Live from Emo Dojo
Live from Emo Dojo

Episode · 4 years ago

Postpartum Bipolar Disorder with Dyane Harwood

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

John and Dyane discuss her new book, "Birth of a New Brain," about Postpartum Bipolar Disorder. They discuss what the condition is, how Dyane experienced it, and how the book came to be. They also talk a little about their favorite Netflix shows including Black Mirror, Lady Dynamite, and Theo Vonn. Also, we include more talk of a #bipolarcabal on Twitter and lots of bipolar digressions. Keywords; Post-partum depression
Get the book here: http://bit.ly/dyaneharwood
Follow Dyane on Twitter @dyaneharwood

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Ha Welcome back to by polar style, thepodcast for by polar people and those who love them. Joi US online F, Ipolarstylecom and now Tis your o Johnny motion. Thank you, Jos e Mesican, troduction,and welcome back to the bypolar style podcast today, I'm especially esteemedto have such a great guest she's an author. She actually wrote a book. Doyou know h hard, that is to write a book, especially if you have bipolar soshe wrote a book about something. I knew nothing about called postpartum bypolar depression. She's on twitter, I'm going to give you a twitter handle onesecond, so you can follow along while we're talking her name is DianeHarrwood thanks for coming on the show Diamne, I'm really happy to beat here. I wish Iwas the first guest. I was a little jealous of Jason B, but he's so cooland good. Looking, I'm okay with it now I knew it I' like dude when people,because there's a it's hard to like be out like you guys, are so to speakbecause of the stigma in the world. So when you put your real name out thereand your real face, I give you propis, but yeah, I'm all Jason. When peoplestart hearing this podcast and seen your face, you know you're Gon Na havesome admirers and your wife is going to be beating them off the stick. Sopretty soon, we'll have like the bipolar grudge match of twitter ofpeople against twitter people it'll be awesome, no I'm just teasing. So thanksfor thanks for coming on, though you were maybe not the first guest, but youwere definitely the first top supporter in September. You kicked everybody'sButt on my leader Board. So thank you for that right. There's, crazy, alcomy,that the reason you couldn't get back up the next month, because one of themain point earners for that algorithm is signing up. So when you sign up toyour email address, you get like a whole bunch of points and it's hard toget that many points through just tweeting and commenting anyway. It'sangled for me to get more people to sign up. So I have a bigger email list.Ultimately, Yeah O. I'm glad you explain that tomeecause. I wanted to win again. I wanted to get another shirt. I love myshirt. You just have yoyesign up with another email address like I do. I know th Awell. I guess I said you could doit because I like the idea of people having the shirts anyways and it's waycheaper for me than paying for twitter ads to just go, buy a shirt forsomebody who doesn't live. T shirts right and I di you like the shirt. I honestly,I'm really like cuy about wearing, like I've, never born a shurt about bypollar before and what I like about the shirt, the dting that you have, itdoesn't like say, pool or Oni t kind of leaves a little bit to the imagination,but I just don't, like short to say, like Bi Col, you know that's what I wasthinking, I'm like. How can we be sneaky about this and get a brand outthere that we coan recognize each other, but without having to explain ourselvesto Normes, actually a church Guy, a guy work withthat at work, who's really in to church and stuff he's like a pastor on hisspare time. He straight of asked me yesterday, he's all so you're going totell me what your shirt means and I'm like H, yeah, it's Yenan he's all yeahgot thatt's a Ying Ang anm like well, it's a happy inang he's like Oh okay. Isee that was it. I just left Ityeah yeah. Ijust left I at that at hat. You work o work because I know you're on the downlow and you really carefulso, Oh yeah yeah, but it's such such an Inangraphic and I liked looking at it. You know I just it's pleasing to me to lookat so anyway, all enough about the t shirts, but people could always go tolike by polar stylecom and biatshirt that we're talking about, but I know Ha.I noticed Thouh like I'm wearing my sweatshirt right now, and this logo iscool on me, because I'm kind of giant but that logos humongus on your tanktop. So I got to fix that. It's like the size of our LP and I'm like Whoa.Okay. So I apologize so you have like a rare addition. I'm going to make muchsmaller logos, but I don't want to make...

...it too small. Look like a third breastin the middle either. So it's Rit there's that got to be a happy medium.Maybe like a forty five pitis very big, I had to kind of Struggle Togetteli,irself D, tthe, whole thing. I don't know I think II creet up Bu Tyno, it'sgreat the fact that people know that, oh it that's actually a brand in thereal world and not just the icon on somebody's twitter account. It startsto make it more more of a thing. Okay. So we could talk to the entire podcastabout this. Let's do that just kidding okay yeah, because you should have yourown podcast, but you're kind of, like my other friend who just hops aroundfrom podcast to podcast, and everybody knows him as like a podcaster, but hedoesn't have to do the work of putting together podcast and, like that's melike I'm, going to jam night at the local Bar, I don't have to like be in aband or you know maintaind gear or slep around any gear. I just show up and hitdrums. So that's what you guys are you're like you're like jam night,podcast El, I you know- and I kind of made he similar type of mistake,Thursday. I did my first very first book tiing Flash. I did a twenty minuteeducational powerpoint presentation, which I saw that crowd Wa o room it Wasit was a lot of work. ND Neverybody had got hands up, asking questions, yeah howd that go. Tell me more about howyou set up a book signing and well. Let's back up. Let's talk about thebook. We you can come back on another show and we'll talk about rejection andhow you found out about your own bipolar, but so you have you've writtena book which is no small feet about something called postpardum by polardepression, which I totally butchered a couple episodes ago I kept calling itsomething that is not. I can't remember, I mix the words up, but anyway, post part OFM depression,but it's not just the depression. Is's it post part of Mania is included inthat which is really the part it makes you feel, or it makes me feel quote,unquote crazy. Depression just makes yo feel like I want to die. It makes mefeel like miserable everyone hates me, but when the mania starts leaking inthen I start to have the energy to take action on some of those negative things,and you start to like get your pull your hair out. Bang your head againstthe wall, kind of feeling. So H. I don't even know how to dig intothis, because I don't know much about postpartum depression to begin with. So,let's start there tell me about or tell e tell the men listeners about whatpost part of depression is, how you get it and the difference between that andby polar okay, very, very good question,actually, first of all, okayi's called post partem by polar discorder, becauseit is encompesses, Tis, term depression and puts part of me, but all I'll getback to that one N, a second and start with the one that most people haveheard about in media, which is just postpartof depression. So move disorder apparent to pall apyroneel. We disorder that strikes after you've had a baby, and it canactually happen during pregnancy to where you have horrible horribledepression, and you have all the same symptoms as any guy who's had terribledepression except you have a baby with you right right, there'Sou, N, there's a lot ofawareness with it. Now there needs to be more, of course, but there's a lotof arness. It's really obvious like if you have trouble depression, peoplenotice that around you was what what was hard. Forgive me FOM, jumping backand forth between these two tornado ne disorder. You, like your bipolar orsomething it's like you're bipolar or somethingall the jumping back and forth jees. Oh, I now Dere, I no I'MCO, I'm sorry Idothe! Unfortunately, I'm not I'm good right now, I'm stable you're, great I'mtoall Fal, I'm totally following so yeah keep going. This is totallycurious about this at'sthat's Amiracle notnot on your cast, but anyway, Oso bytoller can be really tricky because...

...thet can masas either as postparensdepression as as depression after you have the baby or as Menia. So if youhave the media, which is what I had, I post part on media after my seconddaughter was born. I seemed really happy, but I didn't seem crazy off thehook. Happy Right! No one thought you know, there's a problem here but whet Idid over the six weeks. That fog was that just escaated. It got worse andworse and worse, O undetected, and I went from Hypomenia, which you knowmeans Lessermania into fullloan acute me. Eri was just like not sleeping andand then now you'll love this. I was doing this really weird symptoms calledHypographia wiit's, a condition where you just write like nonstop othatExplaineno. I haven't but expends how you were able to write a book whatd youa like it, took me ten years to write the book when you have Hypographia alot of times. Tho stuff you write is like Pardof, my Frendh that shit and itcan't even s legible it'll, be like a scrawl. You think that Ahat. Can you think that you're writing?Like the next Bible? I wrote stuff like that when I was on LSD once and I' mind.This is so profound. I unlocked the secret to the world and then the nextday I woke up. You know straight saying or whatever, and I'm like this isgarbage. This is not profounder. This is just this is like kindergart or whatwhatever it was. I was judging myself backwards, but it when you're Madickwas a strange strange similarity to be on on LSC, with those kind of thoughtsthat it's like. Oh this is. This is some great writing I like to think.Maybe in another timeline it is but yeah. Well, cridit en it was in yourbrain and and this I should throw this little factoay ot at you, becauseyou'll appreciate this, but most of the people who did Hypographia. They havetemporal log epilepty. They don't have ut, but a lot of people with I fullarget it by pulling Meia triggers that they just not talked about that much soso whateve Maye, lst activates, the temporal love of the brain, is what I'mthinking yeah, that that is interesting. HMM WE'RE NOT SCIENCIST, folks, we'renot doctors, but this that's totally Fastlati, because the Lilikelamicte andthings like that. Those kind of mets are also given to people with thatpilepsy Afuny Danti, that's wiy! I've takenthat yeah yeah! I mean that's Aanti Sazer antiiguess. It's called HAntisezur, but that's given to bypolar folks, interesting to braind such afascinating thing, so Hypographa Huh, Eahi, hypergraph, yea hi per okay,Hiprogra Hypo. If it's hypobrate than you're like rigy relt, my letters aremiting Eke. What the Hellma doing hs laptop. Iwould find it in the middle of the night. So I wasn't sleeping and thenwhen he his hiding places got really good. I would just PA a pencil and likesfill up andlike this other woman, the same as writer who wrote about it. Shewould write on her body and she's right on her arms yea years toilet paper.Whatever sources you can, so it's like you really do. Your brain really doesgo t heywere, so I don't notally had Pustpartmenian, but I also had thisother bizarre Wa. It was like and I would even do mu Y, but I would do it when I wasbresting Bot of my kids because I was still breasting. The older one, whichis total Hippi Santa Cruiz, so i'LD be writing. Ninestop Bo breasting intoscholden were the writing part, because now I'm just imagining like longpassages of paragraph that you'd see in a bathroom stall at the library orsomething now, I'm thinking. Maybe that person had hypographa like whatNeiteryeah and I don't I'm tryin not to laugh at et your condition because I'msure it's maddening when you have it, but that explains ladding. I didn'tknow. That was a thing. I learned something new. I have to laugh. Youhave to laugh there Hav to be some humor. You know. So I is that relatedto OCD sort of...

...the hypographic ord. No, I abtothertdiapage wow check it out. Yeah, you know wecup puss its an awesome name for aband Hypographia did you D, probably isthirs, going to be now. Onia is BYPO.People is cool in a way because I did feellike I had. I had the Grande of thinking going, so I thought well, Ican finally writ- and I have all these important things to write about, butyou know, but they just what the word eapeorated, but at the time you feellike it just if you've ever had witers Blocke. This is the opposite, and it'slike a dream in a way. It's like a great thing to do. I mean, like I know,you're a musician. It would be like adrirummer no, but I thinki'm just saying becauseI'm also a graphic designer my daytime job is graphic design and when peopletickle my fancy with like an idea, my first thought is like jump on. Thecomputer o grab a sketch, pat or something and and design something likedesigned a visual of what you ere talking about, and it comes out reallyorganically, so it works great in the design field because of people come tome with, like a logo concept, I spit it out in two hours just because I'm like,Oh, I got it. It's like the force flows through you and 's like Whoa, take yourhands away from the computer. Just let it do it's thing I so you gotat acking,so much I've been, can help it. This is funny, but no I be like that. Let's sayou be fired for eight hours to do the same thing. Yeah Yeah and you nt wantto stop and you're having that manic. It feels like a fluw the flow thatpeople like normal people attain. You know, try to t to tain. Sometimes maniafeels like the flow. It feels like. Oh here caps just coming out that kind of Li have such a hard timesaying that that's bad at all. But while you have it it's a bit feeling ofout of controlness yeah, it was like yeah, I mean iust, abitter sweet thing, because I wasn't really present like what am I saying I wasn't present formy Childen Oi to little souls who deserved another WHO's there, insteAfsin, Laa land or whatever. That's this. That's such an interestingconcept right there, what you talked about blike, because you were actuallythere it's and what you're considering quote unquote. There is more like areflection of how vair you are now, so you only you look back it's like man. Iwish I could be as present with my kids, then, as I'm able to be now, but therealities you were there, I mean you were there and they just saw you as adifferent kind of person or different personality, but since they grow withyou, I think all think kind of dovetail at the end. So right now they probablythink oh yeah, that's mom and sh'. She is a present and she does her best but yeah. They do know that now, but Ijust fest like I could have to do over. That's all I'm saying it's like O.that's what totally Il feel that way by Pulin guilt, the bipolar, shame of allthe things we think we fucked up. Yep, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's cool! So youso you got Mana Yeah! You got media when you're pregnant, then, and you gotHypographia what happens? Okay, so, How d? How doyou go from there to really finding out you had the mania? How do theydetermine that because it wasn't, you know, is still a relatively new thing.I don't hear people talking about it in a support groups or anything and thenconnect that with how you thought I think I'll write a book about this. That's that's awesome, question. Okay,remember this is ten years ago this is two thousand and seven so thingreson.You know even there's nothing going on as far as awareness, but because I hadbeen raised by my dad who has by poler disorder. There was a part of me thatnew something was really messed ut and I theas part of me that I now believethat was in Denil, like I knew I had. I think I par me tol. I knew I had byPoler, but I just wanted to not admit it, because I was terrified right, butthings got so crazy that Craig and I together was like okay. I have to godown to the BTU which, ironically, we...

...used to live. Like literally John, youlive one block away from the WWEK. You nit went down to you. What? What do youcall it? Yo? U behavoral health o now over there,but the Bhu, Oh yeah, you've pretty familiar with it. If you start to callit by its initials. That's that's a INA intimate relationship with the Oldbhuokay. So that's right used to drive by it to work every single day. It was ina wonderful position directly across from a a hundred year old cemetery,which I found kind of ironic, and I saw would Hav stried by thinking. Ohthere's, no man hell I'd ever be in that play. That's for crazy Yeh Yeahihad an exboyfriend in there. He told me it was so bad. He didn't want me to govisit him, because people were sitting on themselves and doing all kinds ofstuff, and so I got off the book to that. That little did. I know I wasgoing to admit myself voluntarily with baby in a toddler by this is not like. This is in yourhometown. There into downtown every Oiloe, Onsanta Cruz, all right, love,Santa Cruz. In general. You live in a nice Beautiul Ayeah Thia. We just LIV it aslike yeah pactically, Ana Cruiz, and I so we went. There was a kid and I justwalked in Bu atessed and this the head psyhithis Guy Talkd toCrag ta, an idea of what I had been doing, because I wasn't going to tellthem everything and he said down with me and just lookme in the face, and luckily he wasn't one of those arrogant, asshole, tigpts,e's, very human, and he just said you know you have Li poer one, and this istheppose part of Tine Woa straight to one huh. He really did get it Toraitthat I was maniciwas like yeah, yeah Rsyeah, that's Truei, so I didn't freakout, but then I went they had this one pason for the entire place like for thepatient, and I o. As I stopped talking to him, I went to burk to the payphoneand luckily it was empty and I called my Gad- and this is Bhefore cell phoneswere so udiquous and he actually picked up the phone himself and I told him andhe started to pry which he never done before and he felt he felt guilty andhe was he was very like he was emotional, that he would keep it InsidaLat, but he felt responsible. He felt like it was Ihauti Ha Thi yeah and I inI kept heassuring him. It was like one of these things where I Betan theparent and he was kind of like the child and I'm like. Don't Ye Dad. Youknow, everything's Fine Ritat make sense an and se knew I was in for it heknew so. He couldn't feel honky Tory about it. So yeah, that's that's Terriis DA. Youknow what I tin for yeah and that Ga yeah no you're and you're aparent to now- and I have I have three boys, so I'm always like anytime. Anyof them feel sad or isolated. I'm like what can I do.How can I help, but I'm like I'm kind of on the outs from their socialcircles, so I don't have a lot of opportunities, so I just do my bestthrough texting or whatever, but yeah just it's. I don't know it's hard becauseyou don't want them to get sick or get it illness or disorder that that wehave and then have to suffer aloan when, like hey we're right here, we can help.But I L my daughters, a putcer like. Are We goingto get itigive hem thePATITU? Like? Oh, don't worry. If you get it, you know we will be able to keetare of you and you know, but that you know what I dont Av toget it. I willfeel like Shit. I will feel terrible and I'm praying that they don't Ecaus,can't we just start framing it as a superpower that we haven't yetharnessed properly is like hey, wait, we're evolving. I had to do the nextevolution of the gene. You should be happy about this. We just have to learnlike the hulk. You know t to maintain...

...the power within and not let it iruptand hurt others man. I had all kinds of woys when my kids were grown up, like Ikind of explained my bipolar episodes as like a sneeze where you kno givesenses that it was coming. You couldn't really stop it while it was happeningand then after after it was over, you knew if you sneezed done anybody or youcertainly knew who was around when you sneezed so then you simply say excuseme, but nobody ever said bless you to mewhen I had a bipolar episode. That's funny Thal! I like that. I like that analgyeah, it's a God, one for young kids, yeah yeah. I know a nonoalways perfect for young kids. Idon't know, I mean my kids aten and twelve. I mean I think they wouldactually relate to that. More than be intellectual explanation, yeah and thewholeoll idea that we have a disease is so freaky because man we're nodifferent than we were the day before the doctor told us that we're the samepeople and we still feel and experiment with the different medicines andtherapies and all that. But you know self exploration I think, is importantand we were forced into it. So I think that's kind of good there's a lot ofpeople that live. You know relatively stable, normal lives that never haveany self exploration and they don't dig deep into what really moves them. Sothey might not ever achieve the same levels of happiness that we can so Imean there. I think there are some benefits that can be looked at,especially for kids, say, kids always have so much. I Ayo there are so manycreative people, Famou people who have it, who I admire. So I like I'm okaywith being the same club as princes playaan right yeah, and I alwayswondered like what are they even famous because of their bipolar or you know,despite it either way I mean, maybe maybe just to label I aways, you know Istart spinning off and doing this kind of fantastical thinking where, like hmmremember, the Truman show, for example, that movie with Jim Carry so what if wedo, live in a giant simulation. This is just fun folks. It's just talk, I'm notlike seriously. If this triggers you stop stop the podcast go to a differentone, so so say we're we're in a big simulation here and fuck. I gave thatdisclaimer and I totally lost my train of thought. God, Damn it. That's! Okay,that's okaybe! GENTLE WITH MYSELF! Maybe on time ago, befores TVE years, Yeao,yeah, N, itwell kind of also speaks to the whole idea of that we're in amatrix in a simulation and that we are here to play a role. However, we acceptto choose this role because it's also really cool like in the future. When wetalk machine learning and AI, the thing that computers, acines will always suckat is emotion and those of us with a wider range in a higher tolerance foremotion. I think, have a lot to teach the machines of the future, which againis kind of a wacky subject to get into, but I think we're definitely going Toki andmachine learning real quick. So how do we get our emotions into the machinesbefore they just take off on their own, without emotion, at all, exactly yeahthat'd be fun e a black year. Episodei love that you watch black, mirror youguys everysingle episode that Thinama Ting. Isn't it one thing Firstgeyeah, Ilove t well yeah tried to turn some people on on Theye,just not into it that much. But I love it. It's just the right amount offuturistic, distopia mix with social commentary and decision making likeWoll. What would you do in that situation? Yeah en I coul talk. I rty Don' in mebecause I'll talk the whole episode about that. I just can't wait when arethey coming out with a new season already jeesus been forever gots, soslow m O tripping out, like I meanone more thing about that mar like ifyou're goging, to see one of them? Well,...

...you have to see all of them thatthere's somone with the guys from happy days, bronhowardsdaughter who is a wonderful, brilliant actress. Oh Dallas Price, Dallas Howard, sheplays the growl. Did you see that one? I don't know her? What happened? Whathappens in the episode? Oh okay, know. I NOWI'm waiting time that its such isa really amazing episode and she' want to live o h society where they use,they all have to use their sell. Pones O yeah yeahtotally. That's a greatepisode. I didn't know that was Ronhoward's daughter, Thaton HAP yeahhappy days. Like look my Aye, she looks like him a lot yeah now that youmentioned it so yeah for people that haven't watched, there's an episodewhere basically whatoud you say ten years in the future,maybe seven years it's not far in the future. Everything works, the same cars,cars and sinks and Toi everything's normal, except your phone. Now everybody you're in a proximity to willcome up on your phone and you rate your interaction with them right there andthen it's kind of like an UBA ride, but with the dude in front of you at thegrocery store because he's being a jackass and you brought twenty items,so you just give him a hard stare. You looked at your phone, you think you get.You know downstar him so yeah. This episode was, I think it was called adownward spiral, and just this poor GAL is trying to comparehself to her fancy friends off facebook kind of effectively. You know thesocial metin, the feture right yeah and she compares herself to someone likethat. She finally gets invited to a a wedding and on the way there allkinds of bad stuff happens and rading keeps going down and down and down it's.It's amazing. That's just one episode. My other favorite from that season wasthe little killer, bees that where they pick yeah pick somebody to kill off oftwitter and, like Oh, that, that's amazing little drones like Whoa. Thatcould happen too. I love, futuristic stuff. I think that one has to see thatalmost everyone yeah now Black Mirror on Netflix check it out season, one toand te you get Weshoul really get paid for. You know advertising for them, butI guess they probably woN'tdo that yeah. It's still to me. It's cheap content. Ilived in Los Angeles for about three years and now I'm so amazed thatanything at all gets produced just because of so many egos and so manylittle fires to put out in so many moving parts to any kind of production.So Yeah blackmare is a great one, so anyway, okay, so now back to from ourNetflix advertisement, which is totally cool with me as Oh, you know it becauseit's also the home. Let's, let's do this. It's also the home of LadyDynamite, Maria Bamfoo, oh yeah, yeah. I know you're such a fan and she's God.You are you going to the show Theni think it passed, because I have bipolardisorder and I can't keep track of showdates. I think it was like Octobertwentieth or something- and I don't know, but anyway, sometimelater this month, th the next season of lady dynamite will come out, which is,is it's great? If you love comedys she's got lots of standup comedy Cameoappearances from other stand up comics and her approach to filmmaking inGeneralis, really unique so anyway, so netflix black marry andro yeah. If yousad lady dynamite at all, that's that's the thing it just because it tells itreally tells the story of her because she used to be the target. Lady, remember the Open Ak. Remember thetarget as the Manic Lady, the Manic Shopper on Tarket, that's her. Thatwould her they hired her for that because she was manic at the time andthen she crashed. So during the first season of lady dynamites, they flashback to certain periods of her life. One periods called the blue periodwhere she's in mental hospital an deluth and they coat every scene withthis light blue hue. So it's like, Oh that's, the blue par, but then theycome back to to regular time and she kind of tells the story back and forthlittle bit of how they kind of I don't wel. What I perceived of thestory is that the target took advantage...

...of her while she was manic and theclassic sent she kind of lost it and got depressed and hen they're like westill need you to work, come on. Do your thing der thing, be your manicperson and did open ow. She had to pull out, but that so long long short of itshe's apparently been a standup comic way before that, and that was just rigtone gig she got and now she it helped leverage into a Netflix show so prettycool but and she's also yeah. She also does the voice of a whole bunch ofcartoons that your kids probably watch yeah. You know right about her. I needto give lady Jenny my neter chance, because Henwe watch the first episodeAndyou know. Sometimes things don't catch you, but I just feel like I wouldget hooked if I just got into again. I do she's really responsive on twitter,like I noticed the like he liked stuff that you tweeted and one time she likedsomething that I tweeted and I did get very excited about- got okay, here's mystarting to have a theory, though, because I also got that same kind ofinteraction from theovaun. Another standup from Louisiana he's reallyfunny: Hes, Yo, guy and stuff sthen, then no, I'm cynical and I'm like Ohthes motherfuckers just have the same, really good social media managementteam or something like that. You know I don't know it's possible to check theirown stuff, but that's beebing scenical. I hopso Thaiefiitel WANTTO GE thatnother I yeah but you're. Right, though sometimes you turn on the show, andit's like. I don't get it what's this. What's all the Heb of about the ozarcsyeah, I mean I don't get that ther's, something called the ozarcs Ron Rightnow with Jason Bateman and I gave a Littla skip. Everything like I give itlike three episodes in like that. Should be plenty if I'm not into it bynow like this is just like a a knockoff of breaking bad, that's not not as good yeah. He failed. I know that's one thing likeI just do love, I have to admit I love just soling Inthe Watch too much go,but when I'm depressed like een watching the best shows like don't evenPu me, you know, I think you forget CA, pull uverse out there and you can justshow there's also that kind of thing like whenever you first see somethingwhatever space your head is at is kind of you'll, lock that in like I firstsaw star wars in whaterene thousand nine tundred and seventy six or seventyeight or whatever. When I was that specific age, so it had a lock in mybrain like Oh, my God, this is the best movie and we'll always be the bestmovie ever. So it's stuck in that Rut in my brain, so I first saw l ladydynamite. When I was super depressed- and I didn't think anything was funnynothing. That game shows that sad movies are happy, and then I saw thiswacky it just edited the right way and it spoke to mental illness and such anuplifting kind of upbeat way. I'm like Oh, that's, fu, everything's, going to beokay, I get it. So, let's get let's get back to yourbook. How did your book come into existence? So this is my manicsigwayowdoit's funny. Thank you. That was very smoot Kno. Why people say Iwant to write a bog, and I tonight is a fun thing to be able to say- and it'seven more fun to take Oh yeah, I'm writing a book but then write when ittakes you ten years to do. It is kindlike. You can send people aroundyour like when Yeah Right, you're not going to really get a gun or you'refull of it yeah ten years, and because I go in and outof depressions right, of course, mostly N, mostly in depression. So when Ifinally got stable in two thousand and thirteen I'm. Finally, you know findingthe wrigte medications that that worked for me, which took forever that's whenI really was able to start working on it and so yeah the book. I just it'sweird. It was incredibly stressful, I'm notgoing Na lie and I just had weird compulsion to do it. It kept me up a Loto night which weknow is not good. It kept you up or you were already up or you maybe you werejust lipe. I needed something to do. I mean I didn't write. I just wassitting there just stressing out about it and yeah about about the bookspecifically yeah. Well Yeah...

Anbut, I just I don't know I just waslike. I have to share this because, and I felt like I had. I did have oneadvantage, because I had something different to write about that. Neverhad been. No, I ever written about this topic before right. I researched it andI felt like that was my strength. If to be honest with you, if I didn't havethat particular Dianosis, I probably wouldn't have done it because I feellike there's already enough books out out there about. You know by polarmemors yeah there, all clos riht there arbilant writers out there, and Iclarly see myself as just kind of the middle of the pack. I'm not terrible,but I'm not. You know, whoever whoever's your favorite writer you knowat, and I know that so I was like well. You know I have this going for me getmy message out, because I did also want to let people know about this. Bisarrediagnosis, fom, one ED other people wo, had it to find my book and hopefullyget some kind of comfort. That's. That is key right, because people withbipolar are empathic and they like to Provide Comfort to others that find outor like our newcomers, to the to the ailment. Let's say because I see allike the big facebook groups, they get hundreds and thousands of new peopleeach day. So that means thousands of people each day are just finding outthat they have by polar disorder. So I think your compassion is well placed inwriting a book, especially for something as rare or no, let's not say,rare, pretty sure it's probably pretty widespread, but something is unheard ofuntil now called post partee by polar depression, or is it post Pawler, I'msorry postpartem by polar disorder, or does it really matter what it's calledissince? It has both the media and the depression. Whic is put parn by polarthat S. there's another technical terms. Do you want me to share it with thelisteners yeah, of course, and remind the first? This book is called birth,of a new brain search for it on Amazon, and you could also go to the facebookgroup called birth of a new brain just simply type it easy to find on Amazonan facebook birth of a new brain. Okay, sorry go ahead. I Love I love promoting stuff becausepeople are sitting there like staring at thes screen or listening to theireyepods or whatever I'm like go. Do something get on the screen and look upthis book like download. Go back, go buy it right now, yeah, but now Bytebi the Bak. What amIsyiotheinmfive, which is o Kno, has the ridiculous name of diagnostic asTistial mannual of mental disorders. Yeah, like the Bible of Tras Oit, hebibo crazy git's called by polar perparm on set,which is really difficult to say, but it means Paer apartment, just meedsthat it can happen during pregnancy. You can actually get what I'm what Ihave during your pregancy now or up to four weeks after child birth, which isnot accurate, because it can be later than four weeks surethat ise technical swe so there's actually some really awesomeTernadleptychriatris. Who are arguing that right now arguing Zida, SOM fivepeople tay. You need to change change that specifier, because it's notaccurate. So just because if's, the Bible I mean you know, doesn't meanit's the truth. Don't you like that or that it accurate right or ther, no dig on God oranything, but I mean they are humans that write the DSM so no again yetstreck down by Ligting. No, no, but just get back to the. What do theythink is a better time frame or is there a time frame? Is there a fairtime? Forim a mean is kind of like. Is there s? Is it fair to put a statuelimitations on rape, or something like that? Is it fair to put a statue Flimitations on this timeframe, where you can get postpartem by polar? I seriouly like one of those questionsI've been asked and the person who I admire the most is guy up in Canada.Turning off to Chaitothe, Tuctor Ominder Sharma believes it should be upto six months after a birst instea four weeks six months but, like you said Imean who you know healthough, I totally...

...believe in his resourch. It could beeven you know, I could be six months in the day. Right I mean who's to say Ithinking like you could be on your kids, sixteenth birthday when they drivetheir car or I mean CAS. You always have that really inate bond with yourchild, no matter where they are on the planet, no matter what they're doingand if there's there's some kind of change, O an abrupt change in yourrelationship to that that person, whether it came out of your womb orit's going to kindergarten now I', I agree it would be hard to put a timeframe, but that's only as a person that suffers from bipolar currently on theman side of things, but yeah, that's interesting. So I wonder what therational for six months is. You think, like it's Ao, because your chemicalsbalance out, which kind of lends itself, through the quote, unquote chemical,andbalance theory, which which drives me crazy, I'm starting to heardifferent things about that Chemical Andaen series Eid, this wild, beseiously a great podcast topic for you to talk to this guy I've been readinghis books got it it's a little bit of a do. Question were Tyeah Yeah. I knowthat's okay, I I get OCD on terms sometimes, and I like to just yeah know.I know I like to dig in like any OFI. Well, if tin, yeah, if e yeah, ifthey're going to label us, let's, let's clarify the labels and let's dig deepinto what each of these things mean, but so yeah. How, then, now that yougot the book out, because I'm curious, like the life of a author, it took youten years to write it. How did you pitch it to a publisher? How did it go from yourmind into tangible product? I dria couple proposals. I actually gotone proposal accepted with a different publisher than my current publisher andthat that entire proposal was based on how to live a life free of meditation,Whos, Bipolo, Disorderi and it'. Interesting enough, I wrote that when Iwas meonic you Kno yeahthe thing is yeah. I Guess Tat. The proposal gotaccepted and actually found someone who was Gonta endorse it, who would stam asand respectet Psyhytrat, Poo, sorry, a neurosurgeoncool and so t the publisher, an know she was able she had by corrnd. She wasable to be ned, free and stables. So she backed me up. I wrote the fortyfive page. We h proposal based on you know. I just studied books on how to dothat and its accepted, but then Yo guess what I Realli Ave: I'm not one ofthose people who can live Med free in these stables, so the first proposalwent down Tho toilet. Then, a few years later I just came up with holy concent,surprise urprise, where I wanted to talk about this this disorder and alsoabout what helps me get better, which included medication right. So I wreat another proposal I sent it toBerkeley Base Culester got rejected. You know how I feel about that and thenI had a friend she's, a successful author. Her name's Wendy K, Williamsonand she told me like don't give up se she's written. I don't know if Youefear these books, she wrote I'm not crazy. Just by polar and she wrote twobipollor mixed Gy to surviveal an Oyoher I've heard of two bipolitics. Ithink they have a podcast. It might be too new by polar chicks, but I'm really bad with names. I'm yeah I'va super visual person. If I see someone's name written, I recognize theshape of it more than the sound of it and I'd like recognize their faces more.But so I trust you. I believe you she said, don't Ibout, you know. Justmight you go ahead. Andio Puishe posteoff and I did- and I accepted itand N- that's what I neaded, because I hadt actually had finished my book yet,but I knew I needed a deadline to light spire. You know the fire underneath meSoiihadias orn extension, because I didn't get it done within the year thatI had hoped that get it done. So I lipped out about having to ask themthat, because I need to coulhave said...

...now, but luckily they said yeah, isn'tit horrid so because that's like when you're, when your experiencing and upor down in the bipolarcycle, sometimes yeah feels like Yo, don't even know howto approach people like I feel, and then you start like hating on yourself,because I'm not even sure how to approach should I even am I worthy-should just take it as comms. It's much easier if I stay in bed, so good foryou for like sticking up and asserting yourself. Well, it's easy to do. I didit the easy way. Ou know the cheating may through email. If I had to have owface to face interaction, it would have been very different right. Yeah, that'shardthat, even til, Yeaandyal N, that's hard. Today, a lot of kids are affand.If you call them they're like no, we don't do telephone text me orsnapchapme or something don't. What are you calling me for yeah? It's Societyis,weird EA. It kind of entrenches the thinking that I have already likereally want to go out, but in order to make really cool things happen, youhave to assert yourself. So I'm glad you got that so you you got an approval. How did that go so this is all digital.Like you're writing. Do you have any notes in a journal like a leatherjournal or is Jus all like in your board process? A on your computer? I just GID IT on word: There's like oFancy scribner and this and that, but I just didn't, have a word thing and Ididn't want o. You know tack up Jornals, but I found myself. I rarely went tothem for anything I just- and this is amazing, because I have to had a ton ofelectro convulsive therapy done and it was amazing. I was able to chap in somememories that I thought I wouldn't be able to ap into so once I startd doingit. I just was able to do it, but it was not fun. It was not fun. Yea goodmess that I think that no go ahead. I thinkthat just that's why a lot of books don't ever geting written it's or a lotof screen plays don't get finished. It's the same type of thing. It's likeit's agree. It is a great thing to talk about so to hear somebody make itthrough and get a book published on paper put into stores. You know putinto other people's hands, so they can read it forever, like once the thirdcoming of whatever comes and there's no more digital. Anything because theworld's wiped out all that tuf books will still be here. So you havesomething very tangible out in the world. I think that's superimpressiveso should give yourself a pat back. Yeah right is a lot of that content. Idon't. I can't believe that actually EOOUTL, how did I eally truly do thatit was. It was up there with child Bersis like the harest thing, I've everDonm Sobert without medication, Yeah Yeah and the child birth. You know onceonce you're committed to the the pregnancy childbrorth is inevitableright. There is a deadline. You don't really have any control over it, butright in a book. It takes a lot of that internal motivation, which is reallyhard to come by, sometimes especially with you when you're depressed, like alot of people that might listen to this podcast by have depression might beactively depressed right now wondering how the Hell do you get anything that Icould barely F figure out? How to play this PODCAST, I'm laying here in thedark in bed, because I in that's what I wantted yeah yeah, I mean it took me along time to do this me ten years as the long as time, and most of that time,I didn't do it. So I kind of just I hustled at the end. I you know it liklast fre years of it, and also would also ANA huge difference for me wasthat I couldn't really make parters until I was able to get my kids toschool like there war Sol a an. I would do it n the day. You know, there'speople out there, men anlen an right when their kids are home and screaming,but I just can't do that. I have to have it be quiet or also N, a pluscause, so yeah that made a big difference. Pus, when kids are aroundhonestly, I kind of like playing with the kids, like whatever they're doing,is way more fun than when I was trying to do if they're out back, hittingrocks with sticks, I'm like Ah Yeah, let's get bigger sticks and more rocksorr playing video games or something...

I'm like. Oh teach me how to play thison I'll. Kick Your Butts, so it was always hard when yeah to get anythingdone. I had design business. Actually when I was home but itwas cool to seeyour kids grow from zero. You know I was swinging thim in the little windupswing chair, while I'm on the computer, designing o logo or something o. Thisis fun. Had A bandte ye yeah, it's cool to be around kids in general, but it ishard to get anything done. That's for sure, so, ee Din that you just put I in theirboom ithe CE force. U FORC just pulls all the life out of hem the gravicationWIP, that's funny! So that's great! So then birth of a new brain. How did youcome up with the title? I mean it's a very appropriate title, obviously, buthow did think of it? Yeah Iknow I've been. I have beenAskacqueston a couple times, andits interesting, because there's there's somuch tomany studies now being done about the brain and Yep, it's kind oflike a trendy thing, but I just iseriously and, as is sound, supercheesy, but it just came to me it's probably like in the shower not onthe toilet, Yep Cam I and it just cuon don'tm. Sorry, I'm seriously only onshy right now I tying with thm I'm not no, no everything, Youe Sayng maketotal sense. I there's something about the bathroom itself proper with.Sometimes you got the satling vent fan as white noise. You know it's kind ofperceived as a very private place. So then you start. You just think yourmind wanders, especially in the shower, because I hear like music in therunning water are very distracted but and you going through your routine, youprobably wash your body the same way every time for the past ten years ortwenty year, whatever you know, so you kind of on autopilot. But then y? UYour Mind Starts Going: Oh yeah, we could do this a nd, oh then we could dothat. I'm always thinking of those ideas and that's that's the place sobirthan figur that yeah and I'm sure lots of people do I'm sure lots of people do like most ofthe things I tweet out in the morning are me in the bathroom reading myflipboard on my IPAD. I'm like Oh yeah, that's interesting and a lot of times.I'm like I don't care if anybody reads it, I'm like I need to save this andread it later, so I pr pretended my own braind, I'm goingto get back to my twitter feed and read the articles I've saved for myself, butI never do yeah, I'm like well. All the other people should read these too,because these are neat, but it's all done from the bathroom I mean literally,I'm like this is part. This is my off pace of creativity, e power place, Yihad an old title for my other book and it was called quest for rest because Iwas I was manick and I was just sticking Ben Osleep, but that's alsocrest is in a lot of book titles, including my believer, not my husband'sbook title. So we joke about that and it's like. So I don't know, I'm justreally happy. I, like my title. I, like my cover, I love the design. I hadamazing graphic designer. I found her on one of those websites because Iworked with my publisher separately on the Tipe on the cover and she inte at oMinard, and she is just gifted. So I was able to work with her and just getthe kind of cover. Actually, the concept of the cover was from my twodaughters came up with the idea and it's nealy simple, but sis your graphicdesigner. I thought you understand the importance of a book cover andStuffyeah for sure and a name. I love the whole idea of daming the fact thatthere are agencies dedicated to naming businesses and products. I love that Iwish I got paid to do that. Maybe I should look into that one, but anyways. I prefer to be closer to theactual product like in this case. I want to create the podcast and then Ialso get to design a I get to name it. So that's part of the fun in creatingand being close to the product. So like you're close to the product, you got toname it. You got to doesign it and the fact that it's it's provocative birth of a new braincauses that knowledge gap to people. Think Wai. I don't know about new brign.What's that a I missing out on something and then obviously alludes tobirth, so there's something about that once they find out it's about post,parter fuck, I can't say post part of a...

...do. Orryi see, mcuat, SOM, very visualand I'm reading it, but I just get stuck at the word post partum. I hateno,like I told you, I don't like any of these labels ojust. It's just postpartof, my polar just just tike of bipolar, but then you tak on postpartum before it. Okay, so I gen I get o people call me names and things likethis over the idditials of bipolar depression. I mean by polar disordyeah.So everywhere I read it's bd Bdone bdtwo there's one called pbd, which ispediatric bipolar disorder- Oh my God, yeah, there's too many of em and then so wthis one. Be this one be bipolar PRENATO. What was the other word? Youuse earlier? Oh Lik, polar perpartim onset, so it'sa specifier techniclyyspesifier of bypoer disorder. It's a different! It'sa form of bipolodist order, so this case yeah it isn't. Okay, you do not have tomemorize it I'll keep. You know what on twitter I'Llus every day ill this I don! I I really hatchet it. On the earlierepisode, I'm like post by Partom, depression post by polar depresson man,IIS, really bad. We started on't Worr, Tha Likilo words like that slip out.Sometimes now I might have to go edit that out man all right, so birth of a new birth, ofa new brain, not birth, of a new nation births of a new brain. Look at that onAmazon and facebook. So here's the thing I was wondering about you're easyto find on twitter because you spell your name differently. So, if you'relistening and inclined to be checking out, twitter follow Diane she's, agreat supporter of all things: Mental Health- that's how we came to know eachother. She was really supportive of by polar style. She is at Diane Har Wood,which is just like it sounds, except for it's dyane. So how did you get dy any?Did you make that up yourself, orcanonthe actress, that's Oll Da, a oyeah yeah, but she added to eat an Kennentotol tha, Dyan Ditesin. I don't know that yeah. So you ha like a hybrid ofDiane, Canon and old old style. Diane interesting, very cool. I'm like is shein a band? Were her parents hippies? How did that happen, but as kind of the branding thing coming upnowadays, hesghaving a name like that reallystands out. So if you're inclined to follow on twitter dy a Ne Dian, HarwoodHa r wood, Diane Harwood, and do you still write at your blog onword press othe Blak? Can I give you te yeah yeah?Do you still right there proudly by polar D ti, I doi write every Friday, I'm reallylike apodantic about it. It's like a superstition than fine things. I shouldtell you like I preyinen to change it. L K, I don't like it, but it's probablymy polar dotward Proscom. I need to change that. I guess you can Hav. If it gets popular,you could just get proudly by polarcom and point it there right. I know, but I kind of well, I kind ofwant to have it after the title of my book, but I just have been lazy. I canjust change it, but I'm sy, sometimes a there's so much to do when you'repromoting anything. It's so tedious, all the different social platforms. Youhave to be on all the details involved. If you wantto change one thing like: Oh I'm going to change the the tag line for this. OhJeez. No, I got TA got a five different social websites to change the tag lineor wint to update my you're good. At these things I can ElLiki mean look at you created a podcast.

You gave birth to the podcast, so muchwork all during the week. I'm like do. Iwant to do this, but so what I really like lately is is having guests. This is great, like Ihad Onika and Jason now you there's that B, Word Eras, unpacked sparkle, there's a whole bunchof people and then there's actually people that have signed up on thewebsite at by polar stylecom. That indicated they wantd to be Paul,podcast, Beah, SOMFOR, getting out o talk. My mind is unwinding as we spakanyway, they indicated they want to be podcast guests, which is great, so Ithink I'll just keep lining folks like yourselves up, because I don't mind Ikind of like being a ring leader of folks and I really like getting otherpeople's stories out there more particularly people that are creating,because I think people like yourself that wrote a book or Jason that made afilm are really inspiring to people that might be feeling really down rightnow, just knowing that hey, we have the same condition and it does get better.You know you can harness the good things too. That's right: that's right, but TIKwouldn, Wy, supprise thou. I couldn't. I don't want to probably shouldn't Sav, but I and allpeople who are now successful or whatever, because I really neverthought would happen for me. I really really didn't think that you know whatI mean so when I at the end of my book t or whatever it was Thursday night. Isaid Ia Cliche, but I use the CICHE that there is hope. If I can get better,you know there's you can get better because I'm pretty much like if youread my book, I'm a horror story like my whole life after I got DIGOS is Ikeis fon BA noeln street part ten and it did have like a semi, happy Endi, butbecause I am really proud of having this Bot published that you know. Noone can take that away from me, even with the pit down I've gotten recentlywhich which Youand I can always talk to another episode about no one. No, I can take that up for meright right, right, yeah and you've got a really good team. It sounds like yourkids and your husband form a really nice support circle around you, sothat's great good on Youall for keeping it together for sure Oh yeah people who stuing time as aBooksang like so many people ha already read the book and they looked at myhusband, we've been together like eighteen years or so, and they knew allthe preting thats we've been through. unther like they were like giving himprop Shi yeah. Give that Manio thingi didn't luckily didn't go out. LIKEAlotof marriagers almost break up or they do break up. Because of you knowthe hypersexuality thing and that's like pretty much. The only thing Ididn't do, but he had every reason to leave me and he didn't you know he haso threaten Tivorce at one point, because shes probably get me back on mymad. That would va. He didn't know what else to do. Yeah, AH- and I can't blamethem because yeah we it's kind of like that whole fhat whole sneeze thing yourealize when you're sneezing, you know you just sneeze, I can apologize but yeah and they're.Just seing saying a here: Take Your Allergy Medicine, stop sneezing right right and now I fig that an dit.I didn't want to be on this. I understand both sides, but it's likedamn. You know these things Po day I can get out o bed now like Ibein bedevery day for hours and it's like yeah, that's ridiculous. Okay, yeah, okay,like I, don't have to be mis, edfree Pu. No one on this planet walks around itslike a sang like everyone, has all kinds of crat an her bodies, even ifthey don't want to to admit it right, yeah. Well, we live in a toxicenvironment, that's destined to kill us if I don't da something so you might aswell feel better. You know there you go tell me, I coal talk to you all day. Sotell me if in like robbing you of your activities, oh no! No! No! I want tomake sure we got to the end of the bookstory we interjected with ourNetflix Plug, which will be sure untelling that fat about so they canplug our stuff as well or something but o Nyeah go head. Ou know what you Haveore theb YEP...

IEVERY Day for two years I interactedwith the founder of Netflix, actually tach the same cowel that he touchedbecause I worked at a gym. He was emember and he was totally cool andnice o never would know who he was. He never e know this guys like a futurebillionairic. He was just- and I think you know that shows that exercise isgood for you, because the guy, like was tully, rea tasting, don't know you guys,ah he you know that said something about the power of exercise, because hewas one of the regulars who totally showed up every day. First thing in themorning, so that's kind of like I just I just equate that with you know, gavehim the stability he needed to make netfix into super powerful for it, yeahfor sure yeah. If you build exercisein touch with Ho yeah well, how would youknow you never do know right, but yeah, it's interesting, because I alwaysthink of depression as kind of like a crust forming around me and if I don'tget up and exercise, it continues the form and pretty soon just like aand. Ican't move. I just stuck under this dark deep euse ugliness, but breakingfree when I sense depression starting to encrust me usually does a prettygood job of shaking everything off. So I appreciate it. I I neat, I mean I'vebeen I've been off the wagon, because I've been sick and there's been thefires and that's like those are both great excuses not to work out, but Iused to be a certified personal trainer and I now I know I really go into it in my book about acertain kind of exercise for people with bipolar, like that told that worksand helps keep you stable, nothing, complicated, but r. You think good,because you've been geting on your bike and doing ten miles yeah. Well, that'sthat's my thing. I'm a bicyclist than I'm a drummer. Those are like twohobbies I picked up when I was a young kid, like you know, second grade orwhatever and yeah that's a lot of my exercise now, because I' well, and alsobecause when you're bipolar, you don't have the best job steadiniss record and I tend not tohave a lot of money most of the time. So I commute by Bicecle, because WelI'll save for a car belong Ote, gem yeah, no, I like being outside, I likebeing active for sure, and I think it's very helpful, but I'm not like judginganybody that can't get up. Obviously neither neither of us are doing that,but so, if you cannot get up out of bed, we hear you sometimes like Ye, hear you yeah.Sometimes I get too far like I'll, be on my bike and I'm like man, I'm liketwelve miles from home and I'm like kind of Depresse IING. I just want tocrawl in bed right now, but no th, that's where it's like! Oh well, NOPE!You got yourself into this one. Now it's not going to kill you just pedalyour ass back home and then you can relax, but by the time you get homeyou're like I did it now, I'm a champion and Yeph ther's a whole thingabout just having the the grit to push through so creative people thatactually produce things into the world always impress me. So your book was agreat achievement. You had the grit to push through to took ten years andyeah. No, that's really awesome! So birth of a new brain everybody, allthose three people that are listening to the podcast on the bus right there. Those three people go:Listen to birth, of a new brain or download birth o. When you brain andreat that book, can you download it digitally or is it all all paper yeah? Now you can get it on Kendn and pleaseMES leave. You know if you feel so. INCIN re ieve a good with you. Even ifyou hate it, I don't care yeah, it's not hard to leave rereviews and Iappreciate reviews when people leave them on the podcast as well, because Iknow it takes extra amount of time so, but it does help because people wonderabout things especially new things and postpartum by polar depression is a newthing, so people should check into it and read up keep up with you on your.What do you? What do you hang out most twitter fritter? Yeah know it you can e Oyeahbut. How often do you blog...

...againjust once a week and actually,when I sink Juk Week, Ebite anybody once a week is a big deal. GEES! That'sa lot! Yeah! Oh well, good for you. So we should post your blog more offen too,on twitter, because I don't actually see it as often as I should, or maybe aI know, I kindits Jus me. I get confused on twitter when people startretweeting retweets of comments of original post and I'm like I like thesepeople, but I don't exactly know what I'm jumping into here, and I is this atrain. I want to be a part of I don't know, but I no ill don't know. I don't knowSolt that you know I'm still learning I need to mess with twitter lists. That'smy new thing to learn, apparently, list of the way to start sorting people andcommunicateit more effectively with the people that you'r really close to notjust your Rando followers, okay, Goy tink! That's what Ithey need to learn!Yeah me too, and it sounds like a nice solid thing to learn up over theweekend that I could probably make some cool list. I want to make a bipolarkaball of my own on twitter right right. Just a I tell you something aboutcaball becase. I looked it up after you used ic you inspire ned. To do that.Isn't it supposed to be rich? Are we supposed to be sepet yeah? That's theirony of it. Okay, the irony Evit, it's it's asecret cobal that they found out about, but they cannot be a part of becauseit's secret they're not supoio about it. It's a double twist yeah okayyou're, alittle yeah Youre sneakin. I live kind of in a this metaverse where I'm kindof like in on my own thing, I'm in on my own life and the simulation of it.So sometimes I try to REPROVD or od. You know yeah yeah seriously, so coolly. Well, I'm going to get out.I think I still have enough time to take a shower and get to San Franciscoto my Dbsa meeting, which is good because, okay, they might download andlike to listen and hear about this as well, and it's beautiful in the bayarea. I hope the moisture kind of tampered down the fires where you live.That's pretty norly yeah! Now it's much better Gan here!Thank goodness awesome! Well, you guys enjoy OAT I'll get this podcast puttogether and I'll probably put it up, like you know, Sunday, night or Mondaymorning and time for the crowds and and do my normal promo so we'll see whatkind of damage we can do and see how many people we can enlighten Al right all right are we still being?Is it still recorded or yeah? This is still recording we're still going. Okay,okay, right now it just Sotha Ani. I just liketaling to somebody I'm tryingto yeah, I'm trying to make Careofer seem like so other people, like Oh yeah,I'd like to tell my story I'll, tell my story with that dude on yeah. So coolmlet me. That was what I to lookforward with you as opposed to Poas, because I just tougt like wow. It'sJohn, I feel like I, coal really do myself with him and it's not as scaryas some of the other things that I've encountered at all so IINFEC everyoneto do it. Yeah go with the flow because yeah I'm not La Yeah. I won't dig toodeep, but I am a curious person, so I kind of digress into different things,but I guess my whole idea about this particular show is it's the show isn'tnecessarily about bipolar it's about life from a bipolar person'sperspective, like what we find interesting and the wacky things wethink about. Like the futurism stuff, we were mentioning. I got a a well written and very eager and engaging email from acustomer that, for my not customer, I'm getting used to work now from alistener. That said too much politics, so I will in the future. If I ever needto rant about politics, I will keep that in case in their own episode andclearly label it, because I get politics is part of my life, but Iunderstand lot of people get triggered by especially nowadays, so I won't gointo that any farther, but yeah keep it cool and I'd love to have you back forlots of things. So that's part of my cabal is at like almost a Castingi, acast of people that we can turn to for interesting content. You, like Howard, Stran, Hi LittleMiyeah, nmy own ratpack, whatever he...

...calls them hold on I'll. Think Bou topic list, whereyouknow the first one rojection thing so I'll make a few more notes and justsend them your way. So that would be awesome. We could also figure out howto do like multicallars. I would like to get like you and Jason or you in thebe word. I think I'm going to do that B word next. I don't she. Her name beginsto be, but I think she hides her name like. I do no now right anyway, so well.Her wel take Youre. Yoy have a good make sure you make it to just go allthe way to the meeting you can do. It can do it I'mchoking over here. That's funny. Iwill do my best to get all the way into DPSA circle. Today, te Caai'll, stop it Wat. Thanks forhaving me it's a total honor and you know the pleasures to mine thanks Dianehave a great weekend and tell your family. Thank you for your time. Ireally appreciate it sure Ando. Okay, take care like what you heard subscribe on ApplePodcast by it and join us at by colar stylecom thanks follisnin.

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