What can I pay for? Can I just like throw my dick out on that littlescanner at CVS, pay with my Dick or even better. I can just ben over andpay with my buttle. It's like there. You go okay, Baid your turn who's upnext anyway, I'm not stand up now. You can see why to get onto the topics. Man, Oh andsome housekeeping before we get on to the topics on the year end stuff man,so the host I use hold on I'm excited on', catch my breath, a manic. What time is it anyway? It'sOne d: Thirty in California. Now that means O it's getting close to fucking like nigger's Day, it's almost two thosandand eighteen in the UK about two more hours, yeah, roughly two and a halfhours. THAT'S NEAT! I bring this up because I looked at the map of all thestatistics at Lipsen Libson, my host Lib s y en liberated Syndication Libsen, so good plug for them hey go to lipsand if you want to do a podcast anyway on Lips Ond, they have new statisticsthat show all your different downloads and for one man there are way moredownloads that I thought there would be, which is good and also somewhat scary,because, like now, I feel somewhat obligated to actually produce a podcastlike right now, instead of sitting in my ass down stairs drinking I'm up here,making AP podcast, which I guess is good you know- gives me structure, butanyway, lots of people in the UK in Australia, New Zealand, Thailand, Hm tons in America, India, Banglades, it's like tons ofplaces, wait, maybe not India. I think it's blocked there anyway explicitcontent, whatever lots of people and lots of places I didn't know about, arehearing the show and even like people from my group, my own dbsa group, a guy,said Yeah thisten to your podcast, I'm like no way he did not, and he did heexplained what one Ho listened to so man. I really appreciate you guyslistening and sometimes I just ramble on, but I encourage you to ramble on useyour voice find a place to be heard. You're always welcome to come on thisshow and share your bipolar experiences. I would love to hear them and I thinkother people like to hear other voice besides mine. So let's, let's try thatsoon and there's so lots of places around the world lots of downloads forthe year HMM and lots of help like especially on twitter Diane Super Helpful. I should list all thesepeople like actually list them on a...

...twitter, post or Pii them to the post,so Jason Becky at that B, word podcast, who were trying to like do a host cohost thing, but now I'm flaking on it, because I was going to start a thirdbrand and, like I don't need a third brand now what the fuck do I do so,maybe we can connect and do mashup smash up podcasts more frequently,something like that. We're switching over from facebook,video to Yeaya right here, Youtube livestream, mostly because these once they're recorded you canshare youtube videos everywhere, including facebook. On the flip side,only facebook videos- you know facebook videos are stuck on facebook. You can'tshare them on Youtube or twitter places like that. So that's why we're going toyoutube live stream hold on on? Second, a grab drink, aof Dinkyeah, not that kind of drink rock star fruit plunch, my favorite Iget down! I don't drink coffee little caffeine helps, though cool okay, Anyway Yeah digressions thatmay get cut from the podcast to update from last week. Well, let'ssee it's New Year's now and I think I wantto just complain in talk about myproblems hit. You know what I mean, because by the time I get through allof this and get ready to make a video, I kind of process them. Oh, my God,that's okay, yeah it'll be fine whatever, so I ended up not going to mydad's because well I didn't like the way I didn'tlike the tone of his voice when he hung up the phone. The last time I hadcalled him when I told him hey, dude, somethingfucked up happened to me instead of saying, like Oh shit, that is fucked up.How can I come help or how can it help at all or whatever he? I heard him hang up the phone there's aperson in the room with them, and I hear him saying up seet. What I tellyou you know is on my cofuck and so instead of offering any kind ofassistance or or a any kind of like, oh sorry, how can I help kind of situationinstead of any of that later in the week I get a Oh hey. I need you tobring me something when you come up for for new years. So I'm like. That's itreally you just? U Just need e for something you don'twant to you just going to Hash over that whole thing that happened the fewdays prior, okay, whatever so anyway, fuck that I'm not going up there, I'mnot going to spend hundred dollars or more in gas that don't have and then come back down. I was too muchstressed than I'T, be traveling back down with all the other goddamnedpeople and hit may have to go up there anyhow in a few weeks, so whatever stayat home standing this place call it home. Now, anyway, I'm stayingsafe, stayind, warm and not going anywhere for new years. So that's theupdate for that. It turns out. My mom went on a trip apparently shes on acruise in the UK, doing whatever for the holidays so goodfor her- and I saw my middle son that was great Wen- saw a movie last weekwent side Jumanji, which was surprisingly better than I thought itwould be. I like all the actors in it, but you know I'm like great: Do we needanother Jumaji really and and besides it's a copy of a Robin Williams movieand I think a lot of bipolar people have a special place in their heart forby for Robin Williams, because it his potential for having had bi polardisorder anyway, seeing Jumaji back to the point was funbecause I got to see it with my Middle Son Jack and I love them a lot and Imiss them. So that's great. The other two didn't want to come or didn't replyor whatever made it kind of hard for the holidays. But what can you do? Mawjust go on just keep going. That's what...

I'm doing so back to now. Two Thousand andeighteen LE' see what we're talking about today. HMM, Oh yeah. Okay, here's the thing, so Imay I'm trying to create this opportunity like the job I have now they haven't, provided a computer likeI've. been there like six months, still no computer supposed to be like incharge of a certain thing that clearly requires a computer I'm having to usemy own shit it s. just I don't feel like respected at the job, so I have tobe careful not to jump around from job to job just because I don't feelrespected, but some point eah anyway. So I'm trying to create a new thing. Sowhat I'm trying to do is there's a building in San Francisco that houses a bunch ofold people like lots of disconnected isolated people. I want to find out how to HMM get intoposition, to manage a building like that and use it as a test case to find out how we can get isolatedpeople, especially older people, living alone in small little closet size rooms, to communicate more each other, to usedigital tools to get them out of their rooms and then to get them to interactin person based on their use of those digital tools. So I guess the idea I have is kind of. I don't know how toexplain it, but it's like a tender or a bumble for lonely people like you putin what you're into you. Don't put your picture. It's like the opposite, theopposite of that. Where you don't, there's no visuals! You can put yourart your favorite artist, maybe your favorite music, what you're into, butyou know, put the activities that you're possible that you're able to do.I'm sorry that you're possible, but thon put the activities that are possible for you todo. Don't put things that you like to doput things that you can do like. I can go bowling or do light yoga for oldpeople or something like that and then get these old people to interact thatway through an APP to try to so they connect in real life but on theirdesires, a and likes for recreational activities. Instead of love, interestAkxense, all you have to do is say it's bumble for lonely people wait. A second bumble already is for lonely people. Now, I'm just kidding you get thepicture, well, take away the photos and make it at for lonely people that isjust geared toward local people gettingtogether to do shit so they're, just not in isolation anymore. That's my biggoal for the next for you for E next year for liketwo thousand and eighteen,this one potentially there's one potential place that I have in mind.I've been talking to. They also have a music setup and they have monthly jazzshows in this area. So I'm thinking somehow connecting all the people inthe building through music, of course, because you know I play music e love,music and I think it's a great tool. It's a universal language thateverybody speaks. So I'm kind of excited about that and I will keep youposted. That said, that's kind of why I had this kind of conflict like to I keep callingthe show by polar style or just Johnny Motion Shelf so anyway, I'll call,johnny, motions. The live stream here, called by polar style, the bipolar,related podcast, but anyway don't get them confused. It's all. Just me,rambling around things, I'm up to right now, uh my notes as big decision use,my real name become a public speaker write a book. I don't know about that.So I've used my real name before, and I've kind of come out so to speak,quote unquote as a bipolar person that didn't work out so well. So now, basedon actual life experience.

I keep that part of my life anonymous or at least private. You knowsomewhat separated. You really have to be kind of an obsessive freak to findto put the two and two together, like the real me in the johnny motions brand.U It's easy to do. Just you know go to fucking who is or something like that,an find out, but whatever so that's not important. What's important is that I'mmake in in dettempt for the people that are not Obsessiv ly, trying to find outwho I am to just communicate to the rest of the world, how people withbipolar borderline personality, disorder, PTSD, Andaxiety disorders andall o those things actually act and feel in real life. So t's t do that now, I'm like fuck,real name HM stage, name real name stage name, soI think stage named for this year. Why Not Yeah Fuck it? It's not even thatimportant. Why am I? What am I talking to you about it, I'll figure it out all right next down the lists for those of you. This is a great newyear's resolution for people that have family members that have mentalillnesses or disorders, write this down as your fucking resolution, except thatyou have a sick, family member and that person can be helped. Sothat's your responsibility to help your family directly or to make sure they find help. That isyour family. Like bill birth says we don't just have kids, so we have morehumans shedding in the river. We just that's, not the purpose of makingfamilies the families should all help each other. If you have somebody thatis sick in your family, you should help them got. It make sense kid of simple and so as a family member. What it'simportant to do is to be there for them in person and listen to them. Don't tryto solve their condition, in fact, by polar disorder is currently incurable,so just listen to them. Let them be them and stop trying to cure them andaccept them as disabled. If you're not solid enough human to care about adisabled love one. Maybe you should reconsider your existence here onplanet earth. The next thing you can do as a loved one, so called love. One family. Member ofsomebody with a mental disorder is stop gas lighting them. Do you know what gaslighting is gas lighting is when you didnoie somebody else's reality, so in the existence, in my case, whatit is is a lot of people, because I only go outside or do podcast ortalking the phone or things when I'm capable when I'm not capable, I don'texist in real world. I hide so in my case, gas lighting is tellingme Oh you're, not sick, you're, okay, you're just faking it. Obviously the doctors, the scientist,the guys who do the cat scans, the pharmacist, the the prescriptionwriters, the therapist, they all say differently. I'm not it's myprerogative not to have to talk about all that every time it the subjectcomes up, but just know that you, the lay person telling somebodythat they are not crazy when the whole medical establishment has confirmed itmakes you look like an idiot. So I guess what I'm saying is: Justdon't be an idiot if someone's going to the hospital, what you think they'refakingy, you think someone fucking wants to have bipoler disorder. Youthink they want to have a personality disorder. You think somebody wants tohave ptst or anxiety, fuck, no fuck, you if you think that that's stupid andstop gas lighting, people that have been to the doctor and diagnosed andthat take medication for it stop telling him they're, not crazyn thatthey're faking it that's just stupid. So the last thing you might want toconsider if you're the loved one of...

...somebody that has a mental disorder ormental illness is to give up. Onthe quote unquote, tough love that isbullshit. Tough love is bullshit. How about trying smart love or even kindlove? There's an idea. My mom tried to treat me with toughlove, tried to treat my polar disorder with tough love. Back when I was likefourteen kick me out on the streets, it didn't work, none of it worked. Itdidn't cure my polar disorder. He created more disorders, made thingsmuch worse and people said well. What did youexpect her to do? Well, I expect you to take me to a fucking hospital. Get mehelp from a doctor. I was fourteen for Fuck Sake. What else would you do? Ofcourse you take your kid. There you know she took me there once when I wasyounger. The doctor said HM next time. I will see your mom byherself. You don't have to come anyway. I got the boot at fourteen because ofquote unquote tough love, so obviously it doesn't work. If you love somebodyjust love them help them give them a hug. Tell them you'll be there for themtell them. You won't abandon them. There's a lots of cool things. You cando for loved ones who have mental illnesses in two thousand and eighteen,so give it a shot, make some resolutions to not be a Dick and helpthose who need help the most now. Remember, of course, those areresolutions for quote unquote normal people like healthy people, not forthose of us who are sick, I'm not saying don't be Adick, but yeah don'tbe a deck. Obviously, most people that have a disorder are not judgmental ofothers that have similar disorders, because we know how it feels we haveempathy for that, but yeah it's important to remindpeople that think they're healthy, they think they're above it. You know theyhave sicknesses. They got the GOUTS, they get asthma, they got the diabetesof the cancer. They I mean. We just have a different thing, so you know gotto remind them that we can get sick. We do look normal oure, normal is different than Yourenormal, so give us a break and tough love is bullshit and cut it with thegas lighting, no more gas lighting. So there are some awesome things coming upthrough a podcasting group on Facebook, I met the gentleman who introduced meto a friend of his who I'm going to have on this show the friend, becausehe just got his wife from the hospital with bipolar disorder and worderlinepersonality disorder. So I guess they're Giveng these out of thehospital now no I'm kidding, but so we're going to talk to him about whatit's like to be the family. Member of somebody that has both bipolar andborderline. That's going to be neat also. The Guy who connected this has apodcast called come to the table, which is a faith based podcast. I'm going tocheck out I'm going to be a guest on that we're going to talk about a lot ofinteresting things. Probably I'm going to talk about my loss of faith and tosee where we can come together and find a happy medium on that, because I'magnostic at best atheists, a lot so thatw'll, be fun, and that gentlemanand also hooked me up with a popular radio DJ in the Ohio area. I believe,and that dude's got by polar he's, been on the local media kind of like as alocal mental health, Warrior kind of guy. So I'd like to have him on, Ithink that's going to happen as well, so there's going to be a lot of coolstuff in the first month and a half or so, and I look forward to Havenn youhere upon the twitter live stream, and you guys here in the headphones on thepodcast. I can't promise that'll be moreconsistent on a schedule because, like I said, I don't really record or publish any ofthis shit when I'm not feeling well, so it's not like you can ever see it mehere, bawling crying things like that. Just tnot right, not right for meanyway, but shit man, two thosand yd eighteen,has to be better than twendn. Seventeen was so much crazy extra work in twothousand and seventeen. I just want some stability, some love. I want somemore hugs in two thousand and eighteen...

...and I guess I'll just keep pushing thislittle brand thing. My little fucking twitter and Youtube experiment and justOL. Take that as it is. I like a hobby, it's a good hobby to have kind lets me,get it out right. All right, then happy. Two Thousand and eighteen we'll see yousoon and here's my buddy rag rays old time friend of Mie, like my longestfriend, probably since the sixt grade seventh grade e used to play togetherin band and still makes music. So the music you hear in the background is re.Lavoo he's not big on like social media, so you can't find him, but I do want tothank him. ND appreciate him and listen to this music on the way out. This isgoing to be kind of the feend sound of thea johnny motions by Pois, sound,show thing, two thousand and eighteen all right mostly so I can get on espotify spotify will not let me on with any of that unlisses Mus Gol bit. You guys have a great twentyeightteen stay safe, I'm glad we made it this far. You've made it this far.You can make it. You know few more hours, don't go doing anything crazytomorrow. It's not a special celebration day to go, kill yourself oranything like that. Hold tight, make it to the second and they will talk Alright cool if you have liked what you heardsubscribe on Apple Podcast by Itunes and join us at bi, polar stylecomthanks for listening.

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