John | Podcasting
John | Podcasting

Episode · 4 years ago

Season 2 Recap: How to Become a Mental Health Advocacy Superstar ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


John recounts the highs and lows of starting a new mental health podcast one year into the ordeal ... tries to mention the new cat three times. Reminds everyone there is no right/wrong way and everything will be different in 200 years anyway. Meanwhile - Season 3 is all about YOU! Join us at to get ready!

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It's only now it's online Bible this stylecom motions with Bible style. You GODDAMN motherfuckers. You fucking Walt in here. You think you know everything, don't you? Well, I fucking work my fucking ass off and you sure as fuck I'm not gonna fucking blow wood for me now. I'm now on. All your little bits are going to be under two minutes in duration and all scripts, and I do mean all scripts, require my personal approval. You see the kind of conditions I have to work in around here. I'm over it, man, I'm over it. Hey, welcome back to Bipolarh Stil. I'm johnny motions, high top the tenderloin in San Francisco, USA. So yeah, man, it's been a pretty wild month. I've done another podcast, so I've talked quite a bit about my experiences over there and I kind of felt like I had done this podcast already. So I hope I don't repeat too many of those type of things. Or if you heard that podcast, then you know you'll know what I'm talking about. So wow, all right, this podcast. You know I've been it's like episode twenty five. I didn't mean to do so many episodes into season two here. Basically you do like, I don't know, like twelvesh episodes per season, and two seasons roughly equals a year. It's kind of modeled after TV because I was drained in TV and just it's what it's, what's ingrained in my brain. Also, in music you release albums in sets of ten songs and sometimes a bonus song or two for somebody they need little extra money. So anyway. But dozen't or so seems about right when you mix the two metaphors of music industry and TV industry. But with this show here, let me back up a step. You'll get a lot of show here and twenty minutes because hey, you know I'm sometimes hypo manic. Anyway. So back up. The reason I started this show originally was because I wanted like a podcast that sounded like what's called a DBSA meeting. DBSA stands for depression and bipolar support alliance, and they have meetings all around America. So in these meetings people go around the circle, they check in, they say their name, they tell how their week was real quickly, like a scale of one hundred and ten. I had a shitty week, had a great week, and then they indicate whether or not they want to share something specific more in depth later, so they can kind of work your way around circle. And then the moderate will come up and said, all right, we've got eight people that want to share. Let's start with you know, we'll go clockwise and Bob on the left, you go first, and then Bob will say, okay, well, thanks. Yeah, Bob here and well, you know, having a really hard time at work. My supervisors really big and getting on me and whatever. Okay, so you get it. So I derive a lot of value from those meetings in person and I noticed there were a lot of people that would drive for hours literally to the meetings in San Francisco, which are fairly established. Well, they're very established. They've been here twenty years, I think, and there's people coming from like like Taho all the way down to San Francisco. So I was thinking, man, there's got to be a way to do this using technology, to put it on the Internet somehow, what the Hell? So slowly put up like a yammer group...

...was like I wanted to get off of facebook and twitter in that I just I just want to like a private kind of online forum that didn't really have the constrictive rules of a true national organization run by professionals that were paid and things like that. I'm just not that kind of person. I'm kind of like an anarchist. I just not into rules and other people's groups and whatever. I wanted to start my own group and mostly for the folks here in San Francisco, so that was cool. started mood swinger and everyone kind of did there and it was gold. Did you know? It worked for exactly what I thought it intended it to do. Right. So, HMM Oh, except they didn't work for me. I moved away from San Francisco and then I realized, wait, okay, that well, part of it was that the technology, like Yammer, was not the best thing for that, especially after Microsoft bought it kind of wrecked it a little bit. Anyway, I don't want to go on a rant there. So anyway, just the technology was not quiet what I was looking for. I tried Google, hang out to tried just different stuff. Anyway, the next thing I was like, well, I still what I really missed kind of was hearing other people's stories. So I didn't it wasn't the typing. I didn't need another exercise for my fingers. It wasn't staring at another piece of plastic with lights behind it. I'm like, I don't need to stay and it's not that. What I liked was hearing other people's stories, getting the emotion in their voice, that sort of thing. And so, obviously, you know, it's twenty seventeen or eighteen, twenty seventeen back then, and I'm like, well, Shit, a podcast, how about that? But we do a podcast and my idea was like just put in my in the middle of this DBSA meeting. Of course you can't just go do that, because that's that's their group, that's their meeting, that's that how they do their thing. No, no, I fuck. How do I do this? Like, okay, let's go back to that old online group thing and find people that want to do it. So I go online and now the technology is slack. Do you guys use slack? When I was in Los Angeles at a Tech Company, everybody was using slack. So now we use slack. Excuse me. Yes, slack is just it was super easy. You could put it in your pocket, you put it on your phone and once you get an invite link, you can just go forward your domain name to the invite link. Hold on one second, join the party. Add bipolar PARTYCOM. Don't forget to join the party at bipolar PARTYCOM and that. Oh that's pretty good timing actually, because that is the domain name I bought and pointed it to my slack name, to my slack invite link. I mean so if you go to bipolar PARTYCOM, it simply goes to the IT public invite link for slack and the people are there. We trust each other, we share, we chat, we talked, we we might have disagreements down then, but generally I think most of the people that go there have heard about the link for im either this show or Becky's show, that B word, which talks about bipolar and borderline personality disorder. So I think because of the nature of our shows, most of the people that come there are already fairly politically correct and kind. So we've haven't had to kick anybody out for being rude or being creepers or anything like that. So that's that's pretty cool. But the problem is I still didn't have a podcast. I'm like, well, I still didn't have my ideal of having the circle of people sharing their stories in audio format for the world to hear, because I think that's one of the best ways to break down stigma, is to let people share their stories in...

...their own voices without any real rules. That way the listening public will start to understand, oh, these are just fucking regular people that happen to be going through troubling emotions right now. Let's help them instead of shun them with labels. You feel me? Don't let me forget to tell you about the cat. Okay, anyway, even with the online group now, bipolar party, you can't just put a microphone in front of people and say hey, now, tell me your story. It took a while, so we had to build trust with each other and just learn how we were and just kind of check where each other's head was with regards to, you know, what they wanted to do with life or with their mental health activism or advocacy or whatever. I mean. Some people just want to listen and chat and have no, they don't want to fucking be on a podcast. That's some people are like, that's stupid. Why would I want to do that? But there are several people now at bipolar Partycom that are into this idea of podcasting as a group, which I think is fantastic because I'm that much closer now to having the bipolar style show be a group of four, five, six people with a moderator sharing maybe each week their stories there, their successes, their troubles, but really just getting it off of their shoulders and letting the listening public know. You know, the kinds of things we go through and to the extent that the external world affects our feelings. I guess that's a good way to put it. The cat anyway, I should tell you about the cat real quick before I move on. So if you've listened to the other podcasts, Oh, here's one thing about starting to podcast. If you want to get into the mental health advocacy game, the podcasting things sounds easy, but man it's hard. If you're like a a perfectionist or a betterist, I'm like, I call myself a betterist. I don't think there's such thing really has perfection, but man, you could always make things a little bit fucking better right like, especially with podcasts, the main thing is the sound of the audio. If the audio sucks, then your podcasts sucks. So sorry about that tangent, but I'm like, well, so I can just go deep in like the the toys. Basically spend too much money on toys, the microphone, the fucking preamp, the chords, the whole thing, the software, you can go off and get lost in that. But when it comes to the mental health part, it's hard to actually pick up a brand like because I had to start to realize like doing a podcast feels like putting on your clothes. So each time I was doing a podcast, I'm going, I'm wearing the same fucking clothes again, and I wanted to change my clothes. I wanted to do a podcast about this and then about that and about this. So you have to be careful with with the hosts that you choose, because the first host I was with, there's nothing wrong with them, it's just that hold on one second, because I see all this background stuff about to come up. I'm going to move it over, trying to record everything live fed over there. Well, I've been talking twelve minutes. Shit, man, we better get on it, because you got work to do and I got okay, anyway, change podcast host because the other one wanted to charge for each additional RSS feed, which is basically each show you they wanted to charge for a whole new account and I'm like no, dude, I'm just not. I'm hardly using any storage any bandwidth.

I just want to try different logos and brands and names and ideas for shows and help other people start. There's even if we only do one or two episodes. I just wanted to have that freedom to change up a bit. So if that's your thinking, be careful which host you choose, because that's the thing. You know some are better for other things. There's like four or five great podcast hosts and just do your research, as lots of places you can find out about them anyway. So that was one of the issues. I had to end up changing RSS Feeds for this particular show, sirens. So we got that straightened out and I think I probably mentioned it several times when I was doing the logo. When you do the artwork for a podcast, it should be readable at super, super tiny size, like thumbnail size on a telephone, because sometimes it's you know, people are scrolling through either your twitter account or the artwork on Itunes, fucking podcast or whatever. So if your artwork has lots of detail and says words and Shit in it and you're not going to read it. It's going to be a big BLOB at a super tiny size. Also, Oh, here's the thing. Right before I put out a logo, I read article that said depressed people like logos with faces in them. Like, I'm like what you like Colonel Sanders and things like that. I'm like, God, whatever, okay, so I whipped out a logo that was a face just for that and that turned out cool. But you know, even though it's a cool logo and I've got a stored that sells shirts and I don't have to fulfill that on my own. It's kind of all automated. Yeah, I don't make any money selling shirts them, not even enough to cover hosting for a month. So if you're getting into podcasting thinking you'd going to make a bunch of money with merchandise or tshirt sales or anything like that, man, that's a bad idea. Don't do that. Just have just but make sure your art school, you know what I mean. Make sure it stands out and it's easy to understand and and it means something to you if you happen to be a designer, and then, fuck yeah, do it yourself, because then it means it's that much more right and definitely build an an audience somewhere off of the social media, like email lists. I have my own website. I've always had a website of some sort at whatever, whatevercom. You can go to buipolar stylecom. I think that currently points directly to the itunes feed, the new feed, hopefully the one you're now subscribe to, but that's only temporary. Eventually I'll point that back to its full website, like if you go to Johnnymotionscom, that's kind of a typical website. If you're going to put together something in the podcasting blog realm, you want to be able to capture people's email addresses, not to spam them. Like how many times have I emailed you? Like some of you, lots of you, actually have signed up to my email list and you know that I've never spammed you. I've never even sent you an email. I should probably do that. I should probably email all the old subscribers on the old feed and the people at the original bipolar party that I kind of left behind. Sorry about that, folks, kind of like an Irish goodbye. pull the SHAMROCK. I started a party and kind of backed out the door said bye anyway, but I do have those email addresses, so I can email them and now invite them to the new bipolar party, to website as I change and and all that good stuff. So, anyway, highly recommend having your own website couch just for that, just for collecting email addresses, so that you can keep your fans, regardless what the social media of the week is. Now you know what I mean. Oh here, here's the this thing drove me crazy at first.

I thought, yeah, I want to hear everyone's voice, because remember what, I liked the group idea and that was hard to build a group. So I thought, well, let me interview one at a time. Okay, that's difficult because the people you're trying to interview are I don't know what fucking world they're from. Honestly, there's a handful that are professional. They know how to use CAD calidly, you know, like a link on the Internet that points you to an Internet calendar that comes to my email. But you know they're with the program they fucking get it and they show up here. They are here, they are on skype right on time and I could interview them and they come prepared with answers to questions and a lot of times I ask questions that are not on script at all, which is fun. It makes for a great interview, but there are a lot of people that don't show up. They flake the excuses or whatever. That's difficult to deal with, especially because I'm the sick one. I'm fucking I'm sick to right so I don't have time to chase people around doing one on one interviews, especially if I'm going to like interview your for for your fucking thing. If it's your thing already, it's an obligation to me to showcase you and focus on your thing as well as I can. But then if you're not even to show up for your own thing, forget it right. That's dumb. That reminds me of when I was in the music business and somebody would give me there like demo, as if it were a gift, and I'm like, Dude, motherfucker, that's an obligation. That is not a gift. Giving me your shit to play or to listen to or to do whatever is always been an obligation. People that are creative, when you're in a band and whatnot, you think it's a gift. Because your ego says, oh my shit, so great here, but now, if you're trying to put together a show, you hear a lot of stuff and a lot of people stuff is not that great, worse, but yeah, wouldn't even been a problem if people just show up anyway. Just became an issue of like will fuck it, I'm going to do my own show. I'm just going to talk. Why not? I can talk a long time. Just keep on fucking talking. But again that led to the problem I ran into most recently. In the past several months, I started to realize that the more I focused on the fucking bipolar thing, the more bipolar I felt, which seems pretty obvious if you think about it. If you keep running around saying you're bad at math, then obviously the world around you is going to support that. You suck at and math. Same type of thing. I looked into labeling theory. have been into that for a while. What you become what you get labeled, and since bipolar disorder is so vague, it's very squishy. You know, you can't quite get at it, I'm a lot more hesitant to just embrace that label because it's not going to be the same label twenty years from now, it's not going to be the same label two hundred years from now. You know what I mean. So I've become a lot less happy to say, yeah, I'm bipolar, like, who cares? WHO gives a fuck? Honestly, I don't care what you are. I care what you do and how you feel like. How do you feel on your day to day existence and what do you do? Like? Let's talk about those things. I don't Fuck Your label. I don't really care that you're bipolar. Here's why I don't care, because I have like eight of these things and they keep losing track of how many Goddamn disorders I've been labeled with. So, I mean, some people think that that might be controversial or provocative, and frankly it's to me. It's so not controversial or provocative. I could give a fuck about that argument at all. Like everything...

...we've thought turns out to be wrong. It always does. Science evolves, religion evolves, everything changed. So for anybody to stop right now in two thousand and eighteen and say, nope, this is what it is and this is all it's going to be in the so fucking arrogance. No, it's not things will change. Don't get all wrapped up in your label. We are not our labels, so be careful of the ones you embrace there. They're great for categorizing things and for moving conversations forward, but they're also used to protect your ego go they're also used to thwart progress and they're also used to just diminish secondary people. What the Fuck is secondary people? Hmm, Oh, the cat. Yeah, so it's hard to find a real cat, apparently. I look on craigslist and there's lots of people putting fake ads, trying to collect your information and then ultimately telling you, okay, by the way, I live threezero miles away and I'm going to send you the cat in a box on an airplane after you paypal me four hundred dollars, like what? Now? That's a common scheme on craigslist, apparently. Anyway, I was work in the front desk at a hotel. I run give my employees the time off to go do the fourth of July party, and some dude came up and said, Hey, I heard y'all was looking for a kitten and I'm like, what do you mean, like personally? He's all, yeah, yeah, I heard she was looking for a cat and like Oh what, because I didn't want a cop to it because I picky about what it looks like, and I was a phrase, it's going to show me some ugly ass cat that I didn't really want. So I'm all yeah, let me see. So he had a picture on his phone. He showed me and the cat was hello, cute. So, long story short, ended up get the cat. I've got a cute cat. He siding out in that room over there because he's a maniac after dark and I can't podcast with him in here. But he's awesome them and take lots of pictures of them put them on instagram. His name's Zeke and at nighttime he becomes Ming, the merciless. Yeah, okay. So here's what we're going to do. I need you to prepare yourself, because I'm not. If you want to like listen to me ramble, go subscribe to Johnny Emotions. Got It. Like these kind of shows, the bipolar style show that's in this RSS feed. Starting in season three, probably two or three more episodes will be that ultimate idea I had of like a group of people sharing their stories each week. Cool. Now what we need is more people to share their stories, because right now we got a solid core of people that could support the show moving forward. But if we keep doing that with the same people, it's going to sound like a cast. You know, I don't want to sound like a the same cast on the show every time, like Chopo traphouse or something. I wanted to actually rotate with new people each time. So please go to bipolar PARTYCOM and join us. Learn to trust us. will learn to trust you. And get your gear together. Typically, if you have a wired headset that goes into your computer and Ethernet cable into the back of your computer, that's plenty. Some people try Wi fi and Bluetooth, but then it sucks because the audio sucks. And how would you like the audio in your ears right now to suck? You wouldn't? You want it to sound great. So please do that. If you want to join us on the upcoming episodes of bipolar style, get a headset, Mike with a cable to your computer and a chord for your Internet. Got It.

That's funny. I'm like, here's how you do it. You have to do it this way. Well, I'm just fucking I'm tired of hearing Shitty Quality Audio, I won't listen to podcasts in general because I'm tired of routing through the ones that have crappy audio. I go to podcast meet up groups here in San Francisco and Oakland and we talked about that a lot. A lot of the new people coming on that are starting to make their own shows one of their biggest complaints is poor audio. So there is a right way to do good audio. However, if you're getting into the mental health advocacy thing, there are actually no right ways or wrong ways to advocate. There's only your way. So don't let people try to hijack your language. Clearly it's best if you're sharing facts, but a lot of times sharing facts in different lights provokes people and that's okay. But you got to keep the conversation open. Don't be scared to engage. People have different styles, people have different personalities, but generally speaking, you know, go out there and be yourself. Just be open. Don't try to shut people down. You don't get to control the language. Nobody controls the language. The moment somebody thinks that they're in charge of the language is the moment we've stopped progress. And then the thing about stigma and mental health. That's trippy. When I talk with mark the other week. So apparently the best way to get around stigma or destroy stigma. Excuse me, or who, however you wanted to talk about disintegrating stigma, is to do better. So we have to highlight our successes. Nobody cares about when we're depressed. Come on, remember the old cliche. Smile and the whole world smiles with you cry and you cry alone. That's so true. I mean, if you just need the Internet because you want likes and that clicks on your Sarah telling and your dopamine in your brain and that actually makes you feel better, there's some science to that, sure, but I mean really that you've just on the Internet to get clicks and likes. Permission to do that. Back, I never prove much crap. God Damn it, you're fire. Pack up the Shit. I'm not kiddyway yet the fuck up. Fly like plate. It gets me at the BOTTS for name. If you come around, Hey, we working all day. Your Life gonna Passy in the second. If you wait, I fly like people get highlight plane. If you get me at the border, I don't want to my name. If you come around. Hey, we working all day. Your Life Gone Bessy in the second if you wait. Just like just a change. When I'm sitting on trains. Ever since we're getting see with clocking that game. Got For dinner. The world does inflame bona fire hustles making that change. Just like just a change when I'm sitting on trains. EVERST that we're getting to we' clock in that game. Don't for dinner. The world's in flame for a fire hustle loves making that change. That all I want to do. And up and taking money. All I wanna do it, and and taking whatever. All they wanna do it, and and taking money. All they wanna do it. And and taking six is down and bullets in browns running when we hit a lit took poison for the system. Subscribe to bile is all on eye cheese, a squatify. Following on on twitter joyless excuses me as bi.

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