Live from Emo Dojo
Live from Emo Dojo

Episode · 1 month ago

Personal perspective and parental estrangement


John Emotions talks about what he's recently learned about his skewered perspective of himself after a recent survey of his peers; Parental estrangment and how we set examples for our kids; updates on voice acting and NFT projects

Album art is EMODOJO #4, available as a 1 of 1 NFT at 

And welcome back to Modjo, I'm johnnymotions, thanks for being here thanks for letting me in your head once againto day, I'm talking about individual perspective and estrangement. What whatare all these things? Here's, what it's all about! Okay, so you know I got togive you an update on the on the voice coach and the FT stuff, real, quick,real, clear, so FT thing if you've listened to otherPODCASTS, I'm lit up on that Shit right now. I'm man almost like hypomanicabout it. Try Not to be I'm just really excited, and it keeps me up late at night, not too latea little bit later than normal, but long story short. The N ft timingthing is now. If you are a creative person, you need to get your ass into nftse. Just do it. However, you can not listen to me. Go listen to otherpodcast, I'm not an NF podcast, of course, but it well here's the thing explainingan ft to somebody or even cryptocurrency, or any of that stuff it after a while it feels like, maybeback in the day when they tried to get all the people to turn in their goldfor paper money and the people that held gold, like you want me to give me,give you my gold for that piece of paper. You're fucking, you fucking nuts,no fucking way, and I think a lot of people right now, forgetting those lessons of the pastthink the same way of crypto currency they're like what you want me to tradein my piece of paper, money for an imaginary pixels on a screen. Yes,that is exactly what is happening. So a couple of things are converging.Then the timing for N F TS is now. I need to focus my commitment on that.Also, I started to do my homework for my voice over instructor, theparticular voice over instructor I had chosen is into long form non fiction books non fiction. I lovein fact that's most of what I consume. I read and listen to long form nonfiction books. Well, as it turned out, I can't sit in a booth for more than tenor fifteen minutes before I get really anzy and I losefocus and there's just no way. I could do long form anything, so I am going toput this particular voice coaching session on, holds and look forsomething else. Well, here's a strange thing would happen right. So inbuilding an n FT team of local artists,...

I met with one of them who does a bunchof work for a big government agency. Let's call it creative work and theyuse voice over talent, pretty frequently short form stuff like quick, explainervideos, and things like that. So when we met up to talk about NF forbranch on Sunday, he gave me a list of like five local voice agents, voice,talent, agents to check into, and also wanted to avoid completely. So Ithought that was cool and kind of fortuitous in that same sense that onceyou decide to go in a direction, things tend to a line for you. So anyway, I'mgoing to not do the vocal coaching for long termon form of sorry narration, going to focus specifically on n FTESand then shopping for more local jobs in the voice over field like for a carcommercials, and things like that. That sounds like a blast to me. I'm notgoing to do one right here on this, because you know me and I'm embarrassedin front of you, but if I have a script- and I know it's for somebody else-that's not you! Yes, I can read the shit out of a car commercial. So that'sthe angle we're going for there. The N ft thing is pretty amazing. I would nottalk about it, any more you'll figure it out if you're intomaking money or a living. You just got to giveyourself a chance. Imagine now, if we were back like eight years ago and youhad the money to invest in Bitcoin and now you just got all kinds of itright. Well, a similar thing is happening now, with n FTSE, except thecost to entry is not money. It's your creative talent and, if I know anythingI know most of the people that are well almost all of the people. I know thatare diagnosed with mental illnesses or disorders, they're, creative people. Ofcourse, that's not to say all creative people are mental, but it is to say allthe mental people I know are creative and I think a lot of that. The older Iget and the more wisdom I gain. I think, a lot of feeling out of it feelingmental feeling, disordered or even ill has a lot to do with you simply notbeing in alignment with the Shit you're supposed to be doing with your lifeanyway, and I know it's hard in a capitalistworld to like be a creative person, the whole. You know trope of the strugglingartist and what not has been around forever well, maybe not struggling. Somuch anymore, maybe this is the revolution. Maybe this is the rise ofthe creatives and it came on so suddenly I don't know if most peoplehave even caught on it's really wild and it's a fun rabbit hold. There'ssome great podcast. I listen to a new one is called proof. Just look up forthe proof podcast. I think their website is proof. Dot X, Y Z, whichyou'll find is pretty common in the crypto world, the X Y Z sub Demano webdomain.

Another one I like a lot is called N ftnow. So, if you're a creative for God's sake, please go look into ftse rightnow, and you know you might be able to do something that you've always wantedto do your whole life and actually make a living or a great living. Now, I'mnot saying that you know. Eventually it's going tobecome like any other thing, that's cool and find it's going to be be likeoh well, there's too many there's millions, there's millions of yea.Everyone wants to be in a band, you know, or everyone wants to have an nfdor a podcast or what not, but and if ts are different, I feel it in my bones:I'm a huge evangelist about it, which is funny because I don't really knowshit about them. I just know I'm an artist, and I know that that's a way tolock in creative value for evermore so backing up to the voice. Coaching thingI had gone through a lot of the coaches course work. You know doing my homeworkand all that one of the things they talk about isyour personal brand. So much like if you're in a band, the record stores ofthe old days or even you know, modern streaming services need to know whatcategory to put you in. Is it rock? Is it rb urban, contemporary country, ed M,all that well in the voice over world? First ofall, you need to pick a category or a genre, for example, long form nonfiction. That's the thing: Car Announcers, commercial, announcers,explainer, videos, those are all different types of voice work you cando, but you still have to brand yourself.You have to be specific, so the questions in the course work Iwas taking ask things like you have to find out. What's your personality andthen you know: What's your physical presenceand what's your vibe, so what I did based on his description of those terms.As I put up a survey, monkey survey monkey put up a survey monkey form.What's the survey monkey for M, it's a survey, I put up a survey on theInternet and sent it out to a bunch of peoplethat have both known me for a long time since high school and also people that know me now and are with me every day and here's. What is Super Weird andsuper fucked up to me anyway? So, okay, here's some of the things all rightbear with me, I'm not trying to to my own horm just trying to I'll get to thepoint and you'll see that I'm absolutely not Tut in my own horn well describe John's personality I'll just read through some of theanswers that I don't know who wrote these answers, though that's the coolthing, because it's purely anonymous, I just have a time stamp and the wordsthey used so describe John's personality, Fun, random, friendly,curious, creative motivated life experienced, who does that mean oldthem kidding, driven to learn new...

...things with an inherent rebelliousnature yeah. That person knows me pretty good, thoughtful, curious, easygoing, intelligent, Quirky, energetic, informative fun, loving, intelligent, outgoing andconfident hard worker thinks outside the box sounds positive, but can gonegative in a minute. Oh Yeah! That person definitely knows me, outgoing.Both smart and Hilarious, see you guys. I told you creative, charismatic, reliable,energetic, loyal, friendly and soothing, so those are all comments from therespondence of people that have known me since Iwas a kid and who know me continually now: Okay, here's what's fucked upabout it that those all represent the person I want to be so I'm like okay, but so I want peoplee to see meas those things. However, I never think I'm portraying those thingsI feel like it just now. I don't feel like that at all. I have really lowself image and I can't believe that I'm actually projecting what I want toproject so there's both a really profound sadness that I'm actually, Iam kind of the person I hoped I was, and also maybe I have been that way fora long time- and I just didn't know it- that's crazy. That means I've just beenwasting opportunity if people think I'm this way. Maybe I should just be thatway: wild physical present stuff is kind ofboring, so relaxed and in inviting to conversation I like that, actually nonintimidating, intelligent and extremely friendly cool, strong presence. If Johnis in the room, you are probably interacting with him yeah, because Idon't leave anybody alone, welcoming drummers tapping. That is for sure Iself stem all the time. My Legs Rock in my foot, STAP under my fingers, havehappened. I probably drive most of the people. That know me crazy. With thatone aspect of my behavior alone. I like this one, welcoming sexyapproachable. I don't know who answered at six thirty seven in the morning andsaid sexy, but high five well, groomed distinguished andmaintained, always aware clean cut, looks healthy, another healthy,inspiring word. I like it, someone answered at four o three in the morninginspiring. That's awesome, impressive, real! That's! No Way! I think I put this ontwitter. I wonder if a twitter follower snuck in there so yeah four o three, am inspiring impressive, real, genuine handsome, clean and relaxed cool cool. Now, I'm juststarting to curious what other answers...

...four or three in the morning answered:Let's go up back to this one okay, so they said both smart andHilarious, all right now, my vibe, but that was a little harder to define. Butbasically your vibe is the unspoken of the you know. The I don't even know howto say it's the energy you bring into a room which is not it's not smoking.It's not spoken, you don't speak it out or it's not the noise you make of theclothes you wear it. Just how you carry yourself. I guess anyway, that's a horrible descriptionof it, but it was a better description in the survey monkey. The answer is turned out to be chilland easy. Going creates a creative with a let's get to work, vibe mentality, team, Guy, innovators, vibe cheerful,yet mellow. He makes every one feel like what they're saying is superinteresting, different vibe that beats to its owndrum fun, easy going. You know you are with a friend and ready for interestingconversation, sometimes a heated debate. If he can bate you enough yeah. That's actually true positive andpeaceful joyous. Someone thinks I'm vibe isjoyous. God bless you. That's amazing. Next, the one said Guntag t a Rollinlooking to have fun positive, peaceful, always positive. He always has a smileand can get the room talking knowledgeable, welcoming all right cool.So that's my vide, my physical presence and my personality as described bypeople who have known me since I was young and now that work with me on theday to day, and yet I don't see any of those traits.I aspire to be like that, but I don't feel like I'm achieving that so really interesting. So why do Ithink that? Well here I was looking up parental estrangement like this is therunning theme in my life, because I miss my kids a lot and I'm like tryingto research and like why? Don't they talk to me because I understand why what you know the situation just totens or whatever, but I once the situation ante like we were like livingon top of each other and just just stressful man, three people in littleapartment and within a new town and nobody had jobs, and it was prettyfucking wild anyhow. Now that that's over, I stilldon't hear from them. So first I thought it was something I did and nowI start to think it's just the way we've been programmed or what we'veseen as examples in our prior lives and things like that, because in many waysI was thinking back. I put my parents on this shit list, for you know acouple of years at a time too, I think my mom made it on my shit listfor maybe two years or so just because she didn't care well. Shewas on my sheet list for a long time when she kicked me out of the house,but up e from like fourteen years old... about. I don't know my earlytwenties when I got married, but in my mind that was on her. She kicked me out,so I'm like I'm just trying to live and any time I'd ask for help, but Igot none. So I just kind of pointless and seem to be just dragging me downthat reconciled reconciled yeah that reconciled and my mom was at my weddingand all that stuff, and we talked now in fact I'm going back to Californiafor the Christmas holiday and I'm excited about it. So so there and my dad- and I we've been estranged when first of all, he just moved out onus. Like my mom, didn't kick him out, he left us and he basically went and started a newfamily and then eventually they got divorced after several years. But bythis point had been like ten twelve years since he was in the bay areawhere we had lived and yeah it was just a mess. So you know again, he ended upcoming to my wedding in my early ties and we talked off and on you know itwas about pretty comfortable relationship just talking on the phonea couple times a year, whatever lived, maybe two hundred miles away from eachother and of course, since I had no real reason for estranging him,everything at that was normal. Later more recently, let's say when I needed my truck like my suv, themost because I had just been: let go from a job surprisingly, oh because Iwas being a whistle blower and he had my my suv up in Tao like few hundred miles from San Francisco,where I'd lived and long as short of it. He had put mytruck in his name and refused to give it back to me when I needed it to moveto just get my shit like basically tried to steal my truck. He said hedidn't, but regardless, if you keep something from somebody when they needit, it's effectively stealing and he ended up you never giving itback at my kids had to go, get it from him, which is ridiculous to even evolvethem at all so and he that okay, that's the thinghe never apologized for that. He never acknowledged that what he did wasnefarious or malicious. He just as clueless about the whole thing. Sountil he can figure out, you know what he did wrong. He sell the emails backand forth. He was mad. Talking Shit about me, you know making up psychiatricdisorders that I don't have you know telling his friends, you knowhe's not sure if he wants to kill me or not, you know, and the dude is x copwith a gun so fuck all that you know until he comes right. It comes correctand actually acknowledges what he's done and apologize for it then yeahhe's on my shit list and I think that's a valid reason. I just don't need thatin my life and so with my kids. I just don't know what it is, but apparentlyon my research with parental alienation, which is when the divorce parent kindof poisons the kid against the other...

...parent. That's one main reason for being estranged. If you will, in other words, is not one thing, I didit just kind of a way they've been brought up. You know it's funny when you hear thetheme music. That's my what I call my brother,that's Ray, my let's call brother Ray and we've been close since the seventhgrade when he was a drummer in the jazz band in school, and I came in and I wasan actual drummer and so ray went back to trombone for a second, but in theinterim there's a school talent show so ray, and I both play drums is like justtwo drummers doing drum soles together. That was, our talent show and wefucking rock the whole like seventh grade, everyone loved it, though yeahfucking great long story show, is kind of like the Van Halen Story, Ray picked up, guitar and the rest ofhis history. Man He's a phenomenal guitar player. Well, so that's howclose Ray- and I are to this day- we have a psychicconnection, even if we don't talk, we communicate, and so what happened a fewyears back after all, these years of my ex, you know swear and she didn't talk,Shit Up. No, never say anything, the right of course that you know in yourheart of hearts so fuck as she's just lying to me right now and she hell ofTalk Shit well, my oldest son has a pretty unique name. It's not a weirdname, but it's unique enough, especially for someone his age and raise niece started dating my son, my oldest son, and she was telling Ray when she went overto raise house. She Goes Oh yeah, you know my new boyfriends Dad's, a drugaddict and that this dog in a his match it and it didn't, take them long to put twoand two together when ray found out that his niece is boyfriend, I'm getting my termsconfused what his niece's boyfriend my son, his name because, like I said it'sunique name, I'm not going to say it on podcast but anyway, so ray said, Blah Blah Blah. My last name. She goes yeah. So basically she's heard the whole story. So my axused to talk mad shit about me to everybody that would listen. She justcrafted this whole story. Well, of course my kids are in the mix of it allfor their whole lives, and they just don't know any better, and he couldtell when I hear stories. They remember all the bad things. They don't rememberall the fun times like how many times how many hikes and bike rides we wenton and how many concerts we went and how many nights I would I mean everynight, I'd read them. Books read them to bed. We play King of thering on the mattresses, all that fun stuff. They don't seem to remember it.They remember just anything negative like Oh that time I broke my arm orthat time you almost drowned me or...

...stuff, like that. I like what okay, soanyway, your environment directly affects how you see things and otherpeople, and so that's how people become estrangedis you know, through parental alienation and just small things thathappen over time? That, if you think somebody is one way, then your brainhas a Hoyer istic mechanism inside of it that clumps everything to that ideal.For example, if I want to buy a red portia now, I'm going to start seeingred portes everywhere I go, you wouldn't think there are that many ofthem, but they're everywhere. Once you think about that's the thing you want.That's the story I'm going with. I want a red port and the same thing goes withkids. If you are raised to believe that your father's a drug addict, assholeBlah Blah Blah well, every new story, you're going to hear you're going tofirst compared to that story, there's a match. Yes, I'm going to stick it there.Does it not match? No, I'm going to discard it. So you know I don't blamethem at all for that, because you know I explain minute of Gu estranged, myown parents for specific reasons and then made up. So what I'm hoping isthat eventually they'll see that we're a strange for reasons that are nolonger valid, and maybe we can be a family again. So that's what I've learned. It's kindof help mellow me out a bit the thought process and also focusing more on the art right now,because I've always been an artist like actual artis, a graphic designer artistand stuff like that and I kind of talked to decide. I never reallythought like that was a valid way to make money, but it seems like the door might beopen. So, let's go through it. Let's check out an ftse make some money,relax, get back in the swing of things and maybe not feel so mental. So I appreciate you for listening andI'm going to try to get some of these FT artists to come on the they probablywon't come on as their real name or anything because honestly they'remaking so much money they're at risk. You know for hackersor thieves in real life or whatever that's how much money some of thesefolks can make. But some of their stories will amaze you because theysound just like me and you in that you know people always shut them down. Theywere never good enough. You tried to submit work to a gallery. You getlaughed at the whole thing and now who's laughing these mother fuckers USmother, fuckers like us, can now go make a money, make it the money with some art work.So that's worth of shot. That's what I'm going to do thanks for listening,and I look forward to hearing from you or talking to you next week. In themeantime, just keep living and now back to the wall.

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