John | Podcasting
John | Podcasting

Episode · 4 years ago

Wild Stallions and The Art of Emotions; Borderline and Bipolar Disorders Combined

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Becky from That B-Word podcast stops by to help John Emotions test some new podcasting software and give some shout-outs to their current favorite social media followers. They also discuss entertainers with Bipolar-related shows and movies. During John's overdubbed Intro segment you'll hear sirens. He explains the sirens after the closing credits. This episode also announces the launch of John's second podcast The Art of Emotions on Apple Podcasts.

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Hey, what's up? Thank you for letting me back in your head again. I appreciate it. If you are subscribing, that's awesome. See Lots of downloads and that means somebody's listening and you or one of those people. So killer. This is kind of a bonus episode. So what I was doing? I've always kind of been torn between the bipolar style just focusing on bipolar alone, and me having an outlet all these noises, sirens. I'm in downtown San Francisco, by the way, so I've got my slack binging over there and there's a fire truck apparently stopping close by anyway. So I've been torn with producing the bipolar style show and focusing only on bipolar because one of the reasons I wanted to have a podcast was so I could get things off of my chests, regardless of what they were about, and sometimes I find the bipolar style context a little too limiting. So what I'm going to do is start another show just called the art of emotions, you know, like John Emotions and the arts of emotions. That's going to be a lot shorter podcasts, probably a lot more frequent. So if you tune into this podcast for bipolar information. Excuse me, if you tune into this podcast for bipolar information, awesome. Keep doing that and I will start to focus even more on things very specifically to bipolar. If you listen to this show because you like to hear me Yammer about then maybe go to Johnny emotionscom and listen there to my daily podcasts. That's also on itunes and spotify and all that other stuff. So you can either listen to buipolar style for bipolar stuff, or if you just want to hear me Yac and talk and chatter and rant and rave, go over to itunes and look forward the art of emotions. Cool, all right. So to get to that point, I needed to test out some software that would let me, you know, talk on my phone and actually broadcast the podcast. That makes sense. Yeah, let's be broadcast a podcast from my telephone and when I'm at home I can also do live podcast like stream straight out, so people can comments and we can chat while I'm actually pushing the audio out through the Internet. Anyway, Long Story Short, I needed some help testing this particular software, and who better to help me then my internet twitter friend Becky from that B word podcast. So she does a podcast about borderline personality disorder, bipolar and the various things that are attached to those disorders. We started our podcast around the same time. So while we're all kind of part of a same little click on twitter, I guess, if you will. Yeah, that's pretty new. So she helped me test the software and we did these like three fifteen minute increments and they actually turned out pretty cool. So I'm just going to drop them here and let you listen to this as a kind of a background podcast. Let me stop for a second. Let this Siren Pass. Oh wait, it didn't pass, it stopped. It's right downstairs. That's exciting. Anyway, maybe I should go downstairs and take a look. So I'll let you listen to these podcasts. It's only now. It's online by this stylecom yes, join emotions with boybo style. This is becky from that B word podcast, and this is johnny emotions from bipolar style, and we wow, sion. All right, thanks for joining us from around the world. And we were trying to think of like will let's let's do your podcast and then my cast podcast, and then we'll say and we're here to like pump you up and but we needed to do something better than that and she goes yeah, like like wild stallions are like yeah, so we didn't come up with anything better than wild stallions. If you have something better, you know, let us know what that should be if we do these podcasts again. Or will just be better than wild stallion? I don't think anything will just perfect that as we do it now. I was just a little guitar riff under there. Oh wait, they just heard the guitar riff, because I'm definitely dropping that shit in under our audio just now, for sure. Oh wait, do your listeners hear you curse, because I don't think you curse on your show, do they? Well, I don't not. I don't not curse on purpose, but it's nick. It's got the explicit tag. So okay, okay, St but all rights not often. Yeah, yeah, I didn't want to have to put you through more work than you have to do now.

That's just which is kind of the nature of this particular podcast. This might even be like a bonus episode in my list. I don't know how you're going to list it on yours. In the trash can. Maybe it's like no, this is not going on. That B word at all absolutly put it out as an episode. So, but we were to Becky and I were talking about the different ways we make podcasts and I'm just currently testing some new software that will let me do really short podcast like thirty second podcasts, from my telephone. This is not one of those, but this is the same software. So, anyway, we just want to test out the skype function and Becky's always been a gracious host and, Guess Right, I try to be. Yeah, we had it started our podcast at the same time. Yeah, we did, and it's pretty it's pretty cool, saying everybody kind of develop at the same time and get new listeners and feed off each other shows. It's fun. It isn't Amal community. It's like the new school. There's an old school and now we're the new school. Yeah, because the old school doesn't let us in. I noticed it's like the seniors don't let the freshman out of the little freshman fucking campus area. You know, you're stuck on the freshman quad and the seniors like Nah, fucking freshman, and like what are you talking? A high school? Yeah, many, many big high schools anyway. So yeah, but it is fun to like eighty. Sorry, go ahead. Yeah, Know How many people? Eighty people in your class. Eighty people in my class. Yeah, Oh Dang, that is little. And that was Ohio as well. Yep, that's like the Ohio that John Cougar, melon camp kind of things about. Oh yeah, this is like deep red state. How do you like that down in the Corn Fields Ohio? Do you like it? You sound so developed. I'm saying that to be like facetious or anything, but I mean you sound very worldly, like a person that would live in San Francisco here, like I guess the the Internet makes things so you can be as cultured as you want to or not, and you've chosen to be cultured. Well, I listened to a lot of podcasts out of California. So do what ones to you? Oh yeah, that was the other thing about this show is we're going to like talk about the value of so social media and networking and other podcasts definitely come into that are there's some good well, I don't even want to say mental health podcast, because a lot about what our show is, and maybe your show as well, is like how do you live with the mental disorder? It's not just about the disorder, but like as a as a person with the mental disorder, I mean, do certain things and I always find it cool when other people are into the same stuff. So what kind of podcasts are you listening into right now? Well, we're talking about like kind of the West Coast type podcasts. There was one I was listening to for a while called in Taro Bang. I'm not actually sure if they're putting out new episodes. I haven't listened in a while, but they're kind of they talked a lot about the same sort of like mental health issues, gender quality issues, things like that. How do you how do you say that name and Taro? What's the last part? Bang, B Ang and Taro Bang. Yeah, like, okay, like funking on the head, Bang, like a gun or something like. In Taro Bang it's the word for a kind of I can't think of the word, like punctuation mark. That it's the cross between an explanation, exclamation point and a question mark. Wait, there's a there's a part, there's a character that represents those two or something in between them. Yeah, well, that's was called an internal Harrowbang and you'll see it. Yeah, Oh shit. Okay, I'm just sure this society before we digressed too far. When I was a kid in high school, I played in a band called panic and I didn't know how to express it anywhere. I wanted people to think of it in a certain way, so it had the exclamation point and the question mark, but I didn't know there's a character that meant both of those. That's totally cool. Oh Yeah, yeah, it is pretty cool. And Taro Bang podcasts. Yep, and I think that's type disc in and Travis mcelroy, I think. Do you that one? And let's see what else do. I was not of California, I think. Think. Oh No, Ross and carry's based out of California. They're pretty amazing. What are they talk about? Love them, they are their tag a client is a investigate spirituality, French science and claims that they paranormal. So they basically go through and like well, for example, one of the investigations they did recently was they went to scientology. I mean, I'm not going to get you killed for saying that. And why? No, fuck no, I win every time against those fucking idiots. Okay, good. Yeah, they did like...

...like went to scientology and started all the classes and things and kind of was like we're reporting on what they were doing there. That's fun and it was a lot of fun. Yeah, yeah, it's really cool. They're so silly. Yet just to what what Becky was saying, I think I probably talked about on our podcast a while back. But anyway, I used to work for a traditional company out in the world, you know, manufacturing company that had turned out was run completely by scientologists and I didn't know that until I like needed to get paid the commissions as a salesperson and they didn't want to pay. So anyway, I ended up having to sue them. And that was part of the issue. was that they had this kind of glass ceiling. I don't know what the right element to use for their ceiling would be. Not Glass, but some kind of weird ass material, space age material ceiling that you can't functorium. Yeah, yeah, right, exactly. So all of the management every and they had this huge room full of these books with the I think it was called the wise business management theory or something. Was Like Encyclopedia Britannica of what Ron l Ron Hubbard things you're supposed to do in business. Basically Super Weird Anyway. So but, and I'm not throwing scientologists under the bus per se any more than any other religion. I think you're all wacky. I just think you're they're all nuts. I appreciate if, but just the same, the things I use for myself to heal myself and to feel wanted and needed on the earth are they're very unique to me. So I don't really want not religion too much. I just it's so outer space to me. It doesn't matter if it's like scientology or Christianity. It's it just doesn't matter to me. Yeah, now, I never really found much use for religion. I wish I did. Actually, I wish that I found some SOLAC in it, but I just don't. It will know any sense to me. It's not the faith. I like faith. I like the idea of hope, I love all of that. What bothers me are fake religious people, because, if I like, I would go to a Buddhist temple here in town, or I can sit in the pews at St Patrick's Cathedral alone and that's very meditative. I like the feeling. It's really interesting. But when you start meeting people that are in these various religions, they become so judgmental of everything and then the whole bit about mental health being a more of a spiritual problem than a science problem. That is so dangerous and that's really driven me away from Church in general, I guess. Right. Yeah, unfortunately, there's still people out there who would rather say that you're, you know, somehow spiritually a sinner or right is, that's stir something. Oh, you're mentally ill. Oh, how many sex partners have you had? Like that's they go right there. How many sex partners have I had? What the sex causes? Like, you know, irrational, I have feral sex has. Yeah, yeah, the apparently that was a thing. I'm reading, still reading that book infectious madness. It's amazing and it just it kind of goes back to the history of the church versus the scientific community. who gets control of the mental illness people? And it's always been a it's been a wrestle. You know, the science and the pharmaceutical people are like, nope, it's medicine, we want them at all costs. Yeah, the church is like wait, slow down, we can pray away the crazy and you know, so either way, like, Oh wait, I'm stuck in the middle, cal gone, take me away. Yeah, yeah, so, wow, okay, I'm watching. The software we're using says we have five minutes. So that's perfect because my podcast listeners love short bursts, because I guess I'm a spas and you're like the opposite and smooth and mellow, and you had a good point when you were talking to joe the other day and that you are one of few voices that have that tone, because there are a lot of dudes, apparently they are like yeah, I could do a podcast and typically, like most of podcast, is white males. So it is it is cool having your voice out there and here you hear that idea. Siren. Okay, I live in the shady part of town. It's pretty shady. Wait until you see some of the videos I've taken here. Oh my goodness, I even I'm up on Youtube. I will when I can contextualize them a little bit. It's because I'm not trying to mock the people I'm videotaping or recording. I mean, yeah, and I don't want to. I don't want any racist comments or anything like that or you know, those people should do this this for that. I mean, it's just, it's just, it is what it is. I live literally around the corner from a police station and there's high crime right in front of my doorstep. You know what I mean? It's yeah, just you want to see the wild west, take a look at this. When Donald Trump makes fun of, quote unquote, inner cities, he's making fun of this, but I like it. I don't know why he's making fun of it. He'should check it out some time. Man...

To do you need someone shout out some twitter shoutouts? I do, okay, because here's the thing, like, a lot of people on twitter are really helpful and I think they're always they're I don't know, I just like to recognize people, right. Yeah, so there's a lot of really cool people on twitter. Like, do you have some corner that we are in? Right, right, you have some favorites. I'm going to go and let me pull up mine. Who just people that? Yeah, you know what I do, and this click. I Love Sarah Fader. She's awesome. I love her twitter. Oh, Yad, yeah, I like her. Things stand out to me visually and she has she uses weird letters, Sarah Fader does. Yeah, yeah, and he's always be treating fin birds, which is hilarious. Is She wait, where do you go to find this. See, I feel like an old person where I'm like who am I following? But well, here's the thing. I didn't like a twitter check and I had like ninety nine percent real. I had like one fake follower, which I was happy with because I I prune these followers back pretty hardcore, like I don't really fall follow any brands back because I don't want to adds in my stream anymore. Yeah, there are, and I try to make sure that their twitter name matches their handle, so it's like, okay, that's probably a human, which is funny because it's a lot of people that are not mentally ill that seem like real humans that follow. Sometimes that's really interesting. Yeah, we're well, I guess, but like us, maybe they're. Maybe they are, but they're not out, so to speak, right, they're not tweeting about it or anything like that. Yeah, exactly, I have. They think that to us, the professionals, not just the the professional loudmouths. Here's what I did. So I go and follow people that have bipolar in their name. So speaking, bipolar is a new one. That's a good one. Mm Oh, you know who's really actually if you have bipolar disorder and you're not following Maria Bamford? You got to follow her because she is like not only person that has suffered with the disorder, but she's told her story in a way that lay people can understand. And also, was it going to say, oh, she's like one of us? I mean she's really in from what I can tell, from what she retweets, is really progressive and like not afraid, even as a celebrity, to retweet hard things. And I'm like, Whoa, that's that's all right. So not. I'm it's not just I'm onnern nuts because I'm onner nuts or anything. I'm stand. Did you know what hear this term stand? It's I didn't. I didn't know. It was from the Minem Song, but I didn't know in the Minem Song he used the term stand for Stalker Fan. Yeah, I didn't know that until like three weeks ago. I'm like her dirt, I'm late, dumb. Wait, I don't this is going to go too short. Can we do two to fifteen minuters? Yeah, okay, this is this is going to run out of time and like thirty seconds because I'm just on this little small plan here. But again, like I said, it's a test spread's gonna Upload them separately. Yeah, they'll be two different MPTHREES. This one's counting down to like twenty seconds. Do What do you? What do you? Yeah, this, so this is like the commercial break of the podcast. All Right, folks, were at the fifteen minute mark. The weather is forty eight degrees in rainy what's it like where you are right now? Is Cold as fuck. It's cold as fuck over there. We're Becky is in Ohio and we're going to go downtown to the same Patrick. Stay pread. Will catch you right back here in about two seconds. Style on cheese five following on twitter. joyless. Excuse me, as bad quality. Docom oh, we're back. Hey, we're wild stallions near earn here. What's up? It's John for bipolar style, and that's he from. That be word, all right, that be word. PODCAST, as I like to say, be cubed, borderline, bipolar and beautiful. There you go. I saw your little tagline there. I was listening to your podcast with Mr Bipolar Joe. I want, I'd like to do a podcast with him. He brought up some interesting points, both about marijuana and about family court. I guess would be the best way to say that. So if anybody's interested in those things, check out that be word podcast with Mr Bipolar Joe, and he's real fascinating to talk to you. I like his accent. Yeah, and I think I think he should connect with, if he's not already, somebody I'm I follow called Neuro rebel, I think that's her name. She's a big time into she's like what we are, but for the autistic community, okay, or for the community of people with autism. I've read an interesting thing the other day that some s scientists for a minute there about last year, as...

...recently as last year, had come to the conclusion like wait a second, autism isn't really a disorder, it's a distinct just kind of person it's just a personality type. People Act that way. And it was super controversial, but mostly because a lot of the data kind of indicated that it's just it's just the way of living. But then the other folks came back and showed new science and said Nope, Nope, it's still a disorder. Anyway. Yeah, when bipolar Joe was talking about autism in his day life, instantly recalled the crossover on twitter from some of the different mental health alliances mental health activists. Some of US share empathy, I guess, with others, and autism. Autism is one of those things I shared empathy with and it's pretty cool. So, yeah, Mr Bipolar Joe is one of the guys I think you guys should follow on twitter. Ie, yeah, he's awesome. Don't that. You're your it's my new fiber guy. Yeah, his name's your stuff. You want to try to spell Yoursta? Okay, I'm going to go with e. You are St H. that's pretty pretty good. It's it's Jay zero zero ste who your stuff. Yeah, that's not close and I don't even think zero zero is the right characters. They just don't have those characters in this world. Anyway. I said give it your best shot, man, make it sound more international, boy, Polish Stil. It worked. Yeah, right, it's kind of fun. I like that. Oh, remind me, aims aimes is great person to follow. Oh yeah, he games is a good twitter to follow. I like. I like her. And so, just just briefly, if you listening, and you and you are listening, we're in your head right now, just go to bipolar. I mean go to either bipolar style or that be words bought twitter stream and you can follow along there, because I honestly like I don't know if Mr Bipolar Joe, I don't know what his actual handle is and aims, and not sure her candle is. I think it might be MR BY POLO JOE or Mr I'll spell that, will bep. No, that's his eating well, yeah, but I mean you get it, Mr Bipoli. Yeah, if you guys know how to use twitter, just go to twitter and poke around at either of our streams and look for these. And if you don't, but then why not? Yeah, why not? My twitter has picked up a lot once I quit facebook at the end of the year. Yes, like it's a lot easier just to focus in one place, and now basically I focus on either twitter or the slack channel. Bipolar party that we're in, which is pretty funny. I think that will be net asn't know. By the way, that's pretty awesome. Yeah, it was going. I tried it on a couple other platforms over the past, you know, eighteen months or so, and I just I know and like slack, so I figured if I'm going to be there anywhere anyway, why why start another platform anyway? Yeah, reality and positivity. That's and our mental health. She's really nice. She always forwards people's Nice messages. She's very positive and uplifting because, like, I'm kind of a Dick on twitter. So, but I mean, you hear my tone. I'm like, I'm not an actual Dick, I just kind of prickly. I guess us right, but you hear the tone of my voice and generally speaking, I'm kind and I'm just I just like to be provocative and kind of be an ass whatever. So that's my tone. But some of these people are genuinely really kind. Yeah, unpacked sparkle, you know, and I'm a sparkle, is great. Yeah, so he's great because he's proudly gay and bipolar. He's a widower and he just flaunts it. So I love that and that's what people love about him too. So, unpacked sparkle, big shout out to you. I do you follow Amelia? Know How to see easy the strange? Hold on, let me see, I'm going to go there now. Daisy. Yeah, she's really she's great. She loves yeah, we follow each other. Yeah, with a little anchor. There's a lot of positive stuff. I really I'm into her twitter all the positivity. Yeah, see, I get I get caught up because I accidentally a lot of people in my stream retweet things that are political and then I end up accidentally following the fucking political account and then every week or two I have to go trim out all the political things because then my my bipolar style stream becomes to anti gun this week or raging against trump that week. I'm like, oh now they don't want to hear all that Shit. Yeah, anyway, just I'm on it. I'm trying to. But we got a shout out to Diane Harwood with a lot of yeah, Diane, Dy Annie. She has been kind of what do you call it when you're up in bed, strung up, hung up and bed whatever they ate up. That's it. Late, late up. Yeah, I'm throwing up in bed's got a little bit of a different connotation. Yea, she had a broken jaw. So will...

...miss her and for a little while longer, but hopefully she gets back on her blog. She's a great person to follow. Yeah, that move are is Eric Check? Oh Yeah, yeah, I don't think he likes me, but I like him, so whatever. I don't I don't think he likes the way I talk about bipolar. I'm too cavalier and flippant with the terms I use. Yeah, maybe, and also I'm just very into, you know, the meaning of words totally, and I'm very I appreciate that too. We just see different words different way. But yeah, Surez spell that so people can find that. It's Er easy, Schek. Cool, cool, and he's also got a youtube channel, so he's very active and he reminds me of like unpacked sparkle. That that's kind of his market. Yeah, dig it. See, I know you can't fire. Can't please everybody. I bipolar on fire. That's a good one. I follow to it's funny. I have a lot of borderline people that are in my community. To do you well, you do, because yourself have proclaimed borderliner. Yeah, yeah, that borderline guy. I'm trying to find his handle. I can't find it, but that fellow his twitter. It's that borderline line. Cool, HMM, I like one of it's easy to find like that. Once you that's that's the other thing that kind of trips me out right is, I think we were talking about it at the beginning of the earlier podcast just now, kind of the anonimity bit. Like yourself, Mr Mr Bipolar Joe and me. We're all kind of anonymous, right. We hide behind our icons. So what's your opinion of people that are full on like this is what I do, here's my face. You know, I think it's I mean it's great. I think that it's great people feel that they can do that and it's still surviving the real world, especially capitalism, where they judge that the stigma is so strong that. Yeah, I always wonder how people that are not famous for things, like like Adam ants or Russell brand or Maria Banford or somebody like that. It's like Oh, with they're famous for something else and they also bold enough to say, Hey, by the way, I'm fucking I have bipolar disorder. Yeah, so I rectal brand, he's so great. Do you follow his Youtube? I haven't seen it for a while. I don't follow a lot. I just I don't know. I like made a conscious effort to live out in the real world and people think like, Oh, you're better than us, you don't use Youtuber TV, but I'm I fucking hell of use Youtube and TV. I just it's just like a like a manic person. I just watch a random video of I have a pen I have an apple. I mean, I just watch some weird shit, right, and that's it. Then I'll go away outside and so, but I'll watched Russell Brandon when some of his videos reached kind of the fevered pitch that get shared around youtube anyway. But yeah, yeah, great. Oh, I like the fact that all those people I just mentioned are very articulate. They can kind of convey a principle or a point really clearly to a person that's healthy and make the person that's healthy think, oh, bipolar people aren't so crazy after all. Right, yeah, yeah, it's good to have people that can do that. Yeah, we need a few of them. If I'm struggle with that. So, yeah, I'm glad some moll that's the thing. I was reading about label theory. There's a thing called label theory where, I mean basically you become what people call you. So I always worried the most about people newly diagnosed with something like borderline or bipolar disorder, because I think it fucks with their head a little bit and all of a sudden they think, Oh, I'm dying, I'm dead. Yep, I've got stage four bipolar. It's over. Yeah, and I'm just like no, man, you're the same person you were yesterday with more clarity. That's all. So take that for what you will, but basically you're no different than you were yesterday. You just have more knowledge. So you're not. Yeah, you're not anymore sick because you got labeled. You just more knowledgeable. Yeah, so, I mean you have to know what something is before you can fight it or treat it or however you want to look at it. Yep, Yep, yeah, you can't fight a an enemy that you don't know. So exactly. So, yeah, go if you ever feel crazy, like if you're listening to this and you haven't been diagnosed, not, not, you back you obviously we already know what's wrong with you now, just playing and but I mean it's a new people that find the show randomly and like are just wondering if you have some kind of disorder. There's no, well, not. I take it back. There is some shame, but it shouldn't be internal. It shouldn't be on you. I'm saying there is a stigma and some of the fears you have about being labeled might be true. Right, would you? Would you concur on that? I mean, because it's definitely stigma does exist. Yeah, but that's no excuse to deny yourself that knowledge about yourself. Like, if you think you might be feeling crazy, just go find out. Maybe you have something, maybe there's something wrong with your brain.

It's not you. You didn't have sex too many times. It's not a moral dilemma, it's a brain disease. Yeah, and I mean there's so much support, at least in the online area that I follow it. You can always find somebody to talk to you if you're feeling overwhelmed or so like. Oh, speaking of the people that are outspoken under their own names, electro boy USA, Andy Berman, he's good. Oh yeah, but bipolar activists. He's just at the electro boy USA over on. Do you ever go to twitter? I'm droop. Do you ever go over to instagram? Not much. I don't do much on it. There's some funny ones of ore there. There's like halfway to Hannah. She's a bipolar activists. There's the bipolar Barbie. She's a bipolar activist. And you know, they're pretty bold. They might not, I mean I don't actually know either one of their real names, but who cares? You know they're using their real faces and speaking their truth, telling the story. It's kind of cool. It's even, to me, more bold on Instagram, where you actually have to show your face, because I'm a big old coward and I hide behind my smiley face guy. But you know, to each his own. Yeah, there's aims. Oh, so aims. Hi, hi, aims. Her her twitter is aims. Can Do ames, can do with the K Ka and Doo. And Yeah, she's always around like whenever I'm like. You can just tell, like on twitter, when people follow you, by what they like and the way they reply. If they're genuinely nice, people like yeah, how fast they reply. If you're in need, some people are like Oh, and they'll say the right thing. So aims is one of those people. DIG It. And I'm a good friend ANICA. That's who I stay within New Orleans and Louisiana, street fort and whatnot. Yeah, Sonnica, that was great. Overrun by dogs, but I think overrun. I think he's a political guy. So sorry, buddy, I like a speaking of animals, I am Mo show. Do you follow him? Oh, oh my God, he's that. It's just cats. It's all in his cats. I'm going over to the SPCA today literally, I plan my bite, my bus route. I have to get around the fucking St Patrick's parade somehow, but I'm hopping on a bus to go to the SPCA to look at kiddies today. I think I want to get one. I thought about dogs, right, but with dogs in the city you got to walk them and when you walk them around this neighborhood you're walking them on the germs and then you're walking them back into your house and then they jump on your bed. You See. Yeah, this especially. Yeah, I did the infectious madness book about germs and how they can cause some mental illnesses. Yeah, I couldn't read that. I mean, wait, see how you're doing it. What we got like five seconds literally. You want to do it again? Sure, I don't care. Yeah, hi, this is becky from that B word podcast, and this is johnny emotions from bipolar style and weirdly, are wild stallions. Now, that was that was not our best. That was not I'm not or worse, but they haven't heard the practice ones and that's true. Okay, so to explain now why those three fucking podcast here is we're testing some software. We're testing some software called speaker, which I did, which will ultimately allow me to podcast from my phone from anywhere for ten seconds at a time. There's a fifteen minute limit on this thing, and apparently becky and I can't limit ourselves to fifteen minutes at a time. We just talk too much. Yeah, this is the third, third one around, which is is great. So typically we're like Yin and Yang to each other. And Yeah, but your eye, and what's kind? Am I your an introvert? Yes, yes, I'm an extrovert. See, that's it, but actually that that makes me y right, that's I had to look it up. The last time I tried to make the metaphors online because I didn't want to look like an idiot. And but in this context I don't want to assume that one of us is the light and one is the dark either. So let's just leave it at that. It's cool, I'm cooling the dark. Well, I'm yeah, I'm cool with being the ASSHOLE. Just the like loud, fucking who'sh that guy would shut up. Guy, YEA Mannah. People subscribe to your podcast. A, here you talk. What else do you think they do it for? I don't I have no fucking idea. I think they're confused, push the wrong button. That like the logo or something like. All right, let's cool logo. Thanks people, but yeah, by pull it. So we're basically just going through, if you haven't listened to the last two episodes, becky and I are going through some just of our favorite twitter people, and that favorite of all time just kind of currently favorite because, you know, what have you done for me lately is top of the mind and really would just scrolling through our twitter and seeing who've been talking to you lately. But there's a lot of a lot of cool stuff out there. Brian Hinkle, he's a new guy. I think he just drowned our our slack group too,...

...if you go to buy any I think so. He asked about it, I think, but he's not using that name. Maybe in slack. I'd have to check. He's my he's one of my listeners. Hey, Brian, how you doing? Wait, is he in slack? Hold on, do do, do, do, do. Maybe he changed his name to norm. Well, decide, I'm just playing. I'm nice you. I thought normal somebody else. Maybe not. Probably. I haven't actually asked. I'm just assuming how people are right now. Man. So also, like have you like generally speaking, for New People, for new bipolar or borderline, but particularly by porter breeper bipolar in this case. Have you noticed any good roles in entertainment projects, movies, film shorts, documentaries, TV series or whatever, that that represent bipolar and not like an accurate light, let's say. I don't care if it's positive or negative, but have you seen any of that that represent by polar accurately to you? Well, I really you got me into Maria Bamford's Oh gosh, I can't remember the name of it now. Lady Dyed Tom you know it? Yep, yeah, lady dyed away. Yeah, yeah, give me onto that, and I really loved it. It's so deep and so rich in detailed. So, Oh yeah, wherever you are, if you sign up for a free netflix trial, just go straight to lady dynamite and watch Maria Banford. If you're aware of Maria Banford, then I'm sure you've already seen it. She's also got another one called, I get it wrong all the time, a stand up called grown baby. I think it's called. Yeah, I was just looking at her twitter page when it's on there she's she's really unique and in that she portrays people with bipolar disorder and actually has it, which is great. It's like hiring a gay guy to play a gay guy in a movie, or a black person to play a black person in a movie. It's neat when you can actually hire the person with the disability to play a person with the disability. Yeah, like, because the other thing that comes to mind is, like Claire Danes. Remember Claire Danes? Oh, yeah, and now she's on homeland. Homeland. Yeah, but what was he on in the s? What was that my so called life? Is that Clar I think so. I just remember. There's a cool band called size fourteen that had an excellent song called Claire Danes Poster, and probably slider in right there. I don't know. You don't. I know. We're gonna fix it in post. That's great. I love that song. Some beer, stay at home and stare at but Claire Days Poster Anyway. So apparently clear days does a marginal job of representing somebody with bipolar disorder. I don't really watch that show. I don't have showtime. Yeah, I'm not really there. I'm not rich. All of rich people showtime cable premium cable money. So who else got? There's not a lot of rippers. Oh wait, silver lining playbook. Yeah, I haven't actually seen that either. Okay, that was reasonable. That was a reasonable depiction of somebody with bipolar disorder, I thought. Oh wait, except the wrong person, I think, was depicted with it. So in the movie the wasn't the dude has it. Oh, I thought it was the girl who did. Yeah, the in my perspective, the girl acts like somebody with bipolar disorder. That's pretty close. The dude just I don't know, I guess he does. But yeah, just check that out. Silver linings playbook is worthy of anybody that's interested in bipolar disorder, just to watch how those people act, how they amp up the situation, how things get like turned up really fast without good reason, that kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, it just everyday life situations, kind of a you know, a year in the life of kind of thing. And it's also a love story, so it's Nice. It's got Christopher. Yeah, yeah, have you heard the of this new movie coming out called UNSANE? Have you seen marcials for that? I saw and of all over Youtube and stuff. Yeah, I saw the trailer, not the like the short trailer, and I've seen the video car hard, like the you know, the advertisement card for it. Yeah, what do you think about that? I'm kind of not I don't think that's really something that I want to see. Let me refresh my memory. It's got. It's a Steven Soderberg film that I'm not into his stuff a lot. He's a little young woman is involuntarily committed to a mental institution where she's confronted by our greatest fear. But is it real or a project of her delusion? Oh, I supposely was this guy who was stalking her. And Yeah, I would like...

...that. That movie would probably make me feel trapped. I would probably have to get out of the theater just because I can't handle my own emotions. But it sounds like a paranoid delusion that I would have, like Oh, yeah, I don't like I don't want to go to the fucking emergency room because they'll keep me there forever. You know. Yeah, I always, like I said, as a kid, I used to like Whoa what if they accused you of something and you weren't, because I think I used to go to like a little weird classes as as a kid, like in second grade we would go learn about Greek mythology. One Time we learned about the Salem witch trials and they had talked about like well, if you were accused, they would tie you up and throw you off the plank of a ship and if you drowned you weren't a which, but if you swam you were a witch, and then they'd burn you at the stake. So that was always in my hand. I'm like, well, you're just fucked if someone accuses you of being mentally ill, because they're either going to, you know, force you to do it that way or that way, but either way their label sticks. Yeah, it's too much nobloy yeah, I don't I don't think I'll be able to see either. It's just gonna this is gonna be terrible. I'm more worried, though. I mean, I don't have to see it if I don't want to, right, but I'm more worried that it's gonna oh yeah, there's a movie last year that was like that. I've yet what it was called, but it was the same type of thing, a split personality one. Was it called Split? Yeah, split. Yeah, did you ever see that? I did not see that one either, for the same reasons. Yeah, I can't I guess I kind of avoid a lot of those kind of movies. Yeah, seen any of the ones we've talked about? The last one I saw that I did like. That had to do with that kind of mental illness. Was Way back, like in the s stick stigmata. was that the one we're just kept forgetting? Shit, no, stigmatto is the one with the Oh yeah, that was that lake ever with the stick matast. Okay, that was satanic possession movie. STIGMATA. Yeah, what was it called? With a guy cut, he had no short term memory, he had a tattoo everything on his body. Momentum, Momento. Yeah, yeah, so I like that. That was clever and that had to do with some kind of mental illness, I guess. But yeah, what about musicians, like did you ever get into the like? Some musicians are pretty outspoken somewhere less. Adam at was like known for that. You seen the AMY winehouse movie? I haven't. Now that's of great movies because it's all home video. It's not there's nothing shot on a pro camera. It's all her and her friends shooting her life and edite really, really well. But what I got from that was she might have a touch of that too. Now I'm like, I can't. I mean it's easy for me to say I'm just the guy talking with the Mike. I'm not a doctor, obviously, but she appeared as a person who was trying to treat her bipolar disorder with drugs. That's what it appears like to me, just as a person who's done the same thing. I'm like, Huh, that looks like looks like a girl version of me. I'm glad I'm not dead. Yeah, yeah, that or she kind of reminds me a lot of Nirvana, Kurt Cobain, to WHO. Yeah, there's a coup that way, really darky documentaries about that too. Some of them include some great scribbles from his own Journal. He use the graphics from his own life that he had drawn to excellent effect. That was great. Oh and trip on this. Okay, what happened? Miss Simon, I think, is the name of this about Nina Simone? Okay, I am not miliar. That's inspiring. If you don't know Nina Simone's work, folks out there outside of America, she was like a black activists back in the S, but also this really influential soul singer, or my guess jazz soul. She had really sultry little timber voice and she was amazing. But what I didn't know about it, because I had just learned of her music through that. What was it was like a bridget fond of movie no way out or something like that, when she played like an assassin. Back in the day. She was obsessed with Nina Simone, her character was obsessed. So back in the S I found out about Nina Simon. Anyway, forward to today. Well, she's definitely bipolar or has bipolar disorder, however you want to say that. Nina Simone. What happened Miss Simone? Definitely check that out because it's interesting to watch from a different perspective of somebody who has bipolar disorder but is also black, who's also a woman, who's a hardcore civil rights activist, and then she ends up marrying like this x White New York Serpico cop dude, and that's that's her guy, and there makes like this team and they tackle the record industry together and the whole thing. It's an amazing story and watching the whole thing it's like, yeah, power to the bipolar people. It's a fun watch. That's a good does them yeah, adamant, remember adamant from back in the day. Bipolar. Yeah, the two that that don't acknowledge it, and this might be something to think about. Whether or not you acknowledged bipolar and public is Elon Musk and somebody likes sting. Yeah, I just heard about Elon Musk. Right, but...

...but he doesn't come out right and say it. He says it in a way that George Clooney doesn't say he's gay. You know, it's like it's like, yeah, it's not important, dread Clooney's gay. Yeah, we people ask George Clooney if he's gay. His answers almost universally it's none of your business, but not because he's gay. It's just like he very firmly believes that it's none of anybody's business about either direction. But it's true. And so I think that people like staying and Elon Musk, although they've alluded to it, we don't know their medical records. They're not outright saying I have bipolar disorders. So it makes you wonder, like, well, it was that their acknowledgements? Are they misusually the words what the way? I thought that Elon Musk was saying it was that it was sort of like a self diagnosis for him, that he thought that right. He hadn't actually gotten diagnosis side. Yeah, but like in how much study did he do on the topic? To Self Diag yes, which, but I mean it's valid. He's yeah, lack of sleep and that drive, super low, low sativity. Yeah, yeah, flight, flights of fantasy or and the grand delusions of grandeur. Let's fly to ours. But look, sometimes that shit actually works. You know, it takes kind of, quote unquote, a crazy person to push society's envelope. And if he is a bipolar disordered person, then blessing man, we can go on like this forever. So, yeah, we probably anyway. Well, we got like I've got a minute thirty left, so this is about to cut off. We've given both both shows, the B word show, that B word show, and bipolar style Stoil, like forty, forty five minutes of content, of completely faceless content. But I appreciate the use loose. What about people like to hear, I guess, talking, and I think it if this sounds as good as it sounds in my ears, people will appreciate the different tones in a podcast. The man, woman tone hmm. Yeah, I think. Yeah, it sounds as as layers of flavor. It's pretty cool. So anyway, I appreciate you time. Thanks for taking time off on St Patti's Day. Enjoy your new color. Thank you. Thanks for talking to me. Tell the wife and kids and you got animals, thanks. If you got animals, tell them all. Thanks for your time. Oh Yeah, I'M gonna go look for Madamal and I will look for a kitty like for the same reasons I just said. Are you going to get a little, little baby one? I'll get whatever speaks to me. Really we're I'm just going to the rescue cages and we'll look around, because I have a certain look in mind, and it doesn't pertain to age or anything, just like how they respond to me, how the how strong their neck is when they push up against my hand when I go to scratch him. There's a lot of little things involved. I've been a cat person most of my life, but I like dogs a lot too. I just don't want a dog in the city for the German reason we talked about. Yeah, yeah, okay, let's you see that. What's definitely an issue. You got a url for your podcast. I do it's that be word at stone fruit media DOTNET. Cool, and I am at bipolar stylecom style on cheese following on twitter. Joys. Excuse me, Hey, you stuck around. Good thinking. All right, so that was pretty fun, right, I thought. So there's neat. I'd like to have a second voice kind of bouncing off mine, give the show a little more context, a little more contour, and I thought it was fun. I paid for the software, by the way, so we don't have those fifteen minute stops at every point. That's great. I'll be using that on Monday when I talked to Becca Lombardo about keep talking MH. And okay, so here's the thing. Before, when I added the little intro bit before the podcast, you heard the sirens. So those sirens did stop at my building. And okay, so the little background. I manage a big building where they basically house all the the lowest rung of society. People are broken and sick and they don't have any healthcare workers or they're just totally forgotten people. Right, so people die pretty frequently and I'm used to seeing dead people, rig and Mortis and that sort of thing. Hopefully their caregiver or adult protective services had checked on them frequently enough so they don't start to sting that it's kind of gross. But we've also implemented some programs since I've got here to wear neighbors check on each other. So anyway, from a property management standpoint, you do the best you can with with the broken old people that are near death. But today was different. When those sirens were down there there was a gal social worker had come to do a...

...welfare check on whatever clients. So what she had found was that he had passed away, which, okay, that's one thing, and so she was by the time, you know, I went downstairs, she had grabbed the dog and she was waiting in the lobby. There's the dog and I'm like, Oh damn, that stinks like if you've ever smelled a dead body who you never forget the smell and it gets instantly up into your sinuses and makes your eyes water and gets your throat. It feels like you tasted is nourly anyway. So I just kind of shut the door grabbed the fan because the last time, apparently this happens, somebody didn't put a fan in the room and it just got stinkier and stinkier because we weren't allowed to break the seal after the police had taken away the body. Not We, but whoever was working here then. Like I said, I'm the new guy here anyway. So we got the fan in the room and waited for the police. So the police we're doing their work and then the corner examiner office guy, he came up. He was doing his work and we had had some his ID and some keys that the social worker had in her hand had given to us. So he said, okay, I need because she had taken off the social worker lady, and we had the dog downstairs in my assistant manager's office waiting for the SPCA. So the police said, okay, can you come upstairs? And you know what the guy looks like, right. I'm all yeah, so let me just can you identify if I go take a picture of his of his face, and I'm sure, of course I'm getting choked up just thinking of the smell. He goes in the room, comes back down the hall, About Twenty Feet Down the hall and says now it's not identifiable, like what the fuck? What does that mean? He brought the other guy that had some kind of quiet discussion and we're back and forth and they wanted to go, you know, they walked back in the room and I'm like, Dude, can I look and he's all, well, you might not want to, but he doesn't know me. I'm curious as fucking like yeah, I totally want to look at like what I want to see, like what is that? What's going on over there? And my man, not sure I wanted to see that, but I'm glad I did because it's so impactful. So here's what happened and I don't know how the report I know what I saw. I don't know what the fucking reports going to show or whatever. But the guy has no next of kin. He's they signed them off as John Doe because he had no face. Yet the face. So what it looks like to me. It happened. And this is what's sad, because I know a bit of the history of the Guy I've I've been here like six weeks or so and I know this particular guy was taken away a couple of weeks ago because of mental health problem and he was kind of paranoid and roaming around the halls with the big old knife, excuse me, freaking people out I'm used to people roaming around with knives, so it didn't really freak me out, but it definitely, you know, something we had to address. His social worker came back. Then he was resistant to any kind of help or going to the hospital voluntarily. So he resisted in the police took him away and anyway, since then he's been back. But I put that into context because of what I saw in the room. Holy Shit, okay, I saw to like helium tanks, look like the kind you'd get at the you know craft store for your helium balloons at a kids party. To those tanks, some rubber tube into a, you know, hefty bag wrapped around his head, it's pretty clear he died by suicide. To me, I'm just thinking myself professional death merchant. I don't know what those guys right in their reports or what's even relevant after the guys passed on, but I'm like wow, that's that's just sad because, as you know, we have a bipolar show here. We talked about mental health all the time on twitter and it's just suicide as a whole different thing. When people die of old age, they just fade away. That, like I said, that happens a lot and we used to see in dead bodies. In this particular case, though, this guy just wasn't a dead body. This guy had taken his own life, I believe, early, just by the other way the room was set up. Here's the shocking part. Not Want to skip forward through this or just go to the next episode or something, because it's Gnarly, not only on the dudes head, where the like white hefty bag kind of thing was wrapped around his neck. So they're the bag was torn open. Like the dog who lived in there was like a corgy sized dog. HMM, maybe was a corgy or Jack Russell Terry or something, you know, something around that that range. I'm just going to say what I think happened. I think the dog fucking tore open, ripped open the hefty bag and ate the dudes face. I've heard of this happening.

I've never seen it in person five feet away, but when the cop let me in there to go take a look and I'm like Whoa, that is fucking gnarly. The dudes fucking head was like eating a way down to his skull. His nose was gone, his eye was out of the socket. You could see his his whole teeth and jawline. And that didn't just happen from the helium inside of a paper bag. The paper bag was definitely ripped and that dog was not hungry. So we had the dog downstairs in the in the office, like the assistant manager's office, and the assistant managers like just real happy. Oh, we take care of the dog. That it. And I come downstairs I'm like, AH, fuck, keep that keep that dog's death mouth germs the fuck away from me. He's been eating face, and she last like a funny, oh, that's funny. Fire Department guy made that same joke, I might ask. No joke. I just came from fucking upstairs. I saw the guy's skull missing his face and that dog ate it. She goes what I'm like, don't give the dog any kisses, not that dog, not today. So man anyway. So are you glad you stuck around for that? Oh, which kind of brings me to the whole point of this past episode. Putting together this other software, I'm going to do much more frequent, shorter podcasts over at John emotionscom. So if you just want to hear my day to day misadventures, that's the place. To Be, and that way I can keep bipolar style, which you can listen to, a bipolar stylecom just more focused on bipolar issues. Sound cool all right, but either way, if you want by polar style stuff, subscribe on Itunes. Same thing John Emotions. The show they're on itunes is called the art of emotions and you can find it directly through the Internet. If you don't want to subscribe through Itunes, just go to Johnny emotionscom cool. Cool, all right, there's my kid texting me, he said and back from college spring break. I'm excited. All right, check it out. Glad you listened and I hope to see you on the Internet's visit me on twitter by polar style or johnny emotions. Take Care, see you.

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