Signal Drops
Signal Drops

Episode · 4 years ago

That B-Word meets Bipolar Style; Mental Health Podcasters Unite!

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

John Emotions welcomes Becky, from "That B-Word" podcast as they discuss their motivations for starting their respective shows, and how things are progressing. 

We touch on stigma, why our particular identities are somewhat anonymous, and the challenges of working full-time AND producing something as challenging as a podcast. 

We also mention the various initials involved with our condition ...

Check out Becky's podcast on iTunes at http://bit.ly/ThatBWord

Engage Becky on Twitter @ThatBWord1

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Send comments to comments@bipolarstyle.com or leave a public voicemail response (377) 944-9333

Welcome back to bi polar style, the podcast for bipolar people and those who love them. Doing US online at by polar stylecom Johnny motion. Guess WHO's here? It's that B word. Hi. Hi, you can probably backy. By the way. That's okay, awesome. So, Becky, host of that be word, thanks for showing up. I appreciate it. It's hard. It's hard. Yeah, it's hard to wrangle people not on, not on their behalf, but just on my behalf, because, you know, it's hard scheduling when you've got certain issues happening in life. So I really appreciate you coming on. And things are especially interesting today because I'm traveling. I took a train ride, which is really fun. I really highly recommend that, and now I'm at my dad's house up in the mountains with the head kind of suspect audio set up. So I think it's going pretty well, though. So your voice sounds great and that's killer. Hey, that's yeah, the most jealous. I want to take a train ride to yeah, it's so neat, I love it. There's a there's a train that is comes near to where I live and it's like an express train to DC. So I want to go up there and do that and hit the museums. Oh yeah, it's awesome them, totally. I love museums, especially they're they're all free. Yeah, exactly. Wow, not really free. I mean we do pay for them. Somebody paid for that. That's right. So how did you get into podcasting? I think we're both new to podcasting, right. I know I'm pretty well. Yeah, no, I'm very new. I well, I've been listening to podcast for a really long time and you know I love them, and that's pretty much all I listened to. Every buddy's really bored when they get in the car with me, because but not a good cast and they want some music. But so I love the format and I always kind of wanted to get into it, but I never had a topic right. I never really thought that anything I had to say would be interesting enough. So, after listening to some other podcast mental podcasts, shout out to the normal bipolar guy. Yeah, I just decided, you know, I'm just going to do it. So I did it and here I am. Yeah, was was your drive like? Were you ever into radio? Like, did you want to be a DJ, or was it more of a kind of like I want to have by bipolar voice heard, was it? Well, actually, I did have a radio, Internet radio show for a little while. There's my dog, all right, so I did that for for a while. So, but it was never like for Real Dj. It just is that on the side, something to do. You've got a good voice for radio, though, so I was wondering. That sounds like she's done this before. What kind of radio show did you do before? It was just local music, like local bands. Yeah, oh, that's awesome. Yeah, it was fun. It was a lot of fun because I got all the demos and I got to play the new music, which was a lot of fun. Yeah, I know, that's perfect. What's your favorite music style? The have a genre that you're particularly in towards? I mean, not really. I kind of love everything. Yea True Music Fan for yeah, yeah, I mean I can't really say that. I, you know, don't like any particular way genre all together because, I mean, maybe I don't listen to the country music station all the time, but there are some country songs that I love, you know, and like. There are some hiphop songs that I don't like and some that I love. So yeah, that's for sure.

It's but country is a trip, because in California I never listened to it. When I was staying in Louisiana it's all I listened to and I don't really like it that much, but it's infectious. You start to hear it and then I just start to dissect it and I like, okay, here comes the part or is going to mention an American brand and then he'd go out and mix it up with the boys. Oh, Yep, check, check. You just like driving across the country. You have a checklist of country songs and man, most songs hit every cliche on there. It's pretty funny. Yeah, that's true, but I mean I just like music so much I will crank up some country any old day and get my jam on. So, yeah, I don't want to spare Jenny music styles, but country is interesting for sure. But, like I gain like when you're surrounded by people that listen to just one type of music, you just start to appreciate it. I guess it's crazy. Well, and was this all in Ohio, where you are now? Yeah, I'm in Ohio right now. Yeah, that's so. That was you did the Ohio music scene? HMM, yeah, it was a Youngstown Ohio what when I was doing that. So I love that idea. It was it couldn't been that long. Yeah, I couldn't been long ago. Right, you're young, so it's not like our back in the day. Well, not that young, but Um, yeah, I was A it was about fifteen years ago. Maybe cool to say. No, can't be that long. Yeah, Time flies the twenty it's like, think about it, like two thousand and one, like nine eleven was seventeen years ago. Where you know, sixteen years ago. It's crazy, it is. I can't wrap my own my mom. Can't wrap my mound mind around it sometimes and there goes my mouth now. Yeah, go, go, pick your tongue up over there. I know which just happened. That's funny. Okay, well, here's where it gets kind of interesting. We talked about other things to talk about on when we do podcasts, and one of them is still kind of always on the present ideas that we're always moving and we never quite feel settled where we are. MMM, so what I hear? We could talk about that a little bit, but I also want to hear about your methodology in creating your podcast, in particular because, like myself, you don't use your real face and I think that's like could we kind of talked about that a little bit and what touched the bone especially was that part, like are we hypocritical because we're, quote unquote, fighting stigma, yet we hide behind little icons and things like that? You want to talk about that? Yeah, well, you kind of hit the nail in the head. Sometimes I'm just not sure if I am really doing any good if I am not out there with my real face, in my real name, you know, saying this is me and you know, fight sticking with that way. or I'm hoping that like the format of my podcast, having people on and tell their stories kind of will do that for me so I don't have to and everybody can stay in onymous. But I agree, I think that's part of the value because, excuse me, have you ever heard of the term shamrock? HMM, pulling the Shamrock, or it's called the Irish goodbye. It's when you're at a party or an event and you just kind of leave, you just kind of duck out the back door. Nobody knows you left, because the idea is that you really don't want it to be about you. And that's kind of my idea with the whole just putting an icon up there and not using the real my actual photograph, is because I don't want it to be about a boy or a girl, or a man or woman, or a white person or a black person. I just want to be about the person, about each each person that perceives their differences. Yeah, yeah, no, that's great, that's...

...it's perfect. But I also have to work and that's that's the reality. So I've I've had jobs where the whole thing was, hey, let's talk about, you know, our personal lives and let's share, and invariably I would share about having bipolar disorder, which is wonderful, as you know, when your manic and people can look, people love to take advantage of mania. It's fun and life of the Party. You get a lot of work done. But then when you when you really get the press, not not the kind of Daytoday, depression a lot of bipolar folks live with, but I mean when you get that hard depression where you really can't get out of bed, you're stuck, you know, in a dark room for months. HMM. You know, do, you tend to lose your job and it's obviously because of the condition and it's those times where I don't want to run out there waving a flag that, hey, I have a mental illness. At the same time I'm trying to get top dollar for a new job somewhere. So I don't write. I get that it could seem hypocritical, but I also understand that I have my life to live, that nobody else is going to pay me to be bipolar on a podcast. Right, right, yeah, yeah, I mean it's all well and good to, you know, have your your mission and but I mean there's a practical scientific too that you have to work in, you have to eat and yeah, yeah, do you have a day job? I do. Yep. Yeah. How do you function work? Sometimes better than others. Yeah, yeah, I it's actually have had this job for really long time. Oh, nice, comparatively. Yeah, compared. What? What's the nature of your work? I work for a lawyer. Cool, so I kind of kind of have to keep it on the download because of that, of course, also a really, really small office. Yeah, so, but more so, I would say. Yeah, or that industry in particular is very entrenched and old school ways. And Oh, yeah, do you just not gonna have a conversation about these kind of things? So, yeah, it's probably best not to. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, that's cool. We don't have an h our office or anything. It's all yeah, I'm this. I'm work at a real small design firm right now and I'm like, yeah, they don't need to know anything about this, what I'm doing right here at all. Yeah, really, but it's okay. I mean because I think it's fun hosting other folks that are doing really valuable things, like Diane last week with her book about Post Pardon Bipolar Depression. And Yeah, she's fun and she's got a lot of cool things. Plus's super helpful in helping promote other mental health projects, like podcast like ours. I think that's really cool, and Jason B with this movie Donovan. That is pretty drippy. Oh See, I remember you. See, here's the thing. Now, when you were doing music, the music radio bit, you got all the demos. Now doing a podcast about bipolar and I get all the demos, so I get to see entire movies and things like that without that. Yeah, I know, I didn't totally did plan for that from like Oh, yeah, that's a bonus. I get free stuff to watch and listen to. But anyway, I try to do my part in and promoting, you know, pass it on and help promote people that have cool projects, because God knows, it's hard to get anything accomplished with saying people. So, yeah, having a mental illness in getting anything accomplished is amazing to me. So I applaud you for having the quote Unquote Day job and putting on a podcast. Thank you. I don't know if I deserve a clause or if I deserve additional medication, but let's see this. You know, I haven't told by my therapists about the podcast either. Yeah, I haven't either. Like, oh no, some things are private. What's almost like remember, like...

...the old reality shows where they put you in a confessional and that booth which just you in the whole world talking. Yeah, I like that. I think that's what I like. I'm like, okay, it's just me and a bunch of anonymous people, because I've always had the best conversations with like anonymous people that bus stops and things like that. Yeah, so, and honestly, I've had great conversations twice today with animals, with two different dogs. You know, did they just they just get it. You just come up to you and I like, Oh, what's up. Whose dog are you? Cool? Yeah, what's your dog's name back there? Hmm, what's your dogs? Then my dog. He's annoyed that I'm not letting him in the room with me right now, and it's let us towards then, not doing yeah, let him in the room. Hold on a second. Yeah, totally aloud. Why are you so loud? And hopefully doesn't Bark to get let out in you'd be fine. People get right, people get with dogs. Are Say we had a gotta have dog ugs, gotta have animals. On a road trip we were taking cats in the car with us to Louisiana and cat crates and I think that lasted about ten minutes because just the cats were me owing so incessantly in the crate and are like we're not stopping this car for hours, so let's let those fuckers out. And it was great. The cats just crawled all around the car the whole way to Louisiana. I loved it. And they're pretty good about, you know, just chilling on your lap and not getting down by the petals, so it's good. Yeah, animals and cars were just a mind blowing trip. Yeah, I know. Going with cats as harder doves is a little bit easier. I think. What kind of dog is? That sounds pretty big. He's a Mutt. Yeah, he's a yeah, I think he's a gold nerd riever mix, but he's a rescue, so it's hard to tell. Yeah, good for you on the rescue bit. Yeah, well's the only way to go really. Yeah, I couldn't imagine getting a pet from a pet store. Oh remember. I don't know how old you are, but back in the day they used to have actual pet stores in shopping balls, like indoor shopping balls, with pet stores inside of them. Yeah, I remember. So weird, gross. He was your Gross Funny Story. So a my friends grandmother brought them home a parakeet that she found at the mall that had flown away from the pet store. Oh No, found it like wandering in the ball and she just stuck in nerberd come home gave to them. It's funny, true. Yeah, too cool. That's probably why they don't have those inside the males anymore. Yeah, Hey, so what's the hardest thing you're finding about producing a podcast? Think the just finding the time to edit, you know. Yeah, a hard something that I'd struggle with, you know, because I edit mine pretty heavily. I don't think that you have edit yours as much as I do mine, but can you tell? Because well, you're you know, you're just a lot better at keeping the conversation going, I think, than I am. But and most of half mine is just me. So who you know? What I heard today? I was listening really in my head about it. What I was listening to podcast today. I was listening to something called ninety nine percent invisible. I've heard of those. Yeah, that MMMM. It's a good one because they have like lots of theme music when they're talking about like an art gallery. They were being very descriptive with the words, but they also have some really cool mood music in the background. So that was pretty neat. But yeah, I think it's I like it. That's so far just getting one person and asking how they how they do what they're doing. That's that's always interesting to me, because I've never run out of curiosity about what other people...

...are doing and how they got there, especially once I find out they've got bipolar disorder to start with. What else? What else do you have, have been diagnosed with, or feel like you have? Well, I have been diagnosed with bipolar. They won't tell me type one or type two, but I'm pretty sure it's type one and they don't like to commit. Her lane part right. They don't want to commit because nobody really knows where your head was when that episode, that qualifying episode, happened. They don't know exactly where your head was. So you're right, they don't want to call it one or two sometimes. Yeah, yeah, so I don't know. Maybe it's the other way specified, who knows? But I they also do to diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. So that's troubling effecta yeah, that I have. I have the anxiety myself and I'm certain I have bpd as well, which is super troubling. That seems like the biggest not in my head, to unwin. That's not the mood shifts. After a while you just kind of get numb to mood shifts. I mean you still feel them, but it's like Oh boy, here comes depression, or Oh boy, or comes mania. But with the personality thing, I'm always wondering like way, is that me? Am I good person? Sure, and then you compound that with another layer of emotion and then maybe throwing some anxiety for good measure. And Yeah, it makes I would just I'm amazed that things get done at at all by by people that have any sort of mental disorders. Yeah, it is amazing. I sometimes amazed I make it to work every day. So you have this function. Yeah, you sounds like you have family and a pretty close social circle to help you out. Yeah, well, I have my husband and his two kids and well, we have them every other weekend and then my family is most of us are pretty close by. I have one sister who lives in Arizona now, but we're all pretty close by. So it's I I'm lucky because I have a lot more people in my life that are around to help me then a lot of people do. So, yeah, I remember that. Sometimes you wonder if people, if people's bipolar disorder is exacerbated by the fact that so many people just give up on them and it kind of creates a downward spiral seven sense, you know what I mean, like, especially if it's not diagnosed when you're younger, and your family, your friends and your school and your employees or whatever, employers, if they all just think oh this, this guy's just an asshole. Fuck this guy you know? Are they? Then? Finally, and you, especially if you have a personality disorder and bipolar disorder on top of it, you're not sure why you're being perceived as that asshole either. So in a way, getting diagnosis somewhat of relief. It's like, Oh, thank God, I'm not an Asshole, I just have bipolar disorder and personally said you disorder. Did you feel that relief or did it hit you like a like a train? Well, when I was first agnus with bipolar disorder, I did not feel any sense really whatsoever. So you weren't feeling crazy up until then. Like, what can you share? What prompted you to go to the hospital that last time where you finally got labeled bipolar? Yeah, well, so I my dog is whistling. That's a that's a switch. Well, whining, I meant. It just sounds like a whistle. So maybe I'm just daunching the question. Okay, so I was in a relationship with a girl who started started cheating on me,...

...blah, blah, blah, and walked and I walked in. Well, I was having I don't know what I was having with having a some sort of episode anyway, and I walked in on them. You caught thegether. That's so, because now you have like a visual that sucks. Sorry, that happened. Well, you know. Okay, that's a great trigger if people talk about well, just you bipolar get triggered. Well, you know, I don't want to say technically yes, but it sure seems like it from from our perspective. Right, right, yeah, and I mean I guess I reacted pretty badly and kind of got violent a little bit, and so I ended up a proper at old spots to me. But okay, yeah, yeah, well, it wasn't entirely approverate. It was a little bit more than was necessary. I could have just left, but so I ended up in the hospital and doctor looks at me and tells, me, Oh, yeah, your manic right now. I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about. Wow, what do you mean? I'm not bupolar. What are you talking about? He's like yeah, no, you're definitely manic and you're going to stay here for three days. And after that kind of gotten to therapy. And after I was in therapy for a while, that's when they diagnosed me with a borderline as well. That are really take the wind out of your sales here in that. And, by the way, you get three days in our hotel psych ward. That's is I mean comparatively, I think it's not as bad as some of the horror stories that I've heard other people have to go through. Yeah, it's just born. I mean it was, yeah, so boring. I'm like, you're trying to bore me out of here, On't you? You try to make it so bored. I'm just going to say, never mind, I don't have bipolar never sorry, I'm just kidding. It's so boring, Oh my God. And then you're also in there with with, you know, bless them, but you're in there with people that are really sick, like with schizophrenia, and people that are almost bouncing off the walls and talking to themselves, and that doesn't help a person with an emotional disorder at all. Like, I no offense, but that's tripping me out, man. Yeah, no, that definitely kind of they get you started on some meds, like some Sarah Weel or some something. To call me down exactly, it was Sarah. Well, yeah, that's stuff. I had later asked my therapist. I'm like, what is Sarah Whil really she goes. It's basically a rhinoceros tranquilizer. Oh, I'm like, well, that explains it, because that's pretty much what it feels like. I never thought of it that way. Yeah, sure. Knocking me out, though, does it drive you crazy as it does me like that? They can only really focus with bipolar folks on the matic side, any ever. Yeah, I mean that's kind of the only fun I have. And then they take that away and they never cured or or deal with it effectively enough to move on to the depression. At least in my case. It's always been well, let's try a new and it's psychotic. Let's try a new anti convulsive. Let's try I'm like, how about a happy pill? Where's that? I have lots of friends that have happy pills and they seem happy. Wow, why me? And then it seems like a person now that the personality defect comes in and you think the world's after you because only you can't get the happy bill. Yeah, nope. The her part is I think when you have just the bpd and the bipolar, you don't always the symptoms are kind of similar. Sometimes. Yeah, they will. They mingle together like a DNA strand not, I don't yeah, like as a Pun, but I mean just usually I think very visually and when I think of those two disorders I think of DNA or really twisted pretzel or a Gordian nod or something, because they seem...

...to coexist a lot. Yeah, they do, so to tell. And they've confused the Medisin Gang, you know, because people with bipolar disorder often use bpd as the initials for bipolar disorder. It's further complicates the matter and I've gotten called pieces of Shit and all kinds of nasty names for simply sorting that out in facebook support groups and like BP. BP is blood pressure, bed is bipolar disorder. BPD is borderline personality disorder, and they're like like fuck, you fucking know it all. How there you come in here and tell us what's right, like you're on some high horse. I'm like, Oh, this is not a support group. You're hurting my feelings now, yeah, really, Geez whatever. But I'm like an Ari's and I'm also like a in the Myers Briggs of like an EANTJ's tie. So I'm like the exact opposite. For me, I'm like very rare come into a room and just jump into stuff. So I get the blowback, but not in that case, because it's I think it's important to like to be specific, especially in these two cases. Are Not trying to be flipping about it either, but because neither ones really curable. One you can take medicine for the other one you can get therapy for both. You can get there before. But yeah, the personality disorder seems really disturbing. I'm more disturbed about that diagnosis of myself than I am of the bipolar disorder. What about you? Yeah, well, it's a harder one to deal with it because it's more I mean bipolar disorder stigmatize bit boarding. Personality disorder even more so, at least as far as my experience goes, because people always want to put you pitcheonhole you in the you know, the fatal attraction type hole, and it's the yeah, if you tell somebody that you have beatty, better make sure that they are on your side. Oh Man, yeah, they will. Well, because a lot of people read up on it and one of the first specific personality disorders they'll get to after borderline, is narcissism. Is Narcissistic. Yeah, now disorder and then the start thinking, oh, that's right, see, you do act like trump and are like what worded I come from, and not that it's so it's so bad. But that's another thing that that just really trips me out is mental illness in the public pop culture domain. HMM. Yeah, it's like who really has it? Who's jumping on the bandwagon? What do we do about those that kill themselves? There's so many, you know, so many angles. Do you promote a suicidal celebrity because now we can talk about it, or do you think it actually encourages more suicides? There's yeah, there's so many controversial ways to carve that piece up. I don't even know where to begin. Yeah, I know, especially with Chester Bennington. And Yeah, I was just thinking that I watched that concert from last night. It was really good. Oh Yeah, yeah, they shot a concert at the Hollywood bowl with everybody from the Hollywood rock scene was there and they played all their old songs and the audience sang in the end. They sang. All jesters, aren't the whole audience there? It came out so nice, oh my gosh. Yeah, at and it's still up on their website, so it's free. You just watch the whole conversation. Check it out. Yeah, you'll dig it. But that was heartbreaking because that was my like divorce song, like in the end, when I first got divorce or my wife left, being whatever, that was like the song that I was like, that was my sad song, and then it became thus sad song for my divorce. So when it kind of came full circle when he took his own life by suicide, I'm like, Oh, Whoa, that's heavy. Matt and Chris Cornell, that whole thinks. I'm I just have a like a rock background generally speaking. So those...

...were kind of the guys that were five, ten years older than me that I looked up to, and and here they go taking the back door out see you. It's really hard. Yeah, it's hard to talk about sometimes. Yeah, it is, and I don't know whether or not talking about it, I mean talking about it. It's got to be helpful, but is it like glorifying you? They they're already larger than my figures. Is it glrifying to talk about their suicide? You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I totally do, but I'm making any sense. No, I that's where is the line? Like it or can you be on both sides? Because there's scientific data that shows every time you start reporting on more suicides, more suicides occur. Right, that's there. But when somebody that already is a celebrity, you're not going to be able to duck and dodge the TMZ's of the world. They're always going to be out there promoting it. Maybe it is better to take control over the messaging and do your family's suicide the best way you can. You know what I mean, because I know Bennington's wife and his son seemed to be really kind of assertive out there on twitter about the whole thing, and I think that's great and what awesome way to handle grief, you know, with you know, thousands or hundreds of thousands of other people sharing it and sharing their own stories. So it's kind of in the same way what we're doing. We have our own burdens, which happens to be our disorders, and now their burden is the death of a loved one by suicide. So yeah, I guess it gets back down to you can't really knock people for for living out there their thing, their own way. Yeah, yeah, that's true. So what's on the horizon? For Your podcast. You're going to keep doing it. She's doing all right. Huh. Yeah, yeah, and myself. Yeah, that she seemed pretty strong in the video that she did a bit. She talked after after a couple songs. Yeah, anyway. So, yeah, what are you doing with your podcast? Like what's on the horizon? You're going to keep having more guests and sharing more stories. Yeah, well, I think that, like having guess, is going to be my focus, or it's going to I'm going to try to make you make it my focus, as long as people, when it come talk to me and and then just sharing a little bit of current events. I think that's where I'm going to stay with it, because I think like the personal stories are I go back and forth, or like I feel like they help people my you know, letting other people know that they're not alone and things like that, and then sometimes I wonder, though, is it it's helpless? I think it is, like I guess. Well, here's the thought about it, because I think you're right. I think it is very helpful to hear that you're not alone, right, and but then how many times will great one to hear that if they're a regular listener? So then I look back, just like the development of some of these facebook groups, and I see that they add like two or three hundred people a day. Not that our podcast add two or three hundred listeners a day, but if they got to that point, then I think it would be okay to be somewhat redundant because you're catching new people all the time that just found out. Like the imagine that hundreds of people or thousands of people each day are just finding out they have bipolar disorder or borderline or you know anything. That's that's amazing to me and I tend to forget that because I've been, you know, trying to manage it for so long that there are always going to be brand new people. They are freaking out like, Oh my God, what I do? Is this medicine dangerous? How will I feel? What happens to my life? So man right, get on a tangent. Yeah, so I would have tried to...

...focus on people, other, other mental health people like ourselves that are creating things tend yeah, I tell you, slipped in the beds really awesome. Yeah, I did. That was by accident. But so you create a podcast and Diane wrote a book and Jason made a movie. So as long as a stay on that tip, that should be pretty interesting, I think. But what? So gonna try to get sorry, go ahead, no, no, go ahead. I'm looking at how much I talk versus how much you talk, and my meter is so much more red than yours, so you have to talk more. Sorry, sorry, I'm sorry, I have too much. I know it's well, that's okay, because we're talking about the the Myers Briggs and it's it's funny because your says almost exactly the opposite of mine. I'm IINFP and you're like, Oh yeah, well, the other start other side of a quadrant. Totally. That's funny. So I'll let you talk. Is What did you want? But that, I was going to say. Yeah, I think that I'm going to try and get some people on the podcast who are like providers, like mental health writers, to and try to balance it out somewhat so that's not always actual professional somebody right Pol there. Yeah, that's a good idea. Like, oh my gosh, my dog. Yeah, the dog agrees. That was the bark of agreement. You think my husband would help me out and runs interference. But no, no, this actually all adds for flavor for the PODCAST, because the talk of the husband helping you, that the dog barking on Q. That's perfect, that's great. That's podcast cold, you know, is it? Yeah, I think so. I don't know, I'm making this up as I go. I just I know what I like to hear at that that's actually real. I almost recorded this podcast from outside where we've got squirrels and bears running around, but there's also a car traffic, so I'm like, yeah, right, but and bears don't make a noise, so I kind of diminished that fun. I was going to ask. Oh, I mean they do, but you don't want to hear it. Yeah, the sound of their teeth on your skull crushing it. Okay, here's something I would be totally remiss if I didn't ask, because I'm me. Okay, so on the bio for that be would it says? I'm not reading it directly, but it says something about you covered talk topics, including sexuality. Let's talk about that because, yeah, nobody ever talks about sexuality, almost in a way like Oh, you crazy people should not be breeding. That's the feeling I get. But tell me, tell me what you guys cover on your show? And have you had some guests that specifically talked about that? I haven't. I have somebody on deck who is a mother to two kids. Who are you who are gender fluid. So that, I think, is going to be my part sexuality topic. That's going to be interesting. How old are the kids? Do you know? One is in college now. I think she's twenty and the other one, I believe, is fifteen or sixteen, something like that. That should be fascinated because I was just talking about yeah, the Wakowski brothers to my friend, you know, the guys who made the Matrix, who both are now women. They both transferred. I found that amazing. It's really interesting. Yeah, so like wow, is it environment? Is it? Is it, you know, genetic makeup for for then I think definitely some genetics in there. But I'm no professional, but it's gonna be some genetic component to it.

You know, I have so many some genetic, just bro Dude kind of friends and the only way I can explain it to them is like out of a freaky Friday movie and I'm like, dude, lay down on the bed now, imagine you woke up with boobs and a vagina, and they're like like me now. I'm like like you now, your penis is gone, you've got a vagina, you got boobs. What do you do next? I'm like exactly, imagine waking up like that every fucking day, man. And because they're like oh well, that's different, I'm like how's it different, dude, and like well, I'm bored this way, and they start to get lost in some logic. Less are argument. So anyway, that should be fascinating. I look forward to here in that one. Yeah, yeah, I think so. And you know I'm bisexual, so that's kind of I'm buy everything. So that's part of what I'm trying to hope to cover a little bit. Just like, yeah, Inter section of Sexuality and Mental Health and and all of that. It is because it all kind of leads to that term that I love called neuro diverse, and I think they're all kind of the same way. We just looking at life differently doesn't inherently make us bad, and I'm not entirely sold on the idea that looking at life differently means we have a disorder either. So that I'm always going to bat for that idea, like well, just because those people say we have a disorder. All all conclude that bipolar is a good adjective for the way I feel when my moods swing, but I'm not sold that that feeling is necessarily a bad thing or not an evolutionary step in the human kind of existence. Maybe, maybe we're advanced, I don't know. Just because they haven't caught up, why are they calling US disordered? You know, I love getting in that kind of philosophical ideal. So yeah, I I think. I think about it sometimes like is, as far as like survival goes, I feel like people who are more sensitive or who, like us, have have more emotions. I guess I don't know. Yeah, I think repressive to their surroundings are probably, you know, better equipped to survive and a prehistoric type world where we didn't have cell phones and starbucks and all that. Right. Yeah, it's like the opposite. Our skills are good for the opposite of capitalism, in the capitalist world, right, our skills are like but yeah, I think you're right. And the way I likened it is like a bipolar disordered brain. It's kind of like a very sensitive scientific device that looks awesome in a room. It's super sensitive. It has a wider range of all these things, but you can't really take it outside and use it in the real world because you'll break it. All the all that dynamic energy in the real world will actually break this very sensitive and valuable device called the bipolar brain. Anyway, yeah, I know, I kind of get I like it to look at it. Well, I like to think that we're kind of superheroes, that we just haven't figured out how to harness it yet. We should. There should be like a Xmen Academy for people with certain mental disorders, if not all of the right disorders. Yeah, and then we could find out what's truly disorder and what's not. So, you know, give a few years with nanotechnology, AI development in the medical fields and all that sort of thing and we might get to the bottom of this eventually. So, you know, then we could stop using cartoon memes for our podcast twitter accounts. Yeah, could be certain CAPES and lead hearts.

That's funny, cool, cool. All right. Anything else you want to talk about? I don't think. So. You got anything to promote? I'm good. I think you should promote your twitter handle more. I do have a twitter. It's at that B word one, the numeral one, not spilled out but one. And then I have my podcast, that B word, and you can find that pretty much everywhere, their podcasts. So, yeah, you got up into the ITUNES, into that. Who Do you use? The hose, got in the Itunes, got in the stitcher. HMM. Who Do you use to host your podcast? Oh, I use a blue host and then I use wordpress. Oh yeah, yeah, it's complicated. Yeah, you're pretty tecntical, but that's complicated. It's yeah, it's complicated enough to turn a lot of people away. So good for you. That's yeah, not the simplest way to go. And it looks good, sounds good. Let's filly. Actually it's more satisfying. So I guess it would be more filling, cooling or I don't know. Well, I'd like to check in with you in a few weeks to see how things are going. I really appreciate you coming on the show and I appreciate your podcast and I look forward to the upcoming episode with the Gender Fluid Kids. Yeah, I'm really open forwarded to it too, and will be a good episode. Cool, cool, I'm hoping to learn enough. I'm hoping to learn a lot myself. So yeah, that would be great. So excellent. Okay, come back at any time and we'll get this broadcasted out to the twitter world and we'll start sharing about because I'm really like to get some crossover audience happening and I think it's great. I think we started roughly about the same time, like after summer, right, I think so. I think you might have had been a week a little bit before me. Yeah, put your Beta upside out before it then. Yeah, now that's really neat. So it's cool to watch each other grow. I appreciate that. Yeah, awesome. Okay, well, cool. Well, tell the husband and kids high, tell the dog. We appreciate the input and we'll talk to you real soon. So thanks again for coming on by polar style. All right, thank you. Cool. So I would I'll cut there. We're done, but I don't know if I stop the record, but I'll probably hang up on you. But that's cool. That's awesome. Yeah, so that explodes a lot. So, yeah, you few are the opposite of me. What's your son signed then? Like your astrology? Yeah, Leo, Oh, no, we were matched. There were both fire signs. I'm at areas. Yeah, that that explains that part. Okay, well, good. So cool. That's why your leader, that's why you put the podcast together. You're like a Leo. You're like I'm in charge of some shit over here. My Kids Mom was Leo. My roommate currently is a Lilo. My best friend in life was a Leo. Good Company. I never met it. Introverted Leo, though. It's weird that you're I in. Yeah, it is weird. M Yeah, can't help it because I've tried to. I've tried to keep taking that test over the years the hope it would change, because I want to be an introvert. But nope, I'm just a shy extrovert with an anxiety disorder. That's all says. It's the worst of all worlds. Yeah, all right, I don't know. Maybe I'm not in for it, maybe I'm just always anxious, but maybe just a bad test taker. Yeah, that could be hit. Yeah, yeah, awesome, awesome. If you liked what you've heard, subscribe on Apple Podcast by Itunes and join us at my color stylecom. Thanks Bill. It's.

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