Live from Emo Dojo
Live from Emo Dojo

Episode · 3 years ago

Stigma in the workplace; Bipolar disorder

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

John and Becky (from That B Word Podcast) talk about the stigma against Bipolar Disorder in the workplace and share their personal experiences about whether or not to "come out" as Bipolar at work.

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Send comments to comments@bipolarstyle.com or leave a public voicemail response (377) 944-9333

Andos online EIT, that's it! That's me with Bipole isstoil again, as promised. Becky from that B. Word is with me. Was that Becky good good? So hopefully you were justlistening to that nonsensical episode in Er patiently waiting for us to talkabout stigma in the workplace. You know it's funny, because both Beckyand I work at jobs where they do not know we have bipolar disorder. Do you do you want to start? Do youwant to tell us what your situation is and to the extent that you're able well sure so my work for a lawyer and my job is well et te say so my the Lora I work for is actually tankolly trusty, so I have to present in a certain way. I guesseverybody does, but not only do I have my boss that I have to impress inappear normal to. I also have the United States sus, Tate Thoug. I haveto make sure that they think I was sayg so so that can be a little bit difficulthe Times. Yeh That S. that's a lot of pretending,youare saying well, yeah. It's a lot of etending in general, but yeah. So mycurrent situation is that I have lately this past six months or so had a lot more appointments. WOT. Iacticassou O of Yeo increased to go to therapy and go into my my men, person, yeah and running out of vacation days and in order to you know,get some of this time allowed. WHYTO DO, Oh, you ha, so you haven't. The explanation has not had to come upyet. No, no I've just been able to say hey,but OFAN or mint. I have the same thing. That's so weird and I okay so back toyour industry that have you been in the legal industry for long Yo, Wthisjobforr fourteen years, oh my God, ight right butand, it's not just your firm!That stickit has, I don't know, let's call it prejudice or something, andobviously it's not specific to your firmmit but the whole legal industry. Iwould imagine once any of your cohords or your or the lawyers themselves know.Somebody else has bi poer disorder that...

...must be devastating in that industry.I'm just guessing. I don't know is it. I mean I I don't know if anybody else is. Oh, Idon't know. Maybe nobody isoutthat was out to me anyway,the that in trouble or got finof the Blat, although I do know well, there was one person who I knewhad like Olo disorder. I don't think anybody else h knew, but she did end upgetting clired because of the biple O iof. You know her result: Bas, yeah,yeah God, but that'sthat's Interestngton, BSE, asossible mebut.She Didtausyo o yeah that that's a hard choice. A lot of us have to make it'slike. Do I go all in and just say I got by polar disorder or do I say I've gotfucking loopist or something I've got lopis. I can't come into it, but I meannot to joke about people with Lupis. Obviously, but I mean there are plentyof accepted ailments will keep you at home, like food poisoning, people heareat my work, think I fucking eat at the craziest restaurants, because I'malways getting food poisoning you just a lass of bad stay. I totally bad Sushi.Oh recently, I just ate a bunch of iceberg letuce, whatever that kind oflet us romayne lettuce, yeah yea, hat fucking. I was like depressed for twodays I couldn't get out of bed. I could barely even like take a shower and Iwork and live in the building. I work in right, so they missed me, butfortunately I got them all hooked up on slack, so they need Bein, Myk, Hey, I'mjust be upstairs typing. You know. Let me know what you need, but oh mat sofucking hard to get and functions sometimes. So I just like Oh yeah, it's migrane food put just some bullshitright, because people will not accept I've got bpolor disorder. They'll, lookat you crazy and I often compared to other invisibleconditions. Let's call them because T at's, that's my siren by the way so thenew rule is we don't worry about sirens that go by okay. We just worry aboutthe ones that stop yeah, that one's going back, he's still moving, keepgoing buddy every time they stop. I end up like got to go downstairs and find adead body or Solfe Shit Fon, the regular three in three months- so'm lonthly, I guess yks indeed so so, for example, g people I get on because I makeridiculous comparison, sometimes like the one I'm about to make, but like are there any homosexuals thatare out at yourlaw firm, wow interesting? Do you think that is thesimilar stigma like do you think Itoud...

...be easier to be out as a gay person orout as a bipolar person? Had A law firm? Oh, I think a for certain. Definitely!Yes, absolutely! But we've got the I we do have toacknowledge our privilege as white people, because I always like to tellothers no matter how bad you think you have it. You could be gay and havebipola disorder, but you could also be black. On top of that, so alwaysconsider that white people. If you're out there complaining about your lat inlife, you could always throw black on top of that and then see how it wouldfeel anyway, sorry to Thak Gress, but I always think of that, because I'velived around so many black folks and that was remo event. I'm like Oh yeah,that's true, I could be black and it would be worse, yeah well, yeah, so, but also being you can't, you can'thide bean black. You can hide your bipolar. You can hide you gay. You canhide a lot of things, but you can't hide your skin tone, obviously O R Y Rethnicity. So that's why it's a ridiculous comparison there, but no. Mycomparison was by polar to gay anyways so where we are on California in California. Here Ilive in the heart of Super Liberal town, I guess and Everyo everybody's githing. I thinkI'm the only not gay person. Maybe if I moved to your state. I am a SuperDemocrat here. If I moved to your state, they probably call me a Republican fuck yeah. They call t this one GuyGavin Nesom who's running for something here and maybe the governor, I think inCalifornia he was the mayor of San Francisco and he fought. He was thefirst guy that legalized gay marriage in the city, but he said Fuck State Law,it's legal here, it's going to be legal and that guy is considered far right inSan FANCISCO yeah. Just because just ekcause he's white he's white and helooks like you know: a model actor kind of guy. It's just two to pretty boy toupscale. He's got fancy guys money from some. You know I'm not sure where hegets his money from the getdy family or something, but anyway they alwaysfollow the money. No matter how liberal your policie is, or your attitude oryour intent. If you're attached to money, somehow the super duper liberalswill say: Nope you're, not one of us. After all, yeah had we get off on that o thestigma thing so yeah, let's get back to Stin me back to that was my bed soanyway, my point being here in San Francisco, being gay, isn't the thing and you caninfact mental illness, isn't really a stigma downtown? It's just something!That's so pervasive most we don't know how to deal with it. So h the idea ofstigmais different here, because if you are able to put on theact and not fall apart like I have bipolo disorder, I've Gott myselftogether over the years and I've stepped up through jobs and experience,and now I have a job. So people know me as that guy with the job right, but inmy head I don't think I'm that much...

...difference different than the dudesleeping right there on the sidewalk outside y window. Right now, there'snot that much of a difference. It's just that they misse their opportunity.They did a did the wrong drug at the wrong point or something, but I'm likewe're just two steps away from each other bro. So the stigma is different.So if I, even if I told people at work, I had a mental disorder to them, theysee mental disorder as sleeping in the gutter. They don't see that in me. Sotherefore they think oh no big deal you're probabl, you're, fine Ani'm like okay, so I feel sort ofdismissed, maybe slightly gas lighted a little bit, but at least in myperspective, it's on the good sade at least they're airing on the good site,a we still likeno yeah. No, no, not this time before. Let's seeI worked in this industry before many years ago, and everything was cooluntil one of my supervisors. I told her I had by polor disorder because it gotto that point where: How often can you be food poisonedright, so I finally told her and within a week she was slamming me with allkinds of micromanagement, bullshit, all kinds of extra paperwork, extrasupervision- I mean exactly the opposite of the way you would treatsomebody in this situation really just made matters worse, so Ivoluntarily, you know, gave my two weeks notice and found a different joband just left. I took another job in a differentindustry, and part of that process was all like. Hey, let's share aboutyour stories and let's be a community at this place, and first thing Ithought was excuse me, I'm like well sure I justmoved to a new town and I'll share everything. I'm like hey, I have bypolar disorder and you guys hired me because we're diverse and love and allthis bullshit well that's great. When you're madic and you're able to feedthe machine right. Oh Yeah, they love that they love that predetatCredittivita, fuck, yeah, creativity, Manic Energy, works all ours, upeatattitude friendly, all the whole shit, and then you start swinging into thatdepressive mode, no matter how hard you try at might be mother's Day orChristmas, or some bullshitill just set you off and usually take somethingpretty big, but eventually it happens. And then I got depressed not not even alittle depressed, hard depresse. You know like in bed for a couple weeksdidn't didn't fucking do my laundry for months was buying my shit off of Amazon.Instead of washing the underwear I buy more underwear from Amazon in'm likeyeah fuck it, whatever very liberal, paid time off policy, Iused it all up eventually, of course, and thirs things spunaut IC trol. Ijust lost the job because of that there's no two ways about it, and whatdo you expect? Even with the...

...friendliest of organizations? Let's say how I meanwhat do you? What I can't expect them to keep tat sick of a person around onthe books forever, but then again, what do you do with us right? Yeah? That's aproblem US w UPNCANIT's Bullshityeah. No, it's anextra layer that we don't really need. I mean single pair government providedinsurance would be the best, but you know this aint, the politics show not yetwe'll get to that. Definitely an episode. There's definitely a place formentally ill people. Let's say to get involvedwith politics to help make themselves better. The stigmais definitely strong yeah. Soever since I've lost two jobs, not quite in Arow, there's a couplesprinkled in in the middle of sales jobs and things like that. Sales iscool because if you sell Shit and you perform, you can not sell stuff for acouple weeks or months as long as you sold some other shit and your yearlyquota is keeping up that's a flexible job, so I alwaysencourage people with by polar disorder to find some kind of flexible job likethat. But anyway, so after that being stung and let go from twodifferent jobs, I vowed not to say anything about my bipollar disorder atthe next job and so far so good. So I've now made it through two jobs and actually have three jobs. So I workmy way through one without ever saying it, and I currently work two jobs andneither of them know anything about it, which is fine, because I also wellthat's also what makes it weird about starting a podcast under my own name.Invariably, somebody's Goingna find that AH, but here's her's my hereis mycool thing unless they're super inthe podcasts and know how podcast work,which I've found are very few people where I live like most of them,especially my age or older. They don't they don't know Dick About podcast.They know the Internet and phones and smart daps and everything, but theyhaven't taken that leap in the podcast, yet most of them, the old people at thehotel I work at they don't even know what a fucking podcast is. I Ave wontit's like public radio. Yes, I'm going to interview you like public radio.They understand that but to sorry lost my place over there seriously, where, where was I sorry e? No totallydid last my o...

...anyway, so always getting back to thisstigma and why I hide it. So! Oh the paywall thing yeah thepatriomthing so like it we've talked before, but I really just I talked tothis Mike because otherwise I would be talking to myself. I don't have a petthere's, no cats around or dogs for me to talk to. Oh I'll, tell you about the cat, andjust second so anyway, since I'm going to keep talking on a Mike Anyway, Idon't really care if people hear it, I'm putting all this shit behind apatreoon paywall like everything except twitter, I'm going to start posting. Myphotos like a instead of Instagram, it's going on Patreon if I ever want toblog something it's going on Patreon and I'm just going to lock all of thatShit behind te Pay Wall and if any perspective employer wants to peak onme that its Goinno have the GNN have to pay which serves my purpose. In manyways I keep it. Private I'll definitely know who paid three bucks or a buck orwhatever, to see it, because I m, like Oh, my prospective employers checkingup on me, yea, whatever so I'll, be able to do that and if they do happen to know thetechnology of podcast, then they're, probably pretty fucking cool people andthey probably would not hold the mental illness against me. If I was alreadydoing my job and they never knew right, Andeah exactly they just they would have to be kind ofstockerish into which I would say well dode you're the weird of looking up onme. So you know s who's more weird. You stocking me or me just having a voicein a sea of hundreds of thousands of other people doing podcast anyway. Yeah,so it should be fun, but hopefully I can get it serialized so where I couldget up in the morning, O just talk for five minutes about the thing thathappened yesterday and regular listeners would be like. Oh Yeah. Iremember that thing that happened yesterday cool. What's the resolutionto that situation, Eah yeah talk about things that happen in the building talkabout h, the other podcast, I'm going to start about the stories of thepeople that llive in building that should be fun, a that is you're Jenoslike super interesting, Om, right, yeah to me it is, and other people justdon't believe it. So I think by telling it in a day by day, they'll start toactually believe it, because otherwise it just sounds like a bunch of made upstories and I'm like no dude. That shit actually really happen, like that'simpossible. That stuff does not happen that frequently to anybody, I'm likeyes, it does. It happens to everybody in this neighborhood. So nuts was thattelling you earlier like? I was payd a today, so I went and cast a check. Okay, ther's, a a bank in Americacalled wells, Fargo big old bank like a banking form company, whatever their main branches over there by thetwitter office and right by twitters headquarters. So I think all the newpeople from twitter or something that don't have yet direct deposit have togo cast checks at this wells, Fargo, bank and man. It is the dirtiest mostfucked up bank I've ever seen and...

...you've got these uptiht Tet guyswearein a little bit too tighed of Khaki dockors nd. They get superuptiede line and they put on the Super White Guy impression like who's managing thisplace. This is a fiasco. Somebody should do something fucking great there's, almost a brawbetween some other guys. You know the guys with the tattoos on their face andstartind shit with they got three security guards and theyere all intheyre like getting ready to Braw, they hav their jackets off, and then they called the cops. But, ofcourse this is the part of t town. Where cops, don't really come, so the I still win. What's that even to bank? I was telling the lady inline. I'm like watch. The cops will come here fast because this is wherethe money is and she agreed and we sat in line another fifteen minutes no cops,fortunately, no brawl either, but it's just a interesting like weird shitlike that happens. Every day that was just two hours ago, yeah, it's fascinating man. I dig itand I think other people might find interesting stories there and I won'thave to fucking focus on being bi polar all the time or having boor disorder orHavy fucking to concentrate on how to say which. How would us do it? You knowwhat I mean like. Oh my God, just let me be me. I just I just want to talkand it doesn't have to be about bi polar disorder. Let's do other greatshit, because man there's so many great creative people out there that do stuffthat and they only happen t be by polar or they only happen to have byborderline or whatnot man. That borderline has been kicking. My asslately too M it's the worst. Who else has this? Besides Lik, I meana lot of people with by polar I'm, not sure I they're so close to each other.Those a sometimes are really really similar yeah. It's like a joystick on aarcade game and by polars up and down and borderlines left and right I meanit's all the same: fucking joystick and sometimes it's the worst thing about itto me is, and it kind of goes with the stigma that experience and the tryingto hide my true self in the workplace. I really have a hard time accepting anykind of compliments and then I complain because I don't feel I'm supported, butyet when people complement me, I reject the compliment and like well that'sfucking, stupid how's that going to work hut, Jusis, it's like a perpetualdownward cycle, TAT's, not no! That's also kind of what keeps mefrom like getting on the microphone. I'm like h. Why am I even talkingnobody wants to hear and then the other, like the devil on this shoulter's likeyou're, not talking, because people want to hear you're talking, becauseyou need to talk, that's rhit. You have to yeah yeah a good blue, an a red. I don'tknow once before the Obama election. I got two of those Chinese fighting fish,a blue one and a red one- and I put him in a tank together to see who would win is one of those things I wanted to test.Like people are I' saying: No, you can't feed chocolate dogs they'll dieand one time we had like this fucking...

...gigantic mastiff and he got into theEaster basket and ate the whole fucking thing, including the basket like Oh mGod, the fat grass, the Straw basket, all the candied eggs, the Tinfoil Hanfucker didn't die at all. He's shit out shit out, O beaster basket, nope, not abit, not even a little yeah. I A little people freaking out crazy because Ihave a dog and he got into some girlstale cookies and, like almost dieand Ahnowishouldn't. I should take that back. I'm not belittling the effect ofchocolate on dogs at all, because it is dangerous to dogs. I was just, and Idid obviously give my Easter basket to the mastiff, but I I was shocked whennothing happened to him like we took him to the Vane. Tack, O Well Seems:Okay, Wat, here's the bill, my g thang go heping. No, he was sure is fine likethat fucking dog, and then he ate the deck, but next week the deck like fucking wooden day, if you guys want amastiff there, you go love that dog. Oh, so that's why I like him justGIGANIC head, Hey! So sorry back to the cat thing, there's a weird phenomena onCraig's list, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but if you go to Craig'slist under community and the upper left, quadrants there's a pets column in San Francisco. If you go under pets,you can find hold on one second, so stuck in my throat go a SAR. I'm drinking I'm drinking mySoda Ias Seriously. Thinking about startingone of those podcasts shough! You now shit yeah! No, you should you got thekind of voice that people tune into just get really up to the Mike Fun.Anyway. They craigs list cats bizarro world. So you reply to these people andthey'll like send you they'll lead you on. They won't tell you what therehoming fear is and then they'll send you like, but Firste I'm happy you inquired aboutmy precious Kitten, the first. Let me ask you some questions that and El askyou a bunch of random questions. None of them are like give me your bankaccount or social security. Nothing like that, but clearly they have one ofyour email addresses likely right, not a a big deal. They have so littleinformation about. You is what trips me out about this fiasco, because then aemail or two later when they think they've got you on the hook. They'llled on that they're, actually not in San Francisco they're, not in the citythat you are in theyre in a different city. But if you send them a check fortwo hundred dolar or whatever the rehoming fee is, and it's usually likekind of exorbitant for a stray cat. Then then, they'll mail, you they'llship, you, the fucking cat on the airplane, I'm like that is thestupidest scam ever who would want who wants to mal order cat for one? Youwould never know what you're getting...

...it's I mean, even if it was true. Iyeah it's onetingright right, yeah and en people do ship animals don't get mewrong, but I'm in the area on the Craig's list looking for for lost andbroken animals, I'm just looking to like straight up adopt. I don't want to,and that's the other thing all the fucking people on Craig's List Yourelike Oh rehoming, feeof, five hundred dollars and Lik five hundred dollarscould feed a fucking cat for two years. Are you kidding like if, if you'redoing that, for the money get out of the business, I'm used to seeing aboxful of kittens out in front of the Kmart, but the SID says pick one:that's that's the kind of Kitties I'm looking for I'll, take it to the vetI'll, get it fixed I'll, get it shots, but man as so many scammeras on Craig'slist. However, I did find one. He had a local number and I called him earlierthis morning and he's real and the cat is real. So in all week I might have a cat. It'sonly like seven months old right now, but he's got it and he's moving. He can't keep it and he sounds real. So I'm so excitedit's like almost all white, but it's got huge, symmetrical black patchesover left and right eye and got a little black goaty under his chin, yeah yeah. But what I did because I'mlike Super Annal about symmetry and design. His markins are like really radthey're like symmetrical and not out of wack balance and all that Herfe at Braa.Sorry, cats, I'm really atal about your markings like coy fish, go shop it forcoyfish and I'm like nope that one's fucked up nope, that's a little splotgyhit's Oneven, its oft tothe left a bit much so I like the weird fucked op lookingonce I like all animals better than none. Let's put it that way, but if I'mtaking the time to sort through all these Craig's list cat scammer ads andmaking all the trips over to the SPCA every weekend to see, if my cat isthere, you know I'm not. I don't have it in mind. I just have what a I don'tknow. Maybe I do. I don't have a specific thing in mind. I just knowwhen I see it yeah and this little guy looks pretty cute so I'll see. I'm really excited aboutthat. Yeah me too, so cool. What people don'trealize until we bring it up. Is that while we're recording this and I'm inCalifornia yeure in Ohio, nobody actually knows what time it is. So it'sactually getting pretty late for you. Isn't it it's like ten? Thirty, can you can you do this once a month?Can we like get together and talk shit aboutbipolar stuff, roused Gim into the loop? Sometimes I like one on one this way,because there's no editing involved with he three people was awesome to it.Just required editing, which was one more thing I procrastinated on, and it turned out fine though 'o youhear it,...

...the one you you and Jim and I did yeahis Po. I don't listen to the ones I mei don'tihear, my voice. It's such a weirdthing, even like listening to my voice in headphones right now, I'm like who is that creep get thatweird out of my head. I don't mind my voice. So much is Ijust don't wike the things that I say. I think I sound like o like an stupidperson most of the time, so I think I sound like A. I don't know me. I know it all. I thinkthit's, not the words. I say it's just the emphasis I place because I'm reallyinfact just and I say things like. Oh here, okay,here's one thing I'll just will leave kind of on. Maybe this note. So do youget really enthusiastic about others projects in your life like when peoplecome up and say, Hey, I'm going to school and learn Spanish! Sir Hey?What's up, I just got a New Card D. are you like into it? You get excited forthem yeah I mean Yeh for sure and well I get excited for almost anything likeand it's genuine, because I'm really curious and if someone approaches me, Idon't like to say I'm an empath, because that sounds fucking hippyish.But when someone comes up- and I could tell they're- really excited I'll jumpon that and I'll amplify their excitement. So my problem has been inthe past and it's becoming again is when I put out that excitement fortheir project. That person assumes I want to help themwith it. I want to give me my time to it or that I'm going to do it for themeven yeah, and I don't realize this because it's not stated in words oractions or writing. But you know a few days later, Wi'll come back and I'll belike hey how's, that project you're working on Oh yeah, yeah. I thought youwere going to Xyz or say some Shit youkw like Hm. No, no. I didn'tactually SAV that at all, so I feel, like I get roped into people's projectsby being overly enthusiastic about it and then on the flip side, like with myown kids, there's the issue of being too enthusiastic, whe they're like mom,Dan's recking it that's, okay, it's rubbed off on them.Now I think they've got just enough. Ohhere's! The latest thing allright, one more thing! This is funny. I don'tthink we've talked about this on the podcast yet so I grew up long, hairrock and roll tattoos, sex drugs, rock and roll right AD. I look like a regular White Guy Cop.Look now shaved head dude whatever, so I was trying to trick my kids, you knowthinking I'm a square keep my tattoos covered uupbecause, but because youpossibly dothwhat happened was that reverse psychology shit, so we were sexdrugs and rock and roll the parents, the mom and I and the kids turned outnow. They're Allsquare, my kids are all...

...square. That's the WES thing yacht rockright, so they work at the gym, their straight edge with their diet, veryhealthful eaters. All that good stuff- and you know I'm like Oh that's great-at least they're- not doing some weird shit and then sure enough. One day Ithought one of my kids was fucking with me when he sent me, we like chat backand forth on apple like Apple Music and we'll send each other songs. Well, hestart sending me this weird ass shit like Asia, not the country, the bandPeter Sitara, Chicago all the set and like hejus kind of digging deep intothe into the deep cut Serah what's going on, and I thought he was fuckingwith me being ironic nope. If you didn't know, I'm not sure what age youare, not you becky, but it the listener, like there's a small, thin slice ofAmerican society right in that maybe nineteen totwenty one year old range that er into old sappy Song, wrider rock songs,bands like America, seals and Crofts Billy Joel, maybe it and they call ityacht rock, like yacht, like a boat, go google, it yacht rock. If you go tofucking hitunes right now, there's a yacht rock playlist they've, alreadycurated a Yaht rocker playlist and you can go just drip sap, all down yourplaylist all night, Long Lik! Listening like my kid. Okay, here's the here's,the apex of this issue, my kid emails me anTexme says dad. This is probably the greatest album of all time. I looked out at my phone air suppliasgreat as hits hair suflies and like I'm, like slayer Van Halen, Pantara fucking,all that right, here's, my kid and he's a jock. You know you know hejust a sist gendered, Jockey Kid thatyou would think. I don't know what he's listening to but nope it's Fucking Ping,Peter Sitara, being air supply and like Woa, who whoa so if you've got get anygood yacht rocks B. sides that I can throw at him because we're to the pointnow we're just trying to trick each other with even deeper cuts that wehadn't heard before, which a funny game to play with the twenty year old get OmJim Krochian there. Oh, he loves Jim Kroachi Yeah Yeah Away Yeah operator, bthe Roller Rolle der Bequeen, all thatstuff, not just t e. The main hits like bad badlo Roy Brown or anything helikes. He looks for the be sides, he's flipping Misto Mountain John I', neverheard. In my whole life I' like I, okay, I'm like well allentons got like eightmillion album, so there's bound to by stuff. We hadn't heard anyway yachtrockits, where it's at people coolin so see. We just had anotherbipolar style podcast, where we weren't heavy into the therapy we weren't intolike medicine.

We should. We should do one on medicine.Next time, though, because there's some new meds coming out- and I saw anawesome commercial for Vrelar v Tralar, have you seen the commercial with theladies going manic, making sandwiches its funny? I think it was on the CBSNews, APP that I watche through the Roku stick, but so ralar and I look forthe commercial on the Youtube. It's not there. Nobody I mean it's kind of gonenow, but it showed a lady making like Baloney sandwiches and peanut buttern,jolly sandwiches and sheese sandwiches Furd, like kids, lunches and she's,going real, real good there for a minute, and then she starts cuttinglike crazy and putting peanut butter on the cheese and just fucking up all thesandwiches, like that looks like me and then vralarfor bipolar disorder and like Oh yeah, that is me. That's a pretty gooddepiction wonder if anybody else with by polardisorder has seen the new Verela commercial with the lady fucking up allthe sandwiches, it's probabl ha to Trianfi. No I'd looke yeah, totallylook on Youtube, vralar sandwiches or I don't know it's going to pull that out,but good stuff yeah. I want to talk more about Mads, I'm starting to see anew psychiatrist shortly and Oh, investigate meds, ' not hip on itbecause I'm doing okay without, but I'm always open to new ideas. So we'll seehow that goes, and you just you started brayler. Yousaid Yeah Shit. Well, let's do a podcast in abouta month from now and we'll see how that's going. That should be enoughtime to tell yeah, hopefully nice, okay, what do you want to promote? You wantto say anything before we kept this out that ve wit, one that BOCOM tathe athat be word Wan, Youwatch, anything woith that be wort. You guys arehearing what she's throwing down right, you're, picking up what she's throwingdown act. That B word the letter B word the number one at that B word: onethat's a twitter handle and that's I that B wordcom is where you can find:Oll, iver other goodies, and Oh here, listen to this real quick. Give me sixseconds join the party at Bipolar Partycom, like she said you could join the partyat by polar PARTYCOM and yeah. I'm good follow me. Pat J lily show on twitter and, of course,at by polar style, bypolar stylecom, DUP Todo and let's kick it over it toyour stuff, and thanks for coming on again back and really appreciate youandil look forward to a MED update on the next episode. ONI CSEA.

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