Live from Emo Dojo
Live from Emo Dojo

Episode · 3 years ago

Wild Stallions and The Art of Emotions; Borderline and Bipolar Disorders Combined

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Becky from That B-Word podcast stops by to help John Emotions test some new podcasting software and give some shout-outs to their current favorite social media followers. They also discuss entertainers with Bipolar-related shows and movies. During John's overdubbed Intro segment you'll hear sirens. He explains the sirens after the closing credits. This episode also announces the launch of John's second podcast The Art of Emotions on Apple Podcasts.

---
Send comments to comments@bipolarstyle.com or leave a public voicemail response (377) 944-9333

Hey, what's up? Thank youfor letting me back in your head again. I appreciate it. If you aresubscribing, that's awesome. See Lots of downloads and that means somebody's listeningand you or one of those people. So killer. This is kind ofa bonus episode. So what I was doing? I've always kind of beentorn between the bipolar style just focusing on bipolar alone, and me having anoutlet all these noises, sirens. I'm in downtown San Francisco, by theway, so I've got my slack binging over there and there's a fire truckapparently stopping close by anyway. So I've been torn with producing the bipolar styleshow and focusing only on bipolar because one of the reasons I wanted to havea podcast was so I could get things off of my chests, regardless ofwhat they were about, and sometimes I find the bipolar style context a littletoo limiting. So what I'm going to do is start another show just calledthe art of emotions, you know, like John Emotions and the arts ofemotions. That's going to be a lot shorter podcasts, probably a lot morefrequent. So if you tune into this podcast for bipolar information. Excuse me, if you tune into this podcast for bipolar information, awesome. Keep doingthat and I will start to focus even more on things very specifically to bipolar. If you listen to this show because you like to hear me Yammer aboutthen maybe go to Johnny emotionscom and listen there to my daily podcasts. That'salso on itunes and spotify and all that other stuff. So you can eitherlisten to buipolar style for bipolar stuff, or if you just want to hearme Yac and talk and chatter and rant and rave, go over to itunesand look forward the art of emotions. Cool, all right. So toget to that point, I needed to test out some software that would letme, you know, talk on my phone and actually broadcast the podcast.That makes sense. Yeah, let's be broadcast a podcast from my telephone andwhen I'm at home I can also do live podcast like stream straight out,so people can comments and we can chat while I'm actually pushing the audio outthrough the Internet. Anyway, Long Story Short, I needed some help testingthis particular software, and who better to help me then my internet twitter friendBecky from that B word podcast. So she does a podcast about borderline personalitydisorder, bipolar and the various things that are attached to those disorders. Westarted our podcast around the same time. So while we're all kind of partof a same little click on twitter, I guess, if you will.Yeah, that's pretty new. So she helped me test the software and wedid these like three fifteen minute increments and they actually turned out pretty cool.So I'm just going to drop them here and let you listen to this asa kind of a background podcast. Let me stop for a second. Letthis Siren Pass. Oh wait, it didn't pass, it stopped. It'sright downstairs. That's exciting. Anyway, maybe I should go downstairs and takea look. So I'll let you listen to these podcasts. It's only now. It's online by this stylecom yes, join emotions with boybo style. Thisis becky from that B word podcast, and this is johnny emotions from bipolarstyle, and we wow, sion. All right, thanks for joining usfrom around the world. And we were trying to think of like will let'slet's do your podcast and then my cast podcast, and then we'll say andwe're here to like pump you up and but we needed to do something betterthan that and she goes yeah, like like wild stallions are like yeah,so we didn't come up with anything better than wild stallions. If you havesomething better, you know, let us know what that should be if wedo these podcasts again. Or will just be better than wild stallion? Idon't think anything will just perfect that as we do it now. I wasjust a little guitar riff under there. Oh wait, they just heard theguitar riff, because I'm definitely dropping that shit in under our audio just now, for sure. Oh wait, do your listeners hear you curse, becauseI don't think you curse on your show, do they? Well, I don'tnot. I don't not curse on purpose, but it's nick. It'sgot the explicit tag. So okay, okay, St but all rights notoften. Yeah, yeah, I didn't want to have to put you throughmore work than you have to do now.

That's just which is kind of thenature of this particular podcast. This might even be like a bonus episodein my list. I don't know how you're going to list it on yours. In the trash can. Maybe it's like no, this is not goingon. That B word at all absolutly put it out as an episode.So, but we were to Becky and I were talking about the different wayswe make podcasts and I'm just currently testing some new software that will let medo really short podcast like thirty second podcasts, from my telephone. This is notone of those, but this is the same software. So, anyway, we just want to test out the skype function and Becky's always been agracious host and, Guess Right, I try to be. Yeah, wehad it started our podcast at the same time. Yeah, we did,and it's pretty it's pretty cool, saying everybody kind of develop at the sametime and get new listeners and feed off each other shows. It's fun.It isn't Amal community. It's like the new school. There's an old schooland now we're the new school. Yeah, because the old school doesn't let usin. I noticed it's like the seniors don't let the freshman out ofthe little freshman fucking campus area. You know, you're stuck on the freshmanquad and the seniors like Nah, fucking freshman, and like what are youtalking? A high school? Yeah, many, many big high schools anyway. So yeah, but it is fun to like eighty. Sorry, goahead. Yeah, Know How many people? Eighty people in your class. Eightypeople in my class. Yeah, Oh Dang, that is little.And that was Ohio as well. Yep, that's like the Ohio that John Cougar, melon camp kind of things about. Oh yeah, this is like deepred state. How do you like that down in the Corn Fields Ohio? Do you like it? You sound so developed. I'm saying that tobe like facetious or anything, but I mean you sound very worldly, likea person that would live in San Francisco here, like I guess the theInternet makes things so you can be as cultured as you want to or not, and you've chosen to be cultured. Well, I listened to a lotof podcasts out of California. So do what ones to you? Oh yeah, that was the other thing about this show is we're going to like talkabout the value of so social media and networking and other podcasts definitely come intothat are there's some good well, I don't even want to say mental healthpodcast, because a lot about what our show is, and maybe your showas well, is like how do you live with the mental disorder? It'snot just about the disorder, but like as a as a person with themental disorder, I mean, do certain things and I always find it coolwhen other people are into the same stuff. So what kind of podcasts are youlistening into right now? Well, we're talking about like kind of theWest Coast type podcasts. There was one I was listening to for a whilecalled in Taro Bang. I'm not actually sure if they're putting out new episodes. I haven't listened in a while, but they're kind of they talked alot about the same sort of like mental health issues, gender quality issues,things like that. How do you how do you say that name and Taro? What's the last part? Bang, B Ang and Taro Bang. Yeah, like, okay, like funking on the head, Bang, like agun or something like. In Taro Bang it's the word for a kind ofI can't think of the word, like punctuation mark. That it's the crossbetween an explanation, exclamation point and a question mark. Wait, there's athere's a part, there's a character that represents those two or something in betweenthem. Yeah, well, that's was called an internal Harrowbang and you'll seeit. Yeah, Oh shit. Okay, I'm just sure this society before wedigressed too far. When I was a kid in high school, Iplayed in a band called panic and I didn't know how to express it anywhere. I wanted people to think of it in a certain way, so ithad the exclamation point and the question mark, but I didn't know there's a characterthat meant both of those. That's totally cool. Oh Yeah, yeah, it is pretty cool. And Taro Bang podcasts. Yep, and Ithink that's type disc in and Travis mcelroy, I think. Do you that one? And let's see what else do. I was not of California, Ithink. Think. Oh No, Ross and carry's based out of California. They're pretty amazing. What are they talk about? Love them, theyare their tag a client is a investigate spirituality, French science and claims thatthey paranormal. So they basically go through and like well, for example,one of the investigations they did recently was they went to scientology. I mean, I'm not going to get you killed for saying that. And why?No, fuck no, I win every time against those fucking idiots. Okay, good. Yeah, they did like...

...like went to scientology and started allthe classes and things and kind of was like we're reporting on what they weredoing there. That's fun and it was a lot of fun. Yeah,yeah, it's really cool. They're so silly. Yet just to what whatBecky was saying, I think I probably talked about on our podcast a whileback. But anyway, I used to work for a traditional company out inthe world, you know, manufacturing company that had turned out was run completelyby scientologists and I didn't know that until I like needed to get paid thecommissions as a salesperson and they didn't want to pay. So anyway, Iended up having to sue them. And that was part of the issue.was that they had this kind of glass ceiling. I don't know what theright element to use for their ceiling would be. Not Glass, but somekind of weird ass material, space age material ceiling that you can't functorium.Yeah, yeah, right, exactly. So all of the management every andthey had this huge room full of these books with the I think it wascalled the wise business management theory or something. Was Like Encyclopedia Britannica of what Ronl Ron Hubbard things you're supposed to do in business. Basically Super WeirdAnyway. So but, and I'm not throwing scientologists under the bus per seany more than any other religion. I think you're all wacky. I justthink you're they're all nuts. I appreciate if, but just the same,the things I use for myself to heal myself and to feel wanted and neededon the earth are they're very unique to me. So I don't really wantnot religion too much. I just it's so outer space to me. Itdoesn't matter if it's like scientology or Christianity. It's it just doesn't matter to me. Yeah, now, I never really found much use for religion.I wish I did. Actually, I wish that I found some SOLAC init, but I just don't. It will know any sense to me.It's not the faith. I like faith. I like the idea of hope,I love all of that. What bothers me are fake religious people,because, if I like, I would go to a Buddhist temple here intown, or I can sit in the pews at St Patrick's Cathedral alone andthat's very meditative. I like the feeling. It's really interesting. But when youstart meeting people that are in these various religions, they become so judgmentalof everything and then the whole bit about mental health being a more of aspiritual problem than a science problem. That is so dangerous and that's really drivenme away from Church in general, I guess. Right. Yeah, unfortunately, there's still people out there who would rather say that you're, you know, somehow spiritually a sinner or right is, that's stir something. Oh, you'rementally ill. Oh, how many sex partners have you had? Likethat's they go right there. How many sex partners have I had? Whatthe sex causes? Like, you know, irrational, I have feral sex has. Yeah, yeah, the apparently that was a thing. I'm reading, still reading that book infectious madness. It's amazing and it just it kindof goes back to the history of the church versus the scientific community. whogets control of the mental illness people? And it's always been a it's beena wrestle. You know, the science and the pharmaceutical people are like,nope, it's medicine, we want them at all costs. Yeah, thechurch is like wait, slow down, we can pray away the crazy andyou know, so either way, like, Oh wait, I'm stuck in themiddle, cal gone, take me away. Yeah, yeah, so, wow, okay, I'm watching. The software we're using says we havefive minutes. So that's perfect because my podcast listeners love short bursts, becauseI guess I'm a spas and you're like the opposite and smooth and mellow,and you had a good point when you were talking to joe the other dayand that you are one of few voices that have that tone, because thereare a lot of dudes, apparently they are like yeah, I could doa podcast and typically, like most of podcast, is white males. Soit is it is cool having your voice out there and here you hear thatidea. Siren. Okay, I live in the shady part of town.It's pretty shady. Wait until you see some of the videos I've taken here. Oh my goodness, I even I'm up on Youtube. I will whenI can contextualize them a little bit. It's because I'm not trying to mockthe people I'm videotaping or recording. I mean, yeah, and I don'twant to. I don't want any racist comments or anything like that or youknow, those people should do this this for that. I mean, it'sjust, it's just, it is what it is. I live literally aroundthe corner from a police station and there's high crime right in front of mydoorstep. You know what I mean? It's yeah, just you want tosee the wild west, take a look at this. When Donald Trump makesfun of, quote unquote, inner cities, he's making fun of this, butI like it. I don't know why he's making fun of it.He'should check it out some time. Man...

To do you need someone shout outsome twitter shoutouts? I do, okay, because here's the thing, like,a lot of people on twitter are really helpful and I think they're alwaysthey're I don't know, I just like to recognize people, right. Yeah, so there's a lot of really cool people on twitter. Like, doyou have some corner that we are in? Right, right, you have somefavorites. I'm going to go and let me pull up mine. Whojust people that? Yeah, you know what I do, and this click. I Love Sarah Fader. She's awesome. I love her twitter. Oh,Yad, yeah, I like her. Things stand out to me visually andshe has she uses weird letters, Sarah Fader does. Yeah, yeah, and he's always be treating fin birds, which is hilarious. Is She wait, where do you go to find this. See, I feel likean old person where I'm like who am I following? But well, here'sthe thing. I didn't like a twitter check and I had like ninety ninepercent real. I had like one fake follower, which I was happy withbecause I I prune these followers back pretty hardcore, like I don't really fallfollow any brands back because I don't want to adds in my stream anymore.Yeah, there are, and I try to make sure that their twitter namematches their handle, so it's like, okay, that's probably a human,which is funny because it's a lot of people that are not mentally ill thatseem like real humans that follow. Sometimes that's really interesting. Yeah, we'rewell, I guess, but like us, maybe they're. Maybe they are,but they're not out, so to speak, right, they're not tweetingabout it or anything like that. Yeah, exactly, I have. They thinkthat to us, the professionals, not just the the professional loudmouths.Here's what I did. So I go and follow people that have bipolar intheir name. So speaking, bipolar is a new one. That's a goodone. Mm Oh, you know who's really actually if you have bipolar disorderand you're not following Maria Bamford? You got to follow her because she islike not only person that has suffered with the disorder, but she's told herstory in a way that lay people can understand. And also, was itgoing to say, oh, she's like one of us? I mean she'sreally in from what I can tell, from what she retweets, is reallyprogressive and like not afraid, even as a celebrity, to retweet hard things. And I'm like, Whoa, that's that's all right. So not.I'm it's not just I'm onnern nuts because I'm onner nuts or anything. I'mstand. Did you know what hear this term stand? It's I didn't.I didn't know. It was from the Minem Song, but I didn't knowin the Minem Song he used the term stand for Stalker Fan. Yeah,I didn't know that until like three weeks ago. I'm like her dirt,I'm late, dumb. Wait, I don't this is going to go tooshort. Can we do two to fifteen minuters? Yeah, okay, thisis this is going to run out of time and like thirty seconds because I'mjust on this little small plan here. But again, like I said,it's a test spread's gonna Upload them separately. Yeah, they'll be two different MPTHREES. This one's counting down to like twenty seconds. Do What do you? What do you? Yeah, this, so this is like the commercial breakof the podcast. All Right, folks, were at the fifteen minutemark. The weather is forty eight degrees in rainy what's it like where youare right now? Is Cold as fuck. It's cold as fuck over there.We're Becky is in Ohio and we're going to go downtown to the samePatrick. Stay pread. Will catch you right back here in about two seconds. Style on cheese five following on twitter. joyless. Excuse me, as badquality. Docom oh, we're back. Hey, we're wild stallions near earnhere. What's up? It's John for bipolar style, and that's hefrom. That be word, all right, that be word. PODCAST, asI like to say, be cubed, borderline, bipolar and beautiful. Thereyou go. I saw your little tagline there. I was listening toyour podcast with Mr Bipolar Joe. I want, I'd like to do apodcast with him. He brought up some interesting points, both about marijuana andabout family court. I guess would be the best way to say that.So if anybody's interested in those things, check out that be word podcast withMr Bipolar Joe, and he's real fascinating to talk to you. I likehis accent. Yeah, and I think I think he should connect with,if he's not already, somebody I'm I follow called Neuro rebel, I thinkthat's her name. She's a big time into she's like what we are,but for the autistic community, okay, or for the community of people withautism. I've read an interesting thing the other day that some s scientists fora minute there about last year, as...

...recently as last year, had cometo the conclusion like wait a second, autism isn't really a disorder, it'sa distinct just kind of person it's just a personality type. People Act thatway. And it was super controversial, but mostly because a lot of thedata kind of indicated that it's just it's just the way of living. Butthen the other folks came back and showed new science and said Nope, Nope, it's still a disorder. Anyway. Yeah, when bipolar Joe was talkingabout autism in his day life, instantly recalled the crossover on twitter from someof the different mental health alliances mental health activists. Some of US share empathy, I guess, with others, and autism. Autism is one of thosethings I shared empathy with and it's pretty cool. So, yeah, MrBipolar Joe is one of the guys I think you guys should follow on twitter. Ie, yeah, he's awesome. Don't that. You're your it's mynew fiber guy. Yeah, his name's your stuff. You want to tryto spell Yoursta? Okay, I'm going to go with e. You areSt H. that's pretty pretty good. It's it's Jay zero zero ste whoyour stuff. Yeah, that's not close and I don't even think zero zerois the right characters. They just don't have those characters in this world.Anyway. I said give it your best shot, man, make it soundmore international, boy, Polish Stil. It worked. Yeah, right,it's kind of fun. I like that. Oh, remind me, aims aimesis great person to follow. Oh yeah, he games is a goodtwitter to follow. I like. I like her. And so, justjust briefly, if you listening, and you and you are listening, we'rein your head right now, just go to bipolar. I mean go toeither bipolar style or that be words bought twitter stream and you can follow alongthere, because I honestly like I don't know if Mr Bipolar Joe, Idon't know what his actual handle is and aims, and not sure her candleis. I think it might be MR BY POLO JOE or Mr I'll spellthat, will bep. No, that's his eating well, yeah, butI mean you get it, Mr Bipoli. Yeah, if you guys know howto use twitter, just go to twitter and poke around at either ofour streams and look for these. And if you don't, but then whynot? Yeah, why not? My twitter has picked up a lot onceI quit facebook at the end of the year. Yes, like it's alot easier just to focus in one place, and now basically I focus on eithertwitter or the slack channel. Bipolar party that we're in, which ispretty funny. I think that will be net asn't know. By the way, that's pretty awesome. Yeah, it was going. I tried it ona couple other platforms over the past, you know, eighteen months or so, and I just I know and like slack, so I figured if I'mgoing to be there anywhere anyway, why why start another platform anyway? Yeah, reality and positivity. That's and our mental health. She's really nice.She always forwards people's Nice messages. She's very positive and uplifting because, like, I'm kind of a Dick on twitter. So, but I mean, youhear my tone. I'm like, I'm not an actual Dick, Ijust kind of prickly. I guess us right, but you hear the toneof my voice and generally speaking, I'm kind and I'm just I just liketo be provocative and kind of be an ass whatever. So that's my tone. But some of these people are genuinely really kind. Yeah, unpacked sparkle, you know, and I'm a sparkle, is great. Yeah, so he'sgreat because he's proudly gay and bipolar. He's a widower and he just flauntsit. So I love that and that's what people love about him too. So, unpacked sparkle, big shout out to you. I do youfollow Amelia? Know How to see easy the strange? Hold on, letme see, I'm going to go there now. Daisy. Yeah, she'sreally she's great. She loves yeah, we follow each other. Yeah,with a little anchor. There's a lot of positive stuff. I really I'minto her twitter all the positivity. Yeah, see, I get I get caughtup because I accidentally a lot of people in my stream retweet things thatare political and then I end up accidentally following the fucking political account and thenevery week or two I have to go trim out all the political things becausethen my my bipolar style stream becomes to anti gun this week or raging againsttrump that week. I'm like, oh now they don't want to hear allthat Shit. Yeah, anyway, just I'm on it. I'm trying to. But we got a shout out to Diane Harwood with a lot of yeah, Diane, Dy Annie. She has been kind of what do you callit when you're up in bed, strung up, hung up and bed whateverthey ate up. That's it. Late, late up. Yeah, I'm throwingup in bed's got a little bit of a different connotation. Yea,she had a broken jaw. So will...

...miss her and for a little whilelonger, but hopefully she gets back on her blog. She's a great personto follow. Yeah, that move are is Eric Check? Oh Yeah,yeah, I don't think he likes me, but I like him, so whatever. I don't I don't think he likes the way I talk about bipolar. I'm too cavalier and flippant with the terms I use. Yeah, maybe, and also I'm just very into, you know, the meaning of wordstotally, and I'm very I appreciate that too. We just see different wordsdifferent way. But yeah, Surez spell that so people can find that.It's Er easy, Schek. Cool, cool, and he's also got ayoutube channel, so he's very active and he reminds me of like unpacked sparkle. That that's kind of his market. Yeah, dig it. See,I know you can't fire. Can't please everybody. I bipolar on fire.That's a good one. I follow to it's funny. I have a lotof borderline people that are in my community. To do you well, you do, because yourself have proclaimed borderliner. Yeah, yeah, that borderline guy. I'm trying to find his handle. I can't find it, but thatfellow his twitter. It's that borderline line. Cool, HMM, I like oneof it's easy to find like that. Once you that's that's the other thingthat kind of trips me out right is, I think we were talkingabout it at the beginning of the earlier podcast just now, kind of theanonimity bit. Like yourself, Mr Mr Bipolar Joe and me. We're allkind of anonymous, right. We hide behind our icons. So what's youropinion of people that are full on like this is what I do, here'smy face. You know, I think it's I mean it's great. Ithink that it's great people feel that they can do that and it's still survivingthe real world, especially capitalism, where they judge that the stigma is sostrong that. Yeah, I always wonder how people that are not famous forthings, like like Adam ants or Russell brand or Maria Banford or somebody likethat. It's like Oh, with they're famous for something else and they alsobold enough to say, Hey, by the way, I'm fucking I havebipolar disorder. Yeah, so I rectal brand, he's so great. Doyou follow his Youtube? I haven't seen it for a while. I don'tfollow a lot. I just I don't know. I like made a consciouseffort to live out in the real world and people think like, Oh,you're better than us, you don't use Youtuber TV, but I'm I fuckinghell of use Youtube and TV. I just it's just like a like amanic person. I just watch a random video of I have a pen Ihave an apple. I mean, I just watch some weird shit, right, and that's it. Then I'll go away outside and so, but I'llwatched Russell Brandon when some of his videos reached kind of the fevered pitch thatget shared around youtube anyway. But yeah, yeah, great. Oh, Ilike the fact that all those people I just mentioned are very articulate.They can kind of convey a principle or a point really clearly to a personthat's healthy and make the person that's healthy think, oh, bipolar people aren'tso crazy after all. Right, yeah, yeah, it's good to have peoplethat can do that. Yeah, we need a few of them.If I'm struggle with that. So, yeah, I'm glad some moll that'sthe thing. I was reading about label theory. There's a thing called labeltheory where, I mean basically you become what people call you. So Ialways worried the most about people newly diagnosed with something like borderline or bipolar disorder, because I think it fucks with their head a little bit and all ofa sudden they think, Oh, I'm dying, I'm dead. Yep,I've got stage four bipolar. It's over. Yeah, and I'm just like no, man, you're the same person you were yesterday with more clarity.That's all. So take that for what you will, but basically you're nodifferent than you were yesterday. You just have more knowledge. So you're not. Yeah, you're not anymore sick because you got labeled. You just moreknowledgeable. Yeah, so, I mean you have to know what something isbefore you can fight it or treat it or however you want to look atit. Yep, Yep, yeah, you can't fight a an enemy thatyou don't know. So exactly. So, yeah, go if you ever feelcrazy, like if you're listening to this and you haven't been diagnosed,not, not, you back you obviously we already know what's wrong with younow, just playing and but I mean it's a new people that find theshow randomly and like are just wondering if you have some kind of disorder.There's no, well, not. I take it back. There is someshame, but it shouldn't be internal. It shouldn't be on you. I'msaying there is a stigma and some of the fears you have about being labeledmight be true. Right, would you? Would you concur on that? Imean, because it's definitely stigma does exist. Yeah, but that's noexcuse to deny yourself that knowledge about yourself. Like, if you think you mightbe feeling crazy, just go find out. Maybe you have something,maybe there's something wrong with your brain.

It's not you. You didn't havesex too many times. It's not a moral dilemma, it's a brain disease. Yeah, and I mean there's so much support, at least in theonline area that I follow it. You can always find somebody to talk toyou if you're feeling overwhelmed or so like. Oh, speaking of the people thatare outspoken under their own names, electro boy USA, Andy Berman,he's good. Oh yeah, but bipolar activists. He's just at the electroboy USA over on. Do you ever go to twitter? I'm droop.Do you ever go over to instagram? Not much. I don't do muchon it. There's some funny ones of ore there. There's like halfway toHannah. She's a bipolar activists. There's the bipolar Barbie. She's a bipolaractivist. And you know, they're pretty bold. They might not, Imean I don't actually know either one of their real names, but who cares? You know they're using their real faces and speaking their truth, telling thestory. It's kind of cool. It's even, to me, more boldon Instagram, where you actually have to show your face, because I'm abig old coward and I hide behind my smiley face guy. But you know, to each his own. Yeah, there's aims. Oh, so aims. Hi, hi, aims. Her her twitter is aims. Can Doames, can do with the K Ka and Doo. And Yeah, she'salways around like whenever I'm like. You can just tell, like on twitter, when people follow you, by what they like and the way they reply. If they're genuinely nice, people like yeah, how fast they reply.If you're in need, some people are like Oh, and they'll say theright thing. So aims is one of those people. DIG It. AndI'm a good friend ANICA. That's who I stay within New Orleans and Louisiana, street fort and whatnot. Yeah, Sonnica, that was great. Overrunby dogs, but I think overrun. I think he's a political guy.So sorry, buddy, I like a speaking of animals, I am Moshow. Do you follow him? Oh, oh my God, he's that.It's just cats. It's all in his cats. I'm going over tothe SPCA today literally, I plan my bite, my bus route. Ihave to get around the fucking St Patrick's parade somehow, but I'm hopping ona bus to go to the SPCA to look at kiddies today. I thinkI want to get one. I thought about dogs, right, but withdogs in the city you got to walk them and when you walk them aroundthis neighborhood you're walking them on the germs and then you're walking them back intoyour house and then they jump on your bed. You See. Yeah,this especially. Yeah, I did the infectious madness book about germs and howthey can cause some mental illnesses. Yeah, I couldn't read that. I mean, wait, see how you're doing it. What we got like fiveseconds literally. You want to do it again? Sure, I don't care. Yeah, hi, this is becky from that B word podcast, andthis is johnny emotions from bipolar style and weirdly, are wild stallions. Now, that was that was not our best. That was not I'm not or worse, but they haven't heard the practice ones and that's true. Okay,so to explain now why those three fucking podcast here is we're testing some software. We're testing some software called speaker, which I did, which will ultimatelyallow me to podcast from my phone from anywhere for ten seconds at a time. There's a fifteen minute limit on this thing, and apparently becky and Ican't limit ourselves to fifteen minutes at a time. We just talk too much. Yeah, this is the third, third one around, which is isgreat. So typically we're like Yin and Yang to each other. And Yeah, but your eye, and what's kind? Am I your an introvert? Yes, yes, I'm an extrovert. See, that's it, but actuallythat that makes me y right, that's I had to look it up.The last time I tried to make the metaphors online because I didn't want tolook like an idiot. And but in this context I don't want to assumethat one of us is the light and one is the dark either. Solet's just leave it at that. It's cool, I'm cooling the dark.Well, I'm yeah, I'm cool with being the ASSHOLE. Just the likeloud, fucking who'sh that guy would shut up. Guy, YEA Mannah.People subscribe to your podcast. A, here you talk. What else doyou think they do it for? I don't I have no fucking idea.I think they're confused, push the wrong button. That like the logo orsomething like. All right, let's cool logo. Thanks people, but yeah, by pull it. So we're basically just going through, if you haven'tlistened to the last two episodes, becky and I are going through some justof our favorite twitter people, and that favorite of all time just kind ofcurrently favorite because, you know, what have you done for me lately istop of the mind and really would just scrolling through our twitter and seeing who'vebeen talking to you lately. But there's a lot of a lot of coolstuff out there. Brian Hinkle, he's a new guy. I think hejust drowned our our slack group too,...

...if you go to buy any Ithink so. He asked about it, I think, but he's not usingthat name. Maybe in slack. I'd have to check. He's my he'sone of my listeners. Hey, Brian, how you doing? Wait, ishe in slack? Hold on, do do, do, do,do. Maybe he changed his name to norm. Well, decide, I'mjust playing. I'm nice you. I thought normal somebody else. Maybe not. Probably. I haven't actually asked. I'm just assuming how people are rightnow. Man. So also, like have you like generally speaking, forNew People, for new bipolar or borderline, but particularly by porter breeper bipolar inthis case. Have you noticed any good roles in entertainment projects, movies, film shorts, documentaries, TV series or whatever, that that represent bipolarand not like an accurate light, let's say. I don't care if it'spositive or negative, but have you seen any of that that represent by polaraccurately to you? Well, I really you got me into Maria Bamford's Ohgosh, I can't remember the name of it now. Lady Dyed Tom youknow it? Yep, yeah, lady dyed away. Yeah, yeah,give me onto that, and I really loved it. It's so deep andso rich in detailed. So, Oh yeah, wherever you are, ifyou sign up for a free netflix trial, just go straight to lady dynamite andwatch Maria Banford. If you're aware of Maria Banford, then I'm sureyou've already seen it. She's also got another one called, I get itwrong all the time, a stand up called grown baby. I think it'scalled. Yeah, I was just looking at her twitter page when it's onthere she's she's really unique and in that she portrays people with bipolar disorder andactually has it, which is great. It's like hiring a gay guy toplay a gay guy in a movie, or a black person to play ablack person in a movie. It's neat when you can actually hire the personwith the disability to play a person with the disability. Yeah, like,because the other thing that comes to mind is, like Claire Danes. RememberClaire Danes? Oh, yeah, and now she's on homeland. Homeland.Yeah, but what was he on in the s? What was that myso called life? Is that Clar I think so. I just remember.There's a cool band called size fourteen that had an excellent song called Claire DanesPoster, and probably slider in right there. I don't know. You don't.I know. We're gonna fix it in post. That's great. Ilove that song. Some beer, stay at home and stare at but ClaireDays Poster Anyway. So apparently clear days does a marginal job of representing somebodywith bipolar disorder. I don't really watch that show. I don't have showtime. Yeah, I'm not really there. I'm not rich. All of richpeople showtime cable premium cable money. So who else got? There's not alot of rippers. Oh wait, silver lining playbook. Yeah, I haven'tactually seen that either. Okay, that was reasonable. That was a reasonabledepiction of somebody with bipolar disorder, I thought. Oh wait, except thewrong person, I think, was depicted with it. So in the moviethe wasn't the dude has it. Oh, I thought it was the girl whodid. Yeah, the in my perspective, the girl acts like somebodywith bipolar disorder. That's pretty close. The dude just I don't know,I guess he does. But yeah, just check that out. Silver liningsplaybook is worthy of anybody that's interested in bipolar disorder, just to watch howthose people act, how they amp up the situation, how things get liketurned up really fast without good reason, that kind of thing. Yeah,yeah, it just everyday life situations, kind of a you know, ayear in the life of kind of thing. And it's also a love story,so it's Nice. It's got Christopher. Yeah, yeah, have you heardthe of this new movie coming out called UNSANE? Have you seen marcialsfor that? I saw and of all over Youtube and stuff. Yeah,I saw the trailer, not the like the short trailer, and I've seenthe video car hard, like the you know, the advertisement card for it. Yeah, what do you think about that? I'm kind of not Idon't think that's really something that I want to see. Let me refresh mymemory. It's got. It's a Steven Soderberg film that I'm not into hisstuff a lot. He's a little young woman is involuntarily committed to a mentalinstitution where she's confronted by our greatest fear. But is it real or a projectof her delusion? Oh, I supposely was this guy who was stalkingher. And Yeah, I would like...

...that. That movie would probably makeme feel trapped. I would probably have to get out of the theater justbecause I can't handle my own emotions. But it sounds like a paranoid delusionthat I would have, like Oh, yeah, I don't like I don'twant to go to the fucking emergency room because they'll keep me there forever.You know. Yeah, I always, like I said, as a kid, I used to like Whoa what if they accused you of something and youweren't, because I think I used to go to like a little weird classesas as a kid, like in second grade we would go learn about Greekmythology. One Time we learned about the Salem witch trials and they had talkedabout like well, if you were accused, they would tie you up and throwyou off the plank of a ship and if you drowned you weren't awhich, but if you swam you were a witch, and then they'd burnyou at the stake. So that was always in my hand. I'm like, well, you're just fucked if someone accuses you of being mentally ill,because they're either going to, you know, force you to do it that wayor that way, but either way their label sticks. Yeah, it'stoo much nobloy yeah, I don't I don't think I'll be able to seeeither. It's just gonna this is gonna be terrible. I'm more worried,though. I mean, I don't have to see it if I don't wantto, right, but I'm more worried that it's gonna oh yeah, there'sa movie last year that was like that. I've yet what it was called,but it was the same type of thing, a split personality one.Was it called Split? Yeah, split. Yeah, did you ever see that? I did not see that one either, for the same reasons.Yeah, I can't I guess I kind of avoid a lot of those kindof movies. Yeah, seen any of the ones we've talked about? Thelast one I saw that I did like. That had to do with that kindof mental illness. Was Way back, like in the s stick stigmata.was that the one we're just kept forgetting? Shit, no, stigmattois the one with the Oh yeah, that was that lake ever with thestick matast. Okay, that was satanic possession movie. STIGMATA. Yeah,what was it called? With a guy cut, he had no short termmemory, he had a tattoo everything on his body. Momentum, Momento.Yeah, yeah, so I like that. That was clever and that had todo with some kind of mental illness, I guess. But yeah, whatabout musicians, like did you ever get into the like? Some musiciansare pretty outspoken somewhere less. Adam at was like known for that. Youseen the AMY winehouse movie? I haven't. Now that's of great movies because it'sall home video. It's not there's nothing shot on a pro camera.It's all her and her friends shooting her life and edite really, really well. But what I got from that was she might have a touch of thattoo. Now I'm like, I can't. I mean it's easy for me tosay I'm just the guy talking with the Mike. I'm not a doctor, obviously, but she appeared as a person who was trying to treat herbipolar disorder with drugs. That's what it appears like to me, just asa person who's done the same thing. I'm like, Huh, that lookslike looks like a girl version of me. I'm glad I'm not dead. Yeah, yeah, that or she kind of reminds me a lot of Nirvana, Kurt Cobain, to WHO. Yeah, there's a coup that way, reallydarky documentaries about that too. Some of them include some great scribbles fromhis own Journal. He use the graphics from his own life that he haddrawn to excellent effect. That was great. Oh and trip on this. Okay, what happened? Miss Simon, I think, is the name ofthis about Nina Simone? Okay, I am not miliar. That's inspiring.If you don't know Nina Simone's work, folks out there outside of America,she was like a black activists back in the S, but also this reallyinfluential soul singer, or my guess jazz soul. She had really sultry littletimber voice and she was amazing. But what I didn't know about it,because I had just learned of her music through that. What was it waslike a bridget fond of movie no way out or something like that, whenshe played like an assassin. Back in the day. She was obsessed withNina Simone, her character was obsessed. So back in the S I foundout about Nina Simon. Anyway, forward to today. Well, she's definitelybipolar or has bipolar disorder, however you want to say that. Nina Simone. What happened Miss Simone? Definitely check that out because it's interesting to watchfrom a different perspective of somebody who has bipolar disorder but is also black,who's also a woman, who's a hardcore civil rights activist, and then sheends up marrying like this x White New York Serpico cop dude, and that'sthat's her guy, and there makes like this team and they tackle the recordindustry together and the whole thing. It's an amazing story and watching the wholething it's like, yeah, power to the bipolar people. It's a funwatch. That's a good does them yeah, adamant, remember adamant from back inthe day. Bipolar. Yeah, the two that that don't acknowledge it, and this might be something to think about. Whether or not you acknowledgedbipolar and public is Elon Musk and somebody likes sting. Yeah, I justheard about Elon Musk. Right, but...

...but he doesn't come out right andsay it. He says it in a way that George Clooney doesn't say he'sgay. You know, it's like it's like, yeah, it's not important, dread Clooney's gay. Yeah, we people ask George Clooney if he's gay. His answers almost universally it's none of your business, but not because he'sgay. It's just like he very firmly believes that it's none of anybody's businessabout either direction. But it's true. And so I think that people likestaying and Elon Musk, although they've alluded to it, we don't know theirmedical records. They're not outright saying I have bipolar disorders. So it makesyou wonder, like, well, it was that their acknowledgements? Are theymisusually the words what the way? I thought that Elon Musk was saying itwas that it was sort of like a self diagnosis for him, that hethought that right. He hadn't actually gotten diagnosis side. Yeah, but likein how much study did he do on the topic? To Self Diag yes, which, but I mean it's valid. He's yeah, lack of sleep andthat drive, super low, low sativity. Yeah, yeah, flight, flights of fantasy or and the grand delusions of grandeur. Let's fly toours. But look, sometimes that shit actually works. You know, ittakes kind of, quote unquote, a crazy person to push society's envelope.And if he is a bipolar disordered person, then blessing man, we can goon like this forever. So, yeah, we probably anyway. Well, we got like I've got a minute thirty left, so this is aboutto cut off. We've given both both shows, the B word show,that B word show, and bipolar style Stoil, like forty, forty fiveminutes of content, of completely faceless content. But I appreciate the use loose.What about people like to hear, I guess, talking, and Ithink it if this sounds as good as it sounds in my ears, peoplewill appreciate the different tones in a podcast. The man, woman tone hmm.Yeah, I think. Yeah, it sounds as as layers of flavor. It's pretty cool. So anyway, I appreciate you time. Thanks fortaking time off on St Patti's Day. Enjoy your new color. Thank you. Thanks for talking to me. Tell the wife and kids and you gotanimals, thanks. If you got animals, tell them all. Thanks for yourtime. Oh Yeah, I'M gonna go look for Madamal and I willlook for a kitty like for the same reasons I just said. Are yougoing to get a little, little baby one? I'll get whatever speaks tome. Really we're I'm just going to the rescue cages and we'll look around, because I have a certain look in mind, and it doesn't pertain toage or anything, just like how they respond to me, how the howstrong their neck is when they push up against my hand when I go toscratch him. There's a lot of little things involved. I've been a catperson most of my life, but I like dogs a lot too. Ijust don't want a dog in the city for the German reason we talked about. Yeah, yeah, okay, let's you see that. What's definitely anissue. You got a url for your podcast. I do it's that beword at stone fruit media DOTNET. Cool, and I am at bipolar stylecom styleon cheese following on twitter. Joys. Excuse me, Hey, you stuckaround. Good thinking. All right, so that was pretty fun, right, I thought. So there's neat. I'd like to have a second voicekind of bouncing off mine, give the show a little more context,a little more contour, and I thought it was fun. I paid forthe software, by the way, so we don't have those fifteen minute stopsat every point. That's great. I'll be using that on Monday when Italked to Becca Lombardo about keep talking MH. And okay, so here's the thing. Before, when I added the little intro bit before the podcast,you heard the sirens. So those sirens did stop at my building. Andokay, so the little background. I manage a big building where they basicallyhouse all the the lowest rung of society. People are broken and sick and theydon't have any healthcare workers or they're just totally forgotten people. Right,so people die pretty frequently and I'm used to seeing dead people, rig andMortis and that sort of thing. Hopefully their caregiver or adult protective services hadchecked on them frequently enough so they don't start to sting that it's kind ofgross. But we've also implemented some programs since I've got here to wear neighborscheck on each other. So anyway, from a property management standpoint, youdo the best you can with with the broken old people that are near death. But today was different. When those sirens were down there there was agal social worker had come to do a...

...welfare check on whatever clients. Sowhat she had found was that he had passed away, which, okay,that's one thing, and so she was by the time, you know,I went downstairs, she had grabbed the dog and she was waiting in thelobby. There's the dog and I'm like, Oh damn, that stinks like ifyou've ever smelled a dead body who you never forget the smell and itgets instantly up into your sinuses and makes your eyes water and gets your throat. It feels like you tasted is nourly anyway. So I just kind ofshut the door grabbed the fan because the last time, apparently this happens,somebody didn't put a fan in the room and it just got stinkier and stinkierbecause we weren't allowed to break the seal after the police had taken away thebody. Not We, but whoever was working here then. Like I said, I'm the new guy here anyway. So we got the fan in theroom and waited for the police. So the police we're doing their work andthen the corner examiner office guy, he came up. He was doing hiswork and we had had some his ID and some keys that the social workerhad in her hand had given to us. So he said, okay, Ineed because she had taken off the social worker lady, and we hadthe dog downstairs in my assistant manager's office waiting for the SPCA. So thepolice said, okay, can you come upstairs? And you know what theguy looks like, right. I'm all yeah, so let me just canyou identify if I go take a picture of his of his face, andI'm sure, of course I'm getting choked up just thinking of the smell.He goes in the room, comes back down the hall, About Twenty FeetDown the hall and says now it's not identifiable, like what the fuck?What does that mean? He brought the other guy that had some kind ofquiet discussion and we're back and forth and they wanted to go, you know, they walked back in the room and I'm like, Dude, can Ilook and he's all, well, you might not want to, but hedoesn't know me. I'm curious as fucking like yeah, I totally want tolook at like what I want to see, like what is that? What's goingon over there? And my man, not sure I wanted to see that, but I'm glad I did because it's so impactful. So here's whathappened and I don't know how the report I know what I saw. Idon't know what the fucking reports going to show or whatever. But the guyhas no next of kin. He's they signed them off as John Doe becausehe had no face. Yet the face. So what it looks like to me. It happened. And this is what's sad, because I know abit of the history of the Guy I've I've been here like six weeks orso and I know this particular guy was taken away a couple of weeks agobecause of mental health problem and he was kind of paranoid and roaming around thehalls with the big old knife, excuse me, freaking people out I'm usedto people roaming around with knives, so it didn't really freak me out,but it definitely, you know, something we had to address. His socialworker came back. Then he was resistant to any kind of help or goingto the hospital voluntarily. So he resisted in the police took him away andanyway, since then he's been back. But I put that into context becauseof what I saw in the room. Holy Shit, okay, I sawto like helium tanks, look like the kind you'd get at the you knowcraft store for your helium balloons at a kids party. To those tanks,some rubber tube into a, you know, hefty bag wrapped around his head,it's pretty clear he died by suicide. To me, I'm just thinking myselfprofessional death merchant. I don't know what those guys right in their reportsor what's even relevant after the guys passed on, but I'm like wow,that's that's just sad because, as you know, we have a bipolar showhere. We talked about mental health all the time on twitter and it's justsuicide as a whole different thing. When people die of old age, theyjust fade away. That, like I said, that happens a lot andwe used to see in dead bodies. In this particular case, though,this guy just wasn't a dead body. This guy had taken his own life, I believe, early, just by the other way the room was setup. Here's the shocking part. Not Want to skip forward through this orjust go to the next episode or something, because it's Gnarly, not only onthe dudes head, where the like white hefty bag kind of thing waswrapped around his neck. So they're the bag was torn open. Like thedog who lived in there was like a corgy sized dog. HMM, maybewas a corgy or Jack Russell Terry or something, you know, something aroundthat that range. I'm just going to say what I think happened. Ithink the dog fucking tore open, ripped open the hefty bag and ate thedudes face. I've heard of this happening.

I've never seen it in person fivefeet away, but when the cop let me in there to go takea look and I'm like Whoa, that is fucking gnarly. The dudes fuckinghead was like eating a way down to his skull. His nose was gone, his eye was out of the socket. You could see his his whole teethand jawline. And that didn't just happen from the helium inside of apaper bag. The paper bag was definitely ripped and that dog was not hungry. So we had the dog downstairs in the in the office, like theassistant manager's office, and the assistant managers like just real happy. Oh,we take care of the dog. That it. And I come downstairs I'mlike, AH, fuck, keep that keep that dog's death mouth germs thefuck away from me. He's been eating face, and she last like afunny, oh, that's funny. Fire Department guy made that same joke,I might ask. No joke. I just came from fucking upstairs. Isaw the guy's skull missing his face and that dog ate it. She goeswhat I'm like, don't give the dog any kisses, not that dog,not today. So man anyway. So are you glad you stuck around forthat? Oh, which kind of brings me to the whole point of thispast episode. Putting together this other software, I'm going to do much more frequent, shorter podcasts over at John emotionscom. So if you just want to hearmy day to day misadventures, that's the place. To Be, andthat way I can keep bipolar style, which you can listen to, abipolar stylecom just more focused on bipolar issues. Sound cool all right, but eitherway, if you want by polar style stuff, subscribe on Itunes.Same thing John Emotions. The show they're on itunes is called the art ofemotions and you can find it directly through the Internet. If you don't wantto subscribe through Itunes, just go to Johnny emotionscom cool. Cool, allright, there's my kid texting me, he said and back from college springbreak. I'm excited. All right, check it out. Glad you listenedand I hope to see you on the Internet's visit me on twitter by polarstyle or johnny emotions. Take Care, see you.

In-Stream Audio Search

NEW

Search across all episodes within this podcast

Episodes (120)