Live from Emo Dojo
Live from Emo Dojo

Episode · 2 years ago

NYE 2020 Bipolar Style

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

John talks about the ups and downs of 2019, and refreshes the mood of the 2010's with music by LMFAO, Pharrell, CeeLo Green, twenty one pilots, Leo, and Jimmy Martin. John thanks Twitter followers, podcast listeners and lays out plans for Season 4 with your help.

It's only head and now it's onlinebottle, this stylecom yes, Johnny motions with bottle that style. All right, all right, what's up? Happy New Year. It's last hours hereof two thousand and nineteen. Was Getting Ready to do a podcast on oneof my other podcasts, kind of waiting around pushing the KNOBS and flicking thebuttons, and realize, Hey, I could do a bipolar style podcast towhile I'm sitting here, so I'm going to do that. This will bekind of unconventional bipolar style episode, if you will, but that's cool becauseit's new year and things are going to change anyhow. So this episode willbe the first part. We'll talk about two thousand and nineteen, you know, the ups and the downs and how we ended up here. Then I'mgoing to think a bunch of people from twitter. I'm going to call themout by name and I really appreciate the people that help promote the show.So that'll be fun. And then in the third part we'll talk about changesthat we're going to do to this podcast moving forward and how can how youcan participate in all of that. Cool, cool, so, you know,kind of in the sake of New Year's, for example. But we'releaving a whole decade. A lot happened in the past decade. So Ijust wanted to kind of honor the decade with a little music to remind us, like, where we've been. And I started to pull up some musicfrom the early part of the two thousand and ten and, Oh my God, there's some wild stuff. We used to listen to you back in theday with this. So two thousand and ten, it's fun right, justlisten to it for a minute. Yeah, let's go sake that. Yeah,that's the party like right there. Oh Yeah, are you dancing?Good, get up shot. That's good...

...stuff. I like music that makesweird noises. It reminds me of like a audio cartoon or something. Peoplelike, oh, that's that's stupid music, or this whatever, whatever music.I mean whatever term they label music they don't like, lame. Somepeople stay gay, but that could be a compliment some music. Anyway.I like some weird dance music and tecto music. It just because it soundslike a cartoon and it's interesting. So Yeah, party rockers, first partof two thousand and ten. Now leaving two thousand and ten. Man,there's a lot happening in the whole decade, just kind of up and downs,like happy and sad. Like there was this song happy. It mightseem crazy, that's a great so how can you not like us? Andthen there was also the opposite of happy, the breakup songs. Remember this Celo? That's some shit and we you know I'd love singing background lyrics tosongs, the background parts, except for that one, because I'm super liberal, so will not sing the background lyrics to that out loud. One ofmy favorite bands from the two thousand and ten really was twenty one pilots andOh my God, like they had such a huge hit with stressed out,and if you haven't heard it, you should. Oh wait, let me, let me preface this. If you hear explosions, it's okay. whereI live, gunpowder is about as prevalent as Cajun Spice or salt pepper,so it's legal. Fireworks are legal all year round. There's a permanent fireworkshopsin town. Lots of people have guns. So if you hear any pop,pop, pop up, it's like it's kind of out of my control. Sorry, but hey, it's new year's Eve. Two Thousand and nineteen. So that's said. I love these guys. Twenty one pilots doing stressedout. Remember the song from two thousand...

...and ten. I wish I foundsome better sounds no one's ever heard. I wish I had to better voicessaying some better words. I wish I found some cords in an order thatis new. I wish I didn't have to rhyme every time I saying.I was told when I get older, all my feels of drink. Butnow woman secure and I care what people think names. Care what you thinkmy name's face, and care what you think. WHO's rinking back time tothe good no days when the Mama was saying. But love those guys likeseventy five percent of that album is awesome. I bought two CDs just road tripsand man, think wre that thing out. Definitely lost one and neededto get it again. So some truck stop we picked up another blurry face. So dig it, dig it, dig it. All right. Sowhat happened in two thousand and nineteen with me? We Geez. So itwas San Francisco, California. I was managing and Directing Hotel, the columnhotels out there. It's a SRO hotel for formerly homeless folks. So wehad a hundred and sixty rooms. Is Big, massive building and you know, it stressful and you know and needed a change. So I said,I need to go somewhere else. I'm like, you know, when likepeople, what was the metaphor I thought of the other day? It's likeyou could watch somebody go on a roller coast. You could stand at theedge of a roller coaster and watch people go on it all day long,all day long, but it's never going to be the same as if youwere to actually get on the roller coaster. That's kind of a crude example,but you know what I mean. So you have to go experience thingsto have an opinion about them that resonates with the truth. And given likethe two thousand and ten S, I inadvertently and unintentionally helped get donald trumpelected. Kind of set me off on a whole different adventure path. Afterthat, man, after all that happened, I went back to San Francisco Startto do the nonprofit thing again and I still didn't feel like, yeah, it wasn't working. There's just so much to do and so few resourcesto get the things done. That we needed to do so cause too muchstress and when you have bipolar disorder, Adhd, PTSD or whatever. Imean, that environment gave me ped at, PTSD, fresh each day, deadbodies, violence, the whole thing...

...not got on a daily basis.So I had to get the fuck out, and I did so. Anyway,I'm thinking, well, where to go? Like I had this issuewith the trump thing, because I'm like, fucking he'll billies, who elected thisidiot? And but then I'm like, Oh, I don't actually know anybodylike that. I've never been to a place like that. I've onlylived in California. I've traveled other places, but never stayed there longer than afew days, maybe a week most. That's not enough. From living inSan Francisco and living in downsound Los Angeles, living in Hollywood and placeslike that. Okay, I get it. I know the liberal ideal. Iknow. HMM, yeah, just I'm really progressive and carrying kind bleedingart kind of person, but I don't think like people are stupid. SoI'm like, let's go see somewhere else. I didn't really have an idea ofwhere, and then, when the opportunity came up, a friend ofmine was in Louisiana. So at the end, like basically a year agofrom now, I took a train from San Francisco down to Los Angeles andacross over to Louisiana. So I've been in the deep south now for thefull year and it's been fascinating. So it's kind of allowed me to developa couple more theories, if you will, on top of the research I doon brand science and things like that. So coming up in the it kindof the next season I'm going to cover things like neophilia and things likea tunaments and a whole bunch of different stuff like that, see how wecan make us feel better. You know, he'll help us think differently about ourselvesand how we fit in and which tools are more useful than others andthat sort of thing. But I wouldn't have been able to do that hadI not kind of gotten on the roller coaster and went to see how otherpeople live. Well, now that I see how people in the deep Southare not just visiting and you know they're just like everybody else. They justbeen programmed differently, and so we're all kind of victims of are programming reallyso that's part of the start. How do we program each other in akind kind of prosperous way moving forward? Those are going to be some bigthemes. We talked about in two thousand and twenty on this particular podcast,which kind of cool. I think you'll enjoy that part. So I wasstressed out and man, I got like kind of a HYPOCHONDRIAC. Anyway inmy butt was hurting. My but kept hurt and I'm like, Oh shit, I got butt cancer. I had anal cancer something. What, whatthe fuck is this? And I'm like, Oh, maybe it's just Hamrohid orsomething whatever. But it didn't go wet and didn't go away and longshort of it, I ended up having them call an Oscar he last yearor this year, two thousand and nineteen, and it was Hamorroid and they justhad it removed and Yay. Those exciting but like a lot of stresswhen you think like, Oh my God, I could have a deadly disease.That's weird and it's it's bad enough we have brain issues and disorders inher head that won't go away, but...

...to have a physical aiment that couldgrow and kill you like much quicker. That was scary. Anyway, workthat out. It wouldn't have otherwise. But now that I have I cantell everybody, hey, middle aged men, go get a Colin Oscarpy, towhich most of my friends be like fuck that, but you know what, if you don't, you really could die. So take care of yourbusiness if you can. And, like I said, I did. Itwas stressful, stressed out, took care of it. DRS did come backin ten years and like fuck yeah, that's awesome. So that was stresswas alleviated. Then we had kittens. When we moved to a different placehere in Louisiana, twenty six off the side of the highway, we hada box of kittens when we first got here. They weren't ours, littleseven little kitties and they were super cute, but we could not keep them all. So we raise them from kitties to big enough to be foster outto full time homes. That's true, the right way to say that,but anyway, find them permanent owners, I guess. So that was cool. In the interim we had another big fluffy cat that we were fostering andshe was cool, but she was kind of cranky. But it didn't matterbecause we kept all the tiny kitties in the one of the bathroom anyway,so they're separate. We didn't realize that, once we got rid of the KITTIES, that the the big fluffy foster cat, was still angry at everyall the other normal cats we kept. So those kind of interesting. Andthen one day after we'd gotten rid of the KITTIES, not gotten rid ofthem, you know, found them homes, took them to the cat rescue placewe kept here in this me me me like a crazy cat without itwas a pregnant Mama cat stuck under the house. So we eliminated all possibilityof that. And Man when the one day we just fucking ran out tothe farm and got the raccoon trap, brought it back over here, setthat little fucking within about not even five minutes, we caught the little fucker. It was a tiny little kitty again, not one of the original seven,because they're much bigger now and they're moved on to homes. This isa new kitty and one like how the fuck did this get here? Becauseit had been like record breaking cold, like below zero freezing temperatures the pastfew nights and here this little fuckers just mew and me, you, meand me. Yeah, crazy. So we got that that Kitty Out,took it to the vet and it turned out had kitty HIV, or fivefeline immunovirus, which sucks but it's not horrible. So some some kind ofI guess, soul searching, if you will, and prioritizing and big fluffyfoster cat who's angry we felt was the biggest risk at starting crazy brawls,like fight fights, because a cat with...

Fiv won't give it to humans.It's not A it's not human virus. You can't catch it. You cangive it to other cats, but it requires like a deep bite and akitty can't really bite a cat like that that deep. So anyway, longand short of it, we found a big fluff feed cat we'd been fosteringa new home. We kept the tiny little black cats and now we're backdown to three and I've got a little black Kittie probably you might actually hearbecause she is playtime right now and she's been jumping through the Christmas decorations andthings. So if you hear a little bell ringing or that kind of thing, that's not your imagination. She's sleeping in the chair right by my feet. That's maxine waters. That's her name. Lady at the vet said, what'sthe CAT's name? Said maxine waters, because that's her name. Yes,it's her name. Just yeah, I think it's funny because she's ashe's, you know, strong, independent black woman, were black female,in this case a cat. So I think maxie waters is a cool name. And no, it's not Max it's not maxine, it's maximum waters,or representative, whichever you want to call her. So that's the cat storyand yeah, I'm sticking to it. What the fuck is this? This? I have an actual console, like a radio console, so I havesounds. So if I ever feel like poking fun of myself, you knowsomething might come out of the blue. What the heck you talking about?And those are my favorites right there. These from Goddamn, that was fromFargo. What the heck you talking about, Bill Macy? Look that. Andthis was from a fairly brothers movie. I'm not sure which one. Whatthe fuck is this? Maybe Jeff Bridges? I don't know, justplaying around. It was wild. Remember in the beginning of two thousand andnineteen when I tried to have a cohost. Oh, that's right, you don't, because I deleted those episodes. But that was a shit show.If you're running a podcasts, don't try to help everybody and then off ofthem a cohosting spot. Just word to the wise, like vet these peoplefirst, because this person was like a, I don't know, kind of likea crystals and candles kind of person after all. And then pull thefast one. And you know, like how Donald Trump, when he's accusedof doing the wrong thing, instead of just coppying to it, he'll doubledown and do double wrong. He'll like actually go do more of that,and I'm like that's what that person did. Like fuck. So that was kindof a low point. That was all happening around the same time asthe Goddamn hamroid thing, so life was fucking miserable. I in March.It's obviously much better now because I've gotten rid of the HAMROID and the Cohost Nice Huh. Anyway. So part of what I think about nineteen,two thousand and nineteen represents the whole decade where you just kind of got it. Let it go, so let's put...

...another music song. Storm inside.Don't control. I love that version. You guys listen to that much.That's that. Dude's name is Leo, like the Lion. He's got ayoutube channel and all he does is metal covers of pop songs. That particularone is kind of awesome, though. I like it. It doesn't.It doesn't sound so sticky. It sounds like a serious song. Pretty Badass, though, because it's familiar. People know what it sounds like and theyknow the words. A man so many sequels. Frozen, frozen two isout. You go see those. I go see like the Pixar ones,but not the whatever whoever makes frozen dream works or something. I don't don'ta boycott that Shit. Pigs are or nothing, because I'm an adult.So I look weird in kids movies by...

...myself. It's articulous. But Pixardaytime, when the Kids Week Day? Let's cool boy. Okay, I'mgoing to switch over here and see if you guys can help me with this. So I'd like to do the podcast a way, less structured, asif, as if it has structure now, but much shorter, like fifteen totwenty minutes, like Monday, Wednesday, Friday, like almost every day.I kind of wish there was a mental health radio show, like onserious exam or something, where the whole channel's mental health stuff and you couldjust tune into Dja's or talkers or presenters, whatever the fuck you want to callthem. Not influencers, just you know, people talking rate Dj kindof people all day long. So I think you would be neat to havelike you in a big city. They got like the morning zoo crew orChopo traphouse. I think it would be fucking cool to have a mental healthversion of that where all of the hosts kind of have that that vibe andalso, you know, are suffering from some kind of disorder and but they'realso performers, like behind the mic and can kind of control a show andmake it entertaining. So at some point I'd like to do that with morepeople, but in the meantime I'm me and I have the energy most ofthe time to put a show together. It's not really the energy that Ilack, it's the SELFCOMP FIDENCE to turn on the MIC and just start talkingbecause you feel like a Weirdo. It's almost like sitting in a confessional boothand talking to a priest on the other side of the wall. But there'sno brain, there's no priest, there's just a dude in a bood box. It's just you in a box. It's kind of what it feels like. That said, it's pretty easy just to get an idea to talk about, tons of ideas to talk about. That's just a matter of overcoming mylack of confidence and like, does anybody can give a fuck? Do Ieven give a fuck? I do, or I wouldn't think about them.And I guess it really doesn't matter if you care because you're listening and Iappreciate that. So let's move on. There are some guests I'd like tohave on the show and if you're on twitter like I am and you knowany of these people, maybe you can hit them up for me, becauseI'm kind of, I don't know, socially awkward in these situations. Idon't want to contact people like I'm full of myself, but I don't wantto not contact them either. So if we can get like a warm handoff, here we go. Show list thirty members. If you're on twitter,you can follow this list to go to bipolar style. It's my twitter handleand there's a list called show guests. Wish List Two thousand and twenty,and here are the people just going to read off their twitter handles. AreNeed my glasses, all right, black mental matt one, Johnny underscored,Gfm Aubrey. Let's a MG. Well,...

I won't even finish that one.Basically, the Gal who runs the bipolar, International Bipolar Foundation, AccountAubrey. I want to interview you. Yes, Dark Rise Project, iestrangers, which is these fucking awesome documentary. Three identical strangers. amnxiety. Ilike to interview Marie. So, if anybody knows anxiety directly, well, I'm connected with her. I guess I should just like get over mylack of confidence and just ask her. Moonbeam life, neuro rebel. Thoseare autistic folks. I like to interview somebody that represents the autistic community.Yeah, unpacked sparkle, the sparkle king. Love that guy. I've been wantingto have him on the show for a while. Dr Jessica Seventeen.Blk Mental Health is black mental health? Don A K Linky, official Macof fee. Yeah, that's it. I'm want to interview John McAfee.Dudes, fascinating. David M Weissman. That dude is a converted used tobe into trump and then he's now he's into liberals or something like that,but he's getting tons of shit forward on twitter. So I just want totalk to me about tribalism. Isaiah Woods, underscore, sixteen, Dr Aaron Kate, s Aaron Kate, s Seth and one two, the Muslim HippieSakana. I would love to talk to her and get her position on mentalhealth as it pertains to the Muslim community and what it's like to be,quote unquote, x Muslim, if I'm framling that right. If I'm not, apologize. I think that's right. PUSS. So many cool people onthis list. Well, was thirty. Yeah, Roger Blazek. Love tohave him on the show. He's a good supporter. I'm glad I foundhim on twitter. WHAT'S UP, Roger? The soul anarchist, underscore, soulanarchist, Daniel Harper, Dr Lea Lagos, Gabe Howard, twenty nine. Oh Hey, that's one too. So Gabe Howard runs psych central andhe sent me a nice email said he heard good things about my podcast fromhealth central. Of course I have a touch of borderline, so I don'taccept compliments well, and I think he's probably just blowing hot air up myass. But that said, gave has a bunch of cool podcasts on PsychCentralcom so co check out gay powered stuff, but also want to track him downand interview him on this show. NISSA SUNA are, I think we'vespoken, so I believe, Nissa, we're going to talk about peer supportgroups and how people that have specific disorders can help others with the same disorders. That's important, especially given the lack...

...of trained therapist and professionals in thefield. We can help each other. I think Nissa's going to be agreat asset for that, so we're going to talk to her soon. RyanLewie, he's a doctor out in San Francisco, the amazing Jonathan, ifyou haven't seen that documentary, man really got to talk to that guy,the amazing Jonathan, true acceptance and boots, Riley, rusty rockets, and thelady named Harriet a Washington, who wrote a great book about how mentalillnesses are contagious. It's kind of metaphorical, but I think the book is actuallycalled contagious and I'd like to talk to her. So that's kind ofa big old list of thirty people if you know or have contact with,then hit me up, DM me on twitter or go to bipolar stylecom andjust drop me a quick email and we'll connect. Also, you, youright now listening. If you want to be on a podcast, it's notmagic, it's not special. Just hit me up and you can come onand we can talk, you can share your story if you're working on aproject you want to promote. All that all right, and you call Iinadvertently and unintentionally helped get trump elected. Well, that was through software technology. I also happen to use that technology. So I know who some of thebiggest supporters, like the people liking and sharing and tweeting and whatnot,are on twitter. So quickly, let me thank Sophie Becca at that Bword. She's always been a big supporter Roger Vincent's antichrist, Coulter Sa Sam. Who Knew Borderline Counselor Christopher Clark Karita. CAn'tus Aubrey Nora, George Carlin's ghost, Jordan Simon, hell's Bell's bipolar disorder? Yeah, there's actually anaccount at bipolar disorder. Todd Hancock, Kendra, Jim Steele, brain worldmagazine, Katie and of course aims. She's not on this list right here, but I know Ames is always listening and she's always she shows up outof the blue. Whenever I feel down, she's like says higher, how youdoing or whatever. So I think that's awesome. Like how can youfail when you have fans that are like cool like that? I want youto say fans. I'll just say listener night the fans. Sounds presumptuous anda bit ob noxious. So anyway, thanks ames, and thanks to therest of you for not just listening to the podcast but sharing on twitter.So when you have a podcast, it's kind of weird because you're you right. I mean I assume. I assume the way I assume it put it. What I didn't think to understand was that twitter users are not necessarily podcastlisteners and podcast listeners are not necessarily twitter...

...users. So we're those two bigcircles of communities overlap right there in the middle. There's probably only, Idon't know, a few dozen people that do both listen to the show anduse twitter. So I see them pretty frequently and I think that contributes tothe algorithms and then twitter just kind of reinforces that. So it's got.Sometimes it's hard to change. Anyway, I found this new thing called,well, it's not new, it's new to me because I finally was readyfor it. I guess it's called tweet delete. So I'm going to juststart deleting all my tweets. They will be ephemeral the last a few daysand then they'll just go away, I think in I was talking to somebodyabout what twitter is like for me and I think it's like a parking lotwhere I put the flyers for my band's Gig. In this case I meanthe metaphor, obviously, is this podcast is my band and you gotta haveto promote it, so you got to go put flyers on people's windshields.Right. Well, in that sense I'm in a parking lot and putting flyerson people's windshields. I'm also talking to people and Drinking Beers and doing thatwhole thing while I'm on twitter whatever. But I don't want to leave theflyers laying around all the time after I'm done, so I'm going to juststart deleting all the tweets. If you go to my twitter account, that'sprobably only to be maybe ten tweets. At any given time unless I'm gettingangry at a politician and railing against authority, and there might be a bunch,but probably every week. I'm just going to flush all the old tweetsout. Kind of. By that same token, I may also delete orhide all the older podcast episodes, just to keep things focused on the moment. Back to the whole. You know, radio show idea. You can't goback to listen to old radio shows. You either listen to the one that'sToday's or or not. I don't know, plan with some different ideasmoving forward, but I definitely want to do more frequently. Each thing willbe pretty structured. So check this out. I've been collecting stories and I callthem high Jinks, for lack of a better word. Honestly, Iwas just making a logo and I'm like what word described these things? Alot of things the trouble and just stuff, stories from growing up. kind oflike yeah, hi jinks is good. So so I think I'm going toinsert one of these. Oh, and then I got into high coua little bit. So my idea is, I think I got to lay outhere somewhere we're going to do Dudo Doo Doo Doo, Doo Dooo.Start off with the intro and then I'll do maybe a song that kind ofrepresents that episode. I'll read from a high jinks to a high coup andthen to do a song out and based on that and my traditional digressions inthe other things, I think we'll have a nice twenty minute podcast. Yes, see some of these hijinks. If any of these ring a bell withyou or kind of resonate with you and you want me to do those first, let me know. So we got other stuff here like Hyjenk s numbertwo, war zone, the nuclear bomb...

...and helicopter incident. That's a goodone. Number seven car rolls into a ditch on the way to the mineshaft. That was exciting. Crash the getly entourage and San Francisco. Thatwas fun. Plane crashers into a shopping mall. That was interesting. Sohe soon, I mean, and these are the things that I think ofwhen I'm like, I hope I don't start repeating these stories over and overto my kids like it drives me crazy when my parents, especially my dad, repeats the same story about people I don't know and the same story I'veheard over so I just don't want to be that guy. So I've figuredif I just pull all these stories out of my head record them on toa podcasts, there you go. You'll be entertained, I'll get the storiesout of my head, I won't have to repeat them over and over again, and then will there'll be some kind of record that I existed on theplanet. But then I started thinking about the future and what happens if Iget like Alzheimer's, a dementia. I could go back and listen to myselftell my own old stories. So I think that could be kind of fun, kind of amazing too. Maybe you want to do same thing, whoknows, but there's some good ones in there, boy, I tell youJeez. So I got to get ready and head over to my other podcastsshortly. It's about eight o'clock here in the central time. That means it'snine o'clock on the east coast. That means it's three hours till midnight inAmerica. It's already the next year. It's already two thousand and twenty andthe rest of the world, a lot of the world. So hang on, folks. I think it's going to be a exciting, but let's trynot to get too crazy, Turk, get trying to get too angry atthings, and reach out to each other, you know, kind of form atighter community in two thousand and twenty so that when Shit does go crazy, let's inevitably things do, then at least we'll have each other to relyon. Right. So, with that said, you know, I saida move back down to southwest Louisiana and I kind of I've always liked countrymusic, but this is a good song that kind of speaks to my mindright now. Honey, you don't know my mind. I'm on time.Barneluzia, drifter, that's me. You can drove up far from long andhard. A baby, you don't know my I've heard the music convert snappingevery dirty jail live to short for you...

...do wory me when I'm fin andI gave way. I'm a kicking out of it. Baby, you don'tknow my mind. All right, that's about all I've got. I hopeyou have a great night. Be Safe. You know, don't drink and drive. Obviously you don't get high and drive. Sit there, I mean, whatever's go meditate or something. The you know, nobody cares if youdon't go to the party. It's fine, it's just fine, and I'll catchyou on the next bipolar style on behalf of me and the cats,maxine waters. Over there, I'm johnny emotions and I will talk to yousoon. Subscribe Cheese following on twitter. He's so stupid. And now backto the wall.

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