Live from Emo Dojo
Live from Emo Dojo

Episode · 3 years ago

Season 2 Recap: How to Become a Mental Health Advocacy Superstar ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


John recounts the highs and lows of starting a new mental health podcast one year into the ordeal ... tries to mention the new cat three times. Reminds everyone there is no right/wrong way and everything will be different in 200 years anyway. Meanwhile - Season 3 is all about YOU! Join us at to get ready!

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It's only now it's online Bible thisstylecom motions with Bible style. You GODDAMN motherfuckers. You fucking Walt in here. You think you know everything, don't you? Well, I fucking workmy fucking ass off and you sure as fuck I'm not gonna fucking blow woodfor me now. I'm now on. All your little bits are going tobe under two minutes in duration and all scripts, and I do mean allscripts, require my personal approval. You see the kind of conditions I haveto work in around here. I'm over it, man, I'm over it. Hey, welcome back to Bipolarh Stil. I'm johnny motions, high top thetenderloin in San Francisco, USA. So yeah, man, it's beena pretty wild month. I've done another podcast, so I've talked quite abit about my experiences over there and I kind of felt like I had donethis podcast already. So I hope I don't repeat too many of those typeof things. Or if you heard that podcast, then you know you'll knowwhat I'm talking about. So wow, all right, this podcast. Youknow I've been it's like episode twenty five. I didn't mean to do so manyepisodes into season two here. Basically you do like, I don't know, like twelvesh episodes per season, and two seasons roughly equals a year.It's kind of modeled after TV because I was drained in TV and just it'swhat it's, what's ingrained in my brain. Also, in music you release albumsin sets of ten songs and sometimes a bonus song or two for somebodythey need little extra money. So anyway. But dozen't or so seems about rightwhen you mix the two metaphors of music industry and TV industry. Butwith this show here, let me back up a step. You'll get alot of show here and twenty minutes because hey, you know I'm sometimes hypomanic. Anyway. So back up. The reason I started this show originallywas because I wanted like a podcast that sounded like what's called a DBSA meeting. DBSA stands for depression and bipolar support alliance, and they have meetings allaround America. So in these meetings people go around the circle, they checkin, they say their name, they tell how their week was real quickly, like a scale of one hundred and ten. I had a shitty week, had a great week, and then they indicate whether or not they wantto share something specific more in depth later, so they can kind of work yourway around circle. And then the moderate will come up and said,all right, we've got eight people that want to share. Let's start withyou know, we'll go clockwise and Bob on the left, you go first, and then Bob will say, okay, well, thanks. Yeah, Bobhere and well, you know, having a really hard time at work. My supervisors really big and getting on me and whatever. Okay, soyou get it. So I derive a lot of value from those meetings inperson and I noticed there were a lot of people that would drive for hoursliterally to the meetings in San Francisco, which are fairly established. Well,they're very established. They've been here twenty years, I think, and there'speople coming from like like Taho all the way down to San Francisco. SoI was thinking, man, there's got to be a way to do thisusing technology, to put it on the Internet somehow, what the Hell?So slowly put up like a yammer group...

...was like I wanted to get offof facebook and twitter in that I just I just want to like a privatekind of online forum that didn't really have the constrictive rules of a true nationalorganization run by professionals that were paid and things like that. I'm just notthat kind of person. I'm kind of like an anarchist. I just notinto rules and other people's groups and whatever. I wanted to start my own groupand mostly for the folks here in San Francisco, so that was cool. started mood swinger and everyone kind of did there and it was gold.Did you know? It worked for exactly what I thought it intended it todo. Right. So, HMM Oh, except they didn't work for me.I moved away from San Francisco and then I realized, wait, okay, that well, part of it was that the technology, like Yammer,was not the best thing for that, especially after Microsoft bought it kind ofwrecked it a little bit. Anyway, I don't want to go on arant there. So anyway, just the technology was not quiet what I waslooking for. I tried Google, hang out to tried just different stuff.Anyway, the next thing I was like, well, I still what I reallymissed kind of was hearing other people's stories. So I didn't it wasn'tthe typing. I didn't need another exercise for my fingers. It wasn't staringat another piece of plastic with lights behind it. I'm like, I don'tneed to stay and it's not that. What I liked was hearing other people'sstories, getting the emotion in their voice, that sort of thing. And so, obviously, you know, it's twenty seventeen or eighteen, twenty seventeenback then, and I'm like, well, Shit, a podcast, how aboutthat? But we do a podcast and my idea was like just putin my in the middle of this DBSA meeting. Of course you can't justgo do that, because that's that's their group, that's their meeting, that'sthat how they do their thing. No, no, I fuck. How doI do this? Like, okay, let's go back to that old onlinegroup thing and find people that want to do it. So I goonline and now the technology is slack. Do you guys use slack? WhenI was in Los Angeles at a Tech Company, everybody was using slack.So now we use slack. Excuse me. Yes, slack is just it wassuper easy. You could put it in your pocket, you put iton your phone and once you get an invite link, you can just goforward your domain name to the invite link. Hold on one second, join theparty. Add bipolar PARTYCOM. Don't forget to join the party at bipolarPARTYCOM and that. Oh that's pretty good timing actually, because that is thedomain name I bought and pointed it to my slack name, to my slackinvite link. I mean so if you go to bipolar PARTYCOM, it simplygoes to the IT public invite link for slack and the people are there.We trust each other, we share, we chat, we talked, wewe might have disagreements down then, but generally I think most of the peoplethat go there have heard about the link for im either this show or Becky'sshow, that B word, which talks about bipolar and borderline personality disorder.So I think because of the nature of our shows, most of the peoplethat come there are already fairly politically correct and kind. So we've haven't hadto kick anybody out for being rude or being creepers or anything like that.So that's that's pretty cool. But the problem is I still didn't have apodcast. I'm like, well, I still didn't have my ideal of havingthe circle of people sharing their stories in audio format for the world to hear, because I think that's one of the best ways to break down stigma,is to let people share their stories in...

...their own voices without any real rules. That way the listening public will start to understand, oh, these arejust fucking regular people that happen to be going through troubling emotions right now.Let's help them instead of shun them with labels. You feel me? Don'tlet me forget to tell you about the cat. Okay, anyway, evenwith the online group now, bipolar party, you can't just put a microphone infront of people and say hey, now, tell me your story.It took a while, so we had to build trust with each other andjust learn how we were and just kind of check where each other's head waswith regards to, you know, what they wanted to do with life orwith their mental health activism or advocacy or whatever. I mean. Some peoplejust want to listen and chat and have no, they don't want to fuckingbe on a podcast. That's some people are like, that's stupid. Whywould I want to do that? But there are several people now at bipolarPartycom that are into this idea of podcasting as a group, which I thinkis fantastic because I'm that much closer now to having the bipolar style show bea group of four, five, six people with a moderator sharing maybe eachweek their stories there, their successes, their troubles, but really just gettingit off of their shoulders and letting the listening public know. You know,the kinds of things we go through and to the extent that the external worldaffects our feelings. I guess that's a good way to put it. Thecat anyway, I should tell you about the cat real quick before I moveon. So if you've listened to the other podcasts, Oh, here's onething about starting to podcast. If you want to get into the mental healthadvocacy game, the podcasting things sounds easy, but man it's hard. If you'relike a a perfectionist or a betterist, I'm like, I call myself abetterist. I don't think there's such thing really has perfection, but man, you could always make things a little bit fucking better right like, especiallywith podcasts, the main thing is the sound of the audio. If theaudio sucks, then your podcasts sucks. So sorry about that tangent, butI'm like, well, so I can just go deep in like the thetoys. Basically spend too much money on toys, the microphone, the fuckingpreamp, the chords, the whole thing, the software, you can go offand get lost in that. But when it comes to the mental healthpart, it's hard to actually pick up a brand like because I had tostart to realize like doing a podcast feels like putting on your clothes. Soeach time I was doing a podcast, I'm going, I'm wearing the samefucking clothes again, and I wanted to change my clothes. I wanted todo a podcast about this and then about that and about this. So youhave to be careful with with the hosts that you choose, because the firsthost I was with, there's nothing wrong with them, it's just that holdon one second, because I see all this background stuff about to come up. I'm going to move it over, trying to record everything live fed overthere. Well, I've been talking twelve minutes. Shit, man, webetter get on it, because you got work to do and I got okay, anyway, change podcast host because the other one wanted to charge for eachadditional RSS feed, which is basically each show you they wanted to charge fora whole new account and I'm like no, dude, I'm just not. I'mhardly using any storage any bandwidth.

I just want to try different logosand brands and names and ideas for shows and help other people start. There'seven if we only do one or two episodes. I just wanted to havethat freedom to change up a bit. So if that's your thinking, becareful which host you choose, because that's the thing. You know some arebetter for other things. There's like four or five great podcast hosts and justdo your research, as lots of places you can find out about them anyway. So that was one of the issues. I had to end up changing RSSFeeds for this particular show, sirens. So we got that straightened out andI think I probably mentioned it several times when I was doing the logo. When you do the artwork for a podcast, it should be readable atsuper, super tiny size, like thumbnail size on a telephone, because sometimesit's you know, people are scrolling through either your twitter account or the artworkon Itunes, fucking podcast or whatever. So if your artwork has lots ofdetail and says words and Shit in it and you're not going to read it. It's going to be a big BLOB at a super tiny size. Also, Oh, here's the thing. Right before I put out a logo,I read article that said depressed people like logos with faces in them. Like, I'm like what you like Colonel Sanders and things like that. I'm like, God, whatever, okay, so I whipped out a logo that wasa face just for that and that turned out cool. But you know,even though it's a cool logo and I've got a stored that sells shirts andI don't have to fulfill that on my own. It's kind of all automated. Yeah, I don't make any money selling shirts them, not even enoughto cover hosting for a month. So if you're getting into podcasting thinking you'dgoing to make a bunch of money with merchandise or tshirt sales or anything likethat, man, that's a bad idea. Don't do that. Just have justbut make sure your art school, you know what I mean. Makesure it stands out and it's easy to understand and and it means something toyou if you happen to be a designer, and then, fuck yeah, doit yourself, because then it means it's that much more right and definitelybuild an an audience somewhere off of the social media, like email lists.I have my own website. I've always had a website of some sort atwhatever, whatevercom. You can go to buipolar stylecom. I think that currentlypoints directly to the itunes feed, the new feed, hopefully the one you'renow subscribe to, but that's only temporary. Eventually I'll point that back to itsfull website, like if you go to Johnnymotionscom, that's kind of atypical website. If you're going to put together something in the podcasting blog realm, you want to be able to capture people's email addresses, not to spamthem. Like how many times have I emailed you? Like some of you, lots of you, actually have signed up to my email list and youknow that I've never spammed you. I've never even sent you an email.I should probably do that. I should probably email all the old subscribers onthe old feed and the people at the original bipolar party that I kind ofleft behind. Sorry about that, folks, kind of like an Irish goodbye.pull the SHAMROCK. I started a party and kind of backed out thedoor said bye anyway, but I do have those email addresses, so Ican email them and now invite them to the new bipolar party, to websiteas I change and and all that good stuff. So, anyway, highlyrecommend having your own website couch just for that, just for collecting email addresses, so that you can keep your fans, regardless what the social media of theweek is. Now you know what I mean. Oh here, here'sthe this thing drove me crazy at first.

I thought, yeah, I wantto hear everyone's voice, because remember what, I liked the group ideaand that was hard to build a group. So I thought, well, letme interview one at a time. Okay, that's difficult because the peopleyou're trying to interview are I don't know what fucking world they're from. Honestly, there's a handful that are professional. They know how to use CAD calidly, you know, like a link on the Internet that points you to anInternet calendar that comes to my email. But you know they're with the programthey fucking get it and they show up here. They are here, theyare on skype right on time and I could interview them and they come preparedwith answers to questions and a lot of times I ask questions that are noton script at all, which is fun. It makes for a great interview,but there are a lot of people that don't show up. They flakethe excuses or whatever. That's difficult to deal with, especially because I'm thesick one. I'm fucking I'm sick to right so I don't have time tochase people around doing one on one interviews, especially if I'm going to like interviewyour for for your fucking thing. If it's your thing already, it'san obligation to me to showcase you and focus on your thing as well asI can. But then if you're not even to show up for your ownthing, forget it right. That's dumb. That reminds me of when I wasin the music business and somebody would give me there like demo, asif it were a gift, and I'm like, Dude, motherfucker, that'san obligation. That is not a gift. Giving me your shit to play orto listen to or to do whatever is always been an obligation. Peoplethat are creative, when you're in a band and whatnot, you think it'sa gift. Because your ego says, oh my shit, so great here, but now, if you're trying to put together a show, you heara lot of stuff and a lot of people stuff is not that great,worse, but yeah, wouldn't even been a problem if people just show upanyway. Just became an issue of like will fuck it, I'm going todo my own show. I'm just going to talk. Why not? Ican talk a long time. Just keep on fucking talking. But again thatled to the problem I ran into most recently. In the past several months, I started to realize that the more I focused on the fucking bipolar thing, the more bipolar I felt, which seems pretty obvious if you think aboutit. If you keep running around saying you're bad at math, then obviouslythe world around you is going to support that. You suck at and math. Same type of thing. I looked into labeling theory. have been intothat for a while. What you become what you get labeled, and sincebipolar disorder is so vague, it's very squishy. You know, you can'tquite get at it, I'm a lot more hesitant to just embrace that labelbecause it's not going to be the same label twenty years from now, it'snot going to be the same label two hundred years from now. You knowwhat I mean. So I've become a lot less happy to say, yeah, I'm bipolar, like, who cares? WHO gives a fuck? Honestly,I don't care what you are. I care what you do and howyou feel like. How do you feel on your day to day existence andwhat do you do? Like? Let's talk about those things. I don'tFuck Your label. I don't really care that you're bipolar. Here's why Idon't care, because I have like eight of these things and they keep losingtrack of how many Goddamn disorders I've been labeled with. So, I mean, some people think that that might be controversial or provocative, and frankly it'sto me. It's so not controversial or provocative. I could give a fuckabout that argument at all. Like everything...

...we've thought turns out to be wrong. It always does. Science evolves, religion evolves, everything changed. Sofor anybody to stop right now in two thousand and eighteen and say, nope, this is what it is and this is all it's going to be inthe so fucking arrogance. No, it's not things will change. Don't getall wrapped up in your label. We are not our labels, so becareful of the ones you embrace there. They're great for categorizing things and formoving conversations forward, but they're also used to protect your ego go they're alsoused to thwart progress and they're also used to just diminish secondary people. Whatthe Fuck is secondary people? Hmm, Oh, the cat. Yeah,so it's hard to find a real cat, apparently. I look on craigslist andthere's lots of people putting fake ads, trying to collect your information and thenultimately telling you, okay, by the way, I live threezero milesaway and I'm going to send you the cat in a box on an airplaneafter you paypal me four hundred dollars, like what? Now? That's acommon scheme on craigslist, apparently. Anyway, I was work in the front deskat a hotel. I run give my employees the time off to godo the fourth of July party, and some dude came up and said,Hey, I heard y'all was looking for a kitten and I'm like, whatdo you mean, like personally? He's all, yeah, yeah, Iheard she was looking for a cat and like Oh what, because I didn'twant a cop to it because I picky about what it looks like, andI was a phrase, it's going to show me some ugly ass cat thatI didn't really want. So I'm all yeah, let me see. Sohe had a picture on his phone. He showed me and the cat washello, cute. So, long story short, ended up get the cat. I've got a cute cat. He siding out in that room over therebecause he's a maniac after dark and I can't podcast with him in here.But he's awesome them and take lots of pictures of them put them on instagram. His name's Zeke and at nighttime he becomes Ming, the merciless. Yeah, okay. So here's what we're going to do. I need you toprepare yourself, because I'm not. If you want to like listen to meramble, go subscribe to Johnny Emotions. Got It. Like these kind ofshows, the bipolar style show that's in this RSS feed. Starting in seasonthree, probably two or three more episodes will be that ultimate idea I hadof like a group of people sharing their stories each week. Cool. Nowwhat we need is more people to share their stories, because right now wegot a solid core of people that could support the show moving forward. Butif we keep doing that with the same people, it's going to sound likea cast. You know, I don't want to sound like a the samecast on the show every time, like Chopo traphouse or something. I wantedto actually rotate with new people each time. So please go to bipolar PARTYCOM andjoin us. Learn to trust us. will learn to trust you. Andget your gear together. Typically, if you have a wired headset thatgoes into your computer and Ethernet cable into the back of your computer, that'splenty. Some people try Wi fi and Bluetooth, but then it sucks becausethe audio sucks. And how would you like the audio in your ears rightnow to suck? You wouldn't? You want it to sound great. Soplease do that. If you want to join us on the upcoming episodes ofbipolar style, get a headset, Mike with a cable to your computer anda chord for your Internet. Got It.

That's funny. I'm like, here'show you do it. You have to do it this way. Well, I'm just fucking I'm tired of hearing Shitty Quality Audio, I won't listento podcasts in general because I'm tired of routing through the ones that have crappyaudio. I go to podcast meet up groups here in San Francisco and Oaklandand we talked about that a lot. A lot of the new people comingon that are starting to make their own shows one of their biggest complaints ispoor audio. So there is a right way to do good audio. However, if you're getting into the mental health advocacy thing, there are actually noright ways or wrong ways to advocate. There's only your way. So don'tlet people try to hijack your language. Clearly it's best if you're sharing facts, but a lot of times sharing facts in different lights provokes people and that'sokay. But you got to keep the conversation open. Don't be scared toengage. People have different styles, people have different personalities, but generally speaking, you know, go out there and be yourself. Just be open.Don't try to shut people down. You don't get to control the language.Nobody controls the language. The moment somebody thinks that they're in charge of thelanguage is the moment we've stopped progress. And then the thing about stigma andmental health. That's trippy. When I talk with mark the other week.So apparently the best way to get around stigma or destroy stigma. Excuse me, or who, however you wanted to talk about disintegrating stigma, is todo better. So we have to highlight our successes. Nobody cares about whenwe're depressed. Come on, remember the old cliche. Smile and the wholeworld smiles with you cry and you cry alone. That's so true. Imean, if you just need the Internet because you want likes and that clickson your Sarah telling and your dopamine in your brain and that actually makes youfeel better, there's some science to that, sure, but I mean really thatyou've just on the Internet to get clicks and likes. Permission to dothat. Back, I never prove much crap. God Damn it, you'refire. Pack up the Shit. I'm not kiddyway yet the fuck up.Fly like plate. It gets me at the BOTTS for name. If youcome around, Hey, we working all day. Your Life gonna Passy inthe second. If you wait, I fly like people get highlight plane.If you get me at the border, I don't want to my name.If you come around. Hey, we working all day. Your Life GoneBessy in the second if you wait. Just like just a change. WhenI'm sitting on trains. Ever since we're getting see with clocking that game.Got For dinner. The world does inflame bona fire hustles making that change.Just like just a change when I'm sitting on trains. EVERST that we're gettingto we' clock in that game. Don't for dinner. The world's in flamefor a fire hustle loves making that change. That all I want to do.And up and taking money. All I wanna do it, and andtaking whatever. All they wanna do it, and and taking money. All theywanna do it. And and taking six is down and bullets in brownsrunning when we hit a lit took poison for the system. Subscribe to bileis all on eye cheese, a squatify. Following on on twitter joyless excuses meas bi.

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